Why do women pick losers over great guys?

7/11/2007 5:40:41 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
loverboy2007 Edinburg, PA 40, joined Jun. 2007	Why do women say they want a great guy (ME) but only go out with losers? Women say they want a man that has a good job, are honest, are good looking, are faithful and will spend time doing things with them and be a great father...and so on....BUT...these same women will pass up a great guy (ME) for a loser...Loser = no job, dead beat dad, drunk, rude, not attractive, lies and doesn't spend time with her...THEN....women have this stunned look and ask why doesn't he love me why won't he spend time with me blah blah blah???? So ladies and Gentle man lets here your opinions! Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
7/11/2007 5:53:19 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
amethist Chickasha, OK 44, joined Jun. 2007	For me it was usually that the guy seemed to be a great guy, then later just when you think you have everything you could ask for in a guy he turns in a loser. Both of my husbands had good jobs, we're nice looking, spent time with me and seemed to be honest. After a year and a half with the first one is when he changed and stopped working, stopped being honest and stopped spending time with me or his daughter. The second one waited just long enough for me to get pregnant before he did his 180. So it's not aways us picking the great guy over the loser by choice but us being fooled into what kind of guy we're getting.
7/11/2007 5:55:36 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
lpool52 Warwick, RI 63, joined Jun. 2007	Men have been asking your question for thousands of years.
7/11/2007 6:01:51 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
chinatown_girl Oyster Bay, NY 27, joined May. 2007	good answer amethist!!
7/11/2007 6:03:35 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
redhead36 Seagoville, TX 45, joined Jun. 2007	Amet--You said it girl Well, there are blatant losers and then there are those losers that are very sneaky and deceitful.. My ex husband had a great job, car, all that and in the beginning he pretended to be everything any woman would want.. Affection, attention, great lover, took care of me, showered me with love.. Gave me baths, brushed my hair, everything, he took care of every need. Then the nightmare started, about two years after we were married little things started to change, he became withdrawn, angry(kicked the dog), got habitual speeding tickets, started to pout, never spent time with me, started to mistreat me. So sometimes what you see is not what you get.. And a "loser" can have a job, a great job, and still be a terrible father and husband.. A "loser" is not always easy to spot... [Edited 7/11/2007 6:05:46 PM ]
7/11/2007 6:06:54 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
missmatch Cleveland, TN 59, joined Jun. 2007	i have no idea why women do that...be patient, i believe everything happens in its own time... if those are your children, you are fortunate, they are precious...
7/11/2007 6:26:15 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
sadhotelroom Hollidaysburg, PA 31, joined Jun. 2007	a loser usually sucks you in.... somehow someway.
7/11/2007 6:37:44 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
unslightlynorml Seaside, OR 51, joined Apr. 2006	Women ask the same questions about men. Why do men love the b*tchy self absorbed user-loser females instead of the heart of gold types? Both sides are guilty and both have good qualities. All women are not one way, all men are not one way..........but if we continue to use blanket comments, questions, statements to cover one gender than it will be much harder to meet "the one" and be happy.
7/11/2007 6:40:59 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
melbie7769 Grand Junction, CO 38, joined May. 2007	I have to agree with Amethyst and Kim!!!!!!!!! You girls hit it right on the nail!!!!!
7/11/2007 6:43:22 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
january1 Monroe, NY 65, joined May. 2006	Well at the time they seemed like great guys and did not show there true colors so to speak until I saw them for who they really are!!!! Jan
7/11/2007 6:48:20 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
ltrminded Stroudsburg, PA 60, joined Mar. 2007	Amethist and Candel - I agree!! You think you have the perfect match and when you try to strike it it just fizzles out on ya'! I too was fooled by the nice guy turned 180! Except it did last for about 5 years then after my (ooopps! our) daughter was born he just pulled away, hid for 10 years and then ran!! Let me tell you it was lots of fun!!! {absolute sarcasm}
7/11/2007 7:12:46 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
loverboy2007 Edinburg, PA 40, joined Jun. 2007	Yes those are my little angles...and I thank God for blessing me with them every day! I think it’s great to get others thoughts on this topic and it’s intriguing to see all your opinions. I think I should have been more specific about the “loser” and said the obvious loser that is out there for all to see…but either way…I get it.
7/11/2007 7:21:29 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
chinatown_girl Oyster Bay, NY 27, joined May. 2007	even "obvious losers" probably r showing a different side to the girls than others see.
