| 7/28/2017 7:58:33 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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lareveur
Clinton, TN
33, joined May. 2013
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Sorry if this sounds or seems a bit high school, but this is what I am f**king dealing with, at the moment. I am beyond f**king enraged right now, so I will try my best to avoid typos - but I feel like I have no where else to turn to. I just don't give a f**k anymore. I'm that f**king beyond pissed...(sorry)...Sorry, I was nice enough to censor her name and info before, but after this, I am going to be blowing this f**king thing out of the water. I just don't give a f**k anymore.
If you're not familiar with this issue, here is a link to my past post about this same issue:
https://DateHookup.dating/thread-1472279.htm
(as this thread is just an update). Not that I would expect anyone to care, I don't. But But I am seriously f**king hurting right now, and I need to vent more than ever, and I seriously am not going to censor this anymore. I'm sorry but this is the f**king last straw. I am posting names, pictures, screenshots. I just f**king give up...
So, why am I pissed now? Because I gave my dead grandpa's arrow-head necklace under the strict condition that my NOW EX boyfriend never lose it, give it away, or give it to someone else. I said: "Even if your pissed at me. PLEASE do not lose it or give it away, under ANY circumstances." My boyfriend agreed to this condition - multiple times. I had that arrowhead since it was given to me at the age of seven. And I frequently checked my ex - to see if he still had it - which he sometimes jokingly pretended to lose it, because he knew how important it is. I never even gave this necklace to my first love of seven years. So, he (my ex) knows how much that necklace means to me - it's the only remnant of him (besides one damn photo) that I have of my admirable grandpa, Zoltan (aka Teddy). Here is my grandpa:
My grandpa was my entire f**king world when he was alive. I worshiped the man as a kid, and he is still my personal hero, to this day. He and I were so close, and I admired him for everything he did: We were extremely close. When I moved to New York back in 2002, we talked for hours almost every day. I owe most of my intelligence to my grandpa.
Well, guess who is f**king wearing it now? ANOTHER F**KING GOD DAMN BRUTAL SURPRISE: My ex has given it to the SAME f**king surprise, overnight, nutcase addict FIANCE who went out of her way to surprise contact me over facebook (when I didn't even know this c*nt even existed at all) - just to rub their new surprise engagement in my face (just shy of two weeks after my boyfriend dumped me, and how he put me in an expensive hotel as a rush job), complete with lies such as: "I give you my WORD that I will not date or even talk to any women during this six month break of our relationship." Which explains why I still allowed him to wear it. Because I f**king TRUSTED this snake a** piece of shit! And f**king yes, this is the same fiance who was engaged three times and married another three, the same fiance who is just clean and sober for one damn month and is not even caring for her son (because she is too busy praising my "wonderful" ex boyfriend as her new overnight fiance on facebook). Yeah, he gave that priceless obsidian arrowhead to HER - and after she cut her hair extremely short and dyed it red (the way my ex loves short haired red-heads) because she is such a f**king air-headed minion with no identity of her own - SHE F**KING POSTED HERSELF WEARING MY GRANDPA'S NECKLACE (That was NEVER meant for her to begin with) ON HER F**KING FACEBOOK AS A PUBLIC POST, SLATHERED ON ENOUGH MAKEUP AFTER HER CHOPPED HAIR MAKEOVER - TO LOOK LIKE A 45 YEAR OLD ANNE HECHE ON CRACK AND EVEN WENT OUT OF HER WAY TO AIRBRUSH HER PHOTO TO HIGH HELL (with SnapChat - because that is not how she even f**king looks)(14 HOURS AGO)...
THIS IS HER SNAPCHAT AIRBRUSHED PIC, WEARING MY GRANDPA'S ARROW-HEAD NECKLACE AROUND HER NECK, AFTER MY BOYFRIEND TOLD HOW HE LIKES SHORT RED HAIR:
THIS IS HOW THE B*TCH REALLY LOOKS. HER EYES ARE DARK GRAY AND HER HAIR IS BROWN:
THESE AIRBRUSHED PICS IS AFTER MY SCUMBAG EX TOLD HER TO CHOP HER HAIR SHORT AND DYE IT RED:
  
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| 7/28/2017 8:02:28 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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lareveur
Clinton, TN
33, joined May. 2013
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HER MOST RECENT FACEBOOK POSTS - RIGHT BEFORE SHE UPLOAD A PIC OF HERSELF WITH MY GRANDPA'S NECKLACE:
HER OLDER POSTS (FROM HER OLDER FACEBOOK ACCOUNT) WITH HER REAL ACTUAL SURNAME POSTING HER MANY ENGAGEMENTS AND HER OTHER FIANCES (2012)...
