| 7/14/2009 7:25:16 PM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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soulemateseeker
Saukville, WI
48, joined Apr. 2009
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| 7/14/2009 7:39:50 PM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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briarrose66
Tacoma, WA
51, joined Jun. 2009
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because he wants you for part of his collection, his 2nd string booty call. He keeps you thinking he's into you, and puts forth just enough effort to make you believe it, so he can keep you on a little teather, while he's in 5 different conversations with 5 other women who in his mind rank higher than you...but he's got to have that booty cushion....someone in the wings so when the 1st string sees what a player he is, he's still got you....unless you're friends with the first string...then you all get together and talk about him, then he gets blocked by everyone
bitter? why yes, yes I am 
I hope your situation resolves itself soon.
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| 7/15/2009 5:39:38 AM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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smilin4u2
Kerrville, TX
48, joined May. 2009
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Doesn't sound bitter to me, it actually sounds like reality.
In my Online Education I have found that men are just like us in the begginning, and then their "Barbie Complex" takes over.
They want a pretty little thing to fall head over heels! Of course "Barbie" in most cases does not have a profile online, at least not one that shows her pictures that make her look like a porn star.
Interest varies with men depending on their "Upgrade" ability. They will run from profile to profile, and if they are talking all happy go lucky with you today, and get viewed by someone they consider higher up on the ladder, then you get bumped down a rung.
The easiest way to say it is, Do Not consider them interested until you meet them, and see the white of their eyes.
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| 7/15/2009 7:37:32 AM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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alicekathleen
Sacramento, CA
71, joined May. 2008
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Yep, it's the old back burner thing going on!
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| 7/15/2009 4:53:38 PM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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duchessa
Yonkers, NY
63, joined Aug. 2008
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Well, some guys may not care and think of you as a price to keep around " just in case" . Other men -this was told to me by mu brother- can't take to see a lady hurt and prefer to slowly move away...a 3rd. group (lack of better name) don't feel like listening to women telling them they are bastards. I guess there are many other reasons.
Are we bitter about this behavior? Some aladies are and others are not...but we must remember that we do exactly the same.
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| 7/15/2009 5:11:09 PM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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1girliegirl
Philadelphia, PA
97, joined Mar. 2008
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Duchessa, I agree with you. The first thing I thought when I saw the title of this thread was, some women do the same thing.
I'd like to believe it's just human nature to not want to hurt someone. It could be something else, but I'd rather not consider it.
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| 7/15/2009 5:28:13 PM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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duchessa
Yonkers, NY
63, joined Aug. 2008
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1girliegirl,
I don't date a man unless I am interested.....and I will tell him if the relatiojnship can't continue. I can't ask for respect if I don't practice it myself.
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| 7/15/2009 8:39:38 PM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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musicdesign
Moodus, CT
55, joined Apr. 2007
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I see online dating as a revolving door. You are in then out really fast. I hold no stock in what they say even after meeting. If we are together a few months seeing no others, then maybe I'll believe it.
As to why they can't tell us if not interested? Lack of respect. How much time does an email take to write? That is the chicken way out, but better than nothing.
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| 7/15/2009 10:48:12 PM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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angeljewel
Fenton, MI
51, joined May. 2009
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because he wants you for part of his collection, his 2nd string booty call. He keeps you thinking he's into you, and puts forth just enough effort to make you believe it, so he can keep you on a little teather, while he's in 5 different conversations with 5 other women who in his mind rank higher than you...but he's got to have that booty cushion....someone in the wings so when the 1st string sees what a player he is, he's still got you....unless you're friends with the first string...then you all get together and talk about him, then he gets blocked by everyone
bitter? why yes, yes I am
I hope your situation resolves itself soon.
Think I may have met this one. Luckily I see the red flags early on.
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| 7/16/2009 7:41:53 AM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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mistyskies454
Cape Girardeau, MO
61, joined Feb. 2008
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I agree with briarrose66....I only wish the ladies would join together and let each other know who is a forsure known player-would prevent a lot of wasted time and efforts.
