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10/20/2012 4:03:12 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
rdeffley
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,158)
San Jose, CA
35, joined Sep. 2009


What are your thoughts on talking about sex before meeting in person? I think it is a good idea myself. We are all adults and talking openly about sex doesn't mean you have to start having it right away. I just think it is a good way to judge basic sexual compatibility. I have personally dated more than a few women that I felt a good mental/emotional connection with only to find out that they were not compatible with me at all sexually. Then it sucks losing that person because you are more invested. So now I make it a point to find out about sexual tastes pretty soon into the process. That way I am not getting overly invested or wasting my time.

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10/20/2012 4:18:12 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
bluehope518
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,123)
Prague
Czech Republic
43, joined Jul. 2012


i believe this depends on the 2 individuals in question, this could in some cases be sabotage even if it is mutual...

10/20/2012 4:20:39 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
ctrguy
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,192)
Roseville, CA
53, joined Sep. 2012


it usually depends on the chic involved.

10/20/2012 4:21:41 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
iwannateaseyou
Dallas, TX
33, joined Jun. 2012


I never talk about sex...NEVER!

10/20/2012 4:26:04 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
iheartidiots
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (17,286)
Grove City, OH
39, joined Feb. 2012


I'm kind of iffy on this. One hand I want to be able to know at least a lil bit if perhaps we could be sexually compatible. On the other hand, I don't want the person to feel that that is the most important aspect of my life bc its not.

10/20/2012 4:41:00 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
la_dv8
Over 2,000 Posts (2,258)
Albuquerque, NM
32, joined Sep. 2012


I never speak about the devil's tango

10/20/2012 4:58:43 PM Talking about sex before meeting  

nursesugar72
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,108)
New Caney, TX
43, joined May. 2011


its a very tricky subject these days. if you talk about it too soon then either party might think you are only out for sex. if you don't talk about it as you said you might not have the connection you are looking for in all aspects of a relationship and it all needs to be there. i have found that the most spontaneous dates are better ones and usually there hasn't even been time to talk about sex. once ive talked to someone for quite a long time about nearly every aspect of a relationship including sex and we never met and that was very disheartening.

im a very open minded person but if a man wants to talk sex within a second email its way too fast and i don't want to wait a long time before meeting because it might not ever happen?

so you just have to feel right and have a gut instinct i guess

10/20/2012 6:12:32 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
rptr12
Rochester, NY
27, joined Sep. 2012


Quote from fangel77:
I would never ever ever... ever ever ever... ever ever ever ever.. talk about not talking about not sex.








I see what you did there

10/20/2012 6:23:45 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
westy690
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,619)
Phoenix, AZ
44, joined Mar. 2011


it pretty common nowadays to talk about sex beforehand and its perfectly ok and healthy..esp with internet dating..

even if she has some sort of sex hangup or claims of "I only want LTR/bf sex"..

they can and will discuss that..

and then after we can rule them out..lol

10/20/2012 7:42:09 PM Talking about sex before meeting  

mscia83
Columbus, OH
33, joined Oct. 2012




10/20/2012 11:16:50 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
mrgatorman
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,632)
Miami, FL
41, joined Sep. 2012




10/28/2012 9:54:53 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
snarrky
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,729)
Americana
Brazil
42, joined Jun. 2012


Not sure how this one died? It's a good topic. Was it the waving fool above me that killed it?

10/28/2012 9:56:32 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
bluehope518
Over 4,000 Posts! (7,123)
Prague
Czech Republic
43, joined Jul. 2012


very well could have been...

10/28/2012 9:59:41 PM Talking about sex before meeting  

steamyviolet
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (18,183)
Beaverville, IL
46, joined Jun. 2009











10/28/2012 10:00:04 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
7inchdom
Over 1,000 Posts (1,569)
Jeffersonville, IN
40, joined May. 2011


Talking about sex at any point is fine. But if its all you talk about then dont expect results any better than a quick lay.

If you have a broad spectrum of conversation the chats about sex wont be such an issue. And I agree with op, sex is part of understang if two people are compatible.

10/28/2012 10:02:20 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
eriaction
Over 2,000 Posts (2,040)
Hendersonville, NC
31, joined Jul. 2012


I personally like talking about sex before meeting...I am a sexual person though, and I typically like to find someone as sexual... So having some phone conversations first...To feel it out never hurts..

For me...I cant speck for others

10/28/2012 10:02:39 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
angell7619
Over 2,000 Posts (2,287)
North Little Rock, AR
40, joined Aug. 2012


Most likely so Snarrky. That is all he does is wave...no posts. I guess that is how he got all his stars.

And on the topic....I agree with blue. Hi my sexy blue!

10/28/2012 10:02:50 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
ctrguy
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,192)
Roseville, CA
53, joined Sep. 2012


I usually just tell chics that the ones that are doing me the most have dibs on any serious relationships and ask them if they have any questions.

