Am I being too Picky????

1/19/2008 11:02:38 AM	Am I being too Picky????
italianlady05 Omaha, NE 62, joined Jul. 2007	I seem to attract ones that: 1. Don't have a job. 2. Don't have a place to live. 3. Do drugs or alcohol to excess. 4. Are still married...or haven't even started the divorce proceedings yet. 5. Are still talking about the EX or old girlfriends. geess.. I could go on and on with this list.. Am I just being too picky here? Wow...seems like a whole lot of nothing to bring into a new relationship.. What's a woman to do??? Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
1/19/2008 11:04:22 AM	Am I being too Picky????
bonsaijoe Vero Beach, FL 50, joined Oct. 2007	well i dont have a job and havent in a year am i ruled out
1/19/2008 11:04:26 AM	Am I being too Picky????
zimplify Melbourne, FL 66, joined Jan. 2008	Talk to men like me. I shouldnt have to support her children or pay for her electric either
1/19/2008 11:04:38 AM	Am I being too Picky????
sdcentaur Sioux Falls, SD 57, joined Dec. 2007	Your not being picky Italian, your just watching out for yourself
1/19/2008 11:04:48 AM	Am I being too Picky????
lynn456 Martinsburg, WV 49, joined Nov. 2007	i dont see that as being too picky just settling for what you want.
1/19/2008 11:05:10 AM	Am I being too Picky????
arreis Cottonwood, AZ 56, joined Oct. 2007	Ummmmm, where are you meeting these guys at ital.?
1/19/2008 11:07:57 AM	Am I being too Picky????
lildifferent Sacramento, CA 56, joined Dec. 2007	Hell no you're not too picky Italian. Stick to your guns, Girlie. I also tend to be a loser magnet, but like I say, it's kind'a like a thrift store. you gotta sort thru a lotta' crap to find the gems. hang in there babe, and just try to have some giggles while you're hangin'. I know you're great at that.
1/19/2008 11:08:16 AM	Am I being too Picky????
harley68 San Antonio, TX 49, joined Dec. 2007	hey italianlady I get men like that in san antonio. But I have met some nice guys on line in past 1 1/2 of my divorce, there just hasn't been any sparks flying. But to answer your question. HELL NO you're not being too picky! Wait it out girlfriend, there's a few good ones left. It's like trying to find the right apple, gotta grab a few bad ones first.
1/19/2008 11:09:57 AM	Am I being too Picky????
zimplify Melbourne, FL 66, joined Jan. 2008	woe is us men...always getting a bad rap. I work have a home and still have some of my sanity.
1/19/2008 11:12:48 AM	Am I being too Picky????
italianlady05 Omaha, NE 62, joined Jul. 2007	Arreis..you want me to send you the names? A lot of them are from here...and then I read that some of them have found true love and are oh so happy and I'm thinking...wow..do I expect too much from a guy? Doesn't it help to be out of a marriage BEFORE hooking up with someone? Or have an income or means to support yourself before trying to get a girlfriend? I'm not Miss moneybags here, but I do pay my bills and am responsible for myself. How would a guy feel about meeting ME if I was living with friends without income and was still married but gonna file ...someday...what in the hell would he possibly want me for? I just don't get it!
1/19/2008 11:14:38 AM	Am I being too Picky????
sdcentaur Sioux Falls, SD 57, joined Dec. 2007	Drunken homeless guys thrown out by their soon-to-be ex logging in here at the public library and b*tching about her? Guess I'm busted
1/19/2008 11:15:18 AM	Am I being too Picky????
fixinitgeoff Salt Lake City, UT 51, joined Nov. 2007	me either. NO, you are not being to picky
1/19/2008 11:16:33 AM	Am I being too Picky????
arreis Cottonwood, AZ 56, joined Oct. 2007	~~~~~~~~ital. Lets swap lists......your looking good lady. ..........note to self........add sdc to list [Edited 1/19/2008 11:21:25 AM ]
1/19/2008 11:17:48 AM	Am I being too Picky????
collide64 Janesville, WI 53, joined Jan. 2008	Picky? Hell no. You have morals, values and standards. Don't lower them. I've been on my own for 3 years and will be on my own for as long as it takes. Hang in there and keep looking. Seems like a needle in a haystack sometimes.
1/19/2008 11:22:19 AM	Am I being too Picky????
weaimtoplease Geneva, OH 68, joined Dec. 2007	No, you are not being picky. I guess you have to kiss a WHOLE LOT of frogs, to find a prince. I would rather be alone than with someone I can't respect cause I been there and done that and it is NOT going to happen again!
