| 12/29/2009 12:31:42 AM |
Thought for the Day | Page 2 |
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celticdelight
South Jordan, UT
49, joined Dec. 2008
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In the day it was probally the best way to get a true core temperature,
Still the best way to get a true core temperature. If you ever get examined by a coroner, guess what they might do to help determine time of death? Eh, c'mon, what will you care? you'll be dead!
Now days, I recommend the forehead thermometers. They aren't exact to the second decimal place, but they are pretty damn close, and definitely good enough to determine a fever. And, for the average user, more accurate than the ear ones.
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 12/29/2009 12:32:47 AM |
Thought for the Day | Page 2 |
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artdude42
New Carlisle, IN
51, joined Dec. 2008
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this is true, we're just men, you can't expect miricles
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| 12/29/2009 12:36:39 AM |
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safetyglrl
Syracuse, UT
58, joined Oct. 2008
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I just love it when people know their limitations and aren't afraid to admit them. 
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| 12/29/2009 12:41:00 AM |
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artdude42
New Carlisle, IN
51, joined Dec. 2008
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i cannot tell a lie, look how long it took me to get here LOL
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| 12/29/2009 12:42:05 AM |
Thought for the Day | Page 2 |
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safetyglrl
Syracuse, UT
58, joined Oct. 2008
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We were all new once 
You certainly deserve a little slack.
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| 12/29/2009 1:02:23 AM |
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artdude42
New Carlisle, IN
51, joined Dec. 2008
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well thank you, after I'm on here enough I'll get the hang of it.
[Edited 12/29/2009 1:04:03 AM ]
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| 12/29/2009 5:15:05 AM |
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joy1dr
Las Vegas, NV
59, joined Jan. 2009
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New Year’s Reflections
Looking back on the months gone by,
As a new year starts and an old one ends,
We contemplate what brought us joy,
And we think of our loved ones and our friends.
Recalling all the happy times,
Remembering how they enriched our lives,
We reflect upon who really counts,
As the fresh and bright new year arrives.
And when I ponder those who do,
I immediately think of you.
Thanks for being one of the reasons I'll have a Happy New Year! 
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| 12/29/2009 5:48:11 AM |
Thought for the Day | Page 2 |
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mick84404
Ogden, UT
53, joined Jun. 2009
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I was editing a video for my dad, O/W.  I am rarely idle when I am here. Firm believer in multitasking, Something that is foreign to some of you guys. 
Wow!! Multitasking, what is that ? BTW, whats wrong with us, foreigners? J/K
My dad always told me "it better to be a Smart $ then a Dumb $" So, Here's my Sign!
I might be a day late, but never short changed.. Besides I dont keep up on half the BS
of this site, some of it can be humorous but it can also be insulting to others. JMO
Had to do it, couldn't  it, my twin, made me 
My Bad!!! off topic  
Can't wait for a New Year! maybe things will change? but then probably NOT!
Much like AOL Drama Club... Except this is free, to voice yourself
what do I know ?  cause JMO really doesnt matter, only to myself
Good Luck to all and all a Happy New Year!! Say good Night 
[Edited 12/29/2009 6:16:17 AM ]
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| 12/29/2009 9:02:26 AM |
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mick84404
Ogden, UT
53, joined Jun. 2009
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must be blocked ..sure wont let me edit oh well !
[Edited 12/29/2009 9:05:59 AM ]
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| 12/29/2009 9:25:13 AM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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Hey Mick it's my thread and I haven't blocked you. Must be another problem.
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| 12/29/2009 9:50:19 AM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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This reminds me of a conversation I was having with a friend the other day;
A farmer goes in to see an attorney;
The attorney asked, "May I help you?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce's."
The attorney said, "well do you have any grounds?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres."
The attorney said, " No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?"
The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John
Deere."
The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays."
The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."
Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. "WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"
And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."
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| 12/29/2009 3:17:52 PM |
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mick84404
Ogden, UT
53, joined Jun. 2009
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alright, Thanks O/W .. sorry that I had assumed things .. should of realized DH does have its problems and quirks at times.. Have a good one.. Back to Topic
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| 12/29/2009 3:38:42 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Jackson to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.
The Redneck says, “I want my $20 million.”
The man replied, “No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today and then you’ll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.”
The Redneck said, “Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it.”
Again, the man explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.
The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, “Look, I want my money! If you’re not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!”
