| 12/29/2007 7:14:33 AM |
Advice? - What would you do? |
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waytogo51
Prairie Grove, AR
age: 51
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You need to talk to her commander and let him/her know whats going on. She needs help bad, and by not saying anything is not going to help her or you and your child.
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| 12/29/2007 7:19:43 AM |
Advice? - What would you do? |
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lovelaughing4u
Parker, CO
age: 42
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My best friend married a man with a 4 small children that their mother had abandoned for a life of PARTY hard. They got the best most loving giving mother and father because thier dad married a woman who wanted to be a MOM. You don't have to give birth to be a mother -- you have to love with your whole heart. Let her know what you are thinking give her a chance to get counseling and have only supervised visitation (FLIGHT RISK) and love that little girl as with all of your heart.
Good luck.
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| 12/29/2007 7:20:01 AM |
Advice? - What would you do? |
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amy021780
Omaha, NE
age: 27
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Ok - I would say - tell your wife that either you get full custody of your daughter or you air her dirty laundry. That is usually enough to ensure what you want out of it. The most important thing is the safety and stability for the child. If she can't agree to giving you full custody - then you need to make sure you get it by any means necessary. Women like this can't get away with everything. It sucks that she put you through that - and really sucks that she couldn't control herself for the sake of your child together.
Good luck.
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| 12/29/2007 7:22:04 AM |
Advice? - What would you do? |
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steak_king
Whitmore Lake, MI
age: 50
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C'mon, she held a knife to her moms throat and you want her to be around youself, much less your daughter? Think dude, think!
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| 12/29/2007 7:36:25 AM |
Advice? - What would you do? |
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tnquality
Union City, TN
age: 32
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go on and dont worry bout her.thats her life and she doesnt want you in it sounds like.i raised my daughter by myself.you can do it.think bout yourself and your daughter.you are young.things will get better and get full custody and make her ass pay childsupport.
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| 12/29/2007 7:43:04 AM |
Advice? - What would you do? |
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kgearly1021
Valdosta, GA
age: 47
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Take your child and let mom go, no matter what feelings you may or may not have for the mother, do what is best for your child, right now. After things get settled, and I am talking couple of years or so,then if you still have feelings for the mother, then you and she can always get back together. But your daughter does not need these kinds of influences in her life and it is better if you leave while she is young.
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| 12/29/2007 7:47:17 AM |
Advice? - What would you do? |
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wonderturtle
Overland Park, KS
age: 41 online now!
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it may feel like spite to report her to the CO. but it is the ultimate act of love..to get help for someone who is unable to see that they need help badly. Yes she will lose her career..but f*ckin her recruiter doesnt sound like she was serious about the career either..just serious about skipping town without paying the consequences of holding a knife to her mother's throat.
Get her help and take your child far away..if/when your wife gets the help she needs..she may one day in the future thank you for what you have done..
In the very least ..take care of you and your daughter...the wife will either keep doing what she is doing..or will seek help. My guess is she will keep doing what she is doing..drugs impair the brain..block memories and feelings..she keeps drowning any feelings she may have..
So yes..you may love her..but the person you love isnt there anymore..time to move on.
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| 12/29/2007 7:49:34 AM |
Advice? - What would you do? |
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bigdaddy86
Carbondale, IL
age: 23 online now!
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Wow..alot of of you seem to be confused on one thing. I don't want my wife back. I would never take her back. I would never even think about her again if it wasn't for our daughter. It's not my wife's feelings I'm concerned about. It's denying my daughter the chance to know her mother that I don't want to do. I grew up without a mother as well and I would never wish that on anyone..let alone my own child.
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| 12/29/2007 7:51:19 AM |
Advice? - What would you do? |
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steak_king
Whitmore Lake, MI
age: 50
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Back to the knife thing, I rest my case!
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| 12/29/2007 7:54:20 AM |
Advice? - What would you do? |
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kgearly1021
Valdosta, GA
age: 47
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I raised 4 wonderful children mostly by myself, and you couldn't ask for any better. Leave now while she is young and she will be fine.
Wouldn't you rather your daughter have a peaceful existence than to have turmoil in her life all the time? Wouldn't you rather her have 1 parent who loves her and they live in peace, than to have two parents and there be hell all the time?
God did not mean for little children to suffer.
Good Luck.
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| 12/29/2007 3:17:32 PM |
Advice? - What would you do? |
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writerman57
Jacksonville, FL
age: 57
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Having been in the military, I STRONGLY URGE YOU TO TALK TO HER COMMANDER AND FILL OUT AN AFFIDAVIT. You also want to file a complaint with what is called the Judge Advocate General. You also want to talk to the base psych department and give them all of the details. It is imperative to get this all down in writing early. He who has the most documentation wins. Protecting your daughter is paramount. Be strong, if you don't do this, you could get shafted and lose your daughter. They will give her what is called "supervised visitation"
Feel free to email me directly on this if you choose.
John
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| 12/29/2007 3:23:27 PM |
Advice? - What would you do? |
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weaimtoplease
Donalsonville, GA
age: 58 online now!
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I understand that you don't want your wife back...but you also don't want your daughter hurt (mentally or physically). Run, don't walk, to a very good divorce attorney. Give him ALL of the facts including anything that your wife may know about you that could hurt your chances of getting full custody of your daughter. Divorce laws vary from state to state so let him guide you as to whether to go to her CO or not. And if you don't do anything else, make sure your wife gets only supervised visits with your daugther. Good Luck!!
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| 12/29/2007 3:26:08 PM |
Advice? - What would you do? |
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bigdaddy86
Carbondale, IL
age: 23 online now!
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Another question..I know I should go to an attorney. The only reason I haven't is because I've been so torn on this that I don't want to waste the money just to "talk."
We were married in Texas, and my daughter and I have since moved back to Illinois. Do I have to speak to a lawyer in Texas? Or can I go to any lawyer around here?
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| 12/29/2007 3:50:20 PM |
Advice? - What would you do? |
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iloveboxers
Somerset, KY
age: 40 online now!
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you can go to any lawyer where you have been a resident for at least 160 days. thats considered a resident.
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| 12/29/2007 3:52:46 PM |
Advice? - What would you do? |
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nopretense
Harleysville, PA
age: 47
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I strongly suggest you take some of these questions to another message board:
http://www1.divorcenet.com/bbs/ubbthreads.php
They have a section on Military issues, a section for each state, father's rights, custody, everything.
Writerman is a smart guy and sounds like he has some relevant experience, go ahead and tap into that as well.
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