| 1/23/2008 6:41:27 AM |
He says that he loves me? |
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spyder03
Big Spring, TX
age: 46
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My boyfriend says that he loves me and wants to be with me but yet he talks about other women and what he would like to do to them sexually. He stops in the street to look at a pretty little sweet thing. Comes home from work and says that he had to wash off the ole gal he was with today - then laughs and says he was just cold. Watches porn and looks at porn magazines and says that it visual stimulation. He likes trashy but clean women. I wouldn't mind it so much but he seems to be so obsessed with women's bodies. I used to weigh 300lbs and have worked very hard to get my weight down. I have lost 95lbs and yes, I still have a ways to go. I am tall and have a big frame - big bones. Since he has been with me this last year, I have quit working out because he consumes all of my time. He doesn't have a car, I do. He doesn't help with groceries, I buy groceries to suit him which makes me gain weight. He criticizes me and tells me I should not be so sensitive when it hurts me. He jiggles my stomach and says that the likes my stomach, but he is laughing the whole time. He makes fun of my nose. He makes fun of the lose skin under my chin. He says things about my arms. But he tells me that he does this to make me stronger - to make me want to work harder at getting rid of it. We don't do anything fun together anymore other than lay in bed and watch TV and he will pick on me - like squeeze my little finger to the point that I cry sometimes, or he bites me, hits me with the remote especially my breast - why my breast I don't know. I don't critcize him. Oh, I try to kiss him and he won't kiss me. We both smoke but I would still kiss him. He only holds me when it convenient for him or he is sucking up to me because he wants something. He wakes me up in the middle of the night to make him a glass of tea or fix him something to eat. He can't sleep at night so he hates it when I sleep and even fusses about it. When he sleeps during the day he sleeps about 20 hours. I get about 3-5 a night. I know you are asking what the hell is she doing - I do that every day. I am afraid he will be better with someone else, I am afraid he will find that perfect 10 that will put up with him. I am afraid of being without him again. I am afraid he would take care of someone else if they were skinny, beautiful like the girls in those magazines. I could be erotic but after all the things he says and does I don't even feel like having sex. He tells me that he knows how to please a woman and that he is so good looking that all the women want him. People tell me that he makes me look bad - that he is trashy looking. He doesn't take care of himself unless he is going to go somewhere where there is going to be other women. I watch TV at night and see people kissing or hugging and I cry. But I won't make any move to help me. I do see a therapist and he can't hardly stand to hear me talk about my boyfriend because the things I tell him I put up with. What is my problem? I have prayed and prayed. I keep thinking that if I have enough faith even though he takes that away from me too, that it will get better if I just hang in there and have the little faith that he leaves. Please someone tell me what is wrong with me
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| 1/23/2008 7:45:45 AM |
He says that he loves me? |
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big_joel
Ash Flat, AR
age: 55 online now!
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well for one see a woman therapist
and then get the f*ck out of that relationship and move on
there are lots of men that will come home at night and give you a kiss
and ask how your day went before you have the time to ask them about theres went
just move on and dont look back
[Edited 1/23/2008 7:46:11 AM]
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| 1/23/2008 9:25:14 AM |
He says that he loves me? |
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stormygrl
Longmont, CO
age: 41
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it's time for you to move on - no one deserves to be treated that way - get out and quick... you can certainly do better than that...
he needs to be 
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| 1/23/2008 9:34:55 AM |
He says that he loves me? |
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tecman
Manassas, VA
age: 47
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What big_joel said! - run quick!
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| 1/23/2008 9:38:07 AM |
He says that he loves me? |
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irparis39
New York, NY
age: 48
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He does it because he knows you will put up with it. You're 46 yrs old and I can't believe that at this stage in your life you haven't gotten a hold of who you are on your own without a man in your life. But I want you to understand something...this isn't his fault...it is yours, because you allow it. You can't control his behaviour, only yours...you are responsible for you not this man.
