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10/16/2013 9:18:09 AM Self-destructive mode  

miss_mistylight
Franklin, GA
54, joined Sep. 2013


have any of you just went off the deep end after your love passed?

I was dating, going against everything I stand for, sex..
Just like watching a bad movie, but I was the player. Was a dark time in my life only lasted about 6 weeks, but has anybody else did anything strange like that? I was very over medicated and maybe that was the crazy, not sure. but now I feel like a horrid wench for my own actions. I only dated 4 guys didn't sleep with all, and when one said he was in love with me, it was like I woke up. ???

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10/16/2013 7:30:41 PM Self-destructive mode  

lovethelake17
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (35,556)
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009


I think most of us lose ourselves in something, in order not to deal with the pain.

It's not always drugs, sex, or alcohol. But it'll be something.

10/16/2013 10:20:15 PM Self-destructive mode  
nuhsworld
Over 2,000 Posts (3,567)
Brooklyn, NY
26, joined Jun. 2012


I haven't, but I'm glad you caught yourself.

10/17/2013 2:42:12 AM Self-destructive mode  

mr_crash
Corpus Christi, TX
49, joined Oct. 2013


Quote from briantrucker69:
Hi I am doing what your talking about now I lost my wife of 17 yrs in January to cancer

Been wanting to just I have no takers...lost my wife in June to cancer.
Hard part for me is the way I work. I work 14 days straight 12+ hours a day so I am able to loose myself in work. It is the 14 days off that mess me up.

10/18/2013 2:57:21 PM Self-destructive mode  

miss_mistylight
Franklin, GA
54, joined Sep. 2013


Quote from briantrucker69:
Hi I am doing what your talking about now I lost my wife of 17 yrs in January to cancer


Are you gonna try to come to who you are?

10/18/2013 7:35:54 PM Self-destructive mode  

mr_crash
Corpus Christi, TX
49, joined Oct. 2013


Quote from denacron:
Hellish exercise works for me. Hellish ordeal overall losing a perfect match.

Going home tomorrow for my 14 days off. Think I am going to join a gym and give that a try.

10/19/2013 12:45:06 AM Self-destructive mode  
loveto_lickyou
Wakefield, RI
63, joined Oct. 2013


Looks like I'm in the middle of something similar. My wife of over forty years died on Easter Sunday this spring after a three year battle with cancer. Started thinking of sex almost all the time. Still do. I took out a few women to dinner or lunch but that was as far as it got, thank goodness.
Found that I couldn't keep up with household stuff let alone caring for our dog and myself. Sleeping maybe three or four hours each night doesn't help. I also threw myself into my work which quickly became an obsession. Like sex I was determined to keep the business running and even take on more work than I could possibly do.
I must admit that there are times each day where I just feel so lost. And staying in our house has not helped. Every time I find something mundane, like one of her favorite pair of shoes, or some record of things shared I break down. This will sound stupid but while food shopping recently the store's music system played one of our songs...I couldn't help it, just stood there crying. Had to leave as it was just too painful.
Sorry if this is off-topic. For me the self destructive elements are obsessions whether work or sex or sailing. Need to figure out a way out of this.

10/19/2013 7:17:30 AM Self-destructive mode  

miss_mistylight
Franklin, GA
54, joined Sep. 2013


Quote from loveto_lickyou:
Looks like I'm in the middle of something similar. My wife of over forty years died on Easter Sunday this spring after a three year battle with cancer. Started thinking of sex almost all the time. Still do. I took out a few women to dinner or lunch but that was as far as it got, thank goodness.
Found that I couldn't keep up with household stuff let alone caring for our dog and myself. Sleeping maybe three or four hours each night doesn't help. I also threw myself into my work which quickly became an obsession. Like sex I was determined to keep the business running and even take on more work than I could possibly do.
I must admit that there are times each day where I just feel so lost. And staying in our house has not helped. Every time I find something mundane, like one of her favorite pair of shoes, or some record of things shared I break down. This will sound stupid but while food shopping recently the store's music system played one of our songs...I couldn't help it, just stood there crying. Had to leave as it was just too painful.
Sorry if this is off-topic. For me the self destructive elements are obsessions whether work or sex or sailing. Need to figure out a way out of this.


this is the hardest battle we will ever fight, of this I am certain. I lost my health two years before I lost my husband, so work wasn't an option for me anymore but am glad you got work. And now i do realize the sex is just the longing for closeness that has been replaced by loneliness. Don't fill bad for leaving the store, I can't go in walmart anymore because I have lost it so many times, and afraid will again. We are not suppose to be alone, we had a life partner, and death never came into that perfect circle. But it does because its that circle of life. we all will make it through one day at a time, I gave away everything we owned, not sure why are what I was thinking, maybe I wasn't thinking, honestly didn't think I would live through the beginning, but I did. Now just trying to live again, but truth I don't know what to do with me, without him.

10/19/2013 7:19:16 AM Self-destructive mode  

miss_mistylight
Franklin, GA
54, joined Sep. 2013


Quote from mr_crash:
Going home tomorrow for my 14 days off. Think I am going to join a gym and give that a try.


10/19/2013 12:56:05 PM Self-destructive mode  
loveto_lickyou
Wakefield, RI
63, joined Oct. 2013


Hi, MM
Thanks for your kind words and observations. They gave helped more than you know. Now I understand that I'm not the only one hoping through this and that is light at the end of the tunnel.

10/19/2013 2:01:13 PM Self-destructive mode  

lovethelake17
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (35,556)
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009


I've found myself in a store or someplace where emotions overwhelm me and I have to get out before I embarrass myself.

We had just moved to this city, and for the two months we had here together, we were looking for a house we wanted to buy. At first, we had concentrated on a specific area that we later decided wasn't right for us, and was far from where I ended up. But I sometimes find myself over in that part of town, and I'll turn a corner and be slapped in the face with a memory. It can bring you to your knees.