| 9/9/2009 11:54:39 AM |
Weight Shouldn't Matter!!!!! | Page 2 |
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mstlysune
Perrysburg, OH
66, joined Aug. 2009
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Ok, I have something to share, WEIGHT DOES MATTER, It matters to your loved ones, health issues when you get older. I have a friend,his wife is way overweight, she is on 9 different medications, 3 blood pressure medications, and 3 diabetic medications, 1 depression medication, 1 colesterol medication, and 1 water pill.This lady had a major stroke at age 51, she,s 56 now, this stroke left her with slow memory, and a speech defect.Her husband has to take care of her, distibute her 9 medications twice daily, quite a burden for a man who has to do this everyday.Personally i wouldn,t marry an overweight person for this reason. Overweight people must take responsibility for their obesity.Because if you don,t it will catch up to you, when you get older.
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| 9/16/2009 10:57:29 PM |
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acire03
Yellowstone National Park, WY
32, joined Feb. 2009
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weight matters health wise, obvi!
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| 9/18/2009 12:23:51 AM |
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merk135r
Fresno, CA
39, joined May. 2008
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weight matters health wise, obvi!
Uhh, weight matters in attraction too and I'm not going to date someone I'm not attracted to. But I know some people will call me vain and sit on their high horse so here's a reminder of how hypocritical those people usually are.
I don't care how their face looks, what their personality is or anything else. There is no way in hell I would date someone who looked like this.
Something for the ladies
If someone says weight doesn't matter then you are either fat yourself or lying.
[Edited 9/18/2009 12:26:51 AM ]
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| 9/19/2009 8:10:48 PM |
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olddi
Daytona Beach, FL
59, joined Sep. 2009
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I know what Your talking about its all in the looks , I'm old fat BUT a true frined , If ya can get past my looks I'm a fun person to be around  . Thats whats is wrong with the world to everyone wants to be with a model. Well i'm not , I'm just ME ! and and silly ................. di
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| 9/19/2009 8:30:04 PM |
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olddi
Daytona Beach, FL
59, joined Sep. 2009
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And its really makes me mad when slim,thin people think over weight people are lazt and don't take care of there self .Sometimes there is a reason what we are over weight BUT its NOT because We are lazy or don't take care of our self ! I for one put on weight when i'm Happy , when i'm sad I loes weight . Its funny BUT that Me , I had a boyfriend that dump me because I put on weight Thats because I was so in love with him  And to top it off He was way bigger then I could ever get . I have lost 3 sizes I went from 18 to 14 .................. di
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| 9/20/2009 11:26:57 AM |
Weight Shouldn't Matter!!!!! | Page 2 |
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huggz45
Berwick, PA
54, joined Jun. 2009
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Our weight does not make who we are. There are people that like BBW and big men.
I would love to chat with a big teddy bear. I think BBw's know how to have fun with out all the drama of model syndrome. So if you are are teddy bear or like BBW"s look me up.
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| 9/20/2009 11:34:34 AM |
Weight Shouldn't Matter!!!!! | Page 2 |
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huggz45
Berwick, PA
54, joined Jun. 2009
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people are cruel when it comes to BBW's. I was 100lbs thinner when I met my ex hubby, we hit it off so well, and he said the reason i never felt good was cause i did not eat so I started eating to make him happy and now i am alone and he has disappeared off the face of the eat. I can not blame this on him, depression had alot to do with it. I have found there are fun people that are both fat and skinny, but i tend to think heavy people are never ashamed to be around you no matter you size..
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| 9/24/2009 10:22:07 PM |
Weight Shouldn't Matter!!!!! | Page 2 |
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seekingtxcowboy
Rockport, TX
49, joined May. 2007
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my reply to the last statement is I would f**k the woman with the most heart and honesty not judge her by her body. There is more to a woman than her figure and p*ssy. God and men wonder why some women go gay. God what a jerk. I look at a heart and the personality of a guy not his weight and his c*ck. If only men were like that then there would not be so many single men out there.  One more thing there has to be an attraction so yes weight does matter some but should not be the first thing you judge a person on. Some people have medical problems like thiorod. I work with people like that with medical problems and not everyone who is fat is that way because of food addiction. If a person has a real true friend to help them and care about them than it would help the overweight person to loose. I am a sz18 and want to get to a 12or 16. Just be nice folks we all can not be thin. There is way too much focus on being thin these days. Look at all the diet pills and cosmetic surgery out there. 
[Edited 9/24/2009 10:29:17 PM ]
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| 9/24/2009 10:36:19 PM |
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seekingtxcowboy
Rockport, TX
49, joined May. 2007
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To the guy that posted the obsese pics, of course some of us would not go for that much weight but a full figured woman is NOT obese. A person has to be over 300lbs to be that fat. I am way under it. I do exercise and do try hard on loosing.
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| 9/27/2009 1:39:16 AM |
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smartwoman8019
Sacramento, CA
37, joined Sep. 2009
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It is true that weight shouldn't matter. I myself have often said that if you look like Vin Diesel but don't have the personality to match mine then I will not continue to hang out with or date you.
