| 6/16/2011 5:48:53 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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becky_2010
Sevierville, TN
48, joined Jan. 2010
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Quote from becky_2010: Good thing you're back...it was about to be highjacked beyond reason. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, whew. Glad that didn't happen. 
No doubt..that's one of those rare occasions around here.
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 6/16/2011 5:50:31 PM |
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randa_1990
Meadville, PA
26, joined Oct. 2010
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Dodged that bullet!
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| 6/16/2011 6:11:03 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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wrldsgr8estkssr
Denver, CO
54, joined Sep. 2010
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So can someone tell me the overall concensus....or must I go back and read all this stuff?
Can I date more than one at a time or not? 
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| 6/16/2011 6:12:51 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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slendermiss
Edmonton, AB
46, joined Feb. 2011
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So can someone tell me the overall concensus....or must I go back and read all this stuff?
Can I date more than one at a time or not?
Overall Synopsis
shroudsqt is in fact an AW
Hi jacks killed your OT Sorry bout that
[Edited 6/16/2011 6:13:31 PM ]
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| 6/16/2011 6:14:46 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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shroudsqt
Silver Spring, MD
26, joined May. 2011
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Overall Synopsis
shroudsqt is in fact an AW
Hi jacks killed your OT Sorry bout that
I'm secretly in cahoots with the Taliban.
[Edited 6/16/2011 6:15:00 PM ]
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| 6/16/2011 6:16:00 PM |
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vickyxoxo
Lakeland, FL
28, joined Mar. 2011
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i dont see a problem with dating more than one person at a time.
the problem lies with:
is the guy trustworthy and honest?
does he have sex with most of his dates?
can he stop having sex with whomever he wants when he decides he's serious about someone?
like someone else said on your thread, dating does not always mean theres sex, but his other actions will speak for him as far as being trustworthy goes.
[Edited 6/16/2011 6:17:31 PM ]
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| 6/16/2011 6:18:38 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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becky_2010
Sevierville, TN
48, joined Jan. 2010
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So can someone tell me the overall concensus....or must I go back and read all this stuff?
Can I date more than one at a time or not?
Yes you can. But the other person may/may not like for you to. So if you really have an interest in continuing to date her, just make sure she knows and accepts that you are dating others. If she doesn't accept then you either have the choice to move on or agree to only date her.
I think that pretty much sums it up.
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| 6/16/2011 6:28:35 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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shroudsqt
Silver Spring, MD
26, joined May. 2011
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I have a question, Why would you even want to date two people at the same time? and how would you feel if the guy you were talking to that you were really interested in was talking to someone else while talking to you?
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| 6/16/2011 6:29:51 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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akachipmonster
Columbus, OH
56, joined Sep. 2010
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So can someone tell me the overall concensus....or must I go back and read all this stuff?
Can I date more than one at a time or not? [/quotep
OOH! THAT thread.....
Yeah, you'll have to go back aways for that....
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| 6/16/2011 6:32:36 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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lisa29405
Oak Harbor, WA
54, joined Jun. 2007
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Yes you can. But the other person may/may not like for you to. So if you really have an interest in continuing to date her, just make sure she knows and accepts that you are dating others. If she doesn't accept then you either have the choice to move on or agree to only date her.
I think that pretty much sums it up.
Yeah, what she said
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| 6/16/2011 6:35:39 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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lilwaya
Mercer, PA
55, joined Jun. 2011
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I agree with you when your only dating you have every right to date others. However it is better to be upfront with the woman you are getting to know that you are dating others as well. No it is not cheating your only dating but being honest and upfront stops anyone from forming expectations and feelings from developing.
When all are on the same page no one can be hurt. If you hide the fact or in a way lead her to believe she is the only one your dating it is not fair.
For me I will only date one guy at a time and wait to see where it goes. Even though I don't think it is wrong to date multiple people I won't date someone who is doing that. Nothing wrong with it but I know me well enough to know that I am to old to have to try to compete with multiple others for his attention or time. It's just not worth it.