HERE A FRIEND TELLS HER TO FINALLY PAY HER CHILD SUPPORT:
HER RELATIONSHIP POST OF HER FIANCE CALEB BOLTON WHO SEEMED TO MAKE HER HAPPY JUST WEEKS BEFORE SHE SOMEHOW BECAME ENGAGED TO MY RECENT EX...
MY BOYFRIEND'S BULLSHIT LIE THAT HE WAS NOT EVEN TALKING TO ANYONE, WHEN I CLEARLY ASKED HIM IF HE WAS TALKING TO ANYONE ELSE (I ASKED HIM THIS WHILE I WAS STAYING AT THE HOTEL). SO, HE WAS MILES AWAY IN HIS TRUCK, AND HE WAS STILL LYING ABOUT HE WAS TRYING TO FIX HIMSELF, HIS LIFE (LIKE MONEY AND JOB, ETC..) TO GET BETTER. WHICH IS WHY WE WERE CHATTING ON FACEBOOK. BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T ANSWER THE CALL:
\...AND JUST A WEEK AND A HALF LATER, THESE BULLSHIT POSTS:
I seriously don't know what to do, because first I am beyond pissed off right now. Another reason is that I told my ex boyfriend to never contact me again, plus - with how immature these two are, I am too afraid to find out that maybe she trashed it (after my boyfriend told her who it belonged to).
I just don't understand any of this cruel bullshit!?
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| 7/28/2017 8:14:11 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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bosss_babe
Saint Paul, MN
44, joined Jan. 2017
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Haha!! Theres a female on dh that airbrushes her eyes that creepy blue color too
FYI.. u cant airbrush anything on snapchat babe, they just have funny filters (like the one on my main). So she's using a diff app.
Btw.. sorry wut ur going thru. That really is messed up. Rip grandpa 
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| 7/28/2017 8:14:35 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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lareveur
Clinton, TN
33, joined May. 2013
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I seriously and genuinely f**king feel like I just f**king lost everything: A man I truly loved with all of my heart (honestly) and needed for the rest of my life, my past (or at least a piece of it) and now my future...despite all the fights we had - I never let that get in the way of what I thought and felt mattered most...
But that man put me in harms way (by knowing that I am allergic to the sun) and dumping me in an expensive hotel that could cause me to become homeless (unless I went out in the sun to find a job in just days, which I had to), to just trashing my cherished family heirloom with my grandpa's necklace that I never gave to anyone but him (not even my first love). Only for it to be paraded by the one woman who lured everything away.
I just feel so thoroughly destroyed by all of this... lost and confused as hell.
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| 7/28/2017 8:15:57 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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lareveur
Clinton, TN
33, joined May. 2013
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Haha!! Theres a female on dh that airbrushes her eyes that creepy blue color too
FYI.. u cant airbrush anything on snapchat babe, they just have funny filters (like the one on my main). So she's using a diff app.
Btw.. sorry wut ur going thru. That really is messed up. Rip grandpa
Thank you, hon. I don't have SnapChat but my friend Stefanie does, so I just assumed that it was - because the filtering looks so similar.
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| 7/28/2017 8:17:58 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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bosss_babe
Saint Paul, MN
44, joined Jan. 2017
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Can u contact him and get it back?
She looks trailer park btw. Lol.
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| 7/28/2017 8:20:30 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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spotforusername
Fernandina Beach, FL
51, joined Jan. 2013
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Seek therapy.
Get off social media.
Sometimes the simplest solutions are the solution.
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| 7/28/2017 8:22:53 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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lareveur
Clinton, TN
33, joined May. 2013
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Can u contact him and get it back?
She looks trailer park btw. Lol.
I don't know if I can, but I have already spent the last two hours debating this bullshit. All I know is that I just have to get my necklace (and my grandpa's scrimshaw back as well). I could have him drop both of them off at Stefanie's apartment.
Stefanie is another ex, who (my ex dumped for me) but he told me a lie that they already broke up (but were still living together), because he detected that I had a serious issue to being the other woman.
She did warn me, and I apologized to her (for giving him the benefit of the doubt) and we are now very close friends. She has been a huge support system for me in helping me cope with all of this shit. So, I may have to ask her to contact him for me (but she blocked him and doesn't want to have anything to do with him, either). So, I am in a bit of a tight spot.
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| 7/28/2017 8:28:52 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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bosss_babe
Saint Paul, MN
44, joined Jan. 2017
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Do u want me to contact him?
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| 7/28/2017 8:32:29 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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lareveur
Clinton, TN
33, joined May. 2013
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Do u want me to contact him?
Please, but don't fall for his charms lol. He's the only Mal on facebook, just tell him to drop both my grandpa's scrimshaw and arrow-head necklace at Stefanie's. He knows where she lives and what items both of those are lol.
