| 4/8/2008 10:20:01 PM |
chip on her shoulder |
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harlygirl
Levelland, TX
age: 51
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hello everyone, just to let you know, i'm miss chip on her shoulder. i have a few things to say about me later, but first a few things about justlaidback. ladies this is your knight in shinning armour. this man has so much to give to the right lady. love, commitment, joy, laughter, moon, stars, you name it. gentleman to the T. does not cross the line in any manner. if it was the right time for me i would not let this one go. not many of these out there in the world. i'm not left handed so i'm not in my right mind. too many "if's" in my life right now. if i don't finish what my heart wants me to do that "if" will always be in the back of my mind and that's not fair to him 1st and me. for the first time in my life i have control of me. my divorce was final in oct 07 and yes i'm dealing with this but i have to heal myself. i finally found out what it's like to be able to buy a truck, get a house, buy food, clothes etc without someone holding me back saying i can't do this without him. as to the gentleman that said walk away, sir, we walk different paths, you take your path and i'll take mine but i won't judge you on your choice. for the gentleman that said duct tape and barb wire worked for you, i'm not into bondage. thank you for the ones that said give me some time and don't push & pressure, i think you understand. the lady that said i was wearing a badge of having conrol of my life, thank you. i'm very happy that i can really feel that for the first time in my life. it's like being born again. i'm working on my "chip" and i know that i will be rid of it one day, but i will not promise when. i will not make promises i'm not prepared to fulfill. i know i'm a good person, just not ready to let it all out yet. good luck to you all on your journey to love & happiness for i will be on the journey one day too!
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| 4/8/2008 10:43:51 PM |
chip on her shoulder |
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justlaidback
Lubbock, TX
age: 53
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Thank you for the kind words, no I didn't want to walk away from you but I know there is hope for us one day unless one day another wonderful lady rolls into my life so I might share what I was trying to with you. I know you need your space to heal and I'm not going to get in your way and become a burden. You know you got a taste of what you or the next lady will recieve. I'm back into the world of being alone again and I don't see a lady coming to my rescue. I stumbled across you and what a joy and happiness even you brought to my face thk you. 
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| 4/9/2008 1:32:04 AM |
chip on her shoulder |
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muffycakes
Chanhassen, MN
age: 26
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holy crap this is the sweetest thing that i have ever read, i wish you both the best of luck
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| 4/9/2008 7:43:16 AM |
chip on her shoulder |
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winesong
Bend, OR
age: 60
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Harley...thank you for sharing your feelings with us...
We wish you every good wish for enjoying your new self,
and the new person you are forming within yourself.
Be strong...
There are so many interesting threads on DH that offer ideas,
values,information for your consideration, and new thinking for many people.
enjoy the new you....
Wine
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| 4/9/2008 9:07:14 AM |
chip on her shoulder |
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stormygrl
Longmont, CO
age: 41
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This was a touching story and maybe things will work out with you two in the future, if not being friends is also a great gift.
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| 4/9/2008 9:20:58 AM |
chip on her shoulder |
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elizabeth_a
Tampa, FL
age: 36
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harlygirl, it is wonderful you can come here, express yourself and your knowing what is best for you. It does seriously bother me when another is abused, regarldess of who is the abuser.
My only question, why do people come to dating sites when they KNOW they are not ready. Does one not know the hurt they can cause another. I do not think it is fair to the person on the receiving end who extends themselves to another openly only to be shut down because the other is NOT READY. I do believe we all need to use some good judgement before steppping out in this world regardless of what it may be.
This is not meant as a dig to you harlygirl, yet there are to many instances of this on dating sites. One needs to recognize the damage that can occur.
[Edited 4/9/2008 9:24:42 AM]
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| 4/9/2008 1:01:15 PM |
chip on her shoulder |
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nibblediver
Monticello, MN
age: 45
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Your chip is shrinking.
However - Don't underestimate yourself so much.
Of the kind words you've stated:
You're setting free a man (so to speak) who you don't feel worthy enough for.
Hush to you. Don't share your secrets. Don't share your goodie-bag, don't share your chocolate stash...
Save some for yourself and smell it when you need... Take a little taste teaser here and there... And don't let the chocolate melt by putting it out on the table when it could just as well be held onto by your own two hands... After you rinse them off a little bit at a time so they don't loose their 'total' grip.
