| 9/28/2012 9:30:04 PM |
Widow of one year |
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nana8035
Buffalo, NY
73, joined Jan. 2012
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who knew it would be so hard toget thru the 1st year. any suggestions?
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| 9/28/2012 11:13:46 PM |
Widow of one year |
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justjimmy2
Arizona
Argentina
64, joined Aug. 2012
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I just try to stay busy and close to my family and friends
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| 9/29/2012 4:43:15 AM |
Widow of one year |
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gentlebear1949
Apple Creek, OH
68, joined Jul. 2008
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Contact a local Hospice Grief Counselor. It's absolutely free and is quite effective in helping one deal with grief.......
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| 9/29/2012 5:02:15 AM |
Widow of one year |
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takenbyone
Sarasota, FL
60, joined Sep. 2011
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The first year is facing reality--they are GONE-
The second year is all about finding yourself--
The third year--is coming to terms and realizing that most have moved on--and at some time we realize--we must to--I am finally getting there.
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| 9/29/2012 12:20:44 PM |
Widow of one year |
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gdaddy47
Columbia, TN
70, joined Sep. 2009
online now!
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Simply put, the first years stinks. You've probably gotten over feeling guilty for smiling and laughing and having a good time again. Their death is always close for the first couple of years. It is what it is.
Just know that others have gone through it and you will be fine yourself. You'll probably make a whole knew group of friends. That's normal. Take care of your health and money. Meditate, pray or whatever but you have to realize that you're NOT alone in the world in a manner of speaking. One day you'll meet someone and my advice is to go slow.
Hang in here and read and participate in these forums. Don't make it your home. Get out and go thru the motions of enjoying yourself. Do things you've always wanted to. It's hard to do it but it's worth it. You need your feeling of independence.
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| 9/30/2012 3:16:51 PM |
Widow of one year |
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jaclaff
Buffalo, NY
69, joined May. 2010
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It will get easier but never be easy....13 years and still hard but manageable..Lifew goes on ..But does it have to be alone??  I hope not..
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| 9/30/2012 3:57:23 PM |
Widow of one year |
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24milkduds
Vallejo, CA
58, joined Mar. 2012
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 I find the 2nd year is just as hard..hang on it suppose to get easier.
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| 10/3/2012 3:04:10 AM |
Widow of one year |
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runzwithscizzor
South Padre Island, TX
52, joined Jul. 2012
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I just passed the one year mark. Most of which, I might add, was spent simply reminding myself to breathe...now I am venturing...(with baby steps mind you)into this new normal that seems to greet me every morning. Be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself, and never forget that whatever helps you through this is perfectly OK, whether others understand or not. Peace and healing going out to you
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| 10/3/2012 4:12:45 PM |
Widow of one year |
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landerrancher
Lander, WY
64, joined Sep. 2011
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The first year is facing reality--they are GONE-
The second year is all about finding yourself--
The third year--is coming to terms and realizing that most have moved on--and at some time we realize--we must to--I am finally getting there.
I agree. Didn't think it would take this long or hurt this much. 
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| 10/3/2012 4:24:52 PM |
Widow of one year |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009
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I've heard that from many, that it's the third year when you start to move through it.
For me, it seems to be working out that way.
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| 10/3/2012 8:38:23 PM |
Widow of one year |
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anromia65
Nanticoke, PA
52, joined May. 2012
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Yes it's very hard that first year especially if there are young children involved. Best thing that helped me is changing things around in the house. Getting involved in things outside the house. Trust in God one door closes another opens. Keep your eyes open even if it's the smallest thing.
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| 10/3/2012 10:14:15 PM |
Widow of one year |
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jessieclaire
Pioneer, LA
44, joined Oct. 2012
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My husband had been gone three years now... You will ALWAYS miss him no matter how much time goes by... I wrote this one year after he left us..BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, FAMILY EVENTS, SCHOOL EVENTS AND THINGS THAT STILL COME AROUND EVERY SINGLE YEAR, EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE NOT.
FATHERS DAY WAS THE FIRST IMPORTANT DAY THAT CAME AFTER YOU LEFT. I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER THAT DAY. THE NEXT MONTH WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY. THE KIDS MADE YOU A CAKE. JUST THINKING OF YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY HAD ME IN TEARS. HOW COULD I HAVE KNOWN THAT IT WOULD BE YOUR LAST? I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT I GOT YOU , BUT IF I HAD KNOWN IT WOULD BE YOUR LAST I'M SURE I WOULD HAVE GOT YOU SOMETHING BETTER.
WHAT ABOUT HALLOWEEN? I KNOW TO MOST PEOPLE THATS NOT A HOLIDAY. OUR BABY GIRL MISSED YOU SO MUCH, SHE DRESSED UP LIKE YOU, RIGHT DOWN TO THE CAN OF SKOAL IN HER BACK POCKETT.
WHAT ABOUT THANKSGIVING? HOW CAN I BE THANKFUL WHEN YOU ARE NOT HERE. I REMEMBER ALL THE THANKSGIVING DINNERS IN THE PAST AND NONE OF THEM MEAN A THING TO ME NOW BECAUSE YOU WERE NOT HERE FOR THIS ONE.
CHRISTMAS IS EVEN HARDER, HOW DO I GET THROUGH CHRISTMAS? HOW DO I MAKE IT A HAPPY DAY FOR THE KIDS? HOW DO I KEEP YOU INVOLVED WHEN YOUR NOT HERE? WE ARE GOING SOMEWHERE ELESE FOR CHRISTMAS, SO MAYBE THAT WILL MAKE IT A LITTLE EASIER.
