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Forums: Relationships: Husband disabled im lonley
11/27/2007 4:06:17 PM Husband disabled im lonley  

lonleyalone1
Perry, GA
age: 40

 My husband is suffering from an mental illness caused by a stroke last year. Life between us is different. There is no love left on my side. I am so torn between how I feel and what to do. Is there anyone out there that understands me
11/27/2007 4:14:27 PM Husband disabled im lonley  

kfab1023
Jacksonville, FL
age: 51

 I can feel your pain. My husband died last October and the last 2 years he was very ill. He was left unable to do anything he wasn't even able to talk and all his care was up to me and I also worked full time. I miss my husband and I loved him very much ( still do) but it is such a painfull time to go through isn't it? Honey you need to find someone to talk to it isn't that you don't love him I think deep down you do you are at a hard place in your life right now and you need to take some me time.You can talk to me anytime I pray for you to have peace
11/27/2007 4:21:46 PM Husband disabled im lonley  

lonleyalone1
Perry, GA
age: 40

 Thank you so much for replying. It has been so difficult to go through day to day life watching everything I love disappear. I do have friends that I talk to, but none of my friends understand what I'm going through, but they are there for emotional support. I am lonley and just miss him....Even though he is here, he isn't here....I thank you for understanding....
11/27/2007 4:23:24 PM Husband disabled im lonley  

niccarican
Indianapolis, IN
age: 34

 sorry hon

11/27/2007 4:25:51 PM Husband disabled im lonley  

lonleyalone1
Perry, GA
age: 40

 Thanks
11/27/2007 4:26:51 PM Husband disabled im lonley  

kfab1023
Jacksonville, FL
age: 51

 You know everyone said to me I know what you are going through and I understand how you feel but no one knows unless it is something they go through and I wish it on no one. it is hard isn't it? The love you have changes and you change inside your heart hurts so bad. But you will be okay this I know for I have been there just remember to take time for yourself that is so important and dont be afraid or too proud to ask for help either. Like I said email me any time my friend I will always listen and know your pain.
11/27/2007 4:33:34 PM Husband disabled im lonley  

italianlady05
Omaha, NE
age: 53

 Oh lonleyalone..I went through that 21 years ago with my first husband. A surgery left him totally disabled. He had stroke after stroke and when i brought him home after 5 months, he couldn't walk, see, remember (short and long term), he wore depends and had to have 24/7 care. I was no longer a wife. I was a care provider. I also had a newborn, 2yr old, 5yr old and a 9 yr old. Life was so very hard for all of us. I really really feel for you. I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. I'm so sorry. If you want to write me and chat, we sure can. I've been there. I will be there for you if you want to talk. I will listen. A big hug from me!
11/27/2007 4:36:02 PM Husband disabled im lonley  

cntry8hrt
Baker City, OR
age: 51

 Hi,

Not only do I understand, but I have been there in my own journey through life. The experience leaves you filled with many decisions that have to be made about how to live your life and how everyone is affected around you. My husband too had a stroke that changed our entire lives a few years ago. Something like an illness really makes one question their role in life and what and how they are going to do now that things have changed so much. I feel helpless here without being able to talk to you in IM or something like that. Even though you don't know me, you have a friend with a cyber shoulder that you can lay your head on.
11/27/2007 4:36:36 PM Husband disabled im lonley  

ylekiot
Carson City, NV
age: 51

 Italianlady...awesome reply. Way to step up!
11/27/2007 4:39:52 PM Husband disabled im lonley  

kfab1023
Jacksonville, FL
age: 51

 italianlady it is hard isn't it. I became the caretaker too. The depends bathing getting him in and out of the wheel chair it is so hard when you know what is was isn't it. Even though I lost my husband last year I am still healing but I found this out God won't ever give you more than you can handle even though it feels like it at times. A hug to you my sister
11/27/2007 4:44:49 PM Husband disabled im lonley  

italianlady05
Omaha, NE
age: 53

 thanks, ylekiot..it's actually hard to even write that news, even after all these years. I feel for her. Life can be so hard at times. I hope she writes me. And i hope that I can be of some help. That's what we are all here for, isn't it? To help one another?
11/27/2007 4:49:50 PM Husband disabled im lonley  

kfab1023
Jacksonville, FL
age: 51

 That and to love one another. I hope she will email me also if she needs to talk it is important to have someone to talk to there are alot of feelings to deal with as you well know. I know I will never get over it or stop loving my husband I just have to move forward know because that is what life is isn't it and I pray everyday that I can do it.
11/27/2007 4:51:16 PM Husband disabled im lonley  

castertroy
Howell, NJ
age: 38

 I often wonder how i would react to something like that...
Sometimes we take for granted our health and mental sanity , i can only wish you will have the presence of mind to do the right thing.
Perhaps , a solution would be to commit your husband to a facility where he can be taken care of by professionals
I hope you will find peace and happiness again
Best wishes to you and yours.
11/27/2007 4:54:42 PM Husband disabled im lonley  

kfab1023
Jacksonville, FL
age: 51

 see that is one thing I couldn't do I wanted my husband with me so I knew he was getting the care and the love he needed. And even with him gone I thank him everyday for the 33 years we had togeather no one can take those memory's from me. And you would be surprised by what you can do if you have to
11/27/2007 4:58:14 PM Husband disabled im lonley  

italianlady05
Omaha, NE
age: 53

 thanks, Kfab..time does heal most of it, but not all. I'm sorry you went through it too.
Being the caretaker was hard. I had a husband, but I didn't. But I had the joys too. And I had all the problems (money, raising the kids ect ect)..and you know, i'd take all those problems again and again. Being in his shoes was worse. My issues were minor. That helped me through some tough days. Thanks, sister.

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