The majority of BOTH genders tend to be superficial. If it is not weight then it is something else. Main stream media is a big contributor to that. All of us wish it was different and that it will change. However, it will not. We will have to adapt to the environment.
Refuse to talk sex during the first few conversation either online or off.
Make a rule about when you are willing to engage in sexual activities and stick to it.
Share your more active hobbies or wishful hobbies. Mine is ice skating and eventually ice hockey.
Develop the ability to be happy and content alone. If you are not happy and content alone then you will not be a partner you will be most likely co-dependent.
Don't lower your standards on personality and compatibility.
Don't change anything about yourself just to make it more 'acceptable' to date you.
Good luck.
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| 9/30/2009 5:04:26 AM |
Weight Shouldn't Matter!!!!! | Page 2 |
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merk135r
Fresno, CA
39, joined May. 2008
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What I constantly hear people say, and it usually comes from fat people, is that "weight shouldn't matter and it's the personality that is important." I don't recall anyone who has ever said that weight matters in finding a partner say that "personality doesn't matter." You have to have both, personality and attractivness. I cannot be with somebody I am not physically AND emotionally attracted to. Both looks and personality matter, unless of course you are fat yourself. Being fat is a sign you have no self respect. Ya, I understand there are the 5% of people out there who really can't control their weight and I understand that almost every fat person believes they fall in that 5% and want to be considered a victim of their gene pool. Reality is something different, however. Most fat people are fat because they are lazy and have bad eating habits, bottom line.
[Edited 9/30/2009 5:10:51 AM ]
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| 10/3/2009 10:03:10 PM |
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shelli63
Greenbrier, AR
54, joined Sep. 2009
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your weight u can always change ''UGLY'' is forever......
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| 10/6/2009 9:55:37 PM |
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saintkingdom
Killeen, TX
37, joined Oct. 2009
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Weight doesn't matter, size and shape does! Listen to my man merk, we are not born fat... well there is the occasional 15lb baby but I digress, being fat is a sign of no self respect. You may say you love and respect yourself but does it show? I am overweight, but I was not always fat. I GOT LAZY!!! Just be honest and decide to change. One step leads to many. In the past two weeks I lost 8lbs(I would have lost more but I gained muscle mass) and three pant sizes, I also must look for a new belt tomorrow. I walk around holding my pants up because I was honest with myself and made a change! I am 6'3" and 340lbs. I can be 280lbs. I WILL BE 280LBS!!! Can you hear that??? Can you hear the love? Can you hear the self respect? I would expect not much less from a potential mate! Sure I have fat friends, I encourage them to join me at the gym but they laugh and say "yeah right!". So in conclusion, stop stuffing your face hole with Twinkies and hit the gym or... shut up and be content with crying yourself to sleep at night! or at least shut up.
mmmmmmm... twinkies...num num num
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| 10/8/2009 11:18:24 AM |
Weight Shouldn't Matter!!!!! | Page 2 |
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toni785
Atlanta, GA
42, joined Sep. 2009
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You are so right. But in the world and crazy times we live people judge other people by the way we look. Im considered a plus size woman and very proud of it. Two years ago I weighed 525 wearing a size 32. Now Im at 195 in a size 12. Im very happy where I am. I dont want to be skinny. Some peoples bodies are not made to be small. But its all about the inside. I always find out how a person is inside thats all that matters to me, and when we all leave this earth trust me GOD does not say " all the skinny people are welcomed " HE looks back over your life and sees what you have done with the life HE gave you. Dont give up there is someone for everyone.
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| 10/17/2009 7:45:41 PM |
Weight Shouldn't Matter!!!!! | Page 2 |
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jboo80
Rockland, ME
37, joined Aug. 2009
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You are so right. But in the world and crazy times we live people judge other people by the way we look. Im considered a plus size woman and very proud of it. Two years ago I weighed 525 wearing a size 32. Now Im at 195 in a size 12. Im very happy where I am. I dont want to be skinny. Some peoples bodies are not made to be small. But its all about the inside. I always find out how a person is inside thats all that matters to me, and when we all leave this earth trust me GOD does not say " all the skinny people are welcomed " HE looks back over your life and sees what you have done with the life HE gave you. Dont give up there is someone for everyone.
CONGRADUALTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good job! 
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| 10/21/2009 3:48:15 AM |
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struckbylightn
Oelwein, IA
61, joined Oct. 2009
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I've noticed that ever since I started searching online dating sites, People are more concerned about a persons weight,and looks instead of wondering if that person would be fun to hang-out with, It's frustrating being judged, even before your profile is read. 
No it should not matter but as the woman who posted first in this thread weight certainly does. I have a friend who's very attractive and she's even dated fat guys in her life. But who did she pick for a long-term relationship? A very handsome guy, athletic, special forces training, really ripped. So even the women who are more receptive to larger men still want the eye candy and will rationalize it till the day they die. All the while making me realize that through my weight loss process (lost 50# since July with another 80 to go)that my expectations need to go up as well. My marketability will increase with each chunk of weight I lose. So it stands to reason that my expectations and demands need to rise in accordance with that increased marketability in the dating world. I can't count on being the average joe who interests the beautiful woman. Not even in my dreams.