Being the weight that you are, you probably think that there will be no other man who will put up with an overweight woman, but I'm telling you...you are wrong. But you're are never going to find out unless you choose to be treated differently. The other problem is that you are so into meeting his needs, you have sacrifice your needs for the good of the relationship...or evil, however you want to look at it. Really look at those shows that you're crying about, those women get hugs and kisses because they are respected enough to be given that passion. He doesn't give 2 hoots about you and don't be surprise if one day he will come home and say he's found another.
A man will only put up with a sap but so much even if he's the one doing the dissing. And the fact that he comes home talking of other women could very well be a smoke screen and he is actually seeing other women because you're a sap who won't do anything.
I am afraid he will be better with someone else, I am afraid he will find that perfect 10 that will put up with him. I am afraid of being without him again. I am afraid he would take care of someone else if they were skinny, beautiful like the girls in those magazines.
So what if he leaves you...he doesn't love you enough to be respectful now, do you honestly believe he's going to treat someone else better. No, he's not going to mess up a good thing (one) and (two) another girl may not put up with that. You're not going to die over this, its not the end of the world. He DOESN'T LOVE YOU. No self respecting man would treat a woman like this, do you understand this. He's treating you like a dog and you're acting the part of..."man's best friend who waits faithfully by the door, hoping to lick his master's face".
Find another therapist, because you're right, he is tired of hearing you. Better yet, save your money, in order for therapy to work, you have to be willing to say to yourself "I'm putting in the time and effort it takes to be a stronger, more proactive woman in MY life, because I'm worth it". And you are worth it, please believe that...you just have to believe in yourself and it can happen. Because if you don't believe in yourself, well, this relationship that you have will be a way of life for you and as we get older it doesn't get easier. You only have one life to live, do you really want to spend what you have left living with a vaccum. Yes, you can concentrate on having faith, but you know what, faith comes ONLY after we put in the work. You've not done the work which is why you live in despair...you deserve more.
Paris
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| 1/23/2008 9:38:51 AM |
He says that he loves me? |
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newlife4me2
Saylorsburg, PA
age: 42
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No self-esteem. Gave your power over to somebody he isn't fit to lick the bottoms of your shoes.
Been there and done that, and not too proud to admit it.........but like Joel said, get yourself some help and get the hell gone, nobody but nobody deserves to live that way and you are the only one that can change it.
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| 1/23/2008 9:41:39 AM |
He says that he loves me? |
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rebel743
Dickson, TN
age: 24
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| 1/23/2008 11:32:27 AM |
He says that he loves me? |
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funpeaches
Battle Creek, MI
age: 33 online now!
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I'm sorry you're going through that, but I think you already know what to do! If he doesn't contribute anyways then you're really not losing much to begin with. Get an eviction notice and tell him to "walk it out"!! You can find someone that deserves your attention and gives in return. Worry about you getting the best out of life! My best wishes to you sweetie!
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| 1/23/2008 12:24:19 PM |
He says that he loves me? |
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tinasdream
Katy, TX
age: 31
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lose him then u'll really lose some weight
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| 1/23/2008 12:34:41 PM |
He says that he loves me? |
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ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!
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It's ok to pray but you also have to act. Don't just sit there and take it. You deserve much more and you're worth it. Not only do you have to say that to yourself you also have to believe it.
Ask, believe and then receive. In other words Pray away, believe in yourself and what you've prayed for, and be proactive and physically do something to better your situation.
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| 1/23/2008 1:16:04 PM |
He says that he loves me? |
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breakafoot
Pekin, IL
age: 44
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dump his ignorent butt and call me.you sound wonderful.screw him.no porn no other women or move on.sorry just straight to the point bye loser.sincerely wildman
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| 1/23/2008 2:27:55 PM |
He says that he loves me? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34
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Again, ACTIONS always outweigh the power of words a person tells you.
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| 1/23/2008 2:42:41 PM |
He says that he loves me? |
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sunbeachflower
Suffolk, VA
age: 38
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I'm sorry you had to go through that ,but we see signs that we ignore.Love doe's not carry like that.He loves what he do and you allow it. dump him fast 
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