| 1/27/2015 8:25:07 PM |
Strange situation... |
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moodyleo
Jacksonville, FL
26, joined May. 2012
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Before I get into this story, I want to say that one of the letters on my keyboard is not working. It's the letter between O and Q. It's really annoying, but if you have a strong command of the English language, you should be able to understand what I am saying.
Okay so over a month ago... I wanna say around Dec 15th... I went on a first date with a guy I was really attracted to. We went to a restaurant. We both drank way too much. Yes we did go back to his a lace, and yes we did do the nasty. It was a combination of being both really drunk and really attracted to him, and I just wanted to have some fun, and it haened. Dumb I know, and I did kick myself in the a** for it the next day. We ended u hanging out at this house for the rest of the day, drinking coffee, eating, and watching hilarious stand-u comedy on netflix.
He texts like three days later. I was all excited, thinking it could go somewhere. Well he never really asks me out after that... not the right way... Like he did say I could come over to his lace and have dinner, but that didn't really feel like asking me out the right way. There was a little bit of texting back and forth for a coule of weeks, and that was it.
Then one day after about two weeks of no contact at all, I just said f**k it and tried to reach out to him one more time. Well, guess what... he asked me out to a movie for the following night. He said he would ick me u at my lace at 8. So I was all excited and looking forward to it, then the next day, an HOUR before he was suosed to ick me u, he texts me and cancels but says "let's meet tomorrow." Well I never heard from him again...
Until today, about ten days later. He said "heyy you are robably wondering why I disaeared" and he then tells me that his ex came to him and aologized for cheating on him, and they sent time together for a few days. Then he JUST found out she is with someone else. They both called him to "make a mockery" of him. He is really hurt and he just "wanted to tell someone." He drank a whole lot, "hoing to a** out."
So I was nice and I said I am really sorry that this haened. And I also told him that I am kinda surrised he is sharing this with me!! He said "he had nobody else."
And then he asked me would I like to see him again this weekend...
Well. I don't know what to think. On one hand, I am hay he reached out to me again and that he wants to see me. I was and AM really attracted to him. On the other hand, I kinda feel like... He totally dissed me a coule weeks ago, and didn't seem to be that interested in getting to know me better even before that. And I should not give him another chance.
But I have been told a lot by eole that have known me for a long time that I am often too quick to dismiss eole. Not gonna lie, I am still interested in him romantically.
What do you guys think of the whole thing?
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 1/27/2015 8:37:25 PM |
Strange situation... |
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packersbabe920
Green Bay, WI
49, joined Jul. 2013
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I'm thinking the only reason he wants to see u, cause he thought he was gone get back with his ex the reason he left u hanging, but she don't want him so now he wants to come your way, i wouldn't get involved with him again but op u get the last word in this
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| 1/27/2015 8:41:38 PM |
Strange situation... |
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keyboardkat
Oklahoma City, OK
40, joined Feb. 2011
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Not that strange.
You are the back up plan.
You may become his primary target if things go well.
As it is,you can do anything you want,but just proceed as a fling til he makes more of an effort to be with you.
You can go out with a one night stand,but it doesn't make it a relationship.
So,proceed carefully,cause he could always go back if she's available, and if you don't realize that,you're running a risk of getting hurt.
But he might grow more attached to you in time,just how much time?Who knows.
Or you can see more of him,and it might not be what you like.
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| 1/27/2015 8:42:04 PM |
Strange situation... |
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extortionegos
Hayward, CA
37, joined Apr. 2014
online now!
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Was he a good catch?
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| 1/27/2015 8:48:16 PM |
Strange situation... |
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naturebiy
Mc Kenzie, TN
39, joined Jul. 2011
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Its not strange at all as long as you dont mind being an emotional stepping stone / confidence builder.
It seems to be common practice these days 
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| 1/27/2015 8:58:57 PM |
Strange situation... |
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moodyleo
Jacksonville, FL
26, joined May. 2012
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So then right after I osted this, he texted me asking if I would go to his lace and "be a shoulder... he is trying to cry but can't". I said "you totally blew me off before, you had no interest in knowing me before" and he said he just wants a shoulder, nothing more.