1/19/2008 11:24:12 AM	Am I being too Picky????
garnetlady Cincinnati, OH 58, joined Nov. 2007	Italian I've wondered the same things as you have. I seem to attract that sort as well, online or off. Then find out THEY found someone? Of course all I can think of is wow is the woman that desperate? lol Your standards aren't too high, I think it is the least you can ask of someone to have a job, be responsible etc. If you are being picky then so am I...
1/19/2008 11:25:34 AM	Am I being too Picky????
wileyguy Wilkes Barre, PA 46, joined Apr. 2007	1.full time job and business 2.own my own home 3.my dog drinks more than i do 4.divorced....and i come with papers.....like a puppy 5. maybe i should go hang out at the thrift store
1/19/2008 11:28:15 AM	Am I being too Picky????
italianlady05 Omaha, NE 62, joined Jul. 2007	ok Wiley..I'll be there at 6pm...have dinner waiting...and be sure to light the candles cuz I want some luvin'!!
1/19/2008 11:31:14 AM	Am I being too Picky????
wileyguy Wilkes Barre, PA 46, joined Apr. 2007	is italian good?
1/19/2008 11:32:11 AM	Am I being too Picky????
mr_dave_12 Shickshinny, PA 51, joined Jan. 2008	You lucky dog Wiley!!!
1/19/2008 11:32:40 AM	Am I being too Picky????
bassman1959 Santa Rosa, CA 58, joined Dec. 2007	I hear a lot of that from women. But I think it says more about them. Not that they are too picky. I think that the reason they attract guys like that is because they themselves are not really ready to meet a guy and have a serious relationship. But also....a lot of us guys are having the same problem. Most of the women I have been meeting in general drink too much, talk about their ex...or exs or just expect perfection. And what do you mean by not having a place to live? Are they living in homeless shelters?
1/19/2008 11:34:05 AM	Am I being too Picky????
italianlady05 Omaha, NE 62, joined Jul. 2007	Italian is not lnly GOOD, hun, she's VERY GOOD!!
1/19/2008 11:44:43 AM	Am I being too Picky????
italianlady05 Omaha, NE 62, joined Jul. 2007	Bassman,,no, they are not in homeless shelters ( at least I don't THINK so, but who really knows?? ) They are staying with friends..at least that's what they say anyway! oh well...I know you all aren't like that...and I don't think i'm NOT ready to have a relationship..gees...i've been divorced for a long time and dated alot in the past years..some very nice guys too, but didn't feel that spark. I guess I just want it all, the decent guy AND the sparks!!!
1/19/2008 11:45:05 AM	Am I being too Picky????
wileyguy Wilkes Barre, PA 46, joined Apr. 2007	hey dave italian...food.... no allergies?
1/19/2008 11:46:23 AM	Am I being too Picky????
italianlady05 Omaha, NE 62, joined Jul. 2007	Wiley..you just cook whatever you want...I'm not picky on THAT part!! I'm sure it will be de-li-cious!!
1/19/2008 11:48:45 AM	Am I being too Picky????
flyankee07 Atlantic Beach, FL 57, joined Nov. 2007	Hey, I want some italian food too..........
1/19/2008 11:50:06 AM	Am I being too Picky????
stormie_temp Fresno, CA 45, joined Nov. 2007	No, you are not being too picky!!! I'm with you, want it all....an upstanding contribution to society and SPARKS. I agree with you, Italian...too bad we don't live closer. You and I could go for drinks and keep each others' backs while we are out there weeding through the bad apples!
1/19/2008 12:00:15 PM	Am I being too Picky????
bassman1959 Santa Rosa, CA 58, joined Dec. 2007	Maybe they are staying with friends. Keep in mind.....most people in our age range were married and had two incomes when as a couple they bought their first home. Than they got divorced. Someone got the house. In most cases it was the woman. Well, it's a rare guy that can go out and buy himself a home right after the divorce. Some guys might need 4, 5 or 10 years. So, where do they live? Perhaps they are renting a room in a friends house so they can save enough money to buy their own home. What is wrong with that? Before you call these guys homeless don't you think you should find out for sure? Also, if you are looking for a guy that already has his own home bought and paid for that makes you less attractive. Studies show that at least younger men won't buy a home until they get married. Younger women will tend to try to buy a home by the time they are in their mid 30s if there is no husband in sight. Perhaps it is the same for these older men who have lost their home due to divorce. Maybe they are just waiting to meet that special woman. Besides....look at it this way.....a guy that has his own home won't be as willing to pick up and move to another state if he meets a woman. And I have noticed that MOST divorced people talk about their exs regardless how long they have been divorced. I can understand the job issue and the drugs, drinking issues. Want to know what most of us guys have to deal with? Women that have been abused thinking that all men are abusers. The sad thing is women abuse men as well. But most men just move on.
