| 3/5/2008 4:18:39 AM |
Do you say your sorry? |
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katie5579
Woburn, MA
age: 47
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one of the issues that ended the relationship with the last longterm was not saying im sorry. He accused me of cheating which i would never do. I expressed my feeling of hurt at his accusations and disbelief he would think I could do that. I asked him to apologise....after much discussion he gave a halfhearted apology. This added to the emotional distance that already existed. Not sure if he didnt believe me or was one of those guys that hates to apologise. He had issues with infidelity which crept into our relationship and couldnt get the idea thats absolutely not something I would do? But i think for him the apology meant he was wrong and there was this doubt he had which wouldnt allow him to believe me and genuinely apologise.  
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| 3/5/2008 4:34:39 AM |
Do you say your sorry? |
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mindyb
Park Rapids, MN
age: 43
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SEE KATIE YOU SAID IT RIGHT THERE....
"one of those guys who hates to apologize"
I mean come on 
To me that seems very Juvenille, I do not see one single good reason for not being sorry the your action hurt some one....so it boils done to this
they must think their shit doesn't stink, they can do no wrong
they are above you obviously so that also means
they see themselves as more smart, more worthy, more of value...than you
My ex...was and is even worse at arrogance,
he thinks his pot smoking booze guzzeling ass is better than everyone else
He thinks he is just the smartest guy that ever walked the planet
and above everyone including the law
not this has a thing to do with it but materialist and shallow to
And even tho he has been such a shit head if he was hurt by my observations of his behavior and traites i see predominant in his personality I would still apologize and even tho he would not deserve the kndness i would still do it for no other reason because it is right. I have compassion for how another person feels and extend good wishes is right and an apology is good wish it not a bad wish therfor it is a good one.
I might had that its never too late to change and that i am sorry my observations hurt him...thats true its never to late to change. If your a person who never apologizes when your not wrong its not to late to starting creating good out of something that was bad for some one.
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| 3/5/2008 5:06:22 AM |
Do you say your sorry? |
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metal1970
Towson, MD
age: 38
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Only say sorry to close friends or family. Anyone eles it's a sign of weakness......
Leroy Jethro Gibbs......
Meaning it shows your insecurities and leaves you open to verble attacks
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| 3/5/2008 5:41:26 AM |
Do you say your sorry? |
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ret1058
Westerville, OH
age: 49
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I say "I'm sorry" when I know that I have hurt or offended someone (It would be a rare thing for me to intentionally hurt someone). There are also those times when someone has offended me...where I will take the initiative to apologize for anything I may have done or said that has upset them. Then, the ball is in their court on whether they apologize to me or not. Regardless, it "releases" me from the situation because I've taken care of my part.
For me there are three steps to an apology (my kids know this well);
The 1st step: Say what I did wrong.
The 2nd step: Say why it was wrong.
The 3rd step: Apologize.
For me when I get this kind of apology, it transforms my hurt into healing so that I can concentrate on moving forward.
To add to what geO said...Tone of voice and attitude when apologizing is important. I think I'd rather have no apology than an insincere one. An insincere apology does nothing to bring about healing from being wounded or offended.
I would add The 4th step: Try not to do it again. If you apologize but keep doing or saying the same thing...the apology has no meaning.
In addition to what geO said...(this goes with Step 2)...I think it's important to use active listening when someone else is apologizing...really trying to understand how your words or actions have affected the person so that you can also relate it to other similar situations that may bring about the same result...and hopefully avoid those in the future.
The attitude and response of the person who you are apologizing to is also important. If I humble myself and take a risk, opening myself up... to apologize to someone...and they respond in a negative or smartass manner...it lessens my chances of apologizing again to them. It's important to be able to give and RECEIVE apologies in an appropriate manner. There's no room for pride or arrogance on either side of an apology...giving or receiving.
I don't feel that apologizing is a sign of weakness...but, rather a sign of strength. Apologizing is a humbling experience and therefore takes great strength to do...which builds character.
IMO...if someone cannot take responsibility for their actions, apologize, and attempt not to repeat the offenses...their relationship will be in jeopardy of failing.