The mountain (emotional hurdle) isn't being rained on anymore. Put your face to the sun and close your eyes. Feel the fresh air.
Today, tomorrow, 2 years from now... That freedom will forever remain the same. Why? Because you noticed it and you'll not let yourself down - by letting someone else down... By not sharing all your life's treasures. (Your heart.)
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| 4/9/2008 8:15:44 PM |
chip on her shoulder |
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coppermare
Grady, AL
age: 48
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Harley, I understand exactly where you are and what your feeling. If you ever wanna chat, just holla girl.
Elizabeth, maybe her coming here was the only way she learned she wasn't ready? Sometimes we "think" we are until something triggers some old scars and let's us know we were not as bad as we thought we were. Ya know?
I'm sure she didn't mean for anyone to get hurt, and it seems like he's man enough and wise enough to know the ropes and move accordingly. If nothing else they have both gained great friendships.
Nibble.......WOW, where did that come from? I'm impressed!! LOL
What a GREAT POST to read after all I've been reading lately. True honesty, unselfishness, and openess........thanks guys for a smile
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| 4/9/2008 8:31:48 PM |
chip on her shoulder |
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mag11
New Port Richey, FL
age: 39
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Wow!! How did I know you would show up.......Good luck ...and thanks for not to bad of a ream out...lol Mikey
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| 4/9/2008 9:04:01 PM |
chip on her shoulder |
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lovinglife07
Norfolk, NE
age: 45
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Hi Elizabeth...don't be too harsh. Sometimes we all need to feel the connection out there in order to move in that direction. In other words we all need reassurance once in a while.
I applaud "chip" for her honesty and self discovery!!!!
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| 4/10/2008 4:57:08 AM |
chip on her shoulder |
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elizabeth_a
Tampa, FL
age: 36
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lovinglife, while I dont disagree with you, one also needs to recognize that their lack of common sense can also cause hurt to someone else. There weakness, regardless of the reasons, may directly impact another. It is called being accountable and responsible for what one does. All I said, while I respect her coming forward, she also needs to be mature enough to recognize that she was not ready for the dateing world and should have avoided the dating sites until such time she was able to get past her roadblocks. This man opened himself up to her yet her issues were directly impacting his life in some what of a negative way. Many are still walking in this ME ME ME world.
It is such a sorry state when we cannnot apply the intelligence, human reasoning and common sense God gave us. Especially in relationships.
[Edited 4/10/2008 5:01:38 AM]
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| 4/10/2008 6:13:06 AM |
chip on her shoulder |
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teaurtei
Payne, OH
age: 40
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Don't let the words of others get you down. When you're ready, you'll know. Being out and experiencing life again is the easiest way to find out. What a wonderfully sweet man there is in the wings waiting too to help when you are ready to take that first step of your journey.
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| 4/10/2008 7:58:58 AM |
chip on her shoulder |
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dragonheartpm
Galveston, TX
age: 55
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harlygirl just takes time.That was some really nice words you could tell it came from the heart...Good luck...
[Edited 4/10/2008 7:59:29 AM]
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| 4/10/2008 8:13:28 AM |
chip on her shoulder |
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winesong
Bend, OR
age: 60
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Harley...please try these gloves on for fit..(smooth leather feels right)
AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT,
we are exactly where we are supposed to be...
Learn to trust yourself, and your inner self or feelings.
You may falter, and buck at the thought..
however this is part of developing a new self awareness.
You have to take baby steps, fall down,
pick yourself up and learn to use your legs (inner awareness)
to walk before you can run.
You have to start someplace...you are at the right place..you are
here on DH. There are so many people on DH that are here for friendship,
and not looking to hook up. You should not be EXCLUDED....
Just learn to post, see your inner feelings on paper,
and read,and then repost...it is a learning process.
Wine
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| 4/10/2008 3:27:58 PM |
chip on her shoulder |
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terminalchaos
Tampa, FL
age: 47
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Harleygirl,
a quote from you "i know i'm a good person"
yes, you are and it shows in your post here.
You also achieved something rare.
YOU gave a tremendous compliment to a man that
may be ready for someone such as you ... I think
that "he" ( LaidBack )may think you are worth the wait.
Your heart is a very honest one.
I wish you the very best, young lady.
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