1/19/2008 12:04:19 PM	Am I being too Picky????
gram2020 Coffeyville, KS 55, joined Jan. 2008	A very smart man once told me that I would have to go through alot of stones before I found my "Jewel" You have to be some what picky I think
1/19/2008 12:04:54 PM	Am I being too Picky????
arreis Cottonwood, AZ 56, joined Oct. 2007	~~~~~~as usual~~~~~~well said, bass. always enjoy your insight
1/19/2008 12:05:01 PM	Am I being too Picky????
wileyguy Wilkes Barre, PA 46, joined Apr. 2007	alrighty....1 big pot of italian.plenty for everybody.just bring the wine. and dont worry...ill keep your backs
1/19/2008 12:08:31 PM	Am I being too Picky????
flyankee07 Atlantic Beach, FL 57, joined Nov. 2007	And I know my way around WilkesBarre too.
1/19/2008 12:09:49 PM	Am I being too Picky????
bassman1959 Santa Rosa, CA 58, joined Dec. 2007	Thank You Arreis, I was beginning to think everyone thought I was just some wacko.
1/19/2008 12:16:26 PM	Am I being too Picky????
wileyguy Wilkes Barre, PA 46, joined Apr. 2007	you've been to wilkes barre? take a wrong turn somewhere
1/19/2008 12:24:26 PM	Am I being too Picky????
italianlady05 Omaha, NE 62, joined Jul. 2007	bassman..I feel you have always read waaaaaaaaaayy too much in the small amount of info I give out... I'm using the term "homeless" loosely...I just mean that they don't have a place they live..they are bumming off friends...I suppose without a job, how can they pay? Hell, I'm not worried about the guy having a house..let alone bought and paid for! A place to live, being responsible and accountable for yourself, your bills, your responsibilities...THATs what i'm referring too....... And Wiley, hun, you'd better get more chairs out, looks like you're gonna have company tonite...did someone say italian at Wiley's?? ya hooo!! Party time!!
1/19/2008 12:25:29 PM	Am I being too Picky????
wickedcards Esperance, NY 54, joined Jan. 2008	Bassman NO Your not a wacko some folks just don't want to look at it from the mans point of view. You discribed that very well. In fact I'm staying with friends right now. They are helping me and in turn I help them. Am i kinda a shame at my age to be living with friends. YES! But Ive started over before and i'm doing it again. If I meet someone at this point. The ONLY thing that would Slow a relocation is my 11 yr old. So I keep my mind open to everything and everyone. Who knows I could end up down SOUTH! The Ex discusion If you've had children with someone. Then the ex is alway going to be part of certain things. We have to be MEN and WOMEN enough to now when the Ex should be brought up. Then the other party has to understand why the ex is being talked about . Then the subject should be dropped. After a;; they are the EX. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>wicked<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
1/19/2008 12:29:06 PM	Am I being too Picky????
dutchboy4u Huntington Beach, CA 54, joined Oct. 2007	Dang Italian, You're way too picky! You just keep forging through all the BS and eventually you WILL find that man that you deserve as he deserves you...Good luck girl!
1/19/2008 12:30:00 PM	Am I being too Picky????
fuggly1 Winthrop Harbor, IL 54, joined Jan. 2008	I have met some great women on here, Italian your awsome....The one problem I seem to be facing is the distance of the possible connections. I cant pack up my life and ship it to another state unless there was some serious time involved with someone. It would take at least a year for me to make that kind of commitment or to even have them come to me. Its to risky in damaging each others lives without the time of knowing if it will really work. I dont want to hurt anyone and I also dont want to be hurt. Now, I do base a fair portion of blame on my ex's. I didnt want things to go bad, but they did on both of there parts not mine. These are life experiences, we learn and grow from them. I talk about them when the situation warrants it such as this post. I dont love either of them any longer. On the same hand I would want to know about a persons divorce, it helps you learn a little about them as a person. If there still in love with them it would show in that conversation. It helps you discover a little bit about the tougher side of there life and how they deal with those times. I know what I seek and I am in no hurry to find it, for its when we hurry that we settle for less and I will not settle for less or live through another failed relationship. I just cant do that again. It hurts way to much. Italian are you being to picky. NO YOUR NOT. but are you in a hurry is question only you can answer. I think you will be a great catch for the right man!