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| 12/29/2009 3:48:18 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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[URL=http://entertainment.webshots.com/photo/2933617480000490774zTDwWU] [/URL]
[Edited 12/29/2009 3:50:00 PM ]
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| 12/29/2009 4:03:09 PM |
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utahgal1
Ogden, UT
58, joined Dec. 2008
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A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Jackson to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.
The Redneck says, “I want my $20 million.”
The man replied, “No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today and then you’ll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.”
The Redneck said, “Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it.”
Again, the man explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.
The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, “Look, I want my money! If you’re not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!”
Hmmm, who does that remind me of???
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| 12/29/2009 5:53:15 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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Sounds like you've dated a few rednecks.............????????
[Edited 12/29/2009 5:53:33 PM ]
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| 12/29/2009 6:07:38 PM |
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utahgal1
Ogden, UT
58, joined Dec. 2008
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Oh, such cute comback, O/W. Fine, I'll give it to you............this time.
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| 12/29/2009 10:29:13 PM |
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celticdelight
South Jordan, UT
49, joined Dec. 2008
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| 12/29/2009 11:35:40 PM |
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utahgal1
Ogden, UT
58, joined Dec. 2008
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Celtic!!! It's funny that I told my daughter tonight that this is surely going to happen NOW!!! How ironic.
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| 12/29/2009 11:45:06 PM |
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melting_pot
Cokeville, WY
58, joined Sep. 2009
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I would say the bad guys have won. They have Americans trapped in their seats, peeing in bottles. And to top it off they are taking away our gadgets...yep we lost.
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| 12/30/2009 12:08:18 AM |
Thought for the Day | Page 2 |
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mtnmixer
Ogden, UT
58, joined Mar. 2009
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So the crotch bomber failed to bring down the plane. Maybe the problem was his choice of underwear. His whitie tities should have been Fruit of the Boom!!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! I made that up. I'm so darn funny some times. I just kill myself.
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| 12/30/2009 1:10:04 AM |
Thought for the Day | Page 2 |
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linlou421
Morgan, UT
52, joined Sep. 2008
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Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
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| 12/30/2009 1:27:23 AM |
Thought for the Day | Page 2 |
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wm56
Salt Lake City, UT
61, joined Dec. 2007
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 your spelling is bad.
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| 12/30/2009 2:15:50 AM |
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laugh_lines
Ogden, UT
59, joined Nov. 2009
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I heard this before and it's absolutely true. I can read every word.
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| 12/30/2009 2:48:13 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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Patient: It isn't possible that I'm as overweight as you say I am.
Doctor: Maybe you would prefer to look at it in a different way. According to this chart, you're about 10 inches too short! 
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| 12/30/2009 2:51:14 PM |
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safetyglrl
Syracuse, UT
58, joined Oct. 2008
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Let go of your concerns about what you could have done or should have done. Look instead at your many opportunities for doing the right thing now. If your regrets about the past are painful, then allow those regrets to teach and motivate you. In this moment you can take valuable lessons you've learned and move forward with them. Though the past may indeed hold some regrets, you have something much more powerful.... You have Today!!!
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| 12/31/2009 8:40:32 AM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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Ode To The New Year
'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared; The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese And the way I'd never said, 'No thank you, please.'
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt And prepared once again to do battle with dirt - I said to myself, as I only can 'You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!'
So - away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished 'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie - not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
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| 1/1/2010 5:13:35 PM |
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safetyglrl
Syracuse, UT
58, joined Oct. 2008
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You wouldn't worry about what people think about you, if you knew how seldom they did.
You can't change what you don't acknowledge.
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| 1/2/2010 8:35:33 PM |
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artdude42
New Carlisle, IN
51, joined Dec. 2008
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Topendstuff,
Your one liners on Christmas Eve were pretty good, do you have any anymore
[Edited 1/2/2010 8:39:09 PM ]
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| 1/3/2010 1:20:45 AM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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No need for New Year Resolutions:
It's like magic. When you live by yourself, all your annoying habits are gone!
[Edited 1/3/2010 1:21:39 AM ]
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| 1/3/2010 1:22:13 AM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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I kinda like this one;
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink
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| 1/3/2010 1:22:43 AM |
Thought for the Day | Page 2 |
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laugh_lines
Ogden, UT
59, joined Nov. 2009
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No need for New Year Resolutions:
It's like magic. When you live by yourself, all your annoying habits are gone!
