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Forums: Relationships: When You caught yor spouse cheating were You SHOCKED or NOT ?
4/4/2008 11:33:37 PM When You caught yor spouse cheating were You SHOCKED or NOT ?  

singleagain50
Greenville, SC
age: 50
1. Male - Shocked
2. Male- Suspected
3. Female - Shocked
4. Female - Suspected


When You caught your spouse or partner cheating was it really a big shock or were there signs that made you already suspect that it was going on. In my case the signs were there but I ignored them or blamed them on something else. I guess I just didn't want to believe she would do that. When I did catch her I wasn't really shocked, just mostly angry. When I hear some of my friends talking about their situations it seems that most men never suspected anything until their wife/partner left or was caught. But, most of the women seem to have already suspected their husband/partner ? Maybe we men are the dumber sex !!
4/5/2008 5:16:36 AM When You caught yor spouse cheating were You SHOCKED or NOT ?  

slady52
Lake Oswego, OR
age: 55

 I suspected for a year but had no solid proof. I honestly did not think about what I would do if I found the proof.
When I did, I confronted him and her, she was married so I told her I was going to tell her husband. She freaked and physically attacked me. She went to jail that day for assault. He moved out and got her out of jail the next day.

Suspected yes, devastated when it was fact. In reality it would have been easier for me if I had lost him to death.

Now I realize they deserve each other. I deserve so much better.
4/5/2008 5:27:30 AM When You caught yor spouse cheating were You SHOCKED or NOT ?  

spanky100
Cairo, GA
age: 38

 I was told by her mom, but did not want to believe it.
4/5/2008 3:06:38 PM When You caught yor spouse cheating were You SHOCKED or NOT ?  

singleagain50
Greenville, SC
age: 50

 slady- My case was similar to yours. The day I caught her I told her to leave. That was the last day that we lived under the same roof. A couple of years later we were pretty good friends. We had to have contact with each other because of the kids. We stayed good friends until she died two years ago.
4/5/2008 4:12:29 PM When You caught yor spouse cheating were You SHOCKED or NOT ?  

1stfriendship
Atlanta, GA
age: 35

 Hell NO!
4/5/2008 4:33:28 PM When You caught yor spouse cheating were You SHOCKED or NOT ?  

st3v3
Mahanoy City, PA
age: 31 online now!

 I visited a buddy for a day.. came home ..got into an argument and she said.. "I want a divorce".. I replied.. "haha you cheating on me?" She said "Yes.. for 6 months"

Shocked??? Felt sick to my stomach. Had I given her more attention I probably would have noticed it. Opened up my eyes.
4/5/2008 4:37:57 PM When You caught yor spouse cheating were You SHOCKED or NOT ?  

gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 44

 Actually our oldest son told me about it. I was very involved with my career at the time, he was a non-active person, preferring the news and couch in our living room to physical activity...he encouraged me to be active and mingle, socialize and over-work. Finally our son told me Dad was on the computer in the office while I was gone...it had never occurred to me that he would develop a relationship on the Internet - but he had, for six years it had been going on.

Oh well. We never suited each other, have no clue why we married to begin with...

He married her after we divorced, they are quite happy with each other, and she is an excellent step mom to our son.
4/5/2008 9:46:40 PM When You caught yor spouse cheating were You SHOCKED or NOT ?  

puddinpop3
Piedmont, SC
age: 65

 My sons dad had another family. Shocked is not the word for what I felt. I almost lost my mind. I knew about all the affairs but not the other family. Took me a number of years to forgive him and myself. In the mean time I acted like a complete idoit. Almost lost my sons over what? A man that was so spiritual and emotional ill that he could not help himself. Having to deal with his problems without any emotional help (kept things to myself) I almost lost my soul.
4/5/2008 10:17:11 PM When You caught yor spouse cheating were You SHOCKED or NOT ?  

