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1/28/2015 9:58:25 AM Help me move forward  
mbchawk70
Myrtle Beach, SC
45, joined Jun. 2014


Dealing with new health problems. The Dr has tried to get me to file for disability and has told me that I won't be getting better. As someone who has worked his whole life and has custody of his minor children I an having trouble coming to gross with it. I still try to work but the pain and meds make it very difficult. I want to be able to take care of my kids and teach them the value of hard work. How does one come to grips with the news and move on?

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1/28/2015 10:59:33 AM Help me move forward  
hopelesstwo
Brooklyn, NY
71, joined Feb. 2010


I have crhon's disease and the drs can not help me. They tell me its like a cancer learn to live with it. I get flare ups But I live with it. I am not dying. I enjoy life. I have a lot of tension in my family taking care of 93 yr old. I drive a car. You can do the same thing. Enjoy life. At least u walking around. Think of all the people who die all of sudden. We still around. Be thankful for that. I hope I cheered u up with this little note.

1/29/2015 12:41:38 PM Help me move forward  
Bettinal
Belton, TX
53, joined Nov. 2014


I've found that prayer, friends, and time bring some answers to light. Do what you can at a pave you can be comfortable with.and involve the children whenever possible and they will learn through you the value of hard work.

1/29/2015 5:05:25 PM Help me move forward  

bbwtreasure
Winfield, IL
54, joined Feb. 2008


My doctor will not allow me to work full time. If I work part-time I loss all my benefits and assistance. There are days when I can not make it out of bed. Employers do not allow for missed worked days. I did work for over 22 years. Your new job is too take care or yourself. After several years I do not feel guilty about not working. However people will judge you, but your family and friends will understand.

Teach your children responsibility for chores and helping others this should help with having good work ethics.

1/29/2015 11:19:53 PM Help me move forward  
cynthos
Vancouver, WA
44, joined Dec. 2014


I know it's hard to admit you can't work,I was top notch worker headed high. It devastated me not to work. I was single parents of two kids,well it's been ten years since. We all made it through,eventually it all works out !

1/30/2015 4:46:36 AM Help me move forward  

saddestangel7
Over 2,000 Posts (3,775)
Santa Clara, CA
55, joined Apr. 2011


I was stubborn about filing too. But when you find yourself with no income it will give you the kick in the a** to get it done. With me when I filed it was before my cancer and was based on my other chronic illnesses.

The big aspect of the application process is how does your health affect your ability to do day to day activities such as hold down a job, housework, taking care of yourself, etc... Don't worry about collecting medical records. Everyone panics over that aspect. SSA will have you sign a release form and request all your medical records from each doctor/hospital/clinic/psychiatrist you provide names and addresses for.

Honesty goes a long way. People who embellish the truth will be scrutinized. Honesty will match your medical records and that is why it took only 3 months for my approval.

Better to apply and work on stabilizing your health which in turn will help you be a better parent to your children. Sometimes working causes stress which weakens our immune systems.

When you apply for SSDI your doctors never ever sign any statements. SSA only uses actual medical records.

State disability is temporary and is thru Employment Development Department and your doctor does fill out and sign it. Very different than Social Security Admin. SSDI benefits.

1/31/2015 3:00:41 PM Help me move forward  
mbchawk70
Myrtle Beach, SC
45, joined Jun. 2014


Thank you all ladies. And may I say you are all strong beautiful women. Maybe I'm just being stubborn and hard headed. Lol.

2/2/2015 11:29:25 AM Help me move forward  

rabbit0668
Martin, MI
49, joined Sep. 2012


Your situation sounds like a challenging one, but I tell so many of my clients the same thing. Disability does not have to be a period. It can be a comma that gives you a chance to train for a job that better fits your work limitations and uses your strengths. Perhaps, it is building an online business or doing some phone work from home. Work has become so different thanks to the computer age. If you consider disability as the comma, it will help you to feel better about yourself and to explain to your kids that you are taking a break to prepare for something different. I so hope my thoughts are helpful.

2/9/2015 8:47:22 PM Help me move forward  
grneyesrme
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,199)
Sacramento, CA
49, joined Aug. 2013


I understand OP. I went through the same thing. It's been a difficult process allowing others to help me when I was the one everyone ran to for help.

As for my kids, it's been an adjustment for them as well. If you were a hard worker you will be able to pass that along to them. I was the caretaker of the family. My kids eventually learned that they have to rely more on themselves for things because I can no longer support all their needs. Learing to be self reliant is a valuable lesson in itself & allowing them to now help you as well.

It will take some time & adjustment but it will all work out.

2/9/2015 11:16:38 PM Help me move forward  

godsbutterfly1
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (19,024)
Woodlyn, PA
62, joined Dec. 2010


Rabbit, why not tell everyone what you've been up to.