One of my favorite things about living alone
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| 1/3/2010 10:36:24 AM |
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nowwhat9
Ogden, UT
58, joined Sep. 2009
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| 1/3/2010 1:28:41 PM |
Thought for the Day | Page 2 |
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celticdelight
South Jordan, UT
49, joined Dec. 2008
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I kinda like this one;
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink
As long as you wash your hands, all the residue should be rinsed out.
I'm expecting at least a half-dozen "EW!"s to go along with that.
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| 1/3/2010 2:00:36 PM |
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laugh_lines
Ogden, UT
59, joined Nov. 2009
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Ok ... eeeewwwwww!! 
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| 1/3/2010 8:59:23 PM |
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topendstuff
Eden, UT
61, joined May. 2007
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Don't matter which way it happens, as long as it gets done? Er could it be the opposite gender is mad cuz it is too much a struggle for them that way?
For what I do.....most of the time "potties" are not avialiable???????
So to take a chance of getting a sty in your eye try the road out for size..... and maybe a ticket and a free night in the slammer! My luck would be that "potty" didn't work either!!!!
Oh yeah one other place (cuz all of these aren't working) my pants!
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| 1/4/2010 12:26:52 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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I always loved Proverbs so here are a couple of gems from the Old Testament:
27:15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentous woman are alike.
21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentous and an angry woman.
For some reason I think the author had much experience on the subject and gives wise counsel.
[Edited 1/4/2010 12:27:37 PM ]
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| 1/6/2010 12:56:59 PM |
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topendstuff
Eden, UT
61, joined May. 2007
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Old Farmer's Advice:
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
Don't judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life.. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around..
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
--
Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight,
he'll just kill you.
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| 1/6/2010 2:07:32 PM |
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joy1dr
Las Vegas, NV
59, joined Jan. 2009
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Life is to short
to wake up in the morining with regrets.
so love the people who treat you right,
forgive about the ones who don't
and believe that everything
happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it.
If it changes your life, let it.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said that it'd be easy,
they just promised
it would be worth it.
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| 1/6/2010 3:15:41 PM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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That was a nice list Topend.
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| 1/6/2010 6:55:14 PM |
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laugh_lines
Ogden, UT
59, joined Nov. 2009
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'Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment. '
Ain't dat da truth! 
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| 1/7/2010 12:58:58 AM |
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lompoc_surfer
Layton, UT
44, joined Dec. 2009
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Glad to be home. Lucky me got a speeding ticket in Fillmore. 
California was WARM! Then I come home to this? 
Oh well, glad to be home...
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| 1/7/2010 7:15:39 AM |
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86wing
Salt Lake City, UT
63, joined Oct. 2009
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My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
let's see if it wants to go for best 2 out of 3
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| 1/7/2010 12:20:13 PM |
Thought for the Day | Page 2 |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
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| 1/7/2010 12:44:04 PM |
Thought for the Day | Page 2 |
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spracer_117
Bountiful, UT
70, joined Jan. 2009
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......... if a man is standing alone in a forest and is speaking, but there is no woman to hear him...
Is he still wrong ?
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| 1/7/2010 6:11:26 PM |
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salmouse
Salt Lake City, UT
66, joined Jul. 2009
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Probably.
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| 1/7/2010 6:49:19 PM |
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csp911
Glendale, AZ
61, joined Sep. 2008
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| 1/7/2010 8:22:40 PM |
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utahgal1
Ogden, UT
58, joined Dec. 2008
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I borrowed this from a friend.........with her permission to use this to remind how wonderfully important women/mothers are these days.
*****************************************************
A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk 's office, was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation
She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
"What I mean is," explained the recorder, "Do you have a job or are you just a ....?"
"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman.
"I'm a Mom."
"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'Housewife' covers it,” said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."
"What is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it? I do not know…the words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right.
I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) In the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."
Motherhood!
What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door…
Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations"
And great grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates?" I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants
I am ALL of the above except an Executive Senior Research Associate...............How about you????
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| 1/7/2010 8:28:05 PM |
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tazz10555
Sandy, UT
61, joined Aug. 2009
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Carfull? You will gwt your own parking spot at walgreens
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| 1/7/2010 9:01:31 PM |
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csp911
Glendale, AZ
61, joined Sep. 2008
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Hey...watch it Tazz... NO ONE get's their own parking space at Walgreens before I do!
