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Forums: Relationships: Ladies!!! Does a woman really look for her father in a man?
3/14/2008 2:18:26 PM Ladies!!! Does a woman really look for her father in a man?  

pinkkittypink
Jacksonville, NC
age: 38

 heck no.....your soul mate sould be selections of good parts/character/morals from all good people you meet along the way...like building the ultimate lover in your mind... then take that list of fifty, cut it in half, then subtract ten, and throw a few more over your shoulder....if you find six good things about someone,ask them over for a bbq and hurry!
3/14/2008 2:43:58 PM Ladies!!! Does a woman really look for her father in a man?  

blonde73fairy
Clarksville, TN
age: 34

 I want a guy who is nothing like my dad.
3/14/2008 3:04:32 PM Ladies!!! Does a woman really look for her father in a man?  

gr8stwoman
Napa, CA
age: 41

 Subconsciously, a woman may look for qualities in a mate that she would identify with the strongest parent, whether father or mother. My mother was the strong parent in our home. My ex-husband reminded me of a gross exaggeration of my mother's most negative qualities. I learned how to remain calm under the most extreme circumstances and never made the mistake of selecting someone like my ex again.

3/14/2008 3:18:44 PM Ladies!!! Does a woman really look for her father in a man?  

thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34

 I wouldn't say a woman looks for her father in her man. But if she had a positive father in her life, she will gravitate to him subconciously if he does things that remind her of her father's demeanor.

Conversely, if a woman has had a bad relationship or is bitter towards her father, she could be a challenge in a negative way more often than not in relationships ESPECIALLY IF HER MOTHER said a lot of bad things about him also.

Some women have great fathers, some women have had bad fathers, and some don't even know their fathers.

Those variables along with the type of relationship women had with their fathers will be a strong indicator of how she will treat men whom she dates, enter relationships with, and or marriage.



[Edited 3/14/2008 3:21:17 PM]
3/14/2008 4:04:00 PM Ladies!!! Does a woman really look for her father in a man?  

davewave1
Ann Arbor, MI
age: 61

 It is the original intent of Nature that woman enjoys a loving, supportive relationship from and with her father. Therefore, she naturally desires to enjoy the same fulfilling happiness with a man for the rest of her life.

However, if a woman did not receive from her Father the supportive, loving relationship Nature intended, she will be looking for it the rest of her life and never find it.

Such a tragic event is analogous to a sapling having been struck by lightening. It lost limbs, was severely damaged yet survived. No matter long it lives thereafter, it will never be whole again.



[Edited 3/14/2008 4:04:49 PM]
3/15/2008 5:14:05 AM Ladies!!! Does a woman really look for her father in a man?  

straight30
Midlothian, VA
age: 18

 jasmom look you tell your man what to do
3/15/2008 5:18:34 AM Ladies!!! Does a woman really look for her father in a man?  

straight30
Midlothian, VA
age: 18

 thanks everyone pretty good answers.
3/15/2008 5:21:02 AM Ladies!!! Does a woman really look for her father in a man?  

sumbeach777
Red Springs, NC
age: 44

 I do to some point, I feel a man, should be a strong person, inside and out, meaning, not in of hand, but of of they way he asks, and cares for himself and his family..

Those are things I have in me, and I did see a side of my father that was loving, compassionate, But most of all strong...JMO..... Beach
3/15/2008 5:43:24 AM Ladies!!! Does a woman really look for her father in a man?  

tara7c
Westerville, OH
age: 49

 I have read that if a woman has a great relationship with her father, she will look for a man with similar characteristics.

Here's the troubling information that I read...if a woman doesn't have a good relationship with her father when growing up...if there are unresolved issues...if there is or was conflict...if she never felt loved by him...she will subconciously marry a man that is similar in THOSE characteristics in a search to resolve those conflicts and feel accepted by her father. The idea being...if she can gain the love and acceptance of a man that is similar to her father....she can gain resolution to her relationship with her own father. Apparently, this is not something that is done on a conscious level. And...of course...generally the relationship with her husband doesn't end in a good result either...so the cycle continues.

