The Sensual Woman... 16

1/20/2008 10:55:53 AM	The Sensual Woman...
historybuff Waterville, ME age: 43	Alot would have to depend on her. One thing though, i would not want someone who wanted sex before marriage. Being a Christian, that is not something that i would want from a future spouse.
1/20/2008 11:00:40 AM	The Sensual Woman...
easytouch3 Mount Clemens, MI age: 46	TARA where did you go.You got me all worked up and left me high and dry
1/20/2008 11:19:14 AM	The Sensual Woman...
tara_tx Angleton, TX age: 44	I had to make a doughnut run for brother, feed my son, play domestic goddess for a bit, shower, eat, pesky stuff like that I'm really getting into all the thoughtful responses from everyone. What I'm learning over the years is the key to any given situation: know yourself, be true to yourself, don't settle, don't jump in before you test the waters, and listen to your "inner voice" instead of hitting the mute button for the sake of instant gratification, and certainly don't approach anything from a place of desperation. It's why I've chosen near celibacy for the last six years, but DAMN, it 'taint easy sometimes . I'm keeping it that way until I'm sure I'm capable of choosing a good guy and can contribute the best of me to a healthy relationship. It's nice to hear the male version of "looking for more than just," thanks guys [Edited 1/20/2008 11:24:10 AM]
1/20/2008 11:26:12 AM	The Sensual Woman...
easytouch3 Mount Clemens, MI age: 46	Sounds like you got a good head on your shoulders tara.Stay on course and youll get what your looking for.There are many nice and sinceer people on this sight.IM one of them just needed to vent.Hope i didnt offend you or anyone else pease out
1/20/2008 11:38:51 AM	The Sensual Woman...
thebestman Alpharetta, GA age: 34	I tell people all the time that just because a woman gets real romantic on the first date, that doesn't = to being a slut. We are all human and if the chemistry is super, and the flow is good, why not??? Often times because of "society's rules" some women think about it too much by second guessing what feels right when they have that tingling feeling running down their spine down to their toe nails. Romance is not a bad thing. So, if her and her date continue to build off this, great. She's showing that she's interested in him and want to see him and do things with him. Her actions will dictate this. HOWEVER, a womans actions after that would dictate slutty behavior. Such as not returning calls, empty promises after the first date etc... What those things say is that she has other guys out there she's dating or even involved with. For all a guy knows, he could have been a rebound... Which in case is slutty behavior as well because she is sleeping around etc...
1/20/2008 11:53:33 AM	The Sensual Woman...
tara_tx Angleton, TX age: 44	Thanks easy, your responses were wonderful, as were everyone's! There are a lot of very intelligent and thoughtful men here, and I'm finding the forums a pleasure. What a relief to be able to have some adult interaction without any pressure. As for the head on my shoulders, that was more firmly attached upon the birth of my son. What a blessing, and an inspiration to work at becoming the best me. Like I said, though, it's not an easy thing to deny yourself when you have a very healthy libido, a romantic heart, and the propensity to be a little too trusting a little too quickly. SO, just not going there for awhile sometimes is the best option. Ya gotta ask yourself--okay, what have I done wrong in the last five relationships? Do I keep making the same mistakes and expecting different results? What were those mistakes? Or was it simply choosing the wrong person? Most likely a combo of both. Hmmmmmmmm, will keep you posted when I have it all figured out. Mark, you're a rare gem, but three months, how do you DO that? I would assume you'd have to discuss it with your romantic interest beforehand so they wouldn't feel as if you weren't attracted to them physically? I truly do admire your conviction, talk about the total package When you give classes, I'll be there!
1/20/2008 12:57:42 PM	The Sensual Woman...
markmeunier Timmins, ON age: 40	An open understanding is required. There are so many things involved in a relationship. Developing a solid friendship is paramount, as are trust and communication. There are so many comforts that are overlooked when sex becomes the forefront of the relationship. If sex were priority number one, the other more developmental ideals for the foundation of what should be intended as the last relationship would not be developed equally. I am very expressive physically, emotionally and mentally so there are many ways outside of sexual conduct to consider and approach. Nothing can blind the heart quicker than the physical passions, and I am fertile like the Nile River so I refuse to participate in something that may change both partners lives for ever without being at least fairly certain (there really is no guarantee though) that what I am entering is of substantial and reasonable success. I am very emotional, and as such form bonds much deeper than the skin, and to deliberately enter into a purely or mainly physical relationship would cause too much hardship for me. I would never leave my partner for anything that happened to them, but again I will not stay with any woman who crosses well-defined moral lines. My children's safety, emotionally, spiritually, physically and physically is a major line. Cheating, drugs and alcohol abuse are another. I do not enter lightly into any relation, friends or otherwise, but once I have committed, I am there through thick and thin 'til death do us part. My loyalty, determination, compassion, desire, all of my input must be recognized for what it is and reciprocated to the best of their ability. These things determine the longevity of relationships and sex is the physical and emotional reward for success in these matters. I do not read a cookbook and demand that the meal I've decided to pursue be served instantly. Ingredients must be present and prepared, effort must be made through preparations, and time will produce the reward. Mark
1/20/2008 12:58:04 PM	The Sensual Woman...
metu Mansfield, TX age: 46	I've been told that I exude sensuality & sexuality, but you know what? I would much rather have a witty, intelectual convo with someone instead of jumping into bed on the first date. All women may have what's between my legs, but not all have what's between my ears.
1/20/2008 1:12:49 PM	The Sensual Woman...
dreambuilder07 Gaithersburg, MD age: 48	A woman with her clothes off is communicating something very special to me already. There is so much more to body language like the look in her eyes, and the way she holds her hair that mean so much. The non verbal nature of her would tell me all the truth I needed. Most of that is so hard to decieve, yet I have been known to believe just about anything.