[Edited 10/21/2009 3:52:35 AM ]
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| 10/29/2009 5:44:45 PM |
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nerdstatus
Rocklin, CA
40, joined Oct. 2009
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No it shouldnt matter but as most here already said, it seems it does.
Why not? Why shouldn't it matter any more or less than... say... having a financial stability, a good education, good communication skills, mental stability, or a good personality match? Different things are priorities / attractive / unattractive to different people. Who are you to judge what "should" or "shouldn't" be attractive (or unattractive) to someone?
[Edited 10/29/2009 5:46:11 PM ]
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| 11/4/2009 5:47:11 PM |
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sweetadrena
Willoughby, OH
48, joined Nov. 2009
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What a great theory-weight doesn't matter! I have been overweight my entire life, and even now am almost afraid to attempt finding anyone because weight, unfortunately, does matter. To me, I won't even bother looking at men because I am judged. No matter I have been on Weight Watchers twice, Jenny Craig, Formu-3, Physicians Weight Loss, Overeater's Anonymous and was actually hospitalized for deep depression all due to weight. Just eat less and exorcise they say. Gee why didn't I think of that??? Here is the challenge I pose: Please be honest!!!! Guys-would you even LOOK at a woman if she weighs over 250 pounds??? I want honest answers!!
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| 11/5/2009 12:27:24 AM |
Weight Shouldn't Matter!!!!! | Page 2 |
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merk135r
Fresno, CA
39, joined May. 2008
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What a great theory-weight doesn't matter! I have been overweight my entire life, and even now am almost afraid to attempt finding anyone because weight, unfortunately, does matter. To me, I won't even bother looking at men because I am judged. No matter I have been on Weight Watchers twice, Jenny Craig, Formu-3, Physicians Weight Loss, Overeater's Anonymous and was actually hospitalized for deep depression all due to weight. Just eat less and exorcise they say. Gee why didn't I think of that??? Here is the challenge I pose: Please be honest!!!! Guys-would you even LOOK at a woman if she weighs over 250 pounds??? I want honest answers!!
I'll give you an honest answer, HELL NO! Go to a gym and learn to eat right. It's really that simple.
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| 11/5/2009 4:02:45 PM |
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nerdstatus
Rocklin, CA
40, joined Oct. 2009
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Guys-would you even LOOK at a woman if she weighs over 250 pounds??? I want honest answers!!
Look at? Of course I would. Find her attractive = no.
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| 11/5/2009 10:58:44 PM |
Weight Shouldn't Matter!!!!! | Page 2 |
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sweetadrena
Willoughby, OH
48, joined Nov. 2009
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Thank you for your honesty. I suppose I would feel the same way about a guy. So can someone suggest anything that is working for them? I really have tried all sorts of diets and exercise. I have lost weight, gained back etc. I am very desperate to lose. I tried walking and got shin splints. I want to feel attractive again. Please don't just say diet and exercise. I have been doing that my entire life. Can anyone be specific as to what kind of diet or exercise that won't kill me first? lol!! Also, my diebetes is getting in the way. I diet and end up with extreme low blood sugar, don't take my pills and end up with high. I appreciate any help and am thankful for those that answered me honestly.
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| 11/6/2009 8:30:13 AM |
Weight Shouldn't Matter!!!!! | Page 2 |
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ctprincess
Danbury, CT
64, joined Feb. 2009
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I've noticed that ever since I started searching online dating sites, People are more concerned about a persons weight,and looks instead of wondering if that person would be fun to hang-out with, It's frustrating being judged, even before your profile is read.
While you are correct, weight shouldn't matter but unfortunately it does!! People should be looked at for the inner self and not the outer self. Society has put too much emphasis on looks rather than personality. On a personal note, I have a problem with my abs and as a result, I have had much difficulty getting people to realize the wonderful person that I am. 
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| 11/7/2009 12:16:47 AM |
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merk135r
Fresno, CA
39, joined May. 2008
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The problem isn't your abs, it's your diet.
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| 11/7/2009 3:04:57 AM |
Weight Shouldn't Matter!!!!! | Page 2 |
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jammil180
Valdosta, GA
34, joined Oct. 2009
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I believe that weight should very much matter! I've lost 100 lbs over the past 8 years and have no intention to go back. I see what my mother goes through as a result of her obesity. It has been nothing but negativity, self absorbed laziness, and loads of denial from just her. I know of others also who are overweight and are nice, but for me if you've got pending medical problems in your future count me out. We could be friends, but anything more will require more work. It is also my opinion that being overweight covers up your natural beauty under a nasty self imposed veil. I keep getting told when I talk to people that I look younger, healthier, and happier than I was 9 years ago. I figure that with some good strong genes from my parents will let me live strongly for a long time to come. I'm looking for a person who would also be able to keep up with me on this. If you cannot, I'm sorry and I have to move on.