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| 7/28/2017 8:36:22 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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bosss_babe
Saint Paul, MN
44, joined Jan. 2017
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Awwe babe. Im not even on fb.
Well i do have this fake acct i cud use.
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| 7/28/2017 8:38:17 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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lareveur
Clinton, TN
33, joined May. 2013
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I bet I know what he will reply: "No, she gave it to me as a gift."
^ Yeah, THAT was back when I thought I f**king knew and loved him. I don't give away gifts like that to f**king masks. So, it's a breached contract....on so many levels.
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| 7/28/2017 8:40:35 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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bosss_babe
Saint Paul, MN
44, joined Jan. 2017
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Lets get someone to beat him up and take it from him!!
annoy you a bit, however we want to make sure more than a couple of people get a chance to respond in a thread. The 'chat' forums and groups don't have this restriction, only a few forums actually have it. You will almost never get this message if you post thoughtful, on-topic replies.
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| 7/28/2017 8:43:09 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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lareveur
Clinton, TN
33, joined May. 2013
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^ God, I wish lol
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| 7/28/2017 8:48:33 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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bosss_babe
Saint Paul, MN
44, joined Jan. 2017
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I bet john knows some peeps 
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| 7/28/2017 8:58:25 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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korbyn
Bat Cave, NC
98, joined Jun. 2013
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damn. Now this some drama.....
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| 7/28/2017 9:08:33 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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dan9787_3
Laval, QC
54, joined Jul. 2014
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What f**ked up people. If there was a way to sue them...I know there isn't...
I hope you can contact him and get the necklace back...good luck and hope you can get over that soon. 
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| 7/28/2017 9:50:17 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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lareveur
Clinton, TN
33, joined May. 2013
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I know I can't sue and I won't (because I'm not like that).
But also because I know what more excuses my ex boyfriend will possibly have:
"Jesus she didn't even know it belonged to you. She just found it and put it on. Stop making such a big deal about it."
"You gave it to me. I didn't lose it, and SHE was the one who found it on her own. I was away from the truck at the time, and I never told her that it belonged to you."
Even if all that was true, he is still at least guilty of treating it so casually - as I had specifically asked him not to. Because he promised me that he would always wear it. But of course, he won't ever see it that way, to him - he just focuses on me being a drama queen about this bullshit.
It's really sad when a man is such a one dimensional a**hole that your intellect makes you psychic enough that you can correctly predict what his answers / excuses will be... because it's always convenient and to his benefit. He is always blameless, somehow.
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| 7/28/2017 9:52:03 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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_april67
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2017
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OP, I'm sorry you're hurting so much over this man who doesn't seem to deserve you giving him so much thought. It all sounds lousy what he's done to you. I do hope you get your grandpa's necklace back. He shouldn't have given it to this woman he's now with.
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| 7/28/2017 9:56:00 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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dan9787_3
Laval, QC
54, joined Jul. 2014
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I know I can't sue and I won't (because I'm not like that).
But also because I know what more excuses my ex boyfriend will possibly have:
"Jesus she didn't even know it belonged to you. She just found it and put it on. Stop making such a big deal about it."
"You gave it to me. I didn't lose it, and SHE was the one who found it on her own. I was away from the truck at the time, and I never told her that it belonged to you."
Even if all that was true, he is still at least guilty of treating it so casually - as I had specifically asked him not to. Because he promised me that he would always wear it. But of course, he won't ever see it that way, to him - he just focuses on me being a drama queen about this bullshit.
It's really sad when a man is such a one dimensional a**hole that your intellect makes you psychic enough that you can correctly predict what his answers / excuses will be... because it's always convenient and to his benefit. He is always blameless, somehow.
If he makes excuses like that he's either full of it or a spineless shit, he knew how much it meant to you.
Oof, good luck with that.
Do try to contact him though and persuade him to give it back.
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| 7/28/2017 10:23:43 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
65, joined Oct. 2009
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Seek therapy.
Get off social media.
Sometimes the simplest solutions are the solution.
Excellent suggestion!
NEXT TIME don't go giving away your precious heirlooms and believing weak promises. This is really your own fault and you should have taken better care of it. Remember your grandpa and how much he meant to you and try to do something positive with the memories and life lessons.
As far as the post goes I read about a third of it. You make yourself look like a f**king nutcase ranting and raving and being totally out of control like that. You're pissed because you know you shouldn't have given it away in the first place and yet you foolishly did.
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| 7/28/2017 10:26:12 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
65, joined Oct. 2009
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I know I can't sue and I won't (because I'm not like that).