I said "I don't think I should jeoardize my hysical safety, and even if you were sober I do feel hesitant because you totally blew me off." He said that's fine, he understands my hesitation. Then I said "maybe if we kee talking, we can see each other again. But tonight just doesn't feel right." Then he goes, "And there won't be any good night again"...(the F**K??!!) Then he said "it's okay babe, tonight is not a good night, take care" and that was the last word.
I guess in the end he was telling me that if I don't do what he wants, which is to see him tonight, then I won't get another chance to see him. Well, f**k that.
And I feel that if I RUN and go see him tonight with no advance notice, AFTER the way he treated me before, that would look really f**king athetic. Sorry, but no.
Do you guys think I will hear from him again? Yeah I am still kinda hoing that we could see each other again and maybe start something real. But OBVIOUSLY he would have to start treating me like a real woman and not a backu lan.
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| 1/27/2015 9:03:40 PM |
Strange situation... |
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packersbabe920
Green Bay, WI
49, joined Jul. 2013
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It's up to u, if u want to give it another try maybe he learned his lesson, if u go then just talk to him and no sex
[Edited 1/27/2015 9:05:25 PM ]
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| 1/27/2015 9:04:39 PM |
Strange situation... |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
59, joined Apr. 2011
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Lets look at this from another angle.
Lets say for the sake of argument everything was legit here.
Well, do you want to end up with someone who won't always contact you, that might leave you hanging, changing plans and has some obvious issues still remaining, possibly over some ex?
I don't think many would.
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| 1/27/2015 9:15:50 PM |
Strange situation... |
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forsyth4
Fort Payne, AL
28, joined Nov. 2014
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Beware of this bumblebee guy he's a weird person with some problems he lives in my area I had to block him cause he was stalking me !!!!
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| 1/27/2015 9:18:14 PM |
Strange situation... |
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stamina1975
Madison Heights, VA
39, joined Apr. 2012
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I'm thinking I've read this story before...
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| 1/27/2015 9:19:10 PM |
Strange situation... |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
59, joined Apr. 2011
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Whats wrong....
getting bored on here again.?
Dude, I proved you were not from around here months ago.
Look, email your boyfriend and tell him, you'll wear the outfit and wig.
Once you get laid again by him....you'll be your cheery self again.
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| 1/27/2015 9:23:04 PM |
Strange situation... |
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forsyth4
Fort Payne, AL
28, joined Nov. 2014
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Such a f*g u are bee shouldn't u be banging your mom or sister instead of looking for little boys on the Internet again ?
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| 1/27/2015 9:25:01 PM |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
59, joined Apr. 2011
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and if you were from here and I knew where you lived to stalk you.
you wouldn't be here, you'd be posted on you tube, looking like someone who forgot to repay the Mafia for a large lone.
White Sand, flat land, a bone fish and Palm tree ???
Its not like that here, your either a fake picture(which I know it is)
and taken from someone in FLA or California.
Again....you have 5 minutes to post some facts about this area that are not on google, or anywhere on the net.
If you can't do it...then there you go.
The clock is ticking.
[Edited 1/27/2015 9:28:19 PM ]
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| 1/27/2015 9:29:05 PM |
Strange situation... |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
59, joined Apr. 2011
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4 minutes left.
the clock is ticking.
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| 1/27/2015 9:30:18 PM |
Strange situation... |
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moodyleo
Jacksonville, FL
26, joined May. 2012
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Can you guys do this shit elsewhere because I kee checking my ost and all I see is this silly bullshit.
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| 1/27/2015 9:32:33 PM |
Strange situation... |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
59, joined Apr. 2011
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yep, its over... the time ran out and the last time....I gave him 20 minutes and he disappeared....lol
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| 1/27/2015 9:36:20 PM |
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moodyleo
Jacksonville, FL
26, joined May. 2012
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I just realized that when he said "There will never be another good night" he was threatening to kill himself. Soooo.... trying to maniulate me into doing what he wants? When he wanted NOTHING to do with me for the month we have known each other after he totally blew me off OBVIOUSLY to hang out with his ex??!
First of all, he is not that interested in me.
Second of all, he is clearly a maniulator, indicative that his mental health may be...questionable.
Yeah I don't think I should talk to him anymore.