1/19/2008 12:31:52 PM	Am I being too Picky????
bassman1959 Santa Rosa, CA 58, joined Dec. 2007	Very well put Wicked. In the area I live in the median house is $500,000.00 only 15% of the couples with two incomes can aford to live in the home they have. Women seem to forget that most of them bought their first house with the help of their first husband. So what is a single person supposed to do?
1/19/2008 12:34:40 PM	Am I being too Picky????
wileyguy Wilkes Barre, PA 46, joined Apr. 2007	i see both sides of the coin. shit happens. the difference is if after 4 years you're still mooching off a friend or relative,you're not really trying.....are you? there is a difference between a temporary situation and a habitual one.at least if you have a plan,it could always be revised.some people don't want to plan.it makes them accountable.
1/19/2008 12:35:51 PM	Am I being too Picky????
oneheart Kennesaw, GA 70, joined Aug. 2007	Now with all of this discussion, I know of no one who's out crusin the homeless shelters or checken out the day labor lines for a date or partner...Now in all fairness, "maybe" they are there for a reason, but if that's the case they will not be for long! I know of no one who's thought in life was: I want to grown up & be a druggie, drunk, & homeless...We all have standards & yes they do change along the way...Just don't bring it my way!!! I've got my "list" of what I want or will accept....and I'm sticken to it Number one item...it's my life too & I don't want to spend it fix'n yours. *Note: Be true to self....even if that means by-self!
1/19/2008 12:40:52 PM	Am I being too Picky????
bassman1959 Santa Rosa, CA 58, joined Dec. 2007	Wileyguy, That would be true if someone was really mooching. If they have been living with someone for 4 years I think it is a pretty safe bet that they are paying rent. I know I wouldn't put up with anyone living in my home for 4 years without them paying rent. The point I was trying to make is people need to learn more about a person before they judge them.
1/19/2008 12:44:57 PM	Am I being too Picky????
arreis Cottonwood, AZ 56, joined Oct. 2007	bass. That is why I love my little shack. It may not be much, but its is mine and it is affordable. And It will also make a great stepping stone, for when I am ready to move on....... Ital......your a smart and beautiful woman. I know you will make the right choice for you.
1/19/2008 12:47:29 PM	Am I being too Picky????
wickedcards Esperance, NY 54, joined Jan. 2008	AM true to myself and no I,m not going to be alone for ever. The housing market now day is stupid. Its almost impossible without 2 jobs. I could do it but there is child support. So I'll end up getting a second job. then when I do thatthe child support go up again. So am I being picky. At this point in life........ Thank you bassman! [Edited 1/19/2008 12:47:58 PM ]
1/19/2008 12:48:23 PM	Am I being too Picky????
wileyguy Wilkes Barre, PA 46, joined Apr. 2007	bassman.....i'm not judging and most people don't.i know every situation is different.the point i was making is some people never have a plan.i only know what i have heard from other people telling me.a lot of people are content doing what they are doing.for some it is a good situation.i have heard from many women about men not wanting to work and the woman ends up supporting them....even paying their child support to kepp them out of jail. personally,i probably wouldn't want to live by myself.my house is there for my kids,not me.
1/19/2008 12:48:37 PM	Am I being too Picky????
bassman1959 Santa Rosa, CA 58, joined Dec. 2007	Arreis, There is nothing wrong with starting out small. Most people have. I wish more women thought like you.
1/19/2008 12:50:54 PM	Am I being too Picky????
pwin_here_n_now Lemon Grove, CA 48, joined Oct. 2007	Hi Italian! Well you know my thoughts on this.... everyone has certain things they will and will not put up with... and hopefully this "list" is the result of reflection, thoughtfullness and healing - I see them as a map for the journey to finally find and enjoy a mutually healthy, happy, lasting relationship. If you don't know where you have been, where you are at, or what you are seeking.... aren't you just left to wander? I'd rather be well informed about myself and and what I expect (And viewed as picky) rather than lost, and ending up miserable again! P.Win Stick to it Italian! And Wiley... make room for one more! [Edited 1/19/2008 12:51:58 PM ]
1/19/2008 12:52:29 PM	Am I being too Picky????
arreis Cottonwood, AZ 56, joined Oct. 2007	damn, wiley.........paying someones elses child support? Not this gal..... Thats called codependant......