I wish all of you with weight issues the best of luck losing your weight as it is truly a liberating experience to be healthy again. Remember, do it for yourself first as you will be the one who will have to live with yourself the longest. If you are a positive person who gets out there and does for others, people will gravitate to you.
On the grossest note, having sex with someone overweight is a complicated prospect. You can only do certain things, last for so long, and eventually either someone gives up or just does all the work (not fun, imagine having to "take care" of someone like that?)
I've got a ton more reasons to lose weight as they are my personal reasons. I refuse to go back to being heavy again. At my heaviest I weighed 285+. I'm 6' 5" and 185 lbs now. I hope to someday get a six pack. Once again, best of luck to all and have a good weekend!
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| 11/8/2009 12:19:54 PM |
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nerdstatus
Rocklin, CA
40, joined Oct. 2009
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So can someone suggest anything that is working for them?
I'll quote myself in a post very similar to this one:
Best dieting tip:
DIETING IS NONSENSE
If you "diet" to loose weight, you will rebound as soon as you go back to your old diet - which is how you gained that weight in the first place. If you want to loose weight, you must completely change your lifestyle in relation to eating & exercise. Eat healthy meals, in the right portions, and go be physically active every day. The weight will come off, and stay off.
THERE IS NO OTHER HEALTHY WAY TO KEEP WEIGHT OFF
I double dog dare you to find one.
(Noted Exceptions: talking about 'normal' people, not those with medical considerations where surgery or hormone supplement are needed)
Can anyone be specific as to what kind of diet or exercise that won't kill me first?
Here's some tips that work for me:
* Understand this is a lifestyle change. I can't just go on a diet / exercise program, then get off it later without rebounding.
* This isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. Loosing only 1-2 lbs a week is perfectly acceptable. In the end, the race is with myself.
* If incorporating resistance training, measure various parts of your body (waste, arms, legs, neck) - sometimes "weight loss" at the scale doesn't tell the whole story. I frequently will be changing up my weight training (every 4-6 weeks), and there are times where I'm GAINING weight, but loosing inches around my waist / neck etc. This is because muscle is more dense than fat.
* Find a way to hold yourself accountable. This is why Weight Watchers is so successful (and their experience).
* I know it's the fat these days, but carbs aren't that evil. Refined sugars, however, are - get rid of them from your diet completely. Eat complex carbs (fruit, legumes...).
* Get away from saturated & trans fats.
* Learn how to keep a weight loss journal that includes your diet / exercise / weekly weigh ins.
* Water is your friend. 1/2 the time we think we're hungry, we're actually thirsty.
* Eat in proper portions, and eat often. Sumo wrestlers only eat once a day - their goal in life is weight gain - think about it.
* Google is your friend. I've got no doubt there's weight loss forums out there. Better yet, find a diabetics forum, and research weight loss there.
Also, my diebetes is getting in the way.
Talk to your doctor & nutritionist about this. Then ask for a second opinion on both. Remember, 1/2 the medical staff graduated below average. Never ever just take one
"professional's" word for it.
[Edited 11/8/2009 12:21:14 PM ]
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| 11/8/2009 12:29:43 PM |
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nerdstatus
Rocklin, CA
40, joined Oct. 2009
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While you are correct, weight should matter, fortunately it does!!
Fixed!
We're an obese nation. It's not attractive, and it's unhealthy. This notion that weight & fitness shouldn't matter is nonsense. I want an attractive partner, and I want her to take an interest in her health. I'm not going to tell you what you "should" find attractive or not, and for you to tell me what I should find attractive or not is preposterous.
People should be looked at for the inner self and not the outer self.
I look at both. And, I don't understand how you can postulate why I "shouldn't".
Society has put too much emphasis on looks rather than personality.
That's because we're the most obese nation in the WORLD. There's no country fatter than ours. We should be focusing on our health & weight.
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| 11/20/2009 4:44:07 PM |
Weight Shouldn't Matter!!!!! | Page 2 |
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successpartner
Lobelville, TN
59, joined Nov. 2009
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Weight matters. I am morbidly obese. I am not concerned with other peoples opinion but my health. I have been neglectful in putting everyones needs above my own. I am responsible for my obesity. It isn't the thyroid, bad genes, good cooking but me. My name is Mary and I am obese. I have chosen to make my healty a priority and am doing it in small steps because this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I created a dream board of what I wanted and have the WIT what ever it takes attitude. One more block to walk, I set an alarm on my cell to have a four hour window to stop earing before bed. My drink of choice is water, it goes with everything. I have scheduled everything, sleep, meals and exercise. My checkbook has increase and my waist line had decreased. I am not waiting for 2010, I shall shine in 2009. Be honest weight matters. You are a different person when you are thinner and more active and healthier. Be good to your self and do it for the person you see in the mirror. Love yourself and others will too.
