Dating people with disability

5/31/2010 6:00:33 AM	Dating people with disability
fishingmom Lake Alfred, FL age: 56	welcome to all! Was reading back, and have to agree about being called 'disabled'. You can disable a machine so it stops running, I still get around, a lot slower than before though. So Im more of a turtle than a hare, SO WHAT??? I DO get to where Im going. People who know me, know that I can go the distance and when I say OK time to sit, I rest about 10 minutes and good to go again. Slower, but I go. Guy I see occasionally knows my back problems, sees me start dragging behind and says, Need to rest granny? Makes me laugh cus I know he understands that I can keep up but periodically have to sit. I gave up holding his hand when I drag behind because its like pulling dead weight.. LOL but I catch up. I guess its all in how you look at it, and if someone can make you smile about your 'turtleness' then laugh and enjoy the day, I do. Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
5/31/2010 6:03:39 AM	Dating people with disability
captainjul1 Columbus, OH age: 51	im reading these posts , when new people come in here do they read that this is swd group, its like they jump in and judge what is being said without knowing who we are, i cant walk so i know how it feels i have alot of other issues as well , had to get that off my chest .
5/31/2010 6:06:36 AM	Dating people with disability
fishingmom Lake Alfred, FL age: 56	hey jul... hope you realize I was talking ONLY of myself.. so many here have different stories, and I can respect that... but I was just talking of myself. Hope I didnt offend you
5/31/2010 6:09:52 AM	Dating people with disability
captainjul1 Columbus, OH age: 51	no fishing, i was refering to new ones that drop in and get affended at what is being said. i know you was not talking to me , i posted this the same time you did , silly
5/31/2010 6:12:46 AM	Dating people with disability
captainjul1 Columbus, OH age: 51	fishing , i can relate to the walking slow part , before i totally lost all my walking ability i was the same way , ok time to rest or i will sit you shop its all good.
5/31/2010 6:13:01 AM	Dating people with disability
fishingmom Lake Alfred, FL age: 56	Oh, phewwwwwwww good, I would NEVER do anything to purposely upset you or anyone here. If I ever do, send me a message and I will make a public apology. Sometimes my fingers DO work faster than my brain..
5/31/2010 3:05:46 PM	Dating people with disability
sweety20072007 Arlington, TX age: 21	i no what you mean its all true . i love how i am no one can change it i fill free because of how i am to day in my life is just me . lol
6/1/2010 6:03:42 PM	Dating people with disability
blyndndef Harrisburg, PA age: 36	What??? I don't and haven't ever and doubt i will...see any disabled people in here....
6/1/2010 6:44:11 PM	Dating people with disability
captainjul1 Columbus, OH age: 51	Quote from blyndndef: What??? I don't and haven't ever and doubt i will...see any disabled people in here.... great out look on life there we all have them walking is mine.
6/1/2010 8:51:23 PM	Dating people with disability
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55	Yes, we do. I have a history of emotional problems and would not date someone who was so closed minded.
6/2/2010 10:39:15 AM	Dating people with disability
dancingdahlia Eugene, OR age: 63	Has anyone here signed up at the disabled singles sites? I find those places are almost more discriminatory than the regular sites. Maybe it's just my extreme limitations with Chronic Fatigue and Multiple Chemical Sensitivities. I really need a distance relationship or pen pal, and that is very hard to find, even among other disableds. Those who can go out are looking for someone to go out with. I think housebound people need our own singles websites, but no one ever opens one. I had a marvelous distance relationship for a while in the 90s. He was a stroke survivor and couldn't travel at all, and didn't get out much locally. It was great for both of us, and we were at opposite ends of the country. He passed away in 1999, and I haven't found another person yet who is looking for the same thing, but there must be people somewhere??