THEN COMES OUR SIXTEENTH ANNIVERSARIES IN JANUARY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WILL DO. SOMEDAYS I WANT TO PRETEND IT'S JUST ANOTHER DAY.
I WANT TO GO TO BED AND PRETEND THESE DAYS ARE JUST LIKE ANY OTHER DAY. SOMEONE JUST WAKE ME UP WHEN IT'S OVER. I DON'T WANT TO FEEL THE LONELINESS AND THE EMPTINESS I STILL FEEL IN MY HEART SINCE YOU LEFT, BUT STAYING IN BED WON'T HEAL MY HEART OR MAKE MY LOSS EASIER.
I DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. IT WON'T BRING YOU BACK AND IT WON'T STOP MY HURT, BUT IT DOES MAKE ME FEEL JUST A LITTLE BETTER.
DURING THOSE DAYS, I CAN PRETEND THAT YOU NEVER EXISTED, BUT THAT HURTS TO MUCH, SO I PRETEND THAT YOU ARE STILL HERE. EVEN IF IT'S ONLY FOR A FEW MINUTES, JUST LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO. MAYBE THATS SELFISH, MAYBE I NEED THIS LITTLE BIT OF COMFORT TO HELP ME MAKE IT THROUGH THOSE DAYS. PRETENDING YOU ARE STILL HERE IS JUST A SMALL THING TO HELP ME , BUT I DON'T THINK YOU WOULD MIND. I STILL MISS YOU AND I STILL HURT, BUT I TRY TO CONCENTRATE ON THE THREE, YES THREE, THAT YOU LEFT BEHIND. THEY MAKE IT EASIER FOR ME SOMETIMES. I CONSIDER OUR THREE CHILDREN TO BE A BLESSING TO ME FROM YOU AND I THANK YOU FOR THAT. THEY REMIND ME OF YOU EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY.
GRIEF IS A PROCESS THAT YOU LIVE WITH AND GO THROUGH FOR A LONG TIME. WHO ARE PEOPLE TO TELL ME HOW I SHOULD FEEL OR THAT IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON. HAVE THEY EVER LOST PART OF THEMSELVES. I TRY TO KEEP A POSTIVE ATTITUDE AND NOT LET IT PULL ME DOWN, IT'S HARD , BUT GODS STRENGTH IS HELPING ME DO THIS.
I THINK THE HARDEST DAY THAT I WILL EXPERENCE WILL BE APRIL 16, 2010. ONE YEAR AFTER TELLING YOU GOOD-BYE. I WILL BEGAN THAT DAY WITH A PRAYER "THANKYOU LORD FOR HELPING ME GET THROUGH THIS DAY."
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| 10/5/2012 12:57:40 PM |
Widow of one year |
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suepur
Newburgh, IN
68, joined Sep. 2012
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People that feel one year is the grieve period have never been there.
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| 10/15/2012 1:01:33 PM |
Widow of one year |
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lowflyer22
Buffalo, NY
77, joined Jul. 2011
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ive been alone almost 9 years my freinds and family keep me going
hade to find somone nice
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| 10/15/2012 9:54:09 PM |
Widow of one year |
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newdirection6
Wellsville, OH
63, joined Nov. 2007
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My husban has been gone for 6 1/2 years. My mom was in the hospital this past week. She was on the 4th floor. Thats the floor for heart and other serious conditions. Thats the floor my husban died on. Four doors down from her room. I remered that room so well..12 days of HELL...till he died. Those memories came back quick...I put on a good face for my mom then I let it loose on the way home.... If she wasn't so bad I would have stoped at a bar and got drunk. Something I did in my younger years....So it depends on what you are doing to bring back memories good or bad.....Sharen
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| 10/15/2012 11:43:57 PM |
Widow of one year |
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pegleg4421
Tupelo, MS
71, joined Oct. 2012
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widower for 4 yrs next month. Just as hard as the frist year. I think about her almost every day. Keep hoping someone will come alone. its get lonely sometime although you have friends.
[Edited 10/15/2012 11:45:08 PM ]
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| 10/16/2012 5:31:06 PM |
Widow of one year |
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fallenangel0485
Waukesha, WI
32, joined Feb. 2010
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Ive been going to a support group its been just under a year since my bf died of cancer.... friends and family help but its sometimes easier to talk to ppl that know what ur going thou
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| 10/16/2012 5:53:57 PM |
Widow of one year |
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gentlebear1949
Apple Creek, OH
68, joined Jul. 2008
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Ive been going to a support group its been just under a year since my bf died of cancer.... friends and family help but its sometimes easier to talk to ppl that know what ur going thou
My family,including Aunts,Uncles,Cousins and Siblings act like my Parents never existed and do NOT want to talk about them. I am regarded as being weak and a bit silly,as my Parents have been gone over 2 years and I'm still mourning.
Joining the Hospice Griever's Support Group was exactly what I needed. Nobody looked down their noses at me,they just offered friendship and encouragement......
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| 10/18/2012 9:27:58 AM |
Widow of one year |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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Support groups are a wonderful way to cope with any issue in our lives which we can't seem to cope with on our own.
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| 10/18/2012 8:54:58 PM |
Widow of one year |
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chriswva
Ripley, WV
42, joined Nov. 2009
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I wish there was a group that met in my area. Im sufferring
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| 10/19/2012 10:06:50 AM |
Widow of one year |
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oldschool5777
Chicago, IL
63, joined Aug. 2012
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my wife has been gone for 14 yrs everyone is differant when it comes to grieving .couldn,t express myself any better than everyone has on here
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