aboomer
Little Rock, AR
age: 45

 When I found out for sure, I was just really pissed. The thought that I had been humping the same hole as the slimebag she was humping just disgusted me. The old story about being a sex partner to everyone she had been with just really disgusted me. After that I was incredulous that she felt that she could better discuss her needs and desires with the slimebag she was humping instead of trying to talk to me. I don`t know if it could be called stupidity on her part, but it sure destroyed any ability on my part in believing anything she told me after that. Just incredulous that she`d bring her stud into my house and be screwing him while our/my daughter was watching, even if she was only three years old. Leaves a long lasting distrust of the opposite sex. Seems like after that all one hears about are all the stories of infidelity and betrayal. Don`t think one should just blame the girls though, for if it wasn`t for those who should have their nuts cut off with a dull rusty knife things like this wouldn`t happen. The difficult part of the whole deal is having to accept the fact that you can`t kill both of then as one has a responsibility to be around for the children. Even then, one has to be on guard as to what the genes hold for the future. Maybe we men really are the stupid ones?????
4/6/2008 12:16:30 AM When You caught yor spouse cheating were You SHOCKED or NOT ?  

ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!

 None of the above. I felt devastated. And relieved because that removed all shred of doubt and trust from the equation. It allowed me to have perfect clarity.
4/6/2008 12:30:14 AM When You caught yor spouse cheating were You SHOCKED or NOT ?  

bry11ca
Wappingers Falls, NY
age: 43 online now!

 I cried. And I NEVER cry.

Liars, cheaters, criminals, abusers . . .

Angels

Bry

4/6/2008 12:40:53 AM When You caught yor spouse cheating were You SHOCKED or NOT ?  

daddyduck
Splendora, TX
age: 54

 Probably no more suprised than if I found out an atomic bomb had gone off under my feet. What do you think Bry if you called your best friend to tell him your wife of 22 years had left you and the 6 year old daughter and my wife was the voice on his answering machine? At that point I started to suspect. ya don't get much past me!

4/6/2008 7:17:05 AM When You caught yor spouse cheating were You SHOCKED or NOT ?  

davewave1
Ann Arbor, MI
age: 61

 No. 2., suspected first, then known. Children knew as well. Over.........
4/6/2008 7:39:16 AM When You caught yor spouse cheating were You SHOCKED or NOT ?  

raven74
Kalamazoo, MI
age: 52

 I am responding to something St3v3 said... "Had he given her more attention he would have noticed". Think about that one. Had you ever thought had I given her more attention she wouldn't have cheated?
I was neglected... made more money. Worked all the time... he pushed me to and said that he would get another job too. Yeah right... I wonder if that was to get me out of the house. He had the kids fooled too even though there were times when they were in the car as he rode one of the women from work around. He later played the innocent. Or tried to not that it mattered. No one questioned him... I had a naive nephew from his side respond apparently to something that my son had sent him ... that had I been a Christian it would not have happened. Yet the two cheaters were. Isn't that funny? The things that come out of the mouths of babes... He was a teen.
4/6/2008 8:04:01 AM When You caught yor spouse cheating were You SHOCKED or NOT ?  

butterflies1
Sacramento, CA
age: 47

 She told me.We were best friends since we were kids.She was the sickly one of the bunch(6)of us.I sent him down to help her move some boxes and one thing led to another and they slept together.I knew as soon as he walked into the house,He headed right to the shower,that's when I knew.Two days later she came up and told me that she did something real stupid.I asked him and he said yes he did.Six weeks later found out that she was pregnant,had the baby,and it happened again.I stayed with him just because she wanted him and what we had.Funny thing was she was also married to our best friend.How can you tell your husband that you are pregnant if he wasn't around for a year.From those encounters came two of the best kids that I could have ever take care of.Oh yeah,I adopted the kids.I let him know that at time of the second encounter that we are playing baseball,it's three strike and your'e out.I found out that I could have gone to his Commanding Officer and report him,but I didn't do that because the position that he had was so high up.He never cheated again because he was not about to loose his family for anyone.


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