1/20/2008 2:04:29 PM	The Sensual Woman...
tara_tx Angleton, TX age: 44	Ummm, I'm printing that one out, Mark, and you too, Metu :0) Wow, this can branch off into several different areas of concern. Dreambuilder, I always thought that way too, but apparently I am easily deceived, or I decieve myself, or both. My problem is exactly that. Mark, I wholeheartedly agree, the passion is blinding, and you really should have some assurance of trust before you go there. So how come it took me until 40'something to figure that out? Because I am an emotional marshmallow, and I want to believe? I don't enter into a sexual relationship lightly, without expecting it to go somewhere meaningful. I have just entered in too quickly on the wave of physical attraction and assumed intimacy. The last three times, that has been complicated by being a long distance relationship. And they did turn into relationships, but ones that were doomed from the start. Time together and funds to travel are limited, so there is a certain urgency, as well as the illusion of intimacy, and a feeling that you know that person--especially if you have communicated for a long time before meeting. SO, my solution is, NO MORE LDR'S!! I've sworn off of them. And I'll certainly bring no one into my home or my life that could confuse or be a bad influence on my son. sigh I guess it's just the forums for awhile, so I'm tickled I have you all to hang out with. Too cool I just got back from a bike ride with my boy, now there is a high, and there is love. Tara
1/20/2008 2:21:58 PM	The Sensual Woman...
tara_tx Angleton, TX age: 44	Bestman, Easy, Tecman, Uh_huh, I really do appreciate your more flexible points of view, but I don't think there are many of you out there, at least not in Texas! I wish I could feel on equal ground and able to express myself like that. I do think it's a fact that most men are able to seperate sex and emotion, pleasure and intimacy. I don't think most women can, at least I've found I can't. Even if I do try to go there, I just end up feeling crappy afterward when that turns out to be that. You guys do give me hope that, if I do make the mistake of jumping the gun again, it might just be with Mr. Right. In the meantime, I'll yoga myself into a coma, put a cork in it, take multiple bike rides, or something [Edited 1/20/2008 2:22:46 PM]
1/20/2008 2:22:44 PM	The Sensual Woman...
markmeunier Timmins, ON age: 40	Tara: Long distance relationships are only taboo if the distance is between hearts. Physical distance as I have said before is merely time. Time is the only currency we have to truly spend freely upon this planet, and to spend it lightly is a fool's errand. There is no physical distance that could hold me back from someone my heart and soul recognize as the 'one.' It might take some effort and preparation to properly mediate this initial distance but when my heart is motivated, mountains will be climbed, forests razed, oceans swam, deserts irrigated and whatnot. Opportunities abound and in this rapidly globalizing world, no man or woman can discount themselves from Love finding the from afar or vice versa. There is a distinct advantage to the online medium that has been neglected in interpersonal relations for quite some time. You must communicate, and drive your essence through words to the other person. With forum, email, telephone, Skype (or other webcam options) you must define yourself without the subconscious acts of olfactory emmisions (pheremones not gas), and the other less obvious attractants. Inflection, tone and other auditory information is offered once the mind has been properly informed as to what might lie potentially ahead. Body language (through cam) can further the requirements of physical attraction, and of course then there is the first physical meeting, which will fill in all the blanks. In three months of concerted effort on both persons parts there should be more than reasonable belief that it will either be friendship or more. This time frame I have used is in personal relationships and I am unsure how this will fit into this particular setting (online), as much of the time I require is to explore the person and share myself in all but the physical. Do not discredit anyone because of distance, just ensure that they will be the one and let everything else fall into place from there. Mark
1/20/2008 2:35:44 PM	The Sensual Woman...
thebestman Alpharetta, GA age: 34	you are welcome tara. anytime you need advice, well you know...
1/20/2008 2:43:29 PM	The Sensual Woman...
tara_tx Angleton, TX age: 44	Thanks again, Mark. I used to agree with you, but that is what I thought I had in the last one .) You just have to be very, very careful, especially with long distance. We communicated for 7 months before we met(Dublin, Ireland to TX.) In fact, we were "in love," before we ever physically met. And maybe we were in love, but with the fantasy, not the reality. People can be anyone they choose to present themselves to be online, and be living a totally different reality. And if one is honest, and the other totally dishonest, you have a recipe for disaster. You have NO idea if you don't live near them, know none of their friends or family, etc. I love your outlook, it is wonderful, chivalrous, romantic, sincere...what I dreamed that I had inspired in my last relationship. In fact, it's what I took for granted, that we would move mountains to make it work. Granted, there were warning signs that I chose to ignore until I couldn't any longer. I let it go on for 2 1/2 years before I woke up. When I found out about his double life, the split was incredibly painful. I don't regret it, because I have my beautiful son, but I won't be going there again I don't think. So, without draggin out all of my dirty laundry, there it is. If you are vulnerable at all, I think it's best not to do the LDR thing--there is just too much you have to leave to blind faith. I certainly don't want to be jaded, I just want to be smarter-with-a-heart. You've all done a fantastic job of being sounding board, salute! [Edited 1/20/2008 4:01:53 PM]
1/20/2008 5:05:08 PM	The Sensual Woman...
bustakul Gatineau, QC age: 63	Busta Kul - I think that if the Man takes Her off His list of Possible Dates, He has not been paying attention to Her body language! He also has Not been listening, as He should have been, and if He had been, He'd have a chance to interpret Her language and to read the situation correctly for it really is - not what He thinks it is or means... She does not deserve to be called - slut - or to be taken off His Dates List! But that's just My opinion... BK

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