7/11/2007 7:23:34 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
silvereagle55 Ashland, OH 60, joined May. 2007	WELL AMETHIST YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD.SORRY YOU HAD TO DEAL WITH A DEAD HEAD.MAYBE UR LUCK WILL CHANGE. I HOPE SO.(UR VERY PRETTY)U DESERVE BETTER....
7/11/2007 7:57:41 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
lookingfornow New Carlisle, OH 63, joined Jun. 2007	i think it's the fingure nail polish fumes that fry their brains just kidden, i agree with ya all.
7/11/2007 8:13:17 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
amethist Chickasha, OK 44, joined Jun. 2007	Thanks silver. I've learned to take my time and really get to know them better before comiting to anyone.
7/11/2007 8:25:42 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
lunawoman Whittier, CA 54, joined Jun. 2007	Some men become too needy, a woman is more attracted to a strong and self relliant person. [Edited 7/11/2007 8:28:26 PM ]
7/11/2007 9:57:18 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
chopperbabe Overland Park, KS 55, joined Feb. 2007	Couldn't of said it any better amethist!!! However, I am thinking that we married the same men.
7/11/2007 10:48:34 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
stedmo Phoenix, AZ 60, joined Jul. 2007	I've been dumped for being too nice or just to sweet of a guy. Giving too much. Its not what a woman wants innately. They want the challenge to mold and change the the unruly beast into a nice domestic guy. Its all screwy
7/11/2007 11:53:57 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
oldfashionedgrl Bonney Lake, WA 53, joined Jul. 2007	Amen Ladies. I think it's all about the chase. Men treat you well up front...wine & dine you, throw in some romance and once they get what they were chasing, the chase is over. Real life steps in and it's no longer fun, it's commitment, responsibility, etc. My ex treated me like a queen before we were married. As soon as those vows were taken, the courting was over and he didn't have to do things for or with me any more. He actually told me that. I went from the top of his priority list, crashing down to the bottom, until it was finally over. If I hadn't been truly committed, it would have been over long before it was. He eventually cheated which was the last straw for me. It's sad really. I would rather have a man who treats me the same way from day one. At least that way I'll know what to expect and if he treats me poorly, I know he's not the one for me. If he treats me well and continues to do so...he just might be a keeper. Guys...you may not understand that, but it kind of goes back to the old saying of take a walk in my shoes. I'm stopping here...this is a hot topic for me. I would love to have a good guy...a truly good guy. I felt like I'd been married to a stranger all those years and feel that way even more so today. Breaks my heart if I really start to think about it...so I try not to. I've tried to move past it, however, my life dream was totally shattered and every once in awhile, it creeps up on me.
7/12/2007 8:22:53 AM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
stilwater4u Riverview, FL 66, joined Mar. 2007	hea ,eaven a looser can get luckey ,they could turn out to be a winner with the right lady .
7/12/2007 9:02:43 AM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
j_mo Oklahoma City, OK 55, joined Jun. 2007	While I agree with what the ladies are saying about some jerks managing to behave like a good guy long enough to fool us, I have been giving consideraton to some other factors I believe play a part in some bad choices by some women (including myself) regarding some guys. Note all the "somes." I think that sometimes some women (& men too) restrict the pool of available potential partners to choose from by the choices they make for their own lives and how they choose to live them. For example -- a woman could like to have a few drinks and dance so she meets a lot of men in a bar atmosphere. Now... they both may be very responsible people who just happen to have gone out twice in one year, had a drink and took a few turns on a dance floor. But the odds are probably better than one or both of them have a drinking problem or at least may wind up with a DUI which can create other problems and stress in one's personal life... a snowball effect if you will. Sometimes innocent actions and decisions which seemingly have very little impact on our daily lives can actually have huge repercussions. See where I'm going with this?
7/12/2007 11:29:53 AM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
kjsabatovich Alma, MI 33, joined May. 2007	i think it goes both ways. great men pick beautiful women who also happen to be the meanes, rudest, most obnoxiously bossy people....they dont like us women who are nice, respectful and a little ugly....(remember the song: if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty women your wife....get an ugly girl to marry you!) and i think some women will just settle with what they think they can get. i know ive done it twice. if a girl gets remotely swept off of her feet, she is putty in the guys hands.... and thats when the trouble starts!t
7/12/2007 11:45:14 AM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
sumbeach063 Columbia, SC 52, joined May. 2007	Hey wait one min there I told him he could have that damn, play dough back.... I had made all the monkies I needed.... LOL
7/12/2007 12:39:09 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
totalpackage38 Durham, NC 47, joined Apr. 2007	Well when losers are what she is use to then when a great guy comes along she don't know how to handle him so she let him get away and thats all to it
7/12/2007 1:40:50 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
the_music_lord Kennesaw, GA 42, joined Jul. 2007	Every male I know ask that same question . It is indeed a great puzzle I doubt will ever be solved .But several women I know have told simply put guys that are honest nice and sincere are boring .Guys that will lie cheat and abuse they say are more exciting to be with and when I ask why they can't even honestly tell me . For example the last woman I dated would complain because I held doors for her and paid for things when I took her on dates .The only complaint I have ever had from any woman I have ever dated is that I am to nice .I then watch some of these same women date guys who beat them cheat on them and take there money and when they complain I ask why don't you leave him then and the answer is always because I am in love so go figure .