But also because I know what more excuses my ex boyfriend will possibly have:
"Jesus she didn't even know it belonged to you. She just found it and put it on. Stop making such a big deal about it."
"You gave it to me. I didn't lose it, and SHE was the one who found it on her own. I was away from the truck at the time, and I never told her that it belonged to you."
Even if all that was true, he is still at least guilty of treating it so casually - as I had specifically asked him not to. Because he promised me that he would always wear it. But of course, he won't ever see it that way, to him - he just focuses on me being a drama queen about this bullshit.
It's really sad when a man is such a one dimensional a**hole that your intellect makes you psychic enough that you can correctly predict what his answers / excuses will be... because it's always convenient and to his benefit. He is always blameless, somehow.
Why did you give a priceless heirloom to a one dimensional a**hole? That really wasn't very bright. If he's such a jerk you knew he had to f**k up sooner or later.
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| 7/28/2017 11:17:15 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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lareveur
Clinton, TN
33, joined May. 2013
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Why did you give a priceless heirloom to a one dimensional a**hole? That really wasn't very bright. If he's such a jerk you knew he had to f**k up sooner or later.
Which explains why I am also pissed off at myself. I gave it to him when we were living together. I truly loved him and wanted him know how deep that love went. So, it caused me to feel this need in expressing it to him in that way, because that is how I felt about him. I thought it would show him how much he meant to me, and hoped it would make things between us show how much I was willing to make things work out.
I also left my grandpa's scrimshaw (that I never gave to him) in his truck, because at the time that we were packing for my hotel room, he was still pressing me on how much this break would be "such a progress for us" (also how he still pressed on giving me his word that during this six month "break," he would never date nor talk to any women). And seeing as how I didn't feel safe leaving it in the hotel room (with all the housekeeping staff being there - while I would have been out and about looking for a job). I just felt it would have been safer to leave it in his truck (since I truly trusted his promises that this break was to work on getting our shit together for our relationship). Yes, I knew he lied to me at that point, but I never once thought his capabilities were ever this low (or heartlessly cruel).
But sadly, he picked up his "fiance" on the very same evening he dropped me off at the hotel, then later went back on every promise and word he ever gave me (by telling me, two days later, via facebook) only to sic his fiance on me two weeks later, and so here I am.
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| 7/29/2017 12:59:59 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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rightguyforu732
Lisle, IL
39, joined Jun. 2017
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Ur an idiot lareuver. Piss poor judgement on ur part. U reap wat u sow.
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| 7/29/2017 5:33:23 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011
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Seek therapy.
Get off social media.
Sometimes the simplest solutions are the solution.
I tend to agree with this statement....and you might consider hiring someone on the cuff, to get the necklace back.
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| 7/29/2017 5:44:46 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011
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OP....the more you view face book or whatever observing what they are doing, the more upset you get.
Even being on a dating site forum, with the way the genders can get towards each other, the things you read can make a person more upset or feeling bad towards the other gender.
And the goal here is to get over this and to move on....the above doesn't help in this process, it only makes things worse.
See, if you can get the necklace back somehow.....then stop viewing what they are doing, and try to come to terms with this all, if you can't do it on your own, seek counseling.
Hey...I was with a woman and helping her out in her things and she stole my car and disappeared....I got over it...but was pissed too.
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| 7/29/2017 5:47:55 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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anglicus_femina
Staffordshire
United Kingdom
43, joined May. 2016
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I bet I know what he will reply: "No, she gave it to me as a gift."
^ Yeah, THAT was back when I thought I f**king knew and loved him. I don't give away gifts like that to f**king masks. So, it's a breached contract....on so many levels.
He broke the terms of the gift. So you'd be right to ask for it back.
However, legally unless you put it into writing you don't stand much chance of that.
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| 7/29/2017 6:10:32 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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_april67
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2017
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OP, I hope he gives you the necklace back. Legally there might not be anything you can do about it since nothing was in writing.
I agree with Bee about the more you are on Facebook looking at & reading his & her profiles, isn't going to help you in feeling any better. Probably making you feel worse.
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| 7/29/2017 9:34:45 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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_purdibirdi_
Nice
France
51, joined Apr. 2014
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I know I can't sue and I won't (because I'm not like that).
But also because I know what more excuses my ex boyfriend will possibly have:
"Jesus she didn't even know it belonged to you. She just found it and put it on. Stop making such a big deal about it."
"You gave it to me. I didn't lose it, and SHE was the one who found it on her own. I was away from the truck at the time, and I never told her that it belonged to you."
Even if all that was true, he is still at least guilty of treating it so casually - as I had specifically asked him not to. Because he promised me that he would always wear it. But of course, he won't ever see it that way, to him - he just focuses on me being a drama queen about this bullshit.
