6/23/2011 7:35:17 AM |
Stigmaed for life? |
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moonbeams73
Grand Rapids, MN
62, joined Sep. 2009
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My husband committed suicide. Why do people assume we (my kids and I) are someone they shouldn't associate with? This happens when I date someone too. We have worked very hard to accomplish what we have and are a normal family.I know it makes people uncomfortable but I find adult reactions are worse than children's.Why? We're just as sane as the rest of you.Any comments?
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6/23/2011 9:08:08 AM |
Stigmaed for life? |
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mustangwriter
Boerne, TX
57, joined Nov. 2009
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Time to turn that page and find new friends.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
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6/23/2011 9:10:49 AM |
Stigmaed for life? |
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moonbeams73
Grand Rapids, MN
62, joined Sep. 2009
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We did. We found ones who do care and understand. I just don't understand why everyone else judges us so harshly.They don't even take the time to get to know us. They would be enlightened.
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6/23/2011 9:18:07 AM |
Stigmaed for life? |
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mustangwriter
Boerne, TX
57, joined Nov. 2009
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In the future just say "My husband passed". No need to go into details.
If strangers push....Just say "He was very ill and it finally took it's toll".
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6/23/2011 12:57:13 PM |
Stigmaed for life? |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
59, joined May. 2009
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Mustang, what a really great way to handle that.
I'm sorry, Moonbeams, I can't imagine how hard that must be. I can't understand why that should stigmatize you or why people would react that way. Why should it matter why or how something happened, only that it did.
Maybe it's because people have this need to know that death's not going to happen to them or something and if they can somehow work it out that it was someone's fault, then they can somehow avoid it for themselves.
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6/23/2011 1:07:12 PM |
Stigmaed for life? |
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moonbeams73
Grand Rapids, MN
62, joined Sep. 2009
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Mustang, what a really great way to handle that.
I'm sorry, Moonbeams, I can't imagine how hard that must be. I can't understand why that should stigmatize you or why people would react that way. Why should it matter why or how something happened, only that it did.
Maybe it's because people have this need to know that death's not going to happen to them or something and if they can somehow work it out that it was someone's fault, then they can somehow avoid it for themselves.
I agree with you 100%.
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6/24/2011 8:47:35 PM |
Stigmaed for life? |
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2shacks
Concord, NC
54, joined Jun. 2010
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I agree with Mustang...none of their business. When some ask me what happened, I tell them I don't want to discuss right now. I get tired of discussing it. When they find out he had pancreativ cancer that went to the omentum-lungs-base of back/bones, they all go. "Ooo, well, he had no chance anyways. PC is a death sentence. How fast was it?". Hello! Did I ask? Now, its discussed when I want. Someone drilled me Christmas then gave me his unwelcomed input. No one stood up for me. When I told him his thoughts were not asked or welcomed...I was the bad person..
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6/24/2011 9:23:02 PM |
Stigmaed for life? |
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gdaddy47
Columbia, TN
70, joined Sep. 2009
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Glad you found new friends. I know it had to hurt when you found out they weren't really that much of a friend. Other than a simple answer such as those been mentioned, just let it go. I can't understand why anyone would shun you and your family for what happened. God bless.
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6/25/2011 1:09:28 AM |
Stigmaed for life? |
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acads
Saint Paul, MN
62, joined Feb. 2011
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My husband committed suicide. Why do people assume we (my kids and I) are someone they shouldn't associate with? This happens when I date someone too. We have worked very hard to accomplish what we have and are a normal family.I know it makes people uncomfortable but I find adult reactions are worse than children's.Why? We're just as sane as the rest of you.Any comments?
I've read and reread this post over and over again and I just can't come up with an answer to this. I know what your a feeling is as great a loss as anyones'.
I guess you really have to draw strength from within and not care what others think or their perceptions are.
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6/25/2011 1:14:27 AM |
Stigmaed for life? |
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peeps57
Sarasota, FL
60, joined Jul. 2010
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People do not understand that when someone commits suicide it is an illness. America hides any kind of mental issues (including grief), under the rug. No one wants to talk about or embrace it, for what it is. OP I have no words to say to you, but it is their problem, not yours.
Crystal
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