7/12/2007 1:43:40 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
onlytruth Saint Paul, MN 41, joined Jul. 2007	This kind of falls under the 2 faced problem.When yo start to date someone they alway put on a false face that really is not who they are.Most of the time they keep this fake ID up and thats what we fall in love with.Its not till much later that we get to see who they really are and at this point we realise that we chose wrong. Its not just women who make this mistake.Its a common problem in relationships. The key to finding out if your getting to know the real person or their false fassad is asking the right questions , and keeping sex out of it.Sex blinds us to what we should be looking at. I am at peace with my past now and I am more then happy to move on.But I will be doing things a little more different this time around. Chris
7/12/2007 1:49:08 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
sumbeach063 Columbia, SC 52, joined May. 2007	Good for you Chris... Hugs Debra
7/12/2007 2:13:33 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
tarheeltraci Burlington, NC 56, joined May. 2007	It's a talent...lol
7/12/2007 2:50:07 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
singlennj Budd Lake, NJ 56, joined Mar. 2007	Ok, getting out my Knights Armor..... No not to save any one here.... To protect myself from the beating your gonna give me...... I have never seen a woman fall for a loser or bad boy that didnt know it to begin with. He would treat others and her miserably and I have seen the women laugh it off like it the funniest thing. I have seen guys slap a woman in public and she makes excuses for him. Years later she is wondering how he is hitting her now. Where did that come from, they ask? Everyone is going to have reality and commitment. I was a bit surprised to read that. It is both parties to make that fun. It is not an awful thing, it should be protected and cherished. If it is not you have to ask are you with the right person. What are you missing. Can you bring it in or back into the relationship. No one can make you happy. You can enjoy the happiness they bring into your life as you do to them. Closing lid on helmet. [Edited 7/12/2007 2:50:46 PM ]
7/12/2007 2:54:32 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
j_mo Oklahoma City, OK 55, joined Jun. 2007	I think you may be right. I knew mine's history but "he's changed." Yeah... right... uh-huh... sure... and then you woke up. I can see your point.
7/12/2007 2:59:26 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
melbie7769 Grand Junction, CO 38, joined May. 2007	Everyone has a right to their opinion that's for sure!!! When my ex husband caved in my face he never ever disrespected or hurt me in anyway it was outta the blue and well I guess some would say i deserved it but no one knows what really happened on that one so well to me it will always be a mystery and that one time was enough for me I let him go to prison and well i haven't talked or seen him in um well like 5 years yeah its nice tooo!!!!
7/12/2007 4:41:43 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
chinatown_girl Oyster Bay, NY 27, joined May. 2007	thats the same thing with my friends husband, we all hung out together before they got married before they even were dating. when he hit her it was out of the blue. though i would consider an abusive guy a loser, i wouldnt put someone unemployed in that same category. ppl who are good workers r being "downsized" FIRED by their bosses not because they did anything wrong but because of greedy bosses. if i was dating someone and they lost their job i wouldnt dump him and if i met someone who was unemployed i wouldnt assume they were a bum.
7/12/2007 5:13:32 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
melbie7769 Grand Junction, CO 38, joined May. 2007	This seems to fit jus a little though!!! ROFLMAO [Edited 7/12/2007 5:18:09 PM ]
7/12/2007 5:15:34 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
chinatown_girl Oyster Bay, NY 27, joined May. 2007	hahahaha fried chicken tonite!
7/12/2007 5:20:45 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
dolphins1973 Midlothian, VA 42, joined May. 2007	ok im offended mel you know I have chicken leg lol ..... bsides I thought that night stalker was your favorite game.
7/12/2007 5:24:19 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
sumbeach063 Columbia, SC 52, joined May. 2007	Well some one grab his legs and lets make a wish, Love ya doplh....Hugs Beach
7/12/2007 5:36:54 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
metu Auburndale, FL 54, joined Apr. 2007	Are you looking for the WISH bone, Beach? lol
7/12/2007 6:00:13 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
melbie7769 Grand Junction, CO 38, joined May. 2007	Well Dophin i wasn't gonna bring up that leg Baby but since you did you can't be mad at me!!! The night stalker game was your idea i jus liked the ending of the Game!!!
