Diane, I lost my wife Jini in an instant a bit over 3 years ago and this group helped me see the way through the loss and onto a new life. You are lucky to have a friend like Theresa...she helped me (and many others) more than she may know. Over time you will see things about yourself that you never might have seen and in time you will start to create a new normal. It won't happen right away and you do have to make that decision to move forward. Never stop loving what you had but don't stop living because of what you've lost. Honor the memory of 25 years of happiness and always remember the ones we have lost would want us to be happy again as soon as we are ready. If you read this again in a month or two it may mean something different to you. Nothing wrong with that...just means you are adjusting and over the months to follow different things will become more important to you.
Best of luck to you and know you are not alone.
Peace be with you...Bryan

I saw this in another thread and believe the advice is very sound. We all grieve a bit differently. Let yourself grieve at your pace in your way in your time.

This is from Senior "As for me, it's been two years since I lost my husband of 37 years, and I still miss him very much. I have gone to a couple of grief support groups and found them very helpful. Here is a little of their advice:
1. Don't try to push your feelings aside and pretend they don't exist. You have to face your feelings and work your way through them in order to start healing. Don't be afraid to let the tears flow as tears are very healing.
2. Don't expect to "get over" your grief. You don't get over it, you just work your way through it."

The hardest part for me to embrace (and yet the most healing) is my life will never be what it was or what I thought it would be. It has been five years as a widow. I am more content today and accepting of my life as it is today. Please understand that I did not want to be a widow and would not wish it on anyone. I had hoped to date again. So far, not happening. I have found new friends that I have a good time with. I started a new career that I love (massage therapy). I miss my husband, I refuse to dwell what is no longer. This journey will be life long.

Diane, I know you have a "tough row to hoe" ahead of you. I have been working through my grief for two years now and I can honestly say, it doesn't go away, but it does get easier. I found grief support groups were a BIG help to me! The best people to talk to are the ones who have walked in your shoes. Others may think they understand and try to say the things they think you need to hear. However, they can never really understand and relate to you unless they have been there. I would highly recommend a grief support group. The one that was the most help to me was sponsored by Hospice. What great, caring people they are!
One of the things I learned from them was not to push my feelings aside and pretend they didn't exist. They have to be confronted and worked through in order for you to begin healing. Don't try to hide your tears or keep them from flowing as tears are very healing. Getting angry and yelling out loud, preferable to an empty room or empty car parked near the airport so you can yell as loud as you want and no one but you will know, can be very healing.
I can also tell you that when you work your way through your grief and find reconciliation, you will find you are a much stronger person than you ever would have believed you could be! I have found myself being able to accomplish some things on my own that I never would have dreamed of even trying before!
Lastly, but not leastly, Be nice to yourself and always remember that your husband would have wanted you to move forward and to experience all the best that life has yet to offer you!
God Bless!
Judy Your such a sweet Lady Judy. Bless you.