6/2/2010 12:14:32 PM	Dating people with disability
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Quote from dancingdahlia: Has anyone here signed up at the disabled singles sites? I find those places are almost more discriminatory than the regular sites. Maybe it's just my extreme limitations with Chronic Fatigue and Multiple Chemical Sensitivities. I really need a distance relationship or pen pal, and that is very hard to find, even among other disableds. Those who can go out are looking for someone to go out with. I think housebound people need our own singles websites, but no one ever opens one. I had a marvelous distance relationship for a while in the 90s. He was a stroke survivor and couldn't travel at all, and didn't get out much locally. It was great for both of us, and we were at opposite ends of the country. He passed away in 1999, and I haven't found another person yet who is looking for the same thing, but there must be people somewhere?? I refuse to be limited to one place for whatever reason because it sounds a bit labeling statement Whites only, Disabled sites, etc.. It's so sterotyping, my opinion only. I like to welcome you, Dancing.........to SWD. There are a bunch of wonderful and supportive group. Participate as you have been........and, we'll have you laughing in no time over silliest things.
6/2/2010 12:32:07 PM	Dating people with disability
dancingdahlia Eugene, OR age: 63	It's definitely a niche market, but a necessary one for people who are this limited. There must be a lot of people out there who don't have to be so alone if only there was a way to connect them together for distance relationships, etc. I don't even look at it as stereotyping, I think of it as accommodation.
6/2/2010 4:32:13 PM	Dating people with disability
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Quote from dancingdahlia: It's definitely a niche market, but a necessary one for people who are this limited. There must be a lot of people out there who don't have to be so alone if only there was a way to connect them together for distance relationships, etc. I don't even look at it as stereotyping, I think of it as accommodation. Thanks, Dancing........explain this to me since I'm a bit confused. How is it an accomodation? Seriously, I don't know.......
6/5/2010 2:25:44 AM	Dating people with disability
hotrod3300 Altoona, PA age: 67	People with disabilies are super great people! My one friend is physically challenged! He told me one day "we put our pants on like a able bodied person but, alittle slower".
6/5/2010 4:30:23 AM	Dating people with disability
lakelaunch Virginia Beach, VA age: 63	Quote from hotrod3300: People with disabilies are super great people! My one friend is physically challenged! He told me one day "we put our pants on like a able bodied person but, alittle slower". I've always heard that slow and steady wins the race! Good point, hotrod!
6/5/2010 8:24:00 AM	Dating people with disability
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50
6/5/2010 9:22:36 AM	Dating people with disability
captainjul1 Columbus, OH age: 51	hotrod, way to go,
6/5/2010 2:24:10 PM	Dating people with disability
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55
6/5/2010 2:25:36 PM	Dating people with disability
catbrg Catlettsburg, KY age: 51
6/5/2010 2:28:41 PM	Dating people with disability
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55	Hi cat! I was getting lonely.
6/5/2010 3:22:32 PM	Dating people with disability
winstonian Middletown, CT age: 33	I want somebody within two to three towns away.Easly to be able to meet without distance problem.I like movies,sports,walks,concerts,dining & etc.Hopefully I'll find somebody with the same interest as me.I like going to clubs when ever I can,since I've not gone for a while,but will soon.Like to do some painting also & cooking & if you're interest let me know.
6/5/2010 3:54:23 PM	Dating people with disability
cscrafter219 Rittman, OH age: 35	I hope that you are able to find someone. We all deserve to find the right person for each of us.
6/6/2010 9:19:06 PM	Dating people with disability
winstonian Middletown, CT age: 33	The day will come cscrafter,it'll all take time,who knows how soon of a inspection could happen.Take our time & patience.
6/6/2010 9:59:54 PM	Dating people with disability
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55	Someone once told me that when you stop looking that is when you will find someone.
6/7/2010 3:56:22 AM	Dating people with disability
lakelaunch Virginia Beach, VA age: 63	Quote from joni1955: Someone once told me that when you stop looking that is when you will find someone. Mmmmmmmmm.... Could it be that when you find someone you stop looking? That's kind of like folks saying, "It was in the last place I looked." DUH! That's because when you find it, you stop looking! Just kidding, joni - I've heard that too! Just being naughtily confrontational! Luv ya!
6/7/2010 1:28:48 PM	Dating people with disability
fooster201 Las Cruces, NM age: 61	I have a coulple of different mentl ilnesses. I recognized it and sought help. There are a lot of people that don't do that. I have a low self esteem and makes to have a date or a relationship. I don't look like I am mentally ill I am rather high functioning fortunately.