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| 1/27/2015 9:50:09 PM |
Strange situation... |
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forsyth4
Fort Payne, AL
28, joined Nov. 2014
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God this bumblebee guy never stops trying  what a creepy weirdo
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| 1/27/2015 10:01:09 PM |
Strange situation... |
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dejavugirl
Miami, FL
40, joined Feb. 2013
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OP
Look for somebody who can love you for who you are. Sex on the first date doesn't guarantee you a long lasting relationship.
There are plenty of fish in the sea. So don't worry. 
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| 1/27/2015 10:40:32 PM |
Strange situation... |
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eyes4unow
Pomfret, CT
45, joined Dec. 2013
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Unfortunately you fell into the mistake many adults do..
Using drinking/physical attraction as the reason but in fact you made yourself the booty call "backup". Never mind which ever one of you drove back to his place drunk and didn't think of possibly ruining an innocent persons life by that decision.
The whole post is just a careless act on both your parts but now your the one hoping for more when you put the cart before the horse.... Its never going to go anywhere now.
Cut your losses and move on.
Next time, let a relationship mature past hello your cute... If you want something more than sex.
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| 1/27/2015 10:46:54 PM |
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eyes4unow
Pomfret, CT
45, joined Dec. 2013
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Oh yeah...
People that threaten suicide don't do it. It was an attempt to get you there for the booty call. Open your eyes.
Suicidal people just do it.
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| 1/27/2015 10:55:33 PM |
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flyfish77
Conyers, GA
49, joined Jul. 2014
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you gotta lay it on the line with this guy,,i know no woman as forgiving as you sex or somethin must be real great,oryour like me,,too gullible an soft,,tell him eithers one way,black,or white...off or on...none of this crap he,s puttin you thru,,,you got felings too, i hadan issue unlikeyours with someone,,an i had to get on her hard,,an was near sory i did,but it sometimes wakes a person up, an i even apologized, but i wont be put t 3or 5 in a relationship,under nuthin bur of course kidsare gonna be first,,but this wassomethin else,,lay it down to him,,either..off,,or on,,theright way.. men should never cry in fron t of women also,, no matter,,unless a bad death or somethin..
[Edited 1/27/2015 10:57:29 PM ]
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| 1/27/2015 11:09:58 PM |
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ms_holland
Danville, AL
51, joined Mar. 2014
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This guy is just using you and manipulating you honey.
He is playing the sympathy card. Then the suicical one.
He is playing your emotions like a fiddle. He knows you are attracted to him. He is using that attraction along with those other cards to reel you in.
Meanwhile, unknown to you, he is laughing at you. Thinking how stupid you are to fall for this.
Don't give this fool your time of day.
You deserve a real man.
As for the f*ggot that keeps attacking @Bee, shut up fool. You have nothing intelligent or worthwhile to say in the forums. You lack the intelligence to do so.
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| 1/27/2015 11:20:17 PM |
Strange situation... |
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sea_
Kent, WA
62, joined Oct. 2013
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Sounds like you just may be a booty call to him now.....Run..don't walk...
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| 1/27/2015 11:38:32 PM |
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vagmasterflash
Durand, WI
49, joined Nov. 2014
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Pppppffffftttt! Yes...I fart with "P"s.
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| 1/27/2015 11:39:09 PM |
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vagmasterflash
Durand, WI
49, joined Nov. 2014
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Type Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
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| 1/28/2015 1:16:14 AM |
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numbersor_only
Austin, TX
55, joined Nov. 2014
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What do you guys think of the whole thing?
Quit drinking.
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| 1/28/2015 1:19:39 AM |
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lucky_1million
Pewaukee, WI
48, joined Jun. 2013
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I don't know... maybe he's done something like this before and knows that he can get away with a lot of crap before women get pissed off.
Maybe the story he told you is true... maybe it isn't. However, his ex-girlfriend had to be pretty upset at him to pretend get back together and then rub it in his face that she had a new boyfriend.
Too many games here... I like people who are more straight-forward.
I would say "no thanks" and just ignore his texts.
Focus on someone who has at least mastered "Dating 101".
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| 1/28/2015 1:36:04 AM |
Strange situation... |
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pickygirl72
Phelan, CA
44, joined Sep. 2011
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If it was me i would of moved on after not getting that second date right away. i do not want to be anyones second choice, especially to an ex.