7/12/2007 6:19:49 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
melbie7769 Grand Junction, CO 38, joined May. 2007	No comment Now Dolphin?!??!!
7/12/2007 6:27:32 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
singlennj Budd Lake, NJ 56, joined Mar. 2007	there are some who show no signs. You have to wonder what threw them off from what you know. Was it work, stress, feeling trapped in something they didnt want, or complete jerks. I am sorry for your experiences to the ladies just above me. i_ho I think that may be one of the worst types. Because you trusted so much that they would or have changed. It really stabs at you later on how you could be fooled so easily into believing and trusting. You had signs and still fell for it. Where is your decision making capabilities. Been there, done that.
7/12/2007 6:44:03 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
melbie7769 Grand Junction, CO 38, joined May. 2007	The only thing i feel bad about is that i did trust him but i didn't give him the chance to change i left i don't feel as if i need to wait around and "see" if he'll hit me again not wanting to find out!!! I have been through the total opposite and did stick around but if you haven't been in the situation then you really don't have any room to talk so please even in your opinion it is a very closed opinion!!! I don't think that years and years of abuse consitutes others to down you for living up to your vows and if we didn't you would down us for that too!! Another catch 22 damned if ya do and damned if ya don't!!! So do we live up to our vows (considering this would be a mental illness hence "in sickness and in health") or do we go outside of the marriage hmmmmm geee in your eyes there is no answer for us!!!!! I did get out and I am stronger than I have ever been and I will not live that life again!!!!!! I bowed out on my marriage hmmmm so should i have stayed???? to be beaten? not this girl not no more!!!!!
7/12/2007 7:15:12 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
the_music_lord Kennesaw, GA 42, joined Jul. 2007	Melbie am glad you got out of that situation I don't see how anyone could fault you for leaving that .I have more than one female friend who seem to go from looser to looser and when they get beat up and in one case hit all over with a baseball bat and had a metal pole shoved up between her legs I still had to talk her into calling the police and pressing charges on him .What is even worse is that isn't the first time he beat her then what happened ? 3 months later she was back with him . He was only in jail over night then all he got was a fine and some probation . Weak women stay with an abusive looser and strong women do what you did Leave the situation because you can't get hit if your not there . So I commend you on leaving the guy that did that to you and think more women should follow your lead .
7/12/2007 7:18:58 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
melbie7769 Grand Junction, CO 38, joined May. 2007	Well thanks to you!!!! Hope you are having a great day!!!
7/12/2007 7:38:59 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
the_music_lord Kennesaw, GA 42, joined Jul. 2007	Your welcome hope you are having a most excellent evening . Life is to short to try and put yourself through pain and anger .Regardless of what some women think there is nothing cool,funny or adventerous about dating or marrying a guy that is going to abuse you in any way shape or form . There is no love in abuse .Most women that date guys who beat and abuse them or cheat on them and cause them endless pain have guys around them that care for them and would treat them like a princess if that woman would only give that guy a chance .But for some sad reason even though that guy that is there for you when you need him that would do anything in the world to take away your pain and accept you for you .And see you in his mind and heart as the most incredible and gorgous woman on the planet weather your looking your best or weather you haven't slept in 3 days because of some crises or another and come to him with a tear filled face well you never seem to give him a chance .I say to all the women reading this that is tired of getting hurt time and time again to open your eyes and look around and I bet you that you will find that person it is probably someone you have known for ever and is there for you no matter what .So do yourself and that person a favor and open up let him in give him a chance to show you what he thinks of you and how he will treat you before it is to late and that chance is gone . And any guys reading this there is probably a woman out there that is that way for you as well open your eyes . Time is fleeting and before you know it in the blink of an eye that opportunity that was there all those years will be gone and the only looser will be you .I am not trying to offend anyone just trying to get people to open there eyes and realize what may be there right under your nose that you are to stubborn to see .
7/12/2007 8:13:15 PM	Why do women pick losers over great guys?
melbie7769 Grand Junction, CO 38, joined May. 2007	I would love to find a guy like that and well i don't have any guy friends that i would risk my health with the are all man whres!!!! Plus i don't want to live here in colorado anymore so i don't wanna settle down with the "guy next door" Right now I am jus enjoying what i have right now and working my a* off to get where i want to go so "finding someone" is well in the works but at the same time not the only thing i'm doing right now!!!

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