| 7/28/2013 9:35:54 PM |
What happened to building relationships? |
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bloocheese
Evansville, IN
27, joined Jun. 2013
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It seems like most people are looking for hookups and fwb. What happened to getting to know a person and building a relationship?
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| 7/28/2013 11:08:30 PM |
What happened to building relationships? |
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purplerider1200
South Bend, IN
62, joined Aug. 2011
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Good question. Will I have a good answer? That's debateable.
Used to be that we'd meet others thru our interests, and the things we did in groups. If we met someone within the activity, we would talk casually, and see the same person from week to week. (depending on the sceduled activity) We had a chance to mull over who they were, study their personality thru interactions with others, and weigh our decisions on that. Dates were made. At one time men could spend $10-$20 on a date, not be out that much money, and sex wasn't an expected thing. A bit of necking at the doorstep was the only thing really expected. Going dutch wasn't that unusual.
Now we go online to search for a mate. We trust that the person is who they say they are. We trust that their photo looks remotely like them. Really, we know nothing about their voice cues, body language, how they relate to other people beyond ourselves. Dates can easily set a man back $50-$100 bucks, and a lot of women won't go dutch any more. Sex is more freely done, and expected. A good portion of the time, both try to get as much as they can, as fast as they can, and pretty much any relationship goes out the window.
Many times, decisions get made about a relationship off of a couple messages, and one meeting, maybe two. Quite simply, we're not taking the time to build one.
I admit it, I'm as guilty as the next one for doing the latter. Obviously, I don't listen to my own advise. 
I'm willing to reform. Anyone care to join me?
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| 7/29/2013 4:21:11 AM |
What happened to building relationships? |
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great_hands
Hammond, IN
40, joined May. 2010
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another truth about speed dating is that with the internet it is now possible to do background checks, read profiling books (or watch profiling videos on YouTube)and get psychology text books off Ebay. In short more people think they know someone without actually getting to know them. Plus the corporations that own everything including the government would like people to be hooked on instant gratification. Smart, google glasses, terrabyte computers, it all reduces patients. No one wants to wait for anything anymore.
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| 7/29/2013 10:56:09 PM |
What happened to building relationships? |
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fastpony
Hammond, IN
41, joined Apr. 2007
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i'd rather play with lego's
[Edited 7/29/2013 10:56:20 PM ]
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| 7/29/2013 11:16:01 PM |
What happened to building relationships? |
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fastpony
Hammond, IN
41, joined Apr. 2007
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oh,I did that so many times.
you NEVER forget what that feels like....ever!!
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| 7/30/2013 12:49:12 AM |
What happened to building relationships? |
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millerrl
Greer, SC
49, joined Feb. 2013
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It seems like most people are looking for hookups and fwb. What happened to getting to know a person and building a relationship?
Well lets start with most women want what is rare (a man's man, that is smart, sexy, funny, with common interest) & don't take the time to get to know a guy. Lord forbid you don't meant her physical expectations!
Men are no better. They swing for what they would never hit! Then act like butt hurt jerks when they strike out! They don't take time to know women either unless they are their idea of beauty, at first look.
A little advice. If you couldn't pick them up in day to day life, then don't try here. Nothing happens in an instance, slow down & try just talking like "friends" for a minute.
[Edited 7/30/2013 12:50:12 AM ]
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| 7/30/2013 1:56:40 AM |
What happened to building relationships? |
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tessa561
Madison, IN
56, joined Sep. 2012
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Well lets start with most women want what is rare (a man's man, that is smart, sexy, funny, with common interest) & don't take the time to get to know a guy. Lord forbid you don't meant her physical expectations!
Men are no better. They swing for what they would never hit! Then act like butt hurt jerks when they strike out! They don't take time to know women either unless they are their idea of beauty, at first look.
A little advice. If you couldn't pick them up in day to day life, then don't try here. Nothing happens in an instance, slow down & try just talking like "friends" for a minute.
Very well said Sista. AMEN!!!!!!!!!!
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| 7/30/2013 12:00:27 PM |
What happened to building relationships? |
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fastpony
Hammond, IN
41, joined Apr. 2007
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stop kissing up^^^
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| 7/31/2013 7:36:36 AM |
What happened to building relationships? |
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earthangel_in
Kokomo, IN
53, joined Oct. 2007
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Many times, decisions get made about a relationship off of a couple messages, and one meeting, maybe two. Quite simply, we're not taking the time to build one.
I agree with this!
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| 7/31/2013 11:53:17 AM |
What happened to building relationships? |
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love2bbq
Iowa City, IA
57, joined Mar. 2011
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hey i have two feet and you have two feet so when i date i will stick mine and yours in my mouth till i get to know you a little better and relax. sorry if you can make up your mind as to who i am in one date for i wont know you in a lifetime, but im willing to take the time to learn. how about you?
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