I'm the same way. For me its a case of how can you get to truly know someone, when you are dating others. If you only want what you said, be specific in your profile.
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| 6/16/2011 6:41:14 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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2wheelpilot
Beatty, NV
49, joined Oct. 2010
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I have a question, Why would you even want to date two people at the same time? and how would you feel if the guy you were talking to that you were really interested in was talking to someone else while talking to you?
it hasn't been a problem for me. if it was then i would be a hypocrite. i am actually very supportive of their 'other dates' and wish them luck. if they find me interesting, attractive and fun to be around, then i really have little to worry about.
-chip
eta: i am actually talking to a couple of ladies right now that i just cannot get to yet and we talk about their dates. one even asks questions about some of her dates actions and wants my opinion on it.
[Edited 6/16/2011 6:45:21 PM ]
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| 6/16/2011 6:45:47 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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randa_1990
Meadville, PA
26, joined Oct. 2010
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I have a question, Why would you even want to date two people at the same time? and how would you feel if the guy you were talking to that you were really interested in was talking to someone else while talking to you?
Most do weather they admit it or not, at least in the beginning. Actually that makes it a larger compliment when they choose me
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| 6/16/2011 6:47:32 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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akachipmonster
Columbus, OH
56, joined Sep. 2010
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I guess it just depends on how you define dating. I don't view dating as a comittment beyond the plans we made for that date. Knowing other people, doing other activities has nothing to do with 'getting to know' someone.
It's kind of natural evolution. When I'm really getting into someone, The other dates or activities just begin to dwindle. At some point we have an open discussion about becoming exclusive or not.
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| 6/16/2011 6:51:19 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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hotpink36
Springfield, OR
45, joined Jul. 2008
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I have a question, Why would you even want to date two people at the same time? and how would you feel if the guy you were talking to that you were really interested in was talking to someone else while talking to you?
when I was young I felt the same way I have dated 4 men in my life and have married 2 of them when your young you date someone and have hopes of finding the one. Now that I'm older and maybe jaded I want to keep my options open and won't settle or over look things that bother me so I may go out with a couple differant guys in one week to see how we click
I'll be honest tho I miss the way dating used to be this whole we never said we were exclusive talk. I had to learn about the hard way about that
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| 6/16/2011 6:51:31 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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wrldsgr8estkssr
Denver, CO
54, joined Sep. 2010
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I have a question, Why would you even want to date two people at the same time? and how would you feel if the guy you were talking to that you were really interested in was talking to someone else while talking to you?
Ummm... seeing two people at the same time os what the thread is about.
Now just for you a scenario of how such a thing could happen...
Just met someone and u like the person. Not serious for you've just met. Uve had a date or two... u cross another at the grocery. U make eye contact. Exchange smiles, casually talk. Someone gets asked out... BAM! youre dating two!... simple huh?
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| 6/16/2011 6:56:21 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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akachipmonster
Columbus, OH
56, joined Sep. 2010
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I disagree hotpink. I don't think that's the way it was or should be. The only difference now is we have the internet to explore more options and the venue for people to b*tch openly...lol
Casual dating has always been around. It's casual until you find one upon which you want to focus.
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| 6/16/2011 7:01:06 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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happenstancetoo
Darien, WI
48, joined Mar. 2011
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Just met someone and u like the person. Not serious for you've just met. Uve had a date or two... u cross another at the grocery. U make eye contact. Exchange smiles, casually talk. Someone gets asked out... BAM! youre dating two!... simple huh?
I have to ask, because I don’t understand this, when do you know when to stop? I’m asking in all honesty, because I don’t know. If you’re constantly dating, there will always be another option to try out, so how will you know that the next date isn’t the one and you better stick with who you’re currently dating? Not to mention if the people you’re dating are doing the same thing, how can a relationship develop?
I think everyone should as many people that they want to, as long as everyone is honest and on the same page. I just don’t see how it can move beyond dating using this ‘method’.