It's really sad when a man is such a one dimensional a**hole that your intellect makes you psychic enough that you can correctly predict what his answers / excuses will be... because it's always convenient and to his benefit. He is always blameless, somehow.
Yes, you can!!! It was a family heirloom given on the premise/condition of being in a partnership. Kinda of like a guy giving his grandmother's ring to a woman. I'm sorry you are having to go through this kind of crazy betrayal from someone who meant/means so much to you. But, if you really want it back and you want those two to know you are dead serious-- File a claim in civil court for the 'return' of your arrowhead. This will also put them on notice not to "f**k" it up or ruin it, or there may be consequence.
It really takes very little to file. You will have to pay a filing fee, but you can request the judge to get that back. However, I would suggest you write a formal letter to your Ex and this woman for the return of the arrowhead- thus making a paper trail of you requesting the return of your property and establish their denial(by word or action) to do so. It will show the court you have tried every way(by word & written letter) to 'request' the safe return of your property-- and using the "COURT" is your last resource. Be clear,hun, I'm not trying to give you any legal advice, LAV. I'm just telling you that it isn't that hard to file a claim on behalf/return of the property that has so much 'emotional' value to you.
I know this is the last thing you need/want to hear-- but, you really should count your blessings that such a piece of crap is out of your life. I know you don't feel it now because of all the hurt/betrayal you're experiencing... but, hun, I promise you in time--you will be the one 'escaping' the bullet. 
If I can be of any help, or even if you just need to 'vent,' don't hesitate... message me. I'll be here for you.
[Edited 7/29/2017 9:36:17 AM ]
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| 7/29/2017 2:06:26 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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sandcrabs
Long Lake, WI
54, joined Feb. 2013
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Dat True ^^^ ! Legally its viewed as a contract. j/s
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| 7/29/2017 4:23:21 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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packersbabe920
Green Bay, WI
52, joined Jul. 2013
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Sorry op, u can get it back cause he gave it to his girlfriend, talk to a lawyer, or get somebody to talk to him pretend it's a lawyer, I guaranteed he will give it up
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| 7/29/2017 4:26:49 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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neal356
Oxford, AL
59, joined May. 2014
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ask the girl for it
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| 7/29/2017 8:32:46 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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OP -- I believe I am correct in stating that my granddaughter was 8 years old when she even had enough sense to know I was too old to have a 'boyfriend'.
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| 7/29/2017 10:55:00 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
65, joined Oct. 2009
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You're a big girl now so the answer is simple.
DON'T leave heirlooms with a boyfriend/girlfriend. This is just the sort of thing that may happen.
DUMP the expletive deleted bleeper! You know the moron is no good.
You must have had lots of chances to date a nice guy but you go out with a jerk like this and then write two whining posts about what a loser the guy is! You probably knew the guy was a loser so you were attracted to him but if the guy is employed, treats women well, and is a great guy you shoot him down without even giving him a chance. I suppose you figure the nice guy is too good for you and you'd be correct in thinking that. You feel superior to the jerk so you date him no matters how badly he behaves, no matter how he cheats and no matter how many times he beats the snot out of you. The guy is a bad boy loser. You knew this and you dated him anyhow. Don't complain when the guy acts like a jerk. This is what bad a** loser jerks do. Still, you won't even consider giving a nice guy a chance would you? With judgement like that a nice guy would figure he can do better and in theory he is right.
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| 7/30/2017 5:13:19 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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sadlsticsienna
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016
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Stop stalking her.
Obviously if you're watching her facebook you're going to see crap that annoys you.
Do yourself a favor, grow up a bit and stop looking at it.
You gave the necklace to him as a gift, don't expect to get a gift back.
You have no legal claim or entitlement to get it back so don't bother imo.
also it's not 'airbrushed'
it's photo-shopped or she used a stupid filter on her phone lol.
Besides she looks ratty and low Ses anyways
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| 7/30/2017 5:51:31 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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lareveur
Clinton, TN
33, joined May. 2013
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Excellent suggestion!
NEXT TIME don't go giving away your precious heirlooms and believing weak promises. This is really your own fault and you should have taken better care of it. Remember your grandpa and how much he meant to you and try to do something positive with the memories and life lessons.
As far as the post goes I read about a third of it. You make yourself look like a f**king nutcase ranting and raving and being totally out of control like that. You're pissed because you know you shouldn't have given it away in the first place and yet you foolishly did.