1/19/2008 12:53:36 PM	Am I being too Picky????
wileyguy Wilkes Barre, PA 46, joined Apr. 2007	hi pwin i think im out of chairs....someone's gonna have to sit on my lap arreiss....yes,i heard it more than once.match is loaded with them.seems they have the $ to pay the membership though [Edited 1/19/2008 12:55:19 PM ]
1/19/2008 12:55:29 PM	Am I being too Picky????
bassman1959 Santa Rosa, CA 58, joined Dec. 2007	Wicked, No problem. Wileyguy, I grew up in Elmira, Big Flats and Corning, New York. Not to far from where you live. If I sold what I have here I could buy 15 homes in your area. So, people have to look at a lot more than how or where a person is living. You are right, there are a few women that have supported men. But there are many more men that have supported women with someone elses kids. Only to have them leave when the kids are grown. Myself included.
1/19/2008 12:57:23 PM	Am I being too Picky????
wickedcards Esperance, NY 54, joined Jan. 2008	Why in would you pay there child support, Mine is 300.00 A week any takers.......... JOKING! he need to get another job or two. think with your hea.....BRAIN! bass........Think i'm going to buy you a drink! [Edited 1/19/2008 12:59:45 PM ]
1/19/2008 1:00:22 PM	Am I being too Picky????
pwin_here_n_now Lemon Grove, CA 48, joined Oct. 2007	Now.... Wiley... You know me better than that! yoga and mat and floor will do just fine! Just joing for the laughes, good food, good friends, and wine! Thanks for the offer Wiley! Besides you'd be begging for me to get off your lap in about 5 minutes... I've been told I have a boney posterior! P.Win
1/19/2008 1:03:04 PM	Am I being too Picky????
arreis Cottonwood, AZ 56, joined Oct. 2007	.......bass, I understand that one. I took care of someone elses children until they were grown.....then it seemed he no longer had any use for me........"So here I sit all broken Hearted......" ~~~~~~It seems to me that this thread holds some very level-headed people. I believe we all will do well, in the end.........
1/19/2008 1:04:58 PM	Am I being too Picky????
wileyguy Wilkes Barre, PA 46, joined Apr. 2007	bassman.....don't get defensive. i'm not pointing at you. i know about elmira.my sis lives in horseheads.i was just there.the housing doubled in the couple years they have lived there.corning is spending a billion dollars on that new center and all the jos are 6 figures. i dont live in wb.....i live out in the sub/country. i have zero crime where i live and the best schools.for what i paid for my house,i couldnt afford to move.plus im not giving up my mortgage at less than 5 percent.
1/19/2008 1:06:25 PM	Am I being too Picky????
bassman1959 Santa Rosa, CA 58, joined Dec. 2007	Hey Wicked, I just think anyone who is so concerned with where a person is living is just very shallow. I have had my share of shallow women. That is why I am so picky. But I call it educated. Just because a person lives and owns his or her own home doesn't mean they are good people. I know a lot of abusive men and women that own there own home. I also know a LOT of decent people that have had to move back in with their folks because of a divorce.
1/19/2008 1:07:47 PM	Am I being too Picky????
wileyguy Wilkes Barre, PA 46, joined Apr. 2007	yaya pwin.......i know.cant blame a guy for trying tho but i have a cushy lap.........just in case
1/19/2008 1:10:05 PM	Am I being too Picky????
bassman1959 Santa Rosa, CA 58, joined Dec. 2007	Wiley, I am well aware of what is going on back there. I still have family there and I go back to go deer hunting every Thanksgiving. Well, take it easy.....I'm going bass fishing. Have a nice day.
1/19/2008 1:20:20 PM	Am I being too Picky????
lildifferent Sacramento, CA 56, joined Dec. 2007	Fugly, that was well put. i'm comin' up on the same kinda' situation myself. appreciate your perspective.
1/19/2008 1:29:21 PM	Am I being too Picky????
fuggly1 Winthrop Harbor, IL 54, joined Jan. 2008	lildifferent, you welcome. If just one of my posts helps someone with a similiar situtation than it makes me feel good. Life can sometimes be tough and we all have different perspectives...
1/19/2008 2:36:24 PM	Am I being too Picky????
aka_neo Marathon, FL 61, joined Dec. 2007	For sale or rent ,slightly used older man in good health ,able and willing to work for hugs and a few kisses. No drug useage , alcohol consumption marginal,never married but with good relationship experience .Old flames filed in distant memory. One dollar two ninty eight per day or best offer . Call (505) 898-3695

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