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| 1/7/2010 9:32:58 PM |
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safetyglrl
Syracuse, UT
58, joined Oct. 2008
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You have the gift of free will,
Before making a hasty choice...be still.
Allow your inner being to be your guide,
To the magnificence you hold inside.
~Iveta
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| 1/7/2010 9:53:11 PM |
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csp911
Glendale, AZ
61, joined Sep. 2008
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Learning to be still, is a hard lesson to learn. But it has helped me in so many areas, as well as helped made some choices easier for me. Good suggestion, Safety! JMO
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| 1/7/2010 10:14:01 PM |
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salmouse
Salt Lake City, UT
66, joined Jul. 2009
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If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was.
Anonymous
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| 1/10/2010 2:49:14 AM |
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gypsiegirly
Provo, UT
51, joined Nov. 2008
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here is a email I got I think it is appropriate for this post
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MY LIVING WILL
Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to
them, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine
and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'
They got up, unplugged my Computer, and threw out my beer.
Sometimes kids can be such asses...
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| 1/10/2010 3:04:19 AM |
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just_ct
Rome, GA
58, joined Sep. 2009
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If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was.
Anonymous
The southern version....
If you love something, set it free...
If it comes back it's yours...
If it doesn't... Hunt it down and kill it.
BBQ tomorrow ya'll.
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| 1/10/2010 9:16:39 AM |
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safetyglrl
Syracuse, UT
58, joined Oct. 2008
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Everything is ok in the end. If it is not ok, it's not the end.
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| 1/10/2010 9:41:48 AM |
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older_wiser
Orem, UT
63, joined Dec. 2008
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Although, so far there's no known treatment for death's crippling effects, still everyone can acquaint himself with the three early warning signs of death: one, rigor mortis; two, a rotting smell; three, occasional drowsiness.
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| 1/10/2010 6:41:14 PM |
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utahgal1
Ogden, UT
58, joined Dec. 2008
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Today despite the freezing cold weather, there were many old friends who braved the bitter wind and came to the coffee shop to chat and exchange views.
Ravened Robbie a retired, self-anointed, self-styled, preacher was espousing his biblical views on the subject of relationship.
“Before, you can love someone, you must first love yourself,” he said.
“What the fawck, you are talking about?” yelled Curmudgeonly Clark. “I’m so sick and tired of listening to your bullshhit! What does it mean to love yourself?”
“Well,” said Reverend Robbie. “If you love yourself, then you do things that are good for you.”
“Ok,” said curmudgeonly Clark. “Now, I’m going to do something that is very good for me. I’m going to get up, walk over to you, put my hands around your neck, and shut you up forever, so that I would never have to listen to your bullshhit again.”
It COULD happen to you..........tsk, tsk.
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| 1/10/2010 6:48:00 PM |
Thought for the Day | Page 2 |
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utahgal1
Ogden, UT
58, joined Dec. 2008
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She got out of her car at the local Wally's and headed for the "Pharmacy" entrance. A slim attractive senior lady with perfectly coiffed hair, makeup learned at the counter at Macy's and clothing NOT purchased at Wally's. He was sitting there on the pharmacy bench, a great rugged handsome man, a Jack Hannah type, She sat down beside him and in a moment or two, he leaned forward and asked,"Have you an extra cigarette?". "Oh I dont smoke" she replied. With a wide grin he said "You Passed! That's my opening line"She smiled in spite of herself. They began a conversation, or rather he began a conversation about his brand new RV that he had bought, that was in the parking lot, and how proud of it he was. "Bursting with pride",he said. They picked up their meds and started for the door. May I show you my "Rig"? it's right outside? and sure enough there it was, gorgeous, expensive, top o the line.He got in and pulled himself into the seat while she shyly tried to get a look from the pavement. He motioned her up but at that moment something warned her off. "She said, "Not right now, I have to be somewhere else," His smile widened as he abruplty shut the door and shouted,"OOps you failed!" and turned away from her to start the engine. She headed to her car several rows over, keys in hand. The roar of the RV's motor was loud as she keyed it from one end to the other. when she arrived at her car she turned to see the big motor home heading out onto the roadway. She smiled to herself....
Ha, ha!
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| 1/10/2010 11:36:54 PM |
Thought for the Day | Page 2 |
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smooches2k
Park City, UT
34, joined Dec. 2009
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The southern version....
If you love something, set it free...
If it comes back it's yours...
If it doesn't... Hunt it down and kill it.
BBQ tomorrow ya'll.
I love it!
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