I want a guy to have his shit together and that includes moving on from a ex.
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| 1/28/2015 3:13:12 AM |
Strange situation... |
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norwegianwood64
Pearlington, MS
51, joined Jul. 2014
online now!
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The OP shows up every couple of months with a story like this....its getting boring. Besides that, how does she pee and poop with no p's.
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| 1/28/2015 4:32:12 AM |
Strange situation... |
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grouchy_muffin
Sichuan
China
43, joined Nov. 2014
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If you are happy being the backup girl, then by all means--keep the status quo. If you aren't, then move on. Chances are, he's not going to change. You have to decide what you're willing to accept.
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| 1/28/2015 5:07:32 AM |
Strange situation... |
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soflwill
West Palm Beach, FL
54, joined Jan. 2012
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in a few words, you're attracted to a scum bag that treats you bad, but hey he's good looking so who cares. Next week will be the tread why are men all cheaters, or where are all the real men, or something along those lines when he continues to treat you like garbage. But hey you're really attracted to him so it doesn't matter that you already know how he is going to treat you, you think he'll change because hey he's sooooooo attractive.
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| 1/28/2015 5:35:45 AM |
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istillrock
Winter Park, FL
32, joined Jan. 2015
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Too much bullshit and games. If he contacts you again tell him to piss off.
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| 1/28/2015 8:08:19 AM |
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vagmasterflash
Durand, WI
49, joined Nov. 2014
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Marry him. Make him just as miserable.
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| 1/28/2015 8:18:40 AM |
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twining
Anderson, SC
22, joined Jun. 2014
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Brace yourself. For him. You two screwed on the first date so him going back to that ex if that opportunity arose was kind of inevitable. Give him this last chance and explain to him that you're not posted on the wall waiting for him.
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| 1/28/2015 10:31:45 AM |
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lookin4him2012
Boone, NC
46, joined Jan. 2012
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OP, you are too good for that kind of man. Please don't go out with him. He sounds like a real user and he is playing with you. It will only be a matter of time before he either (1) gets back with the ex again or (2) meets someone he likes better than you. If he was interested in only you to begin with then none of that would have ever happened. IMO, he has already proven himself to be a dawg. He will never be faithful. You can't trust him anyway.
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| 1/28/2015 10:33:34 AM |
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lookin4him2012
Boone, NC
46, joined Jan. 2012
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Quote from grouchy_muffin:
If you are happy being the backup girl, then by all means--keep the status quo. If you aren't, then move on. Chances are, he's not going to change. You have to decide what you're willing to accept.
__________________________________________________________________
Change? It would be one thing if she were referring to a long time boyfriend. But OP doesn't even know the guy yet from what she's said in her first post. There's nothing to change. I think she just found out from the very beginning who this man really IS. That's enough to make me run far, far away!
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| 1/28/2015 12:16:25 PM |
Strange situation... |
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fwayne55
Hurst, TX
58, joined Dec. 2014
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OP,
Sympathy for your experience. If its some comfort, the majority of single women have similar experience, and they stay in love with that guy too.
It's bad when people are heartbroken or deceived.
A little discussed axiom of the human experience is that "Attraction is not a choice", and if thing go sideways, the effect take a huge toll emotionally.
Nearly every single woman I'm acquainted with are basket cases, consuming weird expensive opioid medications; its always about relationship failures. In their 50s they have weight problems, increased head size, cardio vascular, liver, kidneys, its bad.
You are probably one of many women who encountered that guy. Women who sense that others are attracted a guy become more attracted ho him.
What you do is go to a gym alot, go to singles events at a large church (methodist), be open mined and you will meet another guy and forget this experience. Good luck. 
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| 1/28/2015 2:08:26 PM |
Strange situation... |
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dill510
Albany, CA
36, joined Dec. 2012
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Too long to read. I think you're a fat cow though. You're good for nothing except maybe a drunk blowjob. Get over it.
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| 1/28/2015 4:22:38 PM |
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fwayne55
Hurst, TX
58, joined Dec. 2014
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Too long to read. I think you're a fat cow though. You're good for nothing except maybe a drunk blowjob. Get over it.