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| 6/16/2011 7:02:24 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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vickyxoxo
Lakeland, FL
28, joined Mar. 2011
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I have a question, Why would you even want to date two people at the same time? and how would you feel if the guy you were talking to that you were really interested in was talking to someone else while talking to you?
because when you just meet someone, youre not sure if theyre the one for you just yet, so its called keeping your options open.
chemistry can be had with any guy. its what he does outside of our mere physicall attraction that can keep me
so even though i may like him initially, that could change, and i dont know him. so while im getting to know him, im also dating other guys too so i can eventually make a decision
i tried dating around 4 guys at once (no sex with any of them) but i couldnt keep the names or what we talked about straight. so its only two at a time, if that.
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| 6/16/2011 7:03:33 PM |
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jammil
Valdosta, GA
34, joined Apr. 2010
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You never can come off as clingy if you're spread thin, Shroud...
I think that at my peak I was talking to 10-12 women successfully. I have a good memory it seems, LOL!
[Edited 6/16/2011 7:04:24 PM ]
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| 6/16/2011 7:09:50 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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micmac01979
Boulder, CO
38, joined Feb. 2010
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Quote from happenstancetoo: "I have to ask, because I don’t understand this, when do you know when to stop? I’m asking in all honesty, because I don’t know. If you’re constantly dating, there will always be another option to try out, so how will you know that the next date isn’t the one and you better stick with who you’re currently dating? Not to mention if the people you’re dating are doing the same thing, how can a relationship develop?
I think everyone should as many people that they want to, as long as everyone is honest and on the same page. I just don’t see how it can move beyond dating using this ‘method’.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Because... once you've met someone else, it doesn't preclude you from going on further dates with the first person.
My current girlfriend and I first met on a Friday evening. We both had other dates later that weekend, and the weekend after. We enjoyed each others' company. After 3-4 more dates we were really starting to hit it off with each other, felt quite a connection, so we decided to go exclusive. The conversation was easy. We stopped dating the other folks we'd been casually seeing and decided to focus on each other. Neither of us have any beef that the other was seeing other folks when we first met.
Been 7 months now and things are going great. I'm not really sure what's so difficult about the concept.
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| 6/16/2011 7:19:20 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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jammil
Valdosta, GA
34, joined Apr. 2010
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Holy shit Micmac, that's awesome to hear!
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| 6/16/2011 7:21:00 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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shroudsqt
Silver Spring, MD
26, joined May. 2011
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Jammil, if you're talking to a girl, she won't want you to be talking to another girl. or will she?
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| 6/16/2011 7:21:25 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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flirty_n_fun67
Belleville, ON
50, joined Sep. 2010
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Yes you can. But the other person may/may not like for you to. So if you really have an interest in continuing to date her, just make sure she knows and accepts that you are dating others. If she doesn't accept then you either have the choice to move on or agree to only date her.
I think that pretty much sums it up.
I concur...me i'm only a one man at a time dater...soooooo i would be the one who wouldn't agree and would choose not to date someone dating others at the same time...
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| 6/16/2011 7:21:42 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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randa_1990
Meadville, PA
26, joined Oct. 2010
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She wont care if she's seeing other guys
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| 6/16/2011 7:23:00 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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jammil
Valdosta, GA
34, joined Apr. 2010
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Shroud, every girl knew I was talking to others. My girlfriend I have now says that she knew what she signed up for when she started dating me. She even told me that she was exclusively dating as that's all she does. (She's a monodater...)
[Edited 6/16/2011 7:23:47 PM ]
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| 6/16/2011 7:24:20 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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shroudsqt
Silver Spring, MD
26, joined May. 2011
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Interesting, every girl I've come across cares if I'm talking to other girls.
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| 6/16/2011 7:24:42 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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vickyxoxo
Lakeland, FL
28, joined Mar. 2011
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You never can come off as clingy if you're spread thin, Shroud...