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| 11/20/2009 9:22:24 PM |
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flawedbutfun
Pinckney, MI
62, joined Feb. 2008
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 I wish you the best in your new life Mary. It's takes a lifetime commitment and your attitude is what will serve you best...keep posting on how you are doing!
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| 11/20/2009 11:40:11 PM |
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oletafive
Rattan, OK
70, joined Jun. 2007
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Weight matters. Oh not just for dating but for our own self esteem also. Weight matters just as much as having the right haircut or car. But the biggest drawback to overweight social life is " poor." Over weight and poor is a very bad combination and can often be why nobody calls. Also, overweight and a poor negative attitude (complainer) is another social swamp that lets the fish get away. It is also not good to tell lies and be over weight, no one wants to be with a big fat poor liar. But mostly it is attitude that makes a successful partner even if we are fat. Yes I used the "Fat" word. Not the politically correct (If there is such a thing) "Over-weight." But the word Fat is so self humiliating to use. No one wants to be called or even think of themselves as a poor "Fat" person but maybe it is just that word which can be your motivator.
Overweight and poor health issues are not good. We all know about diabetes and heart disease and their relation to over-eating (really the only way to get fat).
But many people are successful daters and life partners who are fat or married to a fat person and their success gives the rest of us hope that we can find just the right person for ourselves. But just by being fat we have changed the makeup of the available potentially interested partners.
The time to start a diet is now. Diet in steps if you must then concentrate on keeping what you have lost until you are ready to lose some more. (I lost 71 pounds and just finished a one month dieting holiday so now I am dieting again).
Good Luck
--=05=--
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| 11/21/2009 8:32:54 PM |
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flawedbutfun
Pinckney, MI
62, joined Feb. 2008
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I too find it somewhat funny that people use the term 'weight' in place of 'fat'. As in I am over weight, or I need to lose weight. Actually they are over fat and need to lose fat. I don't know of too many people that go on a diet to lose water, or lose muscle, or lose bone density...they want to lose fat.
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| 11/22/2009 10:44:43 AM |
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1samantha123
Albany, GA
67, joined Sep. 2009
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Several years ago I met a man that was obese. I thought I would never date someone that was in that kind of shape. I realized that he was charming and very sexy. He won me over. I dated him for 2 years. He moved on to a different location. I miss him.
I wish that people would look past the outer layer of a potential mate, but for the most part, that may not happen in our lifetime.
Good luck.
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| 11/30/2009 11:37:32 PM |
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lilacsnrain
Maryville, MO
66, joined May. 2009
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Weight doesn't matter to some! I don't judge someone by that anyway. What I look for is personality and the way that person makes me feel. Yes, I have had a weight problem (maybe still do, depending on how you look at it). On my wedding day I weighed 135#. Due to being unhappy and feeling a general dissatisfation with myself and my life, I doubled my weight in 2 years. Then kept packing on the pounds until I weighed 385#. Due to many health issues and finally being sick and tired of being "sick and tired", I started losing weight using all the fad diets, etc. When I found none of that worked, I started walking and making wiser food choices. Now I'm down to 215, but still working at it and losing. (used to wear a 5X now down to 18/20. My dilemma... some men won't look at me because I am still "plus sized". Others have said they won't even chat with me online if I don't weigh 250 or more. So, there you go. Where do I fit in? I'm heathier than I've ever been, self-confident, love to dance, etc. Just need a dance partner!!!!!
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| 12/8/2009 2:46:22 AM |
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saintkingdom
Killeen, TX
37, joined Oct. 2009
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if you work hard and make lifestyle sacrifices to be fit and healthy, shouldn't you expect the same from a mate? we know that beautiful and sexy people can be ugly inside but I would rather roll that dice than be with some one who cares so little of themselves that they are or remain overweight/obese. If you think you are big and sexy, well good on you mate! just stop crying that Brad Pitt would never sleep with you... he may love you in a friendly way but that's the line.
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| 12/11/2009 10:37:30 AM |
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abnormality
Greensboro, NC
45, joined Sep. 2009
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Like it or not, Everyone initially Judges based on appearances, is it fair? no, but nothing in life is Fair, Once this is realized things will greatly improve..
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| 12/28/2009 12:37:33 PM |
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blairf83
Lake Orion, MI
34, joined Dec. 2009
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Weight does matter whether we like it or not. If not to somebody else, than it should to you!
I currently weigh considerably more than I should and more than I am sure a lot of people find attractive due to a combination of spinal surgery and changing from a very active job on a horse farm to an office "career". It's not healthy, it's not attractive. I used to be not really skinny but quite healthy and fit before my surgery, and I have found that since putting on the pounds I feel lousy- sluggish, my joints are feeling more wear and tear than they should and I know that with my family's health issues, I am now officially a ticking time bomb.
Being overweight isn't JUST a vanity issue. It is a serious MEDICAL issue. How many serious medical conditions are aggravated/created by obesity?