OP, this is an example of the best you will get if you don't make changes. Look for nice guys. They go to church. You still have the magic of youth and wait too long,,,
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| 1/28/2015 4:51:25 PM |
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testsignup
Springfield, VA
61, joined Sep. 2009
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I don't quite agree with anyone else, but I slightly agree with almost everybody.
My take on this, is that he's a guy you can have drunken sex with occasionally, for your own fun only. If you are happy with going for a just-sex-no-emotions thing, he might work out.
On the other hand, if you want to do that with a drama queen like him, you have to decide you aren't going to pay any attention to his games and threats, and just screw like a true player. You have to put on your Idontgiveacrapaboutanhyonebutme hat, and just take.
But frankly, I think people who threaten suicide are dangerous. They have a bad habit of switching targets at the last minute and shooting the person trying to help, or whoever happens to be around.
So I personally wouldn't recommend you have anything more to do with him.
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| 1/28/2015 5:11:21 PM |
Strange situation... |
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fwayne55
Hurst, TX
58, joined Dec. 2014
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I have a few female cousins with same story as OP. Turned out cousins couldnt meet anyone else they were attracted to, or like pearl jam's "cant find a better man". Cousins all begged to take them back. Now cousins are old fat ladies, look much older than their age, thick glasses, single but with pet dogs cats. In their hey day they were hotties.
Other cousins who hooked up with nice boring guys, who ere not crazy, and stayed married are much happier and still look healthy and hot. Its all about attraction at a younger age.
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| 1/28/2015 6:21:25 PM |
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mrhankchinaski
Aurora, CO
53, joined Aug. 2014
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Marry him. Make him just as miserable.
I'll bet she'd be good at making a guy miserable.
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| 1/28/2015 6:29:16 PM |
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moodyleo
Jacksonville, FL
26, joined May. 2012
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Thanks for all the feedback, guys... Definitely going to just move on.
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| 1/28/2015 6:36:21 PM |
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hugsnlaughter
McKeesport, PA
54, joined Jul. 2007
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I think you know what you need to do here. This is wrong on so many levels.
First, you two had one drunk night together, right or wrong, that's all it was. If it was more, he would have wanted to see you right away no matter what.
Second, most people chose someone to be a shoulder that they know well. No, his shoulder would probably turn into another booty call.
Third, if he is still so hung up on the ex, why did he even spend that nite with you, he is not ready for a relationship.
And Lastly, you are young and I know you liked the attraction you feel for him but you can feel that again with someone else and someone who wants to know you and not just use you. Good Luck.
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| 1/28/2015 6:43:46 PM |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
62, joined Oct. 2009
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It's the P that's the one that isn't working the P.
I think he likes you well enough for sex and drinking especially if you're paying, but outside of that......... I don't think he's good "husband matyerial". If that's what you want then dump him. There's no future with him.
Your P is the one that isn't working. 
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| 1/28/2015 6:45:18 PM |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
62, joined Oct. 2009
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If he REALLY wanted you then he wouldn't have cancelled the date for any reason and he canceled because of his EX.
Really, I think you can do better.
[Edited 1/28/2015 6:45:51 PM ]
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| 1/28/2015 7:01:01 PM |
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moodyleo
Jacksonville, FL
26, joined May. 2012
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Thanks guys, I needed to hear those last two comments <3
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| 1/28/2015 7:12:05 PM |
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luxorus
Seneca Castle, NY
36, joined Apr. 2014
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reach out to international men, not me though
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| 1/29/2015 7:48:52 AM |
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fwayne55
Hurst, TX
58, joined Dec. 2014
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OP
Have you considered the divorce option? Forget all this namby pamby DH speculation. Go for the jugular. Get his money, make him pay. The law will help you.
My late aunt, if she was pissed at some guy, staged domestic violence, bruising and cutting herself. Women cop friends came over and dudes arrested, he learns jail life is not for him. As a condition do drop criminal charges, they go to civil court and agree that he pays her a few thousand a month for 10 years. She did that a lot.
Its just like a bad marriage but you skip the marriage part and go to directly to the divorce stage.
She was a millionaire at 45. Go for it!