I think that at my peak I was talking to 10-12 women successfully. I have a good memory it seems, LOL!
yeah but im sure you hardly talked, if you know what i mean
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| 6/16/2011 7:26:36 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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jammil
Valdosta, GA
34, joined Apr. 2010
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yeah but im sure you hardly talked, if you know what i mean
I talked to the ones I was most interested in.
I will say that texting is quite great for keeping track and keeping up with many girls at once.
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| 6/16/2011 7:27:44 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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micmac01979
Boulder, CO
38, joined Feb. 2010
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Quote from shroudsqt: Interesting, every girl I've come across cares if I'm talking to other girls.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doesn't mean they're not talking with other guys. You'll learn.
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| 6/16/2011 7:37:05 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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happenstancetoo
Darien, WI
48, joined Mar. 2011
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Been 7 months now and things are going great. I'm not really sure what's so difficult about the concept.
When you’re dating two people and you drop one, do you pick up another? And when you decide you like the third one better than the first, do you drop off the first and pick up number four in case you might like them better? And then while you’re getting a movie, number five asks you out and hey, he’s kinda cute, now you’re dating three. Gotta keep your options open.This is what I don’t understand and what I see happening; this “the next one might be better” mentality.
I talked to a lot of men at the same time until a date was set up with one. Then I just let the others know I had a date and most replied to let them know if it didn’t work out; simple. That’s how I did it; I’m not saying that’s how anyone else should do it. Just trying to understand how it works the other way.
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| 6/16/2011 7:41:23 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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micmac01979
Boulder, CO
38, joined Feb. 2010
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You have this odd notion that there "must be two at all times" or something.
The concept is the exact same as yours with talking to several guys at once. Except here, "talking" includes talking in person over a dinner or some other fun activity. It really is that simple. When you're ready to commit to one of them you just tell the others it didn't work out, sorry.
I still don't get what's so confusing about it. A date is nothing more than a date, just getting to know someone. It's not in itself a commitment.
Edit: Read your scenarios back to yourself and think honestly if this sounds a bit silly:
"When you’re talking with two people online and you drop one, do you pick up another? And when you decide you like the third one better than the first, do you delete the first and pick up number four in case you might like them better? And then while you’re reading your e-mails, number five talks with you and hey, he’s kinda cute, now you’re talking to three. Gotta keep your options open."
Not an issue?  Same thing.
[Edited 6/16/2011 7:46:59 PM ]
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| 6/16/2011 7:50:41 PM |
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happenstancetoo
Darien, WI
48, joined Mar. 2011
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You have this odd notion that there "must be two at all times" or something.
It might be odd, but it is the topic.
I still don't get what's so confusing about it. A date is nothing more than a date, just getting to know someone. It's not in itself a commitment.
I agree, but that’s not what I’m asking.
When you’re talking with two people online and you drop one, do you pick up another? And when you decide you like the third one better than the first, do you delete the first and pick up number four in case you might like them better? And then while you’re reading your e-mails, number five talks with you and hey, he’s kinda cute, now you’re talking to three. Gotta keep your options open."
Lol…You kinda got me there, but talking online and dating are as different (to me) as dating and a relationship.
[Edited 6/16/2011 7:54:10 PM ]
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| 6/16/2011 7:55:05 PM |
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micmac01979
Boulder, CO
38, joined Feb. 2010
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"Lol... You kinda got me there, but talking online and dating are as different (to me) as dating and a relationship."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dating, at first, is just getting to know someone. You seem to imply a relationship is there from the moment someone says "yes" to the first date. Others don't make that one-sided assumption. If you truly believe it's just spending time getting to know someone, the concept is pretty simple.
[Edited 6/16/2011 7:57:04 PM ]
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| 6/16/2011 8:13:56 PM |
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binderdundat
New Orleans, LA
56, joined Sep. 2008
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An even simpler concept is "to each their own".
There is no right or wrong answer to this question... it's a personal choice. Period.
