| 12/27/2007 9:42:01 PM |
Well I knew it was bound to happen |
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charlesdecker
Sun Valley, CA
age: 37 online now!
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Don't you think part of being "her rock" is also being a father to her child?
Seems like she sort of contradicted herself on that one.
Edit:
There does seem to be a few red flags around her.
20 years old, pregnant, and looking to get into another relationship?
Hmmmm..........
[Edited 12/27/2007 9:43:52 PM]
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| 12/28/2007 2:26:50 AM |
Well I knew it was bound to happen |
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irparis39
New York, NY
age: 48
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I agree with everyone else. Not only to take it slow, but also don't even think about putting your name on that baby's birth certificate because that will make you legally responsible for child support for the next 18 years. And not to mention that should you two not work out, she will haul your butt into court every chance she gets when you don't come through with that money.
And lets suppose you do break up and you meet someone else, nothing has more fury than a woman scorn, if she's immature enough to get herself pregnant so young, she will be immature enough to give you and any new relationship you may have the "pit bull bunch". You may have to move eslewhere.
I think its admirable of you to want to help her out. But the furthest thing from her mind right now should be another relationship. She should be thinking about her child. At 20 she has alot of her life ahead of her and should be in school, at work, finding who she is and/or what her needs should be to be a strong and empowered young lady. She should also consider if she's going to keep this child or not, does she have enough family support to raise a child and can she emotionally and mentally handled it.
You seem like a nice guy, but you also seem to need to play the chivalry card, you seem to like to be needed by helping the ones that can't help themselves. The problem with that is that there's a sucker born every minute with the same attitude and if its not you, it will be someone else for this girl because she has gotten it into her head that only a man can help her. And as she probably knows what you're made of, be prepare to find out that she knows you well enough to how to play you. I'm sure if she's not getting the support at home, she'll find some poor sap who's older and willing to take care of her and her child. Though remember, this will be HER child, therefore if she feels you're not stepping the way she wants you to, she can leave with HER child after you've learned to love he/she. Again, she will always hold that above your head in arguements.
So I'm glad you're taking it slow, but regardless of what she says...talk to her on the phone as soon as possible. Online she can say whatever you want to hear. On the phone or in person you can better read body language and voice intonation to make sure she is who she says she is. The fact that she doesn't want to talk to you on the phone is a red flag. Caution. And please do not get it into your head that this relationship can play out the way you want it to because you both have alot in common. Usually the same people who go into a good relationship are not the same people when they come out of a fail relationship. So do not sign anything, or do anything until you talk to someone, a friend or family member. Because sometimes love isn't enough.
Paris
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| 12/28/2007 4:22:13 AM |
Well I knew it was bound to happen |
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emt854
Appleton, WI
age: 53
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Syn you stated your ready to put your name on the babys birth certificate..and thats only 3 months away. Please dont do that, you can be a daddy later if that is what you choose but the minute you put your name on that certificate your responsible to pay support for the next 18 years whether the relationship works or not. She needs to put the real dads name on that certificate..hes responsible not you. Sounds like your being set up hun..and the fact that she hasnt even talked to you on the phone? Big red flag.
Run fast
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| 12/28/2007 11:56:41 AM |
Well I knew it was bound to happen |
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syndrome1980
Winston Salem, NC
age: 27
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I did not state I was ready to put my name on the birth certificate. I only said IF me and this girl work out after a few meetings and IF it progresses. I never said I was in love with her or putting my name on the birth certificate. She has not asked me to be the daddy of no baby. I never said anything to that sort. This whole thing is getting twisted really bad. I simply just said if me and her work out I would treat the child as mine.
[Edited 12/28/2007 11:59:01 AM]
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| 12/28/2007 12:07:34 PM |
Well I knew it was bound to happen |
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sumbeach763
Raeford, NC
age: 44
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Hey from what ive read so far she sounds like a con to me, they try all kids of crap .... will make you think they sre in your home town, they work in groups to make it more real.... Ive got there damn ticket man... thats what it sounds like to me...
never give out your addy to anyone at all.... they can get SSN and everthing about you... they are good at their art, believe me on this one... and if she is married she in my opionion is doing a wrong thing, so many people on this site that are real to themsleves and are havening such a very hard time finding someone, then you have these fake ass people jurking us around playing on our love and hearts , assholes is what they are .... if you have seconds thoughts on this LISTEN !!!!!!!! your right on it .....
and this is JMO........ beach.........