6/8/2010 5:37:59 PM	Dating people with disability
patdmidd Grand Rapids, MI age: 25	well no one can top me here..im a quadriplegic can barely move my arms and am stuck with a trach also due to childhood problems... i am in a nursing home and will be forever since the norms dont think high of my situation im not datable.. i dont get out anymore (over a yr now) because my family is now too busy for me, so some pics are older obviously im lucky to get one visit a month now only from my mom(which is technically my dads second wife) so lateda ill be single forever
6/8/2010 5:55:27 PM	Dating people with disability
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	Welcome aboard! You will find a great comfort with SWD members. Participate all you like! [Edited 6/8/2010 5:57:17 PM ]
6/8/2010 6:01:34 PM	Dating people with disability
fishingmom Lake Alfred, FL age: 56	Welcome Pat, glad you decided to join us. We sometimes laugh and sometimes cry, but mostly we are here to support each other.
6/8/2010 10:08:30 PM	Dating people with disability
rapunzel8 Shirley, NY age: 63	Welcome to our group Pat.
6/8/2010 10:38:42 PM	Dating people with disability
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55	Welcome Pat!!! Happy to meet you!! Join in and we will be looking for you!
6/9/2010 8:58:39 AM	Dating people with disability
lakelaunch Virginia Beach, VA age: 63	Quote from patdmidd: well no one can top me here..im a quadriplegic can barely move my arms and am stuck with a trach also due to childhood problems... i am in a nursing home and will be forever since the norms dont think high of my situation im not datable.. i dont get out anymore (over a yr now) because my family is now too busy for me, so some pics are older obviously im lucky to get one visit a month now only from my mom(which is technically my dads second wife) so lateda ill be single forever Each of us have felt the same about our Manufacturer's Defects, Pat! Please know that you are not alone, as this is, indeed, a great support group! Glad you're in our wonderful, goofy little world. We hope to hear from you often!
6/9/2010 3:27:47 PM	Dating people with disability
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55	Quote from patdmidd: well no one can top me here..im a quadriplegic can barely move my arms and am stuck with a trach also due to childhood problems... i am in a nursing home and will be forever since the norms dont think high of my situation im not datable.. i dont get out anymore (over a yr now) because my family is now too busy for me, so some pics are older obviously im lucky to get one visit a month now only from my mom(which is technically my dads second wife) so lateda ill be single forever Please don't give up Pat. Joni Eareckson Tada is a quadrapelgic as a result of a diving accident. She is married and does drawings with her mouth. You have so much to offer people, especially here. She travels all around the country speaking and selling her work. She has a very fulfilling life. You may want to google her. Her story may be there.
6/9/2010 3:58:51 PM	Dating people with disability
captainjul1 Columbus, OH age: 51	hi pat, stay with us were a very nice and understanding group, one thing we all have in common is were single also.
6/9/2010 4:17:28 PM	Dating people with disability
nycarebear_47 Poughkeepsie, NY age: 63	Quote from joni1955: Please don't give up Pat. Joni Eareckson Tada is a quadrapelgic as a result of a diving accident. She is married and does drawings with her mouth. You have so much to offer people, especially here. She travels all around the country speaking and selling her work. She has a very fulfilling life. You may want to google her. Her story may be there. and welcome Pat! I don't get here as often as I'd like to, but I totally agree with everyone and especially seeing what Joni E. Tada has done with her life after her accident. Yes, she did have a spell of severe depression, but family, faith, and finding a purpose in life kept her going. She is incredible. There are so many more "can do" than "can't do" when you get support. Years ago they did not have all the advantages we have today. The internet, being a necessity for those unable to get out into the "real world," has become a life-line to many. God bless! CB
6/9/2010 4:41:30 PM	Dating people with disability
ms1958 Lobelville, TN age: 52	Hi Pat welcome to the group. Always know that friends are the family you pic for yourself. You will find some really nice people in this group. I like your pic. I am from Michigan too Wyandotte. My dad worked for Chrysler in Trenton. Nice to meet you don't be a stranger. Mary
6/9/2010 5:25:07 PM	Dating people with disability
cscrafter219 Rittman, OH age: 35	Welcome to the group Pat. You will find that we can be silly but we always try to support each other. Feel free to post at any time.