10/28/2012 10:10:29 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
ashley_m_h
Dayton, OH
30, joined Oct. 2012


Compatibility is a good conversation. I would suggest a few other topics first. If u start the conversation from the beginning about sex or something sexually over the top I'm not going to take u too seriously.

10/29/2012 4:14:11 AM Talking about sex before meeting  
rdeffley
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,158)
San Jose, CA
35, joined Sep. 2009


Quote from ashley_m_h:
Compatibility is a good conversation. I would suggest a few other topics first. If u start the conversation from the beginning about sex or something sexually over the top I'm not going to take u too seriously.


I agree with you there. First I have to see if a woman has a sense of humor, if she is intelligent, witty, etc.. Then once I have a basic attraction to her personality, I bring up my sexual tastes. I am very direct and blunt when it comes to the topic though. I have no problem admitting I like sex or that I have an aggressive dominant personality in the bedroom. If a woman doesn't have the mix of being a good classy woman outside the bedroom, and wanting to be treated like a freaky slut between the sheets she isn't for me. The biggest turn on is a strong woman who is usually in control being submissive in the sack.

10/29/2012 9:35:23 AM Talking about sex before meeting  
ashley_m_h
Dayton, OH
30, joined Oct. 2012


Quote from rdeffley:
I agree with you there. First I have to see if a woman has a sense of humor, if she is intelligent, witty, etc.. Then once I have a basic attraction to her personality, I bring up my sexual tastes. I am very direct and blunt when it comes to the topic though. I have no problem admitting I like sex or that I have an aggressive dominant personality in the bedroom. If a woman doesn't have the mix of being a good classy woman outside the bedroom, and wanting to be treated like a freaky slut between the sheets she isn't for me. The biggest turn on is a strong woman who is usually in control being submissive in the sack.


That's me all the way. I am a boss on the streets. It's nice to lose that control in the bedroom

10/29/2012 9:36:16 AM Talking about sex before meeting  
jaket6996
Gainesville, FL
27, joined Oct. 2012


if it feels right do it

10/29/2012 9:38:38 AM Talking about sex before meeting  
eriaction
Over 2,000 Posts (2,040)
Hendersonville, NC
31, joined Jul. 2012


emm muscles

10/29/2012 9:38:57 AM Talking about sex before meeting  
mi1kmaiden
Watertown, NY
33, joined Jul. 2012


Quote from jaket6996:
if it feels right do it

Somehow, I think it would. ^^

10/29/2012 9:39:00 AM Talking about sex before meeting  
jaket6996
Gainesville, FL
27, joined Oct. 2012


all yours

10/29/2012 9:45:51 AM Talking about sex before meeting  
water228
Over 7,500 Posts!! (9,586)
Wheeling, WV
43, joined Jun. 2012


Discuss your likes and dislikes before meeting always a good thing!!

10/29/2012 9:47:23 AM Talking about sex before meeting  
jaket6996
Gainesville, FL
27, joined Oct. 2012


AGRREED

10/29/2012 9:48:11 AM Talking about sex before meeting  
bro_sif
Saint Louis, MO
30, joined Aug. 2012


As important as sex is in a relationship, I think its important to feel each other out a little before wasting time. On the other hand, if all you have in common is your sexual appetite, don't expect it to go too far past sex.

10/29/2012 10:01:01 AM Talking about sex before meeting  
ashley_m_h
Dayton, OH
30, joined Oct. 2012


Quote from bro_sif:
As important as sex is in a relationship, I think its important to feel each other out a little before wasting time. On the other hand, if all you have in common is your sexual appetite, don't expect it to go too far past sex.


Sorry gotta say it, you are f**king hot!!

10/29/2012 10:04:09 AM Talking about sex before meeting  
bro_sif
Saint Louis, MO
30, joined Aug. 2012


Thanks

10/29/2012 10:07:19 AM Talking about sex before meeting  
rob_rol
Oklahoma City, OK
48, joined Sep. 2012


The subject usually finds it's way in an fuels the excitement of courtship an if u mesh on a lot of points sex seems to blend in nicely,

10/29/2012 11:44:14 AM Talking about sex before meeting  

rob0213
Canton, MI
41, joined Oct. 2012


Nothing wrong with seeing if the two people have similar sexual expectations. You don't want to be too forward or creepy, but I think it's a good idea, especially when talking online. You need to set ground rules and know where things are going. If you don't want sex and I do, we need to make sure that it is out there. You just don't wanna end up being super creepy guy.

10/29/2012 11:54:53 AM Talking about sex before meeting  
morganleigh92
Over 1,000 Posts (1,931)
Alexander City, AL
23, joined Feb. 2012


Yes, me and my man like to talk about (mainly his) sex stories of our past relationships.