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| 3/5/2008 9:37:05 AM |
Do you say your sorry? |
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mindyb
Park Rapids, MN
age: 43
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weakness is not being able to stand there look someone straight in the eye and let them resort totheir petty attacks.....a man who can not apologize out of being polite,kind and respectful is a man not worthy of respect. that hold true for women...stubborness is foolheartedness and that is weak. I wonder if that is a lack of upbringing. I raised my children to be strong and be proud to humble themselves and allow vunerable humility show their inner strength and beauty by being kind and sensitive to the feelings of others. my oldest can be a little stubborn regarding apoplogies to the parents but I notice since she got married last year thats turned around so maybe her heart beig softened by the security of the love of a good man allowed her go belly up...belly up is a good thing. My youngest Daughter is an Aquarius and is stubborn as she can be with me but very sensitive to the world, she will come around but she is young at early 20's no daughter wants momma to be right....lol my boys no stubborness but they are communicators, they want to analyze and then apologize...my youngest shows the most strength he will come tome on his own accord and tell me he is wrong...dear God he is going to be such a strong pillar in his community for such genuineness...none of the kids are weak and yes they stand their ground and kick some ass if forced, after all their Irish/Danish....a little celtic viking hell yeah they stand tall....but their GREATEST STRENGTH IS THE ABILITY TO APOLOGIZE...and that means belly up strength with no fear of verbalization, they are excellent communicators. yea me...I did something right! I raised kids to be great...I rock!
[Edited 3/5/2008 9:37:38 AM]
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| 3/5/2008 9:43:33 AM |
Do you say your sorry? |
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deannalynnr
Sparrows Point, MD
age: 44 online now!
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 ret...I agree and you said that very well!
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| 3/5/2008 9:56:18 AM |
Do you say your sorry? |
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eyeswideopened
Huntington Beach, CA
age: 43
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I tend to say I am sorry to family, co-workers and close friends because I rather keep the peace even though I don't think it was my fault than to have it blown out of proportion.
Feelings are just that and my perception may be different from other peoples and that is why I will apologize because I do care and don't want anyone to get hurt.
Now, if someone hurt my feelings and they shrugged it off, I have no problem in walking
away and not keeping their friendship anymore. I haven't had this problem with boyfriends though and definately not with people close to me. I would talk with them in an adult manner meaning not screaming at them. This method always seems to work out. I don't believe in screaming at people, it gets you nowhere. If you confront someone in a respectful civil matter and it gets the results. If the other party still shrugs you off, then that shows thier character so why would you continue a relationship where there is no respect?
Just my thoughts
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| 3/5/2008 10:02:55 AM |
Do you say your sorry? |
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mindyb
Park Rapids, MN
age: 43
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your eyes are wide open GOOD WOMAN...i am so glad to see vituious strength
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| 3/5/2008 10:17:36 AM |
Do you say your sorry? |
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evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 35
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Nope.
Sorry doesn't mean f*ck all.
I say "I understand I did such and such. I will try not to do it again"
or
"F*ck you in the goat ass.. I did it on purpose!!! what are you gonna do about it... cry?"
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| 3/5/2008 10:29:24 AM |
Do you say your sorry? |
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mindyb
Park Rapids, MN
age: 43
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yeah but Eddy that means the same thing...i understand i will not do such and such ect...it shows that you are listening your respecting what is important to that person by a measure of cooperation and communication...the actual words "I am sorry " is easy to do...but to own it...thats takes a strong person....but then we already know that about you, at least i see you as strong.
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| 3/5/2008 10:32:23 AM |
Do you say your sorry? |
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mindyb
Park Rapids, MN
age: 43
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the only part left out there is the remorse for hurting someone but I think I would be mostly concerned to see some form of humbleness which indicates strenth rather than weak stubborness
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| 3/5/2008 10:37:37 AM |
Do you say your sorry? |
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evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 35
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yeah but Eddy that means the same thing...i understand i will not do such and such ect...it shows that you are listening your respecting what is important to that person by a measure of cooperation and communication...the actual words "I am sorry " is easy to do...but to own it...thats takes a strong person....but then we already know that about you, at least i see you as strong.
But I am not sorry... I just communicate the fact that I comprehend that my actions had an adverse effect upon the person and take responsibility for it.
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| 3/5/2008 5:34:39 PM |
Do you say your sorry? |
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mindyb
Park Rapids, MN
age: 43
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and that is good....that is strength...dear GOD how f*cking easy it is to cop out and be stubborn but it takes great strength to own it....So when you do own it Eddy then your being your freaking best....not a suck up...just f*cking respectful.
i do like what you said earlier well aside from the Goat that was just your typical funny Eddy shit....
i love you Eddy.....damn if I only had no tits you could be mine
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| 3/5/2008 5:35:50 PM |
Do you say your sorry? |
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pichick712
Brookhaven, PA
age: 49
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My ex husband was so verbally abusive that I have learned to say "I'm sorry" for things I never did. lol
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| 3/5/2008 5:49:54 PM |
Do you say your sorry? |
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livengood40
Mount Juliet, TN
age: 40
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yes it s the wright thing to do.
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