I've dated guys who were perfectly ok with me being bigger. It was nice to be accepted. but long story short: I didn't WANT to be satisfied with myself being that way, and I didn't want them to accept something that was SO SO SO bad for me.
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| 12/29/2009 2:26:57 AM |
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techgirl27
Bedford, TX
46, joined Dec. 2009
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It IS just a number. I weigh more now than when I finished HS yet I am a size 6 now and was a 14 then. Even when I was a 22, my vital signs all remained in the perfect range, I was still strong, had no digestive or dental issues, and so on.
What really matters is your overall health footprint. How's your skin condition? Stress levels (a big one)? dental health? overall strength? bone health? These things are a much greater indicator of your overall health and any health dangers than a number on a scale. I can be obese by weight with only 8-10% body fat. The healthiest people are.
I can tell if someone neglects their health, and usually their body-fat levels reflect that, but it's not a linear relationship.
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| 4/6/2010 8:14:24 PM |
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valady1919
Bedford, VA
55, joined Mar. 2009
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I just went through this same thing recently...I had a pic of me on my profile on another dating site...I meet a guy...we were getting close...and I told him that I had put on weight due to dealing with the death of my father and other family issues...he told me it did not matter that he liked me for the person I was and not for what I looked like...well long story short..when i sent him pics of me..he thought I lied...and dropped me like a hot potatoe...just what you need when you are an emotional eater.....BUT not this time...this time instead of turning to food..I am turning on my laptop....I found this forum..I am doing reseach of meals...This has been the finally straw that has broke me...I will lose this weight...and I cant wait until I get where I want to be weight wise...I am taking a pic of myself and emailing it to him again...and tell him....your lose bud...told you I could lose the weight..and you lose the one women in the world who really love you.... Sorry but I am still hurt by this some..
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| 5/13/2010 9:09:39 PM |
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rjtlkng
Camas, WA
48, joined May. 2010
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I agree! This way of meeting people is difficult because it is almost like a photo resume.
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| 6/15/2010 11:14:26 AM |
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xxsw33txth1ngxx
Leicester, NC
30, joined Jun. 2010
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Weight Does So Matter! I am Over Weight And Haveing a Baby,It Hard!I Have No Really Meet No One On This Dateing Site.It LikeThey See Your Big Or Thick And Do Not Even Want Be Friends.It Really Hurt The Way Others Act And Look At Me.I Been Big Most Of My Life.I Am Even Biger Now!I Feel Big As a House,Lol!We Have So Much to worry About We Do Not Need Others Picking At Us!I am Here If Some1 Like To Chat. Thank
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| 8/20/2010 12:39:56 PM |
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n2hlth
Riverside, CA
57, joined Aug. 2010
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 I know you probably are running into a few brick walls. First I would like to say maybe you could start by adding something positive to your profile..Make sure it is TRUE about your weight...start by taking small steps to eat a LITTLE healthier. cut out just one bad thing.. no diet will work if it is 2 much 2 fast. as you make changes you see the weight will change. then you can add iinto you profile that u r needing to loose a few pounds and u r working on it yellowbanana: Yes Its sad that people make quick judgements...but alot more will be willing to work with u if they feel u r working on it...LITTLE STEPS R LITTLE STEPS just b honest. Good Luck
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| 8/22/2010 10:09:57 PM |
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lookingtolive2
Middletown, OH
59, joined Aug. 2010
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What I noticed is that many state now into the gym , eating right, want the same.
sorry, but why were u not into that all along.
i am overweight bbw, i try to lose and do, but i bounce the weight too, there are men out there that love bbw , bring them on, as i am here to tell u, i am as sexy and hot as a skinny , a tall, or short gal is . the difference is that i know i am.
THAT is the difference: know it ! feel it! in side of you , men response to me because they see in my pictures. I love myself .
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| 9/13/2010 5:23:17 AM |
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pantyhoses
Dallas, TX
64, joined Jul. 2010
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Baby boomers ??? Well this is my point od view about weight not to point the finger but for suport and I am going to give it to u straight if u are over weight u will live a very unhealthy lifestyle fluild will surround your heart your feet will become swollen from the extra salt countdown two to5 extra sweet and lows no good. Cancer will be waiting or thelike I can go on and on but wait donot lose the weight for others lose it for yourself gooD luck in your journey
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| 10/10/2010 5:10:15 AM |
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kindheart222
Sonoma, CA
29, joined Jul. 2010
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Yea i feel you same thing happens to me =(
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| 10/11/2010 12:24:34 PM |
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1tamedbear
Jacksonville, NC
42, joined Oct. 2010
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 i agree, a persons inside their personality, sinceraty, is truely what makes a person beautiful, not what they look like on the outside. i think its pathetic that people spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on fake breasts, liposuction, to try to get noticed. what ever happened to a real woman comfortable in her own skin
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| 10/25/2010 9:31:11 PM |
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faye_yel
Lindale, TX
48, joined Jul. 2010
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not a true fact..trust me i do know..i am not limited to as much as YOU would think from this statement you made.No I am limited due to being run over by a car.and men are all about how hot a woman looks...i have since the first of june gone frome a size 22 to a size 15..yes i needed it but for me it was hard to do so cuz i couldnt walk for months..but the men and women i come across who look at the outside before the inside are shallow and sad....i am not tryin to be mean i am just tellin you from a Fat persons perspective..