Appreciate you trying to help by putting things into perspective, but you're not expressing anything that I hadn't already reflected and considered about myself. I think the important thing is that I actually do self reflect, which is more than what I can say about my ex. Between him and me - I am the only person who came here seeking help and insight on this issue. He has issues, that he desperately swings from one romantic distraction to the next (that's his MO for avoiding his true self with a re-written facade). He just deflects, excuses, lies and moves on to the next distraction (or target) without a second thought to all the devastation he left behind. Oh sure, he made variations here and there. For example, when he saw how serious I was about getting to the truth, he amped up on lying about everything. From every "I love you" to "giving me his word about the six month break and not dating any woman." Now, he has improved with an "upgrade" of a woman who is clearly not the sharpest tool in the shed. Why is that considered an upgrade for him? Because it makes her easier to manipulate and control without being challenged by someone who can think for herself. Because unlike this new fiance, I refused to dye my hair red and chop my hair as short as she has it now, and I dyed it black because I wanted some piece of myself to belong to me. That shows a sense of identity, which his new fiance clearly lacks.
Also, this post shows me that you lack an understanding of the emotional ladder: This post showed how angry and irate I was. My last post was far worse and further down the emotional ladder - because instead of expressing anger, it was far more depressing and despairing. I consider anger a higher notch than despair, confusion, fear and heartbreak. But because despair and depression looks far calmer than anger, most people don't ascribe negative personality labels like "nutcase." But if they improve from despair or fear to anger - they get shot down with insulting nutcase posts like yours.
Why did you give a priceless heirloom to a one dimensional a**hole? That really wasn't very bright. If he's such a jerk you knew he had to f**k up sooner or later.
As I said, I gave him that necklace back when his bullshit hadn't developed, and the issues of our relationship felt like they were caused by external issues (such as debt, my body shutting down, stress, etc...) rather than him. Also because his excuses so early in the relationship felt like reasons, until enough time had passed that should have clearly shown any mistake he could have made as a human being - but still had a reason, answer or an excuse for all of them instead of what I felt was a long overdue apology.
The fact that he still reached for the top shelf excuse (if I brought those same issues back) showed me just how shallow his former apologies were. Because if his latest emotion on that issue was genuine remorse, his mind (as well as his memory) should have updated him strongly enough to apologize again (and to neglect the same excuses he used that caused the fighting to begin with). For example, he stated to me that he hates drama. But he seems to love utilizing drama to get what he really wants. He told me that he did everything he could think of to try to get his last ex to break up with him. That had my skepticism going off, because (just like his last ex) he wasn't f**king me, either. So I asked him very plainly: "So, how do I know you're not trying to force me to break up with you?" He ASSURED me that he wasn't because I'm the kind of person where if he wanted to dump me, he just would.
So, when he told me he needed this "six month break" so he could improve OUR circumstances with money and also to try to fix his issues, I believed him. He even kept selling this: "I need to take a break and be by myself so I can fix my issues" at the same exact moment that his new fiance was taunting me with how they were getting married. So, when I confronted him about his new fiance, he turned silent and logged off. Because I was confronting him with his true self - and not the facade he was still playing. Which means he can't stand himself... no wonder.
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| 7/30/2017 6:02:46 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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Mercedes_3
New South Wales
Australia
90, joined Jun. 2016
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Do u want me to contact him?
Can I contact that scrag? 
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| 7/30/2017 6:03:39 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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lareveur
Clinton, TN
33, joined May. 2013
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Also, if you actually take a look at his past posts (of which there are over a thousand to choose from), the whole point as to why I took a chance on this prick is because he did a superb job in posing as the "nice guy who always finishes last." The nice guy who always seems to be the dumpee, rather than the dumper... because women are too shallow for the badass to appreciate a nice, kind, boring guy like him. What a f**king crock of shit. That tragically misfired a vital signal to me - that he treats breakups as a last resort. At the time, that is what I got from his well crafted rants here on the forums. Well, I now know that it was all a fake facade. Because it's a trick, and it's a secret trick that he consciously uses as an effective tool. The trick being that he uses breakups as a first rate option (if the grass is greener on the other side) sure, he was honest in saying that he always gets dumped. But the real truth and secret is that he makes sure to act like an a**hole just enough.... so that they dump him instead - and he walks away with a "clean image," a breakup he always wanted, and a new distracting girlfriend.
Unfortunately, I was not an ideal candidate for him, obviously - because my intellect refused to fall prey to his lies with every fight we had, I held him accountable and KEPT at it, and I was fiercely loyal to him, despite his a**hole behavior.... which meant breaking up with me was going to be a challenge. Because unlike his facade, I truly do treat break ups as a last resort. So, when he said it was "stress," my loyalty kicked in and said: "Well we can get passed it," etc...etc...