6/9/2010 5:26:46 PM	Dating people with disability
winstonian Middletown, CT age: 33	I myself am disable,with short term memory & seizures, but I do work hard as some bumps young guys that still live under their mamis roof.Grow up & promote yourself into becoming independent.
6/9/2010 5:38:24 PM	Dating people with disability
captainjul1 Columbus, OH age: 51	being independent is the only way to be when your like us, is the way i see it, theres no one else to take care of our problems , but us .
6/9/2010 6:48:58 PM	Dating people with disability
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55
6/10/2010 9:24:16 PM	Dating people with disability
makarov417 Springfield, MO age: 47	Hi Everyone! My name is Erich and I'm new to this site but wanted to add my two cents on the topic of disabled/dating. My first and only relationship lasted 4+ years but ended as I slowly lost my ability to stand and walk well due to nerve damage from past injuries combined with Peripheral Neuropathy. My partner, who was 12 years younger than me wasn't willing to be "saddled" with the hassle of being with a cripple. Sure, it was a painful experience knowing that the person I had loved was leaving me for something truly beyond my control. But...I got over it fairly quickly. That was almost 5 years ago and since then dating has been a non-event in my life. The sad truth is that probably 95% of all people out there may say they have no prejudices when it comes to physically disabled people BUT...they also avoid relationships with such people. It is sad but true and understandable in an environment where youth, health & vitality are worshiped. Any similar experiences?
6/10/2010 9:31:39 PM	Dating people with disability
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55	Hi Erich!! Welcome!!! I would date someone with a physical disability over someone with an emotional disability any day. This may sound hypocritical because I have a history of emotional problems but was told long ago that two people like this would not be a good match. As far as the physical disability goes, the flesh and blood of a person is not what that person is about. I find that a person's personality is far more important than a person's physical limitations. And, yes, I have had physical problems in the past.
6/11/2010 7:31:05 PM	Dating people with disability
ms1958 Lobelville, TN age: 52	Hi Erich, welcome to the group. I think dating someone with a disability is harder for those with disabilities because you one at least one of you to be strong enough to compensate for the lose you may have. Every one has their own opinion and usually personality for me plays the biggest role in a partner for me.
6/13/2010 6:59:28 AM	Dating people with disability
makarov417 Springfield, MO age: 47	Joni, Thanks for the reply to my post. I used to work in Mental Health so I understand what you are saying and do not find it hypcritical. We all have issues of one kind or another but that doesn't mean we have to be anyones "savior" or open our doors to known chaos. All too often people eter into or remain in dysfunctional relationships thinking they can "fix" the other person. This is in my opinion NOT a healthy thing to do and almost never works out. To be fair...a person with a physical handiap can very easily also fall into this catgory if they have chosen to play the role of victim and are seeking pity or a servant to pamper them. I think one of the biggest factors in the general bias against relationships with physically handicapped people is the possibility of a diminished sex life not to mention the liklihood of their having a low income. This is of course nothing new or surprising. Just like the adoption chances of a blind cat or a crippled dog...who wants that when there are so many whole, healthy and attractive young ones to choose from. It's just human nature and although there are those individuals who take that disabled pet home, most go unwanted. We can't really blame them for avoiding the disabled because we all understand why they do it. We just need to accept the reality, not base our own value as people on what others think and try to live a full life anyway. Of course it's easier said than done.
6/13/2010 7:28:25 AM	Dating people with disability
lakelaunch Virginia Beach, VA age: 63	Those are good points, Erich! Glad you're here! I guess I'm just too doggone independent to fret over it. I have MS - crappy, but, as the National MS Society told me in the beginning, it's not a life sentence. I like that!
6/13/2010 10:50:39 AM	Dating people with disability
joni1955 Ridley Park, PA age: 55	Thanks Erich!!
6/13/2010 12:47:53 PM	Dating people with disability
cscrafter219 Rittman, OH age: 35	Hi Erich. Welcome to the group. I can understand about the neuropathy. I have to use a walker because of it. I have had people tell me that it does not bother them but when it come right down to it they do not want anything to do with me. I can tell you also that there is hope cause I have been on some dates in the last month. You just have to keep moving forward and the right person will come along.