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| 10/27/2010 10:32:22 PM |
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lkocher
Salt Lake City, UT
39, joined Dec. 2009
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Hey Merk,
Would you date a girl who's 5'5", currently 165 which is overweight by the BMI scale but who has changed her diet and who does go to the gym every day for an hour and a half? She's lost 31 lbs so far.
Would you see the potential in her? Or would you write her off? She's likely to succeed and be that skinny girl you're looking for, she's just not there at this very moment.
And not lazy, not by a long shot.
Curious.
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| 10/30/2010 11:00:29 AM |
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nicolebthatsme
Cedar Springs, MI
41, joined Oct. 2010
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It is a sad fact that people are judged by this. But everyone has something that they judge others on. If not weight maybe job, smoking, drinking, age.... the list goes on and on. I know that I can be judgmental at times as well but I do try to be mindful. I think that weight is not something that should be looked at so badly though, our bodies change with every year we get older. Nobody stays a size 2 and perky.
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| 11/3/2010 12:08:03 PM |
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merk135r
Fresno, CA
39, joined May. 2008
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Hey Merk,
Would you date a girl who's 5'5", currently 165 which is overweight by the BMI scale but who has changed her diet and who does go to the gym every day for an hour and a half? She's lost 31 lbs so far.
Would you see the potential in her? Or would you write her off? She's likely to succeed and be that skinny girl you're looking for, she's just not there at this very moment.
And not lazy, not by a long shot.
Curious.
IDK, BMI is pretty much worthless because it is a height/weight ratio that doesn't take into account lean body mass. According to the BMI I am fat and overweight.
I would have to meet her to know the answer to your question but chances are if she is overweight I wouldn't be attracted to her. Besides, the fact is that a large majority of people who start diets and workout routines to lose weight aren't successful regardless of their intentions because they either don't know what they are doing, lose motivation or both. So saying they she will do this and will accomplish that is really a broken record that I've hear a thousand times yet rarely seen accomplished.
[Edited 11/3/2010 12:13:03 PM ]
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| 11/3/2010 5:30:27 PM |
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lkocher
Salt Lake City, UT
39, joined Dec. 2009
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I think that's a discouraging and pessimistic outlook on life and on people in general.
To all those beautiful people out there who struggle with weight, I hope you don't see Merk's viewpoint as being representative of everybody.
I say you can do it. Let's prove him wrong!
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| 11/4/2010 10:14:13 AM |
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dragonfish308
Palm Springs, CA
44, joined Jun. 2010
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What Merk is saying is true. Throw away all the "infomercial" diet and exercise routines you've heard or seen. If one is really interested in shaping or building their bodies, then the first step before you begin anything is an honest desire, for whatever reason, to do it. Second and no less important is research. Excercise is required, but no matter how much exercise is done there is one constant simple equation that YOU MUST FUNDAMENTALLY UNDERSTAND. Here it goes:
Formula 1 - More calories in(your body) than expended = weight gain
Formula 2 - Less calories in(your body) than expended = weight loss
If all you ate all day long was chocolate cake, but you used more calories than the chocolate cake was providing you'd still lose weight. Conversely, if you ate the healthiest meals you could possibly find and it totalled more calories than you were using then you'll still gain weight.
One last recommendation; most people that are over weight usually start with aerobic exercises (running, treadmill, bikes, etc.) That's good, but if you don't incorporate weight training IN ADDITION to your aerobic workouts I feel you're doing yourself a disservice. Your progress will come much faster by adding the weights, this goes for women too.
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| 11/4/2010 12:25:52 PM |
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lkocher
Salt Lake City, UT
39, joined Dec. 2009
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You know, I agree with you Dragonfish, but Merk is basically saying that most of the people who undertake a weight loss program are basically uneducated folks who will fail because they can't figure this out. And he won't even look at the potential in a girl he's dating.
Now, I have personally gone to college, taken nutrition classes and physiology classes, done weight training and other training with professors in the subject, educated myself and wrote an exercise program that is being used nationally in physical education programs to combat childhood obesity.
I am fighting a weight problem due to a combination of a sports injury, medication and what were bad eating habits.
Am I going to fail because of ignorance or lack of motivation? No! Am I lazy? No! I've lost 32 lbs. I'm at 163. I go to the gym every day and my diet has changed drastically.
I'm proud of myself and everyone on this board who is fighting this battle along with me and who are brave enough to share their milestones. I see the beauty and potential in each one of them.
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| 11/4/2010 2:33:14 PM |
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dragonfish308
Palm Springs, CA
44, joined Jun. 2010
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Well, I didn't get the impression from his post he was trying to imply everybody that was trying to lose weight is uneducated. It sounded more like he was trying to say a lot of people don't take the time to really find good sources of information about dieting and exercising.