He deprived me of sex, and any time I cried out to him through emotional pain over it, he raised up the a**hole behavior by saying: "Well, I don't know what you expect me to do about it." He knew my intelligence was smart enough to perceive a cold non-nonchalant attitude about it, which of course I would call him on it, which he would feed into it with more smug casual prick phrases, which would lead to another "mother of all fights." And the best part about it? Statistics say that women are far more likely to go back to a**hole exes, than real genuine nice guys. So, he has the method, the clean image, the new girl and his ex being put in cold storage as a favoring statistic to his potential benefit. Because it has always been about him and what he wanted... consequences and destroyed lives be damned.
I'm sorry, but I am the type of woman where if you want to break up with me, you can't beat around the bush... because it causes me to assume that you still want this relationship to work. He not only posed as that, by still sending me messages that he loved me, missed me "baby," how is my job hunt doing, etc... but had many opportunities to break it off even then (as I said - he was thousands of miles away in his truck at the time that he was still acting like he was working on himself for us). He could have told me: "Look, I know you still love me. But I am thousands of miles away and I met someone else and she is here with me now. It's over." And been done with it. But because he was so adamant on stringing me along, I told him to never contact me again (and I haven't contacted him since and never plan to). I'm even trying to convince a friend to contact him about my necklace for me. So, it's not like I lack control. I was just a woman deeply in love who felt hurt, lost and confused and needed answers (if not closure). I even asked him straight out for either one (while he was still miles away): "I only want either hope or final closure." His response: "Well, I can't give you either right now." He should have just given me the closure I asked him for. Instead, he had a complete nutcase stranger, gleefully tell me that everything I once had with him was over... by rubbing her new relationship with him in my face, and now wearing my dead grandpa's beloved necklace and posting it on facebook, while constantly praising how "wonderful" her fiance is like a raving sycophant.
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| 7/30/2017 6:12:08 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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john_cnc
Charlotte, NC
50, joined Jul. 2017
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She looks British. I bet she has rotted teeth.
Hey there LaRev  
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| 7/30/2017 6:23:29 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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lareveur
Clinton, TN
33, joined May. 2013
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She looks British. I bet she has rotted teeth.
Hey there LaRev
BUDYYYY!!!!
    
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| 7/30/2017 6:24:48 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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john_cnc
Charlotte, NC
50, joined Jul. 2017
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Happy Sunday morning! You been to bed yet?
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| 7/30/2017 8:54:33 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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sadlsticsienna
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016
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Honestly they are posting that stuff to terrorize you. They obviously know you're looking at it.
Either way really the healthiest thing to do at this point is to avoid them and move on.
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| 7/30/2017 9:00:56 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010
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You know, OP -- If you go to the courthouse there in Anderson County, and go to the Clerks Office -- request permission to access the vault -- take down the first official records book, look at the Index -- find the name "Clinch" -- read the entry -- then come back on DH and tell us what you discovered.
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| 7/30/2017 9:21:56 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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truly000
Fort Dodge, IA
38, joined Dec. 2011
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Life lesson there.
Forget about this guy.
Forget about this girl.
You're giving to much time an energy to these people.
Focus on moving on.
Gray wall and move on
So you can have peace.
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| 7/30/2017 11:28:48 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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testsignup
Springfield, VA
64, joined Sep. 2009
online now!
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As I told you before at far too much length, I understand what you are going through. The only things I can say that might help at all, are that...each of us have lessons which we have to learn the hard way, and the emotional ones which are tied to the core of our beings, and to the essence of our understandings of our lives, are the hardest and most violent of all.
I wont tell you tsk tsk for your mistake in trusting him with your treasured items from your grandfather, because I had to learn that lesson that way as well. I wont tell you to get therapy, because I know how insanely expensive that is, and I paid attention to the details where you made it clear that you aren't independently wealthy enough to do that.
And I actually applaud your venting about it all, because this kind of thing is very much like a physical wound. Venting gets the poisons out, which might otherwise permanently damage you. Even more important, and convenient, venting like this is the closest thing a person can get to expensive therapy without the doctor (and the bills). As you express everything about this, you will also (eventually) discover that putting it into words alone, changes what you are able to think about it.
The only other thing I can say to help a little, is that again, I did go through something relatively similar, made a far bigger fool of myself, and survived. You can too.
[Edited 7/30/2017 11:29:44 AM ]
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| 8/1/2017 11:42:33 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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lucky_1million
Pewaukee, WI
50, joined Jun. 2013
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I hope things are going better for you now.
It's tough to go through a messy break up.
I hope you were able to contact your ex, resolve these issues and get your stuff back.
P.s. probably not a good idea to name names, but I can understand why you are hurt.
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| 8/3/2017 8:04:59 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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bookwormtobutte
Rio Rancho, NM
37, joined Jan. 2016
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Go get your necklace, by any means possible.
