12/30/2007 4:04:44 PM |
how do you react when having a debate with someone you love? |
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busymanfour
Harrisonburg, VA
age: 50
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I have seen some people walk out, they say they have to clear their thoughts, some get verbally loud and aggressive..
I used to walk out, but found that although it works for me it wasnt good for my partner at the time...so I learned to control my self and learn to talk things out before they built up to the point that I had to walk...
Question: How do you handle yourself when in the "debate"?
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12/30/2007 4:18:39 PM |
how do you react when having a debate with someone you love? |
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heatherhoney
Middlesboro, KY
age: 50
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I used to be a walker...till I took that walk and then I kept forgetting what we were debating about...
Hey on second thought...that could be a good thing...
On a serious note though (and yes, I can be serious)
I usually read my partner's behavior and ...if he needs to walk for a bit...that's OK I'll suggest it...as long as we can agree to come back and talk later (at a set time).
I have a big problem though trying to discuss issues if he is angry (I tend to get on the defensive if I'm put there)...so I will wanna take that walk and let him cool off.
The key I think is spotting issues that may lead to angry feelings and trying to discuss them before and in ways that would prevent it from getting bad enough that someone would need to take a walk.
Now that I've said all this...I need a walk...
[Edited 12/30/2007 4:23:22 PM]
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12/30/2007 4:50:59 PM |
how do you react when having a debate with someone you love? |
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ericr64
Mount Pleasant, MI
age: 43
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I try to be as rational as possible and if I feel I am losing the debate, I punch them in the nose.
I found that if the debate consisted of me trying to perswade someone to see things my way, and it was a big struggle to do so. That they really felt the same way even if just subconciencely and stress would show up because of it later. Sometimes it's better to agree to disagree.
[Edited 12/30/2007 4:54:36 PM]
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12/30/2007 4:52:05 PM |
how do you react when having a debate with someone you love? |
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mag11
New Port Richey, FL
age: 39
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Never walk out thats the worst thing u can do!
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12/30/2007 4:55:11 PM |
how do you react when having a debate with someone you love? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34
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I agree walking out is a sign of disrespect.
I try to handle things with respect, yet standing by my views if they are right and show the my significant other why something is the way it is etc... I also let the person talk without interupting and if she has a good point, I will acknowlege it. We talk until we come to a solution and compromise if needed. That's the best way. Walking out, shouting, any form of disrepect only makes things worse fast.
[Edited 12/30/2007 4:55:55 PM]
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12/30/2007 4:56:41 PM |
how do you react when having a debate with someone you love? |
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thenewme
New Castle, PA
age: 44
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I hate it when someone walks out on me in the middle of a "debate". I want both sides
to be heard. I lkike to get it all out and come to an agreement or just agree to disagree. Then a nice hug and make up. Ok maybe a little morre than a hug
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12/30/2007 4:58:34 PM |
how do you react when having a debate with someone you love? |
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ericr64
Mount Pleasant, MI
age: 43
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I like to state my side then put my hands over my ears and run like hell.
I like the way you argue newme....want to fight just let me know.
[Edited 12/30/2007 5:07:33 PM]
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12/30/2007 5:15:50 PM |
how do you react when having a debate with someone you love? |
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weaimtoplease
Donalsonville, GA
age: 58
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My husband "walked out" on all of our debates which just meant the debate started again a couple of days later because nothing was settled. This may be why I still have issues after he died = there were so many things never completed. Take the time to talk it out and settle things it's the only way to put closure to the issues IMHO.
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12/30/2007 5:20:08 PM |
how do you react when having a debate with someone you love? |
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butterfly58
Arcadia, MO
age: 58
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I guess I'm a walker or if I'm really really angry, I will refuse to talk about it until I do calm down and think rationally about it. I always tell the person I'm in a relationship with..."Don't worry about an occassional outburst; worry about when I'm deathly silent"
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12/30/2007 5:22:58 PM |
how do you react when having a debate with someone you love? |
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mrfree
Asheboro, NC
age: 41
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sometimes someone has to walk away if it is not going any wheres on the debate before it gets to the point of being physical
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12/30/2007 5:38:45 PM |
how do you react when having a debate with someone you love? |
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bell427
Loranger, LA
age: 63
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We all have our relationship rules or ideas how we should act in "debate" situations. I say pick your battles having first set the battle ground rules.
Some have been brought up to think "walking out" is disrespect and some to think the "walking" is allowing them space- so ya gotta know the rules upfront.
One friend of mine refuses to let a debate go past 48 hours.
Ideally you each play the mutually set rules and don't get caught up with "ya, well, back in 1983 you did this and that and you never listen to anything I say....." Damminit, please just stay on topic. Fight fair-clear the air
So I try to get to know my partner's core values and let her know mine- this seems to make the inevitable debates go a little smoother
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12/30/2007 5:50:40 PM |
how do you react when having a debate with someone you love? |
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recluse
Greenville, SC
age: 58
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Sometimes it's better to breathe for a few minutes and let your thoughts settle before continuing a debate. But it's better for the ones involved to have an understanding beforehand that they respect each other's rights to do so.
Then, if they still can't come to a resolution, they will usually have more respect for each other's opinions . . . and the the debate is still open at some future date.
[Edited 12/30/2007 5:51:26 PM]
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12/30/2007 5:53:52 PM |
how do you react when having a debate with someone you love? |
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drummrboy
Belmont, MA
age: 43
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I was told to walk away from an argument if I was to get really upset. But I've had an x or 2 that went absolutely off the hook when I walked away. When I explained why I was walking away, the pitch in their voices was so high, that neighbors dogs came from everywhere. I've learned my lesson. Just stand there and take the assault, and hope that after the outburst, they can calm down and discuss the issue rationally.
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12/30/2007 6:24:13 PM |
how do you react when having a debate with someone you love? |
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chopperbabe
Selah, WA
age: 46
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I listen and then form my opinion without using words that I cannot take back.
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12/30/2007 6:26:58 PM |
how do you react when having a debate with someone you love? |
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darthlaidher
Knoxville, TN
age: 25
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i state my opinion and then listen to theirs and then tellem their wrong and then when they get pissed off i just tellem they win so i dont have to hear them pissed off and then i grab me somethin to eat and go watch some tv lol.
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