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| 6/16/2011 8:18:36 PM |
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happenstancetoo
Darien, WI
48, joined Mar. 2011
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Dating, at first, is just getting to know someone. You seem to imply a relationship is there from the moment someone says "yes" to the first date. Others don't make that one-sided assumption.
The only commitment made is to go on a date. No assumptions about the existence of a relationship. If I like him and he likes me and we have dates set up for later in the week, both of who we like as well, and they have dates set up with other people later in the week and so on and so on…when does it stop? When you’re done checking out your current options? That’s what I’m trying to understand.
I guess by the time I got through talking to men online, and found one I was interested in dating, I felt no need to add another man to the picture. The men I dated (I was lucky) were all really great. I usually ended up dating them for a few months and I would have been hard pressed to choose between them had I been dating them at the same time. I guess it’s just not something I’m cut out for.
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| 6/16/2011 8:23:40 PM |
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micmac01979
Boulder, CO
38, joined Feb. 2010
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I guess by the time I got through dating women, and found one I was interested in going exclusive with, I felt no need to add another woman to the picture. The women I dated (I was lucky) were all really great, they just weren't all for me.
That answer it? You've obviously got a lot of head games when it comes to dating... or at the very least imply there's a lot more to it than just getting to know someone. I'm not saying it's for you (doesn't have to be), but the idea isn't that hard to comprehend, I'm not sure how to put it any simpler.
[Edited 6/16/2011 8:27:45 PM ]
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| 6/16/2011 8:41:50 PM |
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happenstancetoo
Darien, WI
48, joined Mar. 2011
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That answer it? You've obviously got a lot of head games when it comes to dating... or at the very least imply there's a lot more to it than just getting to know someone.
Not even close. (Why so touchy on this subject?) The only one implying things here is you. You’ve managed to imply that you actually have a clue about how I view dating based on my choice to date one person at a time. Since you seem to know so much about my views on dating, do tell, what head games do I play? I never said anything was wrong with dating multiple people, just trying to understand how it works. If that’s too difficult for you to answer, without making assumptions and implications, don’t bother to respond. I’m not interested in getting in a pissing match here.
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| 6/16/2011 8:53:11 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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micmac01979
Boulder, CO
38, joined Feb. 2010
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You said yourself "The only commitment made is to go on a date."
If that were actually the case, the whole idea of "just going on a date" with more than one person isn't difficult to comprehend. The "neverending revolving door" picture you seem to latch onto in your mind is just as silly when it's applied to your talking online with several guys simultaneously. I explained it simply, you just went back to asking about the same premise without thought or consideration.
I grow weary explaining the same thing again and again (and again). It really isn't that hard to grasp. Have a good day.
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| 6/16/2011 9:04:46 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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2wheelpilot
Beatty, NV
49, joined Oct. 2010
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I will say that texting is quite great for keeping track and keeping up with many girls at once.
^^^^^SLUT!!
-chip
p.s. or should have said man wh*re?
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| 6/16/2011 9:15:21 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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nicerackoflamb
Colorado Springs, CO
32, joined May. 2011
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Quote from 2wheelpilot:
^^^^^SLUT!!
-chip
p.s. or should have said man wh*re?
Man wh*re
IMHO
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| 6/16/2011 9:23:57 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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2wheelpilot
Beatty, NV
49, joined Oct. 2010
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i suppose you are right laney, but since the word 'slut' has been tossed around so much lately i figured it was only fitting that i call a man that.
-chip
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| 6/16/2011 9:27:32 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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nicerackoflamb
Colorado Springs, CO
32, joined May. 2011
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Has it?
I hadn't noticed.
Hmmm.
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| 6/16/2011 9:34:39 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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runningfoc0
Fort Collins, CO
28, joined May. 2011
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I'm a uno-dater.
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| 6/16/2011 11:25:09 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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sweet_megs
San Antonio, TX
39, joined Mar. 2011
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As long as it's just dating he can see who he likes, I would PREFER if he mentioned that he was seeing other people, just so I don't get my hopes up, but EH it's whatever. If he picks someone else I would move on to the next one either way soo he can do as he likes.