I don't think you can fault a person for know what he or she does/doesn't like in a person's physical attributes or otherwise.
It sounds like you have the basis for going about achieving your goals the right way. So, all I can say is keep it up and I wish you success.
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| 1/11/2011 10:06:01 AM |
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kar1sma
Clifton, NJ
40, joined Nov. 2010
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WOW!!! 
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| 1/12/2011 12:24:05 AM |
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merk135r
Fresno, CA
39, joined May. 2008
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You know, I agree with you Dragonfish, but Merk is basically saying that most of the people who undertake a weight loss program are basically uneducated folks who will fail because they can't figure this out. And he won't even look at the potential in a girl he's dating.
Now, I have personally gone to college, taken nutrition classes and physiology classes, done weight training and other training with professors in the subject, educated myself and wrote an exercise program that is being used nationally in physical education programs to combat childhood obesity.
I am fighting a weight problem due to a combination of a sports injury, medication and what were bad eating habits.
Am I going to fail because of ignorance or lack of motivation? No! Am I lazy? No! I've lost 32 lbs. I'm at 163. I go to the gym every day and my diet has changed drastically.
I'm proud of myself and everyone on this board who is fighting this battle along with me and who are brave enough to share their milestones. I see the beauty and potential in each one of them.
What I said is true. I wasn't talking about everyone I was talking about MOST people. Obviously there are exceptions to this rule but that doesn't change the statistics. Most people who try to lose weight fail or just gain it back. I've taken the classes you are talking about and I would think that someone of supposedly your expertise would know that.
[Edited 1/12/2011 12:26:07 AM ]
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| 1/18/2011 3:17:22 PM |
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johnnytarzan
Somerdale, NJ
27, joined Jan. 2011
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Weight doesn't matter--body composition and measurements are what matter.
Actual weight just gives you an idea of the person.
If you know their height, body fat %, and weight, THEN you can get a very good idea.
If you know their measurements (hips, waist, bust/chest (women/men), thighs), you can then pretty much see what they look like without evening seeing them.
[Edited 1/18/2011 3:18:05 PM ]
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| 1/30/2011 8:19:34 PM |
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indianadave1951
Mishawaka, IN
66, joined Dec. 2010
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I've noticed that ever since I started searching online dating sites, People are more concerned about a persons weight,and looks instead of wondering if that person would be fun to hang-out with, It's frustrating being judged, even before your profile is read.
Personally we need to realise that it is human nature to want a partner with a proportional body ratio. I watched a video on Turner Medical Channel several years ago on this subject and numerous surveys have been done world wide. World wide men rated women with a 0.7 waist to hip ratio (waist circumference that is 70% of the hip circumference) as more attractive than any other ratio, bigger or smaller. No, anarexic is not viewed as hot or attractive. This is also seen throughout history. It is the way we are and how we as humans percieve each other. Arguing against this is arguing against our own human nature.
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| 1/30/2011 8:20:01 PM |
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indianadave1951
Mishawaka, IN
66, joined Dec. 2010
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Twenty-five years ago I read an article by a doctor of internal medicine When dieting, by day 5, the body moves into, what is called, starvation mode. The body tries to burn muscle and preserve fat. In a nut shell he said to diet for 5 days and then eat regular for 2 days. I tried this and for the first few weeks I gained back the 3 pounds (or so) that I lost. By one month I saw a glimmer of hope. I'd loose 3 pounds during the week and only gain back 2. WHile this seems small it turned into 4 pounds over the next 4 weeks. Over two months I lost the 20 pounds I wanted to loose. There are two things to remember:
1. On the 2 days of eating regular this doesn't mean ordering BIGGY everything. NORMAL. And stay away from fast (fat) food.
2. If one returnes to eating what one did before with no type of exercise the weight will return. A complete lifestyle change is in order.
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| 4/14/2011 4:59:34 AM |
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chris9231990
Monroe, NY
27, joined Mar. 2011
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I am with you way over 100% on this. I get rejected so much cause of the way i look from my weight. Looks dont mean much in relationships.
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| 4/14/2011 11:56:24 AM |
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merk135r
Fresno, CA
39, joined May. 2008
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How much looks mean to someone in a relationship depends entirley on individual preference. No one can tell anyone else what they should and should not prefer in a potential partner. If someone is upset that people will not date them because of their body weight then they can either choose to complain or do something about it.
With that said, most people consider health to be an issue when deciding whether or not to have a realtionship with someone. Now, you can have high body weight and still be healthy, however, that is usually not the case because the main reason for high body weight in America is because of obesity and high body fat percentage. It's no secret that people who are overweight are at higher risk for developing diabetes and cardiovascular diseases. Weight isn't just an aesthetic issue, it is potentially a health issue as well.
[Edited 4/14/2011 12:02:07 PM ]
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| 4/29/2011 12:31:50 PM |
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dph123
Carson, CA
26, joined Apr. 2011
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Srry my friend we live in a world full of shallow people
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