[Edited 1/29/2015 7:51:44 AM ]
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| 1/29/2015 8:00:48 AM |
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love2kiss8
Columbus, OH
23, joined May. 2013
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I wouldn't continue trying to get with him it seems like he made you as an alternative option and he was looking forward to being with the other women. He seems to have been hurt about her being with someone else and had a lot to drink afterwards. I would say personally I wouldn't continue with that. You want something more stable right ? A guy who wants you for you? I am not going to judge you on the sleeping with him early it was your personal choice, and I feel no desire to try to shame you for it.
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| 1/29/2015 8:07:50 AM |
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tj_77
Ormond Beach, FL
53, joined Aug. 2008
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Too many....ifs and or but's...move on!
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| 1/29/2015 9:08:03 AM |
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cubcougar
Lucerne, CA
61, joined Oct. 2010
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We both drank way too much. Yes we did go back to his a lace, and yes we did do the nasty. It was a combination of being both really drunk and really attracted to him, and I just wanted to have some fun, and it haened. Dumb I know,
What do you guys think of the whole thing?
You are NOT DUMB ... you are an ADDICT.
Addicts do not care for the welfare of them selves nor others.
Addicts do not care for the rights of them selves nor the rights of others.
You are stuck in your Toddler Tantrum mentality out of your Duck Disease.
In another country you would be tossing virgins in volcanos saying abortion is murder ... yup ... dumb stuff.
But really ... just stuck in the Toddler Tantrum thinking of things and never grew up.
You suck on drugs and alcohol like you suppose to suck on warm milk from the breast to make the pain go away.
You and BF are addicts .. in constant pain .. and constantly self medicating the disease of PTSD you have.
Here watch the video ... and learn up.
Then go fix your self ... like this has NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE .... right !!!
You keep doing what you always doing ... you keep getting what you always got.
sumbuddie wear blind sea
time to wake up ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Z8aotZycx0
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| 1/29/2015 9:53:10 AM |
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a4umposter
San Antonio, TX
47, joined Dec. 2014
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If you are happy being the backup girl, then by all means--keep the status quo. If you aren't, then move on. Chances are, he's not going to change. You have to decide what you're willing to accept.
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| 1/29/2015 12:31:56 PM |
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rose1206
Gilbert, AZ
33, joined Jul. 2012
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That situation isn't cool OP. He put you on the backburner until it was convenient for him. You deserve better!
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| 1/30/2015 12:43:32 PM |
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cubcougar
Lucerne, CA
61, joined Oct. 2010
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That situation isn't cool OP. He put you on the backburner until it was convenient for him. You deserve better!
oh f**k that noise ... he kicked her off the stove ...
front burner is his taco sauce licker wife getting her CalistaBillaryShriver game on.
oh yeah ... she is a real psychotic b*tch.
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| 1/30/2015 1:12:37 PM |
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spaceface79
Des Moines, IA
35, joined Mar. 2014
online now!
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Lose his number.
Never again will I suffer a flaky man.
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| 1/30/2015 5:10:19 PM |
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ladybugruth58
Patton, PA
56, joined Feb. 2014
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You could start over as friends.. Or fwb. However he would have to earn my trust, after playing games.. I'd move on, keeping him for the ' if nothing else around ' times.. Fwb only..
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| 1/30/2015 5:29:45 PM |
Strange situation... |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
56, joined May. 2009
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I'm kind of curious as to why you want to see him again even though you say you don't like how he treated you. A "If he changes, I want him" kind of thing.
Why not just find someone who already treats you like you matter, and whom you find attractive?
I mean, in your words he was a jerk to you, but the sex was good, you had some laughs watching TV, and you're really attracted. To what exactly?
Even if his behavior is only because he's all torn up about the ex and he wanted it to work and all that, he's not emotionally ready to be dating someone else. All you'd be is a band aid. You gotta remember, band aids get ripped off and thrown away when they're no longer needed.
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| 1/30/2015 5:36:16 PM |
Strange situation... |
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ttrockz55
Wickenburg, AZ
56, joined Nov. 2013
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I only read the first page.
Dont go back there. You deserve more than he intends to give you.
He is still in a bad place not being over his ex.
You know you will always just be his shoulder and his fwb when HE wants.
You deserve so much more!
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