| 10/8/2013 3:41:52 PM |
When you lose entire family to drunk driver..? |
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tendrkissr
Newport Beach, CA
48, joined Oct. 2013
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Im coming up on ten yrs. Jan 10 2004
My dad,mom,wife,and two yr old son all killed by drunk driver.Its very hard to meet women when the first thing they ask is have u ever married,kids! How do you tell them???
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| 10/8/2013 4:36:59 PM |
When you lose entire family to drunk driver..? |
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barstoolguru1
Dallas, TX
57, joined Oct. 2013
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so sorry for your loss but soon or a later your going to have to let go and rethink is this what you want to be in the forefront of your life?
no one is going to have the right answer but you
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| 10/8/2013 5:53:00 PM |
When you lose entire family to drunk driver..? |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009
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I imagine when you mention it, it puts a real damper on the conversation.
I always feel as if I have to comfort them or something, or let them know it's OK. I think they feel as though they stepped in something, and they don't know what to say.
I think, if I were you, I'd answer that I was married, but she and my child died, and go on to say that you like to hold off on talking about it until later. I think I'd leave out how it happened, and that your folks died, too, until you know the person better, and it seems like the conversation would be more natural.
I am sorry, I cannot imagine a more complete and devastating loss.
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| 10/8/2013 8:35:15 PM |
When you lose entire family to drunk driver..? |
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lookin4ones
Hurst, TX
57, joined Oct. 2010
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Just tell them what happened. It will be painful, but when starting a new relationship people always want to know about the past.
I hope you keep the memories, but allow yourself to move on.
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| 10/9/2013 5:45:15 PM |
When you lose entire family to drunk driver..? |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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~~OP~~ When you come to terms with your loss -- you will have no problem dealing with the responses others may have when you relate the truth to them. It is a fact that when one has faced a very traumatic event in their lives they need grief counseling on how to cope. Seek a professional to assist you with your dilemma and grief.
Good luck to you.
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| 10/12/2013 3:58:50 PM |
When you lose entire family to drunk driver..? |
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hawkapache
Boise, ID
59, joined Mar. 2008
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I lost my beloved wife of 31 years to a drunk driver with my kids in the car, luckily they weren't hurt, but the traumatic emotional response from them was terrible, but through the years, 17, my children and me have learned to cope with out loss. It was difficult at lst but through talking with a counselor and psychologist and my prayers, we got through it, and I am dating again. I am so sorry for your loss OP. I hope you can resolve this issue you live with, and learn to live with it, and if given time you will do this, and be a better person because of it. You are reaching out here with your memories and loss and it is a step in recovering from this. I wish you well and I hope you will find comfort in what people that care say to you.........
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| 10/14/2013 4:12:32 PM |
When you lose entire family to drunk driver..? |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009
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So true.
People cannot fathom the kind of loss death is. It bothers them, it makes them uncomfortable. So it's a real conversation stopper.
I guess I can't blame them. You really can't understand unless you've experienced it. You may be sympathetic and warm but the day to day living with grief? Not really understood unless you are doing it yourself.
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| 10/29/2013 12:23:49 AM |
When you lose entire family to drunk driver..? |
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ladiebugg55
Redding, CA
61, joined Jun. 2012
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Im coming up on ten yrs. Jan 10 2004
My dad,mom,wife,and two yr old son all killed by drunk driver.Its very hard to meet women when the first thing they ask is have u ever married,kids! How do you tell them???
I understand how you feel..I had two daughters but my oldest passed away nearly 9 yrs ago at age 30..people ask me how many kids Ive had..sometimes I find myself stammering on how to say it..I feel badly when Ive answered "one"..Sometimes I explain but then the questions come..still unsure how to say it without giving my life history..
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| 11/25/2013 12:41:38 AM |
When you lose entire family to drunk driver..? |
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bacon_
Snellville, GA
55, joined Aug. 2013
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My wife died almost 2 years ago. You've been through 10. If you are still falling back on that you are a really f**ked up individual and need help. Or you ate playing women. Either way, you are, messed up.
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| 11/29/2013 1:31:04 AM |
When you lose entire family to drunk driver..? |
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vida60
Norman, OK
56, joined Jul. 2012
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True, you've let this control your life for 10 precious years, If the woman asks you if you've ever been married, gladly tell her and tell her briefly what happened, you will have a feeling of comfort if trust them, meaning, you will know rather they are just being nosy or if they're sincere by the questions they ask, if they ask too many as to make you feel uncomfortable then tell them.
Losing someone is hard enough, but losing muli-family members is the worse, it multiplies the pain/hurt/regrets, do seek professional counseling, do something to honor their name and/or memory, speak up against how they were taken.
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