Then move on, and one day probably in the next few years after you've moved on and forgotten about him, you some how find out that this rehab, crazy, drama addicted, sloth has fubar'ed his entire life.
Men always falling for the crazy ones, then become all jaded towards all women in the aftermath cause his life was destroyed by hurricane crazy.
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| 8/3/2017 8:09:59 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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sadlsticsienna
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016
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Swear they won't give that necklace back.
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| 8/3/2017 8:23:00 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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uncle_bulgaria
Houston, TX
50, joined Apr. 2017
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Move on 
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| 8/3/2017 8:24:32 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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john_cnc
Charlotte, NC
50, joined Jul. 2017
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Move on
You move on.
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| 8/3/2017 8:32:58 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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4uijack
New Port Richey, FL
82, joined Aug. 2013
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You move on.
Move on yourself!!!
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| 8/4/2017 6:01:54 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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Mercedes_3
New South Wales
Australia
90, joined Jun. 2016
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Swear they won't give that necklace back.
Give her some hope.
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| 8/4/2017 1:04:20 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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sadlsticsienna
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016
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Give her some hope.
Just being realistic.
She has no claim over it after giving it as a gift and really
Saying anything to the ex will definitely just cause problems.
I'm like 99.999% sure it will go extremely badly if she asks for it back.
Best to spare herself and just try and move on from the whole situation
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| 8/4/2017 3:52:54 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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lareveur
Clinton, TN
33, joined May. 2013
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Just being realistic.
She has no claim over it after giving it as a gift and really
Saying anything to the ex will definitely just cause problems.
I'm like 99.999% sure it will go extremely badly if she asks for it back.
Best to spare herself and just try and move on from the whole situation
I had a friend contact him, he told this friend that he can send me back both my necklace and scrimshaw - but through mail.
As for the family photos - he claims that they're not there (when I know I left it on the side compartment of the truck).
He just better make sure that it doesn't get lost, or it will be worse for him (as I intend to press charges).
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| 8/4/2017 4:26:42 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
65, joined Oct. 2009
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Did you figure it out yet?
Did you go back to him?
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| 8/4/2017 4:31:22 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
65, joined Oct. 2009
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I had a friend contact him, he told this friend that he can send me back both my necklace and scrimshaw - but through mail.
As for the family photos - he claims that they're not there (when I know I left it on the side compartment of the truck).
He just better make sure that it doesn't get lost, or it will be worse for him (as I intend to press charges).
Oh, give it a rest. You did something really dumb and it blew up in your face. Typical stubborn woman! Now you're blaming the guy for your stupidity! It's a life lesson. I suppose you expect him to give you the money so you can sue him? That lawyer will want to be paid up, he won't be cheap and when you stiff him you'll be hearing from his lawyer.
Give it a rest! No wonder the guy started looking around.
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| 8/4/2017 4:55:26 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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lucky_1million
Pewaukee, WI
50, joined Jun. 2013
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doesn't get lost
He should send it certified mail. Then he will have proof that you received your stuff.
I returned a very nice engagement ring after I broke up with an ex of mine a long, long time ago. I didn't even have to be asked to give it back. Some gifts are given with strings attached. Reasonable people get this.
He's probably not a bad person.
Sometimes people hurt each other even though it is not their intentions.
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| 8/5/2017 4:51:35 AM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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sadlsticsienna
AñatuyaNew South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016
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I had a friend contact him, he told this friend that he can send me back both my necklace and scrimshaw - but through mail.
As for the family photos - he claims that they're not there (when I know I left it on the side compartment of the truck).
He just better make sure that it doesn't get lost, or it will be worse for him (as I intend to press charges).
you gave it as a gift, pretty sure you have no real standing to press charges?
Surprised he is giving it back, is it safe to send through the mail?
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| 8/6/2017 3:12:41 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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ktown2431
Knoxville, TN
27, joined Jan. 2014
online now!
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Jus get the f**k over it.... U got played and hopefully lesson learned jus don't fall for it again... One thing that definitely won't help is complaining online about it and b*tching about how hard u got it.. Jus get in line to b*tch about problems cause everyone has got them.. Jus grow a set of balls an realize u got played dumbass..
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| 8/6/2017 4:43:01 PM |
Cruelest Boyfriend Update - Seriously Don't Know What To Do... |
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packersbabe920
Green Bay, WI
52, joined Jul. 2013
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I had a friend contact him, he told this friend that he can send me back both my necklace and scrimshaw - but through mail.
As for the family photos - he claims that they're not there (when I know I left it on the side compartment of the truck).
He just better make sure that it doesn't get lost, or it will be worse for him (as I intend to press charges).
Great u will get it back, and don't give out anymore
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