6/13/2010 1:31:43 PM	Dating people with disability
shyimp Burlington, VT age: 51	I think a lot has to do with the person's strength and individuality. If I found a man and we had a loving bond, but, for example, had no legs, it would not matter in the slightest way. But then, that is me. I would never want someone waiting on me hand and foot, that would feel like pity or lack of understanding. We all need a certain amount of independence.
6/13/2010 1:37:03 PM	Dating people with disability
capecoralman Cape Coral, FL age: 47	I don't know if this has anything to do with what was said but my ex was unable to understand why i never wanted to get in my wheelchair when i was having problems with my stump. I knew i was stubborn but when you spend 5 years in a wheelchair and luckily i was able to walk again but its the idea of being in the wheelchair.
6/13/2010 3:19:48 PM	Dating people with disability
utahgal1 Ogden, UT age: 50	You know, I have dated one guy who use forearm crutch just one.........but his attitude sucked! It was always me, me, me and he lied so bad. Jeez....
6/13/2010 5:17:56 PM	Dating people with disability
nothingfake Colorado Springs, CO age: 43	Hey cape, I know exactly what you mean. I will fight as long as I can to stay out of the chair. I use a cane when I walk the dogs or go on long walks, but overall, for my daily life, or when I work, I don't need it. I have been disabled from birth and I agree with what Erich said. I notice it every day. People look at my profile, but don't contact me. They don't want to give me a chance to find out about "ME", they just see my note about being disabled; I don't want to meet them anyways I guess if they are really this shallow, it is frustrating and depressing nonetheless. If feels as if I don't "Qualify". Aarrgghh.....
6/13/2010 5:25:54 PM	Dating people with disability
capecoralman Cape Coral, FL age: 47	Quote from nothingfake: Hey cape, I know exactly what you mean. I will fight as long as I can to stay out of the chair. I use a cane when I walk the dogs or go on long walks, but overall, for my daily life, or when I work, I don't need it. I have been disabled from birth and I agree with what Erich said. I notice it every day. People look at my profile, but don't contact me. They don't want to give me a chance to find out about "ME", they just see my note about being disabled; I don't want to meet them anyways I guess if they are really this shallow, it is frustrating and depressing nonetheless. If feels as if I don't "Qualify". Aarrgghh..... You know Fake, i feel that since everything nowdays has to do with so much of the beautiful people, thin is in, etc. People are blinded by people who are disabled or whatever you want to call it. If people don't see it or have to deal with it they don't understand it. This of course, is my opinion.
6/13/2010 5:29:54 PM	Dating people with disability
nothingfake Colorado Springs, CO age: 43	Quote from capecoralman: You know Fake, i feel that since everything nowdays has to do with so much of the beautiful people, thin is in, etc. People are blinded by people who are disabled or whatever you want to call it. If people don't see it or have to deal with it they don't understand it. This of course, is my opinion. Yep, only if you are perfect you are good enough!! So sad that society is pushing for this whole "PERFECT IMAGE" crap.
6/13/2010 5:32:24 PM	Dating people with disability
capecoralman Cape Coral, FL age: 47	SAD, as that's how our world is.
6/13/2010 5:36:02 PM	Dating people with disability
nothingfake Colorado Springs, CO age: 43	If they would only know that we are probably MORE PERFECT than lots of THEM!!
6/13/2010 5:47:43 PM	Dating people with disability
captainjul1 Columbus, OH age: 51	will someone tell me where ive been all weekend ..\ i see some new people in here. so im taking the time to say welcome one and all,
6/13/2010 5:50:17 PM	Dating people with disability
luv_libra Middleburg, FL age: 48	Hello..I am new in here..posted a few times..but I hear ya on the dating.
6/13/2010 5:51:15 PM	Dating people with disability
nothingfake Colorado Springs, CO age: 43	Back at you Captn
6/13/2010 6:05:23 PM	Dating people with disability
capecoralman Cape Coral, FL age: 47	YES!, Welcome!!!

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