I agree with this point of view. I would prefer to know so I bring it up pretty early in the dating if I begin to develop feelings for someone. I don't even like the idea of kissing someone who just kissed "Sally" good night two nights ago. It just makes me uncomfortable. If that's an issue, I own it. I am not about to change me now. If someone is serious about me, it will be something we talked about really early in the cycle.
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| 6/16/2011 11:31:47 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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stobil
Gallatin, TN
37, joined Nov. 2009
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I'm a uno-dater.
You date card games?
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| 6/17/2011 8:08:00 AM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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wrldsgr8estkssr
Denver, CO
54, joined Sep. 2010
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An even simpler concept is "to each their own".
There is no right or wrong answer to this question... it's a personal choice. Period.
Most everything is about personal choice isnt it? Thats what discussions are about. At least it is to me.... expressing PERSONAL point of view. 
But some of these point of views are waaaaay crazy out there huh? 
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| 6/17/2011 8:14:28 AM |
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wrldsgr8estkssr
Denver, CO
54, joined Sep. 2010
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I think it's so important that you make sure that you both are on the same page. I've been hut and I've hurt others by not laying my cards out on the table. People are hopefully evolving all the time and what they wanted in the past might not be want they are looking for now. I would want to know if someone I was dating was dating other women and I would want to know a little bit about that person. For example if a 50 year old man claimed he wanted a LTR and was dating an 18 yr old still in high school it might change the way I view him! And if he were sleeping with someone else... well lets just say that would be the end of our conversation!
Why would you want to know if he were seeing someone else? Would that make you THINK he was less serious about you? Wold that make you less serious or change your thoughts/feelings about him.
Do you commit to buying the first melon you squeeze... or squeeze a few others first?
(and not talking bout me.. just playing advocate ok) 
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| 6/17/2011 3:31:27 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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crimsonreality7
Lexington, KY
29, joined Dec. 2010
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i have never seen a guy with a hairbow
i guess theres a first for everything
LMAO at male Chip
maybe i will call female Chip something else.
Randa....me too! the horoscopes are always wrong (when im bored enough to check them out) but the personality description is spot on.
I never read the actual prediction stuff related to the horoscope as I don't believe in it. But the personality description has always been spot on, no matter where I go look at it online.
Though I do tend to laugh my a** off when it tries to tell me I'm not gonna be compatible with someone by their sign. Every time I happen to have had someone with the sign I'm supposedly "compatible" with, I've had some rough relationships and rough endings.
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| 6/17/2011 3:40:03 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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crimsonreality7
Lexington, KY
29, joined Dec. 2010
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You have this odd notion that there "must be two at all times" or something.
The concept is the exact same as yours with talking to several guys at once. Except here, "talking" includes talking in person over a dinner or some other fun activity. It really is that simple. When you're ready to commit to one of them you just tell the others it didn't work out, sorry.
I still don't get what's so confusing about it. A date is nothing more than a date, just getting to know someone. It's not in itself a commitment.
Edit: Read your scenarios back to yourself and think honestly if this sounds a bit silly:
"When you’re talking with two people online and you drop one, do you pick up another? And when you decide you like the third one better than the first, do you delete the first and pick up number four in case you might like them better? And then while you’re reading your e-mails, number five talks with you and hey, he’s kinda cute, now you’re talking to three. Gotta keep your options open."
Not an issue? Same thing.
I've met a lot of people that wanted to be exclusive after date one, and then some that would never say anything about the others that they were dating but would randomly disappear for months at a time. I haven't met any guys that have been up front about seeing other people like you've mentioned in previous posts.
Personally, I'd be ok with it because it's a date, not a commitment; and I'd probably see 1 or 2 others as well.