After reading this information, it became so clear to me that fathers need to be so careful in how they raise their daughters...how they interact with them...how they treat them...how they speak to them. Little girls need to know that their daddy thinks they are lovely, beautiful. Daddies should treat them like little ladies...gentle, courteous, etc.

Here's a good book that I read. "Captivating...Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul".
Here's a paragraph from that book:

Her father lavished affection on her with his presence, his protection, his delight. There were names he had for her -- secret name only they knew. He called her "Kitten" and "Princess" and "Little Darlin'". Little girls need the tender strength of their fathers. They need to know that their daddies are strong and will protect them; they need to know that their fathers are for them.

Above all, a little girl learns the answer to her question from her father..."Am I lovely?". From our fathers, we learn that we are delighted in, that we are special...or that we are not. How a father relates to his daughter has an enormous effect on her soul...for good or for evil. Numerous studies have shown that women who report a close and caring relationship with their fathers, who received assurance, enjoyment, and approval from them during childhood, suffer less from eating disorders or depression and "developed a strong sense of personal identity and positive self esteem".

Abusive fathers inflict wounds on their daughters souls to their very core. It breaks their hearts, ushers in shame and ambivalence and a host of defensive strategies that shut down our feminine hearts. But at least the assault is obvious. The pain that absent fathers inflict on their daughters is damaging as well, but far harder to see.

The wounds we received as young girls ... brought messages with them...If we were overwhelmed or belittled or hurt or abused, we believed that somehow it was because of us...the problem was with us.




[Edited 3/15/2008 5:47:13 AM]
3/15/2008 5:45:37 AM Ladies!!! Does a woman really look for her father in a man?  

lovemetender4
Urbanna, VA
age: 45

 I know I did, and I'm proud of that fact, and not ashamed to say so....He was a great father, both my parents, were. LMT4
3/15/2008 5:54:43 AM Ladies!!! Does a woman really look for her father in a man?  

gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 44

 In my opinion the answer is that the first man a female leaerns about love from - is shown love by - would be her Daddy.

How a father loves his daughter, how he handles her, how he shows her affection or love or his concern for her well being -

Either through appropriate and wonderful tutelage or through physical violence, abuse, neglect...

This will eventually become how the woman accepts love from an adult man.

This is true over and over and over again.

Men - how you raise your daugthers not only determines the treatment she will seek from a man...but if you raise a princesss - you're deciding how she will behave TO that man.

Teach the way in which you would WANT you daughter to live and love happily.
3/15/2008 6:04:58 AM Ladies!!! Does a woman really look for her father in a man?  

rythmnnromance
Oviedo, FL
age: 47

 If you really want the answer, you may not like what you hear. Leading psychologists claim that; "Women seek to find men who are more like their mothers"

It is a mother who teaches, nutures and shows love and caring skills, she is strong and instills within us virtues and moral values, therefore, Women perhaps most unconsciously are looking for those particular qualities and characteristics in the men they select.
3/15/2008 6:09:10 AM Ladies!!! Does a woman really look for her father in a man?  

rythmnnromance
Oviedo, FL
age: 47

 Men... don't love unconditionally, Men love the challenge and the chase and to conquer.. and then they move on to another challenge and chase. However; (women), mother's do teach unconditional love and if you read the answer to my post you would know why I targeted your comment.
3/15/2008 6:40:36 AM Ladies!!! Does a woman really look for her father in a man?  

jasmom
Quincy, IL
age: 35

 I was referring to you calling someone on here grandma...Have respect and you'll get some in return.
3/15/2008 6:51:53 AM Ladies!!! Does a woman really look for her father in a man?  

proudlysa
Soweto
South Africa
age: 32

 This is very much problematic. You cannot compare your partner with your parent. Never ever do that. It is just a sign that you are still clinging to your parent. Yes, your parent is indeed your role model but do not compare your parent with someone you picked up from the street. You will end up miserable if you substitute you father with your boyfriend. He will surely bully you around eventually. He will use you as an object. He won't see you as a partner. You don't want your boyfriend to treat you like his daugher. Never, never and never !!!!!!

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