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| 7/16/2009 5:46:24 PM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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duchessa
Yonkers, NY
63, joined Aug. 2008
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I agree with briarrose66....I only wish the ladies would join together and let each other know who is a forsure known player-would prevent a lot of wasted time and efforts.
Well, what if the guy seems to be a player with one lady and with the next he is the perfect one? I don' t say some are not players...but generalizing and guiding ourselves by other ladies' experiences i think is not fair to anybody/
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| 7/16/2009 6:49:54 PM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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mistyskies454
Cape Girardeau, MO
61, joined Feb. 2008
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now why didn't I know that was coming...I'm talking about when one is suppose to be in an exclusive relationship w/a man only to find out that when he's not with you-he's with several others at the same time and telling them ALL that he's exclusive to them....no, I DO NOT think all men are doing this, I'm just saying..wouldn't it be nice to just get a heads up before one or more gets hurt..you do know of course that some of the men also keep a "player" list on here...I'm sorry if I offended anyone and will try to keep my replies to myself after all, God forbid if I go against the grain a bit.. I'm really just saying ..if you aren't that interested-just step up to the plate and say so.
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| 7/16/2009 8:18:17 PM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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rocket000
Suwanee, GA
59, joined Mar. 2007
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This is why I advocate not becoming intimate with someone until you've been dating awhile. This does not mean 2-3 dates or a few weeks. It's very difficult to think clearly and notice red flags when you're caught up in the heat of the moment. A leopard can only hide his spots for so long.
It would be nice "if" a guy could "man up" and say, "I enjoyed getting to know you but don't see the potential for a long term connection", but too many men and women do not extend this courtesy. I do.
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| 7/17/2009 1:53:45 AM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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alrose
West Point, GA
68, joined Jan. 2008
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I think maybe you're like a reserve. I had a guy I'd ride bikes with, really liked him, but I wasn't going to bed with him--period. I wasn't attracted to him like that. I was brought up differantly. So guess I'm too rigid. When I ask him outright where this was going? He got very quiet. Told me how great I was. He had told me he wanted a christian woman and was so glad he'd found me. After all that, he ask me to lets' be friends. You know, I thought that's what we were!
Got a call from him and he's going with a "nice woman". His son told me she was so nice, she was staying a week at a time - she 'd go home on Sundays so he could go to church!
He had the nerve to ask me if it didn't work out with her if I'd go out with him again. No, I won't. If I'd known from the beginning he was hunting a "nice girl", I'd never have dated him. I sure did like his HARLEY!!!!
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| 7/17/2009 7:49:46 AM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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mistyskies454
Cape Girardeau, MO
61, joined Feb. 2008
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I agree with alrose..be upfront about it, not way down the line.. if after few weeks or dates, at my age, I can tell if I want to continue or not so I won't waste their time, just wish they wouldn't waste mine
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| 7/17/2009 10:43:00 AM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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smilin4u2
Kerrville, TX
48, joined May. 2009
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Misty seems to be very Agreeable 
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| 8/21/2009 3:38:52 PM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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hugz224
Saint Charles, IL
28, joined Aug. 2009
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oh my god i know!
one guy that i was talking to on here, well he said all this stuff in his profile about how he gives what he gets.  i'm sitting here asking him questions about his life, then he says i'm asking the wrong questions! argh! i finally called him out on it, and he didn't say anything back.
girls, if someone does this to you, call him out! he may just be shy or unable to come up with good questions, or make good conversation.
i don't put up with him anymore, and thank god! he was driving me nuts!
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| 8/21/2009 5:30:14 PM |
Why can't a guy tell you he's not interested, when he's not?? |
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libra115
Warren, MI
70, joined Mar. 2009
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I think women, in general, are just more considerate than men and are more sensitive to other peoples feelings. 
If I wouldn't consider spending the rest of my life with a man, I won't date him. If I do date him a few times and then find he is just not right for me, I will break it off. In either case, I try to be nice, tell them the chemistry just isn't there and wish them the best in their search. Why waste my time and theirs? I don't need a date that badly.
Men, on the other hand, don't know what to say and are very uncomfortable in the situation. They may keep you on the "back burner....just in case" but generally it is easier for them to just not call anymore. I guess you could say they take the "chicken" way out. 
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