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| 6/17/2011 3:51:08 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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wrldsgr8estkssr
Denver, CO
54, joined Sep. 2010
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Seems like the majority of you are saying it's okay to date more than 1 at a time. Now unless you know he/she is not going to commit to anyone, it's competition. BUT ... on the other hand (thread), you say you wont/don't compete?
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| 6/17/2011 4:09:53 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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akachipmonster
Columbus, OH
56, joined Sep. 2010
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I don't consider it competition. Why would I? I'm not claiming territory.
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| 6/17/2011 4:22:43 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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micmac01979
Boulder, CO
38, joined Feb. 2010
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It's always been sort of a competition, at least a little bit, although it's strange to phrase it that way. Even if you're exclusive and it isn't going well they can always break it off and go out with someone else. Nothing about dating more than one changes that at all. Same as it always was.
But regardless, I've never really thought of it like competition, the analogy doesn't seem to fit. When I first meet a date I'm just getting to know them, not trying to put a ring on their finger as quickly as possible. There's no competition just in getting to know someone. Is there? I've never thought "they coulda been mine but someone else stole them!" If we don't work out, we weren't meant to be, simple as that.
Edit: ^^^ Chip (the beeatch) said in three sentences what took me two paragraphs.
[Edited 6/17/2011 4:26:32 PM ]
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| 6/17/2011 4:37:51 PM |
We're ONLY dating. Why cant I or shouldnt I date someone else too? | Page 4 |
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ryruns
Panama City, FL
41, joined Jun. 2011
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I'm actually glad to see that I'm not the only one who deals with this issue and that there seems to be somewhat of a concensus on the communication thing. I'll start by giving an analogy...say you want to learn to play a musical instrument..you go out and buy a guitar, a sax, and a piano..you are just dabbling around with them trying to figure out which one you want to focus on because it's not hard to figure out you'll never become proficient on any one if you don't at some point pic one and focus your efforts on it. I liken this to dating. Once you decide which instrument you are most drawn to or interested in pursuing you put aside the other ones and focus on it so you can become skilled with it. I liken this to the begining of a relationship or at least to the decision to get to know someone. Obviously relationships aren't quite that simple, they deal with emotions, insecurities, fears, and just human nature in general. But in a certain sense they really are that simple. I'm somewhat old school or old fashion although after reading this maybe not so much since a lot of people seem to feel the same way I do on the issue. Once two people decide they like each other enough to see each other on a regular basis more often than not at least one if not both of the individuals are going to want the other to stop seeing other people. whether it is 2 weeks or 2 months into things just depends on the persons involved. The last person I dated I knew for a couple of months before we actually started seeing each other and although I had been out with her once or twice I really had no right to expect her not to see other guys nor did she have the right to ask me to not see other girls. we weren't technically "seeing" each other. after we had been out a few times, were basically talking every day, and both knew that we liked each other and wanted to get to know each other I sat down and told her that I would really like to get to know her better and that I didn't date multiple people. I said I know that's a little old school but she agreed and said she felt the same way about things. I told her straight up if she wanted to see other guys just to let me know. Of course if she would have said that I would have stopped seeing her in a romantic capactity because I would have felt like I was sharing her with other guys in a manner of speaking. I find it impossible to develop trust and or intimacy, holding hands, kissing, sex, or whatever with a girl who I know is doing the same thing with other guys..just doesn't seem right. Honestly would most people here want to be with a person who tells you how great you are Saturday night knowing full well they were planting their lips on someone elses two days prior..lol...just doesn't compute. The problem is that people DON'T communicate and talk about these things and when one of the person's involved finds out this person he or she thought was so into them is seeing others and not just them conflicts arise. There is nothing wrong with seeing others so long as it is mutually agreed upon but I don't think it is right to just assume the other person doesn't care.People do assume things, especially when emotions ect are involved. Personally I don't legitimately think you can call it a relationship or really get to know a person if you are not exclusive but that needs to be clearly defined. It's not an issue of how long you have been seeing the person but what your intentions and that should be made clear.
[Edited 6/17/2011 4:39:49 PM ]
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