10/29/2012 12:19:52 PM Talking about sex before meeting  

kmk98
Leesburg, IN
66, joined Jun. 2012


If you can't talk about the sexual expectations that you have then there is no reason to believe that you can live up to your partner's. You can say "Hey I adore eating p*ssy, just not yours"

10/29/2012 2:14:28 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
dearprudence7
Over 2,000 Posts (2,525)
San Marcos, TX
55, joined Mar. 2012


I've never had a sit down, let's just talk about this situation, but it does seem to get out there. Usually it's in the context of banter, innuendo, teasing. Unless one or both are brain dead you can usually figure out what someone's tastes are during flirting when it gets to more intense flirting. And I find it more fun finding out about someone that way. I wouldn't want it to feel like we are comparing resumes. All aspects of sex should be fun, and good banter is basically part of foreplay to me.

10/29/2012 3:38:19 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
noteasy1
Spanaway, WA
75, joined Apr. 2011


i think that after talking online for a bit, that sex SHOULD be discussed..in detail !

10/30/2012 1:42:19 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
xirishprincessx
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (23,200)
Saint Joseph, MI
40, joined Jul. 2012


Quote from snarrky:
Not sure how this one died? It's a good topic. Was it the waving fool above me that killed it?

Haha * bump

10/30/2012 1:45:49 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
wgk1963
Over 1,000 Posts (1,219)
Denver, CO
52, joined Aug. 2012


Im a grown-up. I can talk about ANYTHING and at ANY TIME. If I will or not... THAT'S another question.

10/30/2012 2:33:01 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
john487
King of Prussia, PA
46, joined Nov. 2011


I'm kinda on the fence on this one.
Might be you pull the trigger too early and miss what you're aiming for.
If you're all like, "I just wanna know if you're gonna let me put it in you're a** before I blow 60 bucks on dinner." she might just think you're a d*ck.

On the other hand, if she's one of those girls that wants to wait like months and then it's only some stale vanilla sex at the end of this blue ball eternity, that's something you might want to know right out of the gate.


10/30/2012 2:49:20 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
ashley_m_h
Dayton, OH
30, joined Oct. 2012


Quote from john487:
I'm kinda on the fence on this one.
Might be you pull the trigger too early and miss what you're aiming for.
If you're all like, "I just wanna know if you're gonna let me put it in you're a** before I blow 60 bucks on dinner." she might just think you're a d*ck.

On the other hand, if she's one of those girls that wants to wait like months and then it's only some stale vanilla sex at the end of this blue ball eternity, that's something you might want to know right out of the gate.


I think the point is to ask what the two
Of you are into or against. Boundaries, capabilities and experience.

10/30/2012 4:29:21 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
deborah3722
Dunnellon, FL
54, joined Oct. 2012


Quote from rdeffley:
What are your thoughts on talking about sex before meeting in person? I think it is a good idea myself. We are all adults and talking openly about sex doesn't mean you have to start having it right away. I just think it is a good way to judge basic sexual compatibility. I have personally dated more than a few women that I felt a good mental/emotional connection with only to find out that they were not compatible with me at all sexually. Then it sucks losing that person because you are more invested. So now I make it a point to find out about sexual tastes pretty soon into the process. That way I am not getting overly invested or wasting my time.







You are very sexy..

10/30/2012 5:14:15 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
iheartidiots
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (17,286)
Grove City, OH
39, joined Feb. 2012


Quote from rob0213:
Nothing wrong with seeing if the two people have similar sexual expectations. You don't want to be too forward or creepy, but I think it's a good idea, especially when talking online. You need to set ground rules and know where things are going. If you don't want sex and I do, we need to make sure that it is out there. You just don't wanna end up being super creepy guy.

You are very attractive!

10/30/2012 5:19:19 PM Talking about sex before meeting  
viewbenz
Chicago, IL
27, joined Oct. 2012




11/3/2012 1:03:33 AM Talking about sex before meeting  
zoozy31
Pittsburgh, PA
36, joined Apr. 2012


Quote from bro_sif:
As important as sex is in a relationship, I think its important to feel each other out a little before wasting time. On the other hand, if all you have in common is your sexual appetite, don't expect it to go too far past sex.



11/3/2012 10:05:51 AM Talking about sex before meeting  
lipbiter12
Over 2,000 Posts (2,249)
Seagrove, NC
33, joined Aug. 2012


Quote from bluehope518:
i believe this depends on the 2 individuals in question, this could in some cases be sabotage even if it is mutual...


Ditto...

My special someone & I, inadvertently began flirting and would tease each other suggestively, but we also talked about anything and everything in between. It was solely that "one topic" conversation...probably one reason we' overall, are still together 1.5 yrs. later.

It's very funny how the two of us can take virtually anything anyone says, and turn it into something naughty. But it's all good and I've never had such a strong connection, love, etc. for anyone else before him.