[Edited 12/28/2007 12:08:34 PM]
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| 12/28/2007 12:15:43 PM |
Well I knew it was bound to happen |
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gabisanic
Pleasant Hill, CA
age: 50
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Once your name is on that certificate you are responsible for that child legally. I am with harley... you need to slow down, step back and regroup.
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| 12/28/2007 12:18:14 PM |
Well I knew it was bound to happen |
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syndrome1980
Winston Salem, NC
age: 27
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Last time, I am taking it slow. People please read the entire thing. I have stated numerous times, I AM TAKING IT SLOW. I'm not putting my name on anything. I said IF me and her work out. I thought this was a dating site.
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| 12/28/2007 12:21:09 PM |
Well I knew it was bound to happen |
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gabisanic
Pleasant Hill, CA
age: 50
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Then go SLOWER than slow... you asked, we are trying to help you here
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| 12/28/2007 12:23:52 PM |
Well I knew it was bound to happen |
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syndrome1980
Winston Salem, NC
age: 27
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No I did not ask. It was a general post in this forum about an experience I had. I did not state one time for advice, or my words getting twisted. This is supposed to be a dating site, that is what I am doing is trying to find someone. I never said I was in love her, I just said I met her on here, and so far from what I know she is really sweet. I have also said that I am going to "TRY" to meet her in person bc that is when you can get the lowdown on the real person.
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| 12/28/2007 12:29:18 PM |
Well I knew it was bound to happen |
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gabisanic
Pleasant Hill, CA
age: 50
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OK, you are 27 years old, obviously know what you are doing (not), so best of luck with the college fund. The moment you post, you are asking for opinions and you should take them for what they are... opinions. No need to get upset. If you think she is worth getting to know, by all means try and do so. If you find that she is all you hope for, by all means try to date her. If by all means she turns out to be a great woman and you can see yourself married to her, them go ahead and then adopt her child. Just keep your eyes open and be watchful. That is all. Best of luck to you, really!
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| 12/28/2007 12:32:26 PM |
Well I knew it was bound to happen |
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syndrome1980
Winston Salem, NC
age: 27
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Dude I know what I am doing. I'm tired of trying with relationships, so my profile is invisible on here. All I said was that me and her are talking. I'm not asking her to marry me or even date me. I have not met her. And I will get defensive when everyone tries to make it out like I some dumb kid. Which is an insult. Read every post I made and it is trying to keep everyone from twisting it.
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| 12/28/2007 12:34:11 PM |
Well I knew it was bound to happen |
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dutchboy4u
Huntington Beach, CA
age: 44 online now!
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Hey SYN, Reread the posts by PARIS ans EMT. Sounds like you are going to do what you are going to do. You are a man and that is your prerogative. It's your life and you need to live it your way.
Please enter this with a clear mind. This may be a SCAM. These people are professionals and they scam and con people like you and me everyday. DO NOT SEND THEM ANY MONEY OR ANY PERSONAL INFORMATION. GO BUY A CHEAP PAY BY THE MINUTE PHONE IF YOU INTEND TO CONTACT THIS PERSON. DO NOT GIVE THEM YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS. I'M SEEING TOO MANY RED FLAGS ON THIS WHOLE DEAL.
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| 12/28/2007 12:35:55 PM |
Well I knew it was bound to happen |
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gabisanic
Pleasant Hill, CA
age: 50
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Thank you dutch
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| 12/28/2007 12:37:13 PM |
Well I knew it was bound to happen |
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syndrome1980
Winston Salem, NC
age: 27
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Everyonme has my email addy. I'm not scared of anything that can be done to me online. Trust me I know my ways around just about everything online. If I call her my number will be blocked. She gave me her number and I never did ask for it. All I am saying is i'm not doing anything but talking to her.
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| 12/28/2007 1:08:26 PM |
Well I knew it was bound to happen |
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woman1031
Hanover, PA
age: 48
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(syndrome) What you thought and what you get out of this site are two different things. Continue to be yourself and do not get caught up in the drama of some people. We are here to find a date, but sometimes we find a liar.
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