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Forums: Dating General Discussion: Why do men ASSUME that you're looking to get laid?
6/9/2008 8:51:42 AM Why do men ASSUME that you're looking to get laid?  

lovlywidow
Buffalo, NY
age: 63

 I am a widow who is looking for a nice man for dating. Why, when one begins e-mailing certain responsive persons, do they automatically (guys)start talking about sex?
Can't you figure out that as a relationship progresses, sex will automatically happen.....or are they so HARD up, that they're ready to go from internet to my bed, in one leap?
They are ruining it, and making me sick!!! Can we ladies hear from the men on this?
6/9/2008 8:58:39 AM Why do men ASSUME that you're looking to get laid?  

wileyguy
Wilkes Barre, PA
age: 37

 sorry,but it's not only guys who do this.people make assumumptions and are usually innacurate.if someone truly wants to get to know you,then your statement is correct,it'll come naturally.
6/9/2008 9:09:33 AM Why do men ASSUME that you're looking to get laid?  

evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 35

 What's the point of you dating if you don't put out?

Might as well call Beverly and Candice over for nights of bridge and Gin.
6/9/2008 9:12:02 AM Why do men ASSUME that you're looking to get laid?  

ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!

 The men you are referring to are doing all of us a great service. They usually occupy the gals who don't mind the leap from the web to the bed. It frees up the gals, such as the OP, for the romantic-minded guys and clears the playing field quite nicely.
6/9/2008 9:12:31 AM Why do men ASSUME that you're looking to get laid?  

eyeztellall
Duluth, MN
age: 57

 I would really like to know the answer to this one myself. As I have met a few that think they can take me to bed on the first meeting but it's not going to happen. I really am believing that men are trying to show that they still got it but honey.. you have to keep me amused outside the bedroom too... lol There are a few nice guys out there also .. we just run into a few of the bad ones at times... lol Don't give up..
6/9/2008 9:19:21 AM Why do men ASSUME that you're looking to get laid?  

ll53
Three Rivers, MI
age: 55

 I just read your profile and think that it needs some tweeking....
You opening statement, says that you are willing to "party if the man likes too."

Party implies wild woman on the prowl....
Which I am sure is not the case.

Then there are men who are on a site for only one thing, weed them out early.

State friends first, you present a different image and will attract different gentlemen.
They really do exist.
6/9/2008 9:33:58 AM Why do men ASSUME that you're looking to get laid?  

tabooparadox
Louisville, KY
age: 34

 I'll try to answer this one. I don't think I fall in this category, or at least I hope not. Most men don't know how to take their time anymore. We live in a world where everything happens now and not a week from now. On top of that, the socializing period of dating a woman is an area that most men dread because it leaves room for error and mistakes. Why do men dread it? Because most women either will never forgive a mistake or give the man a clue on how to ask for the forgiveness. "I'm sorry" seems to have lost it's meaning to so many woman that the women have become more complex and individually unique in their self defined acceptable apoligy formats. In essence, men live in a confusing world where what used to be is no more and what is would take a lifetime to relearn. The tie-in I'm going for with this is the following: Men are very primal creatures still. We have the animal instincts and taking a woman to bed is not as deep as an emotional experience as it is for a woman. I'm not saying that all men are like this, but a lot of us are. To deter the type of man you see, please continue to deny until you find it to be the right time. The man that would be worth it, is the one that never gives up trying in a tasteful manner. The men that are not worth it are the one's you turn away. As for those men that immediately start talking about sex, if that's not your style, then simply move on. They will either change their ways or find what they're looking for.

On a side note. It upsets me when women have bad experiences with men and then immediately proceed with categorizing men in a derogatory way. I am a man! Do I expect sex? no. Do I expect sex after a nice dinner and play? no. I expect sex when the woman I am seeing is comfortable with it and only after I am as well. I AM hard up! I'm hard up for a woman that is intelligent enough to hold a descent conversation, strong enough to stand on her own feet, smart enough to know how to act and when, knows the difference between her life, my life and our life, and knows how to be a friend as well as a lover. That's what I'm "hard up" for. I'm trully sorry that you're getting sick of the games that men play, but women play them too and to be honest, I'm getting sick of it as well. Here's the cure to that: Go look in the mirror and say: We're all human, we all make mistakes, I'm sorry for my mistakes; so, I am going to forgive everyone else's.

I'm not meaning to be rude here. Just realistic.

Thanks for listening,
Tabooparadox
6/9/2008 9:37:14 AM Why do men ASSUME that you're looking to get laid?  

snowflowers
Ft Mitchell, KY
age: 42 online now!

 i like to get to know a person first.If a man ask me about going to bed with him or into some kind of group sex,hes not worth of my time.im not in no hurry,i got got plenty of time to find the right man.
6/9/2008 9:37:46 AM Why do men ASSUME that you're looking to get laid?  

lust4love
Atco, NJ
age: 37

 because its a natural ,healthy part of life??? maybe thats the wrong answer
6/9/2008 10:01:35 AM Why do men ASSUME that you're looking to get laid?  

irresistiblered
Aurora, CO
age: 43

 Wait a minute...aren't we all want to get laid?...I mean...is the sexual part of a relationship not included?

I think the trick is that men and women want it at different times. There is no harm in talking about it, early on. But men want it to happen sooner, rather than later. Women want to develope feelings and connections, first.

However, in most adult relationships, you naturally expect sex to be a part of (an important part of) the relationship.

What is a turn off for women, is when you just met a guy and things start getting hot and heavy too quick. Without trust and a certain level of connection and chemistry, it feels unappropriate...hmmm..uncomfortable.

I personally would like to get intimate with my guy AFTER I know there is some degree of exclusivity involved. If he has a few play mates going on the side, which he is absolutly entitled to...BEFORE we are intimate, he needs to make up his mind and then get me to bed. Then if things are not good enough, he can break it up and then try new fields to play.

JMHO.
6/9/2008 10:11:24 AM Why do men ASSUME that you're looking to get laid?  

swatbig
Virginia Beach, VA
age: 45

 I think it is hard to actually know what the woman wants. Many times signals are miss interpreted. There were many times that i took it slow thinking this is what she wantedbut she thought that a was to shy because of it. Other times i went to fast. Why cant it be laid on the today quickly. Like hey i like you and want sex now or hey i would like to have a relationship before sex. It would save a lot of time and trouble. i missed out on a few good women because of the mixed signals. I would have done to differently if i would have know.
6/9/2008 10:13:25 AM Why do men ASSUME that you're looking to get laid?  

kittyriffic
Georgetown, FL
age: 52

 I think they are confused with the name of the site being datehookup translated to mean hooker dates
6/9/2008 10:16:46 AM Why do men ASSUME that you're looking to get laid?  

lobo_corazon
Kingston, ON
age: 39
Quote from evileddy:
What's the point of you dating if you don't put out?

Might as well call Beverly and Candice over for nights of bridge and Gin.

Mmmm... Gin!

6/9/2008 10:46:33 AM Why do men ASSUME that you're looking to get laid?  

nitecaller
Edmonton, AB
age: 46

 id love to say because they are but infact most men think with the the smaller head between the legs i use to be a small hehehe minded guy then i just grew up sorta kinda
6/9/2008 10:52:45 AM Why do men ASSUME that you're looking to get laid?  

snowbird1961
Los Lunas, NM
age: 46

 taboo, that was very well said. I agree with you.



lovly, not all men are looking to get laid or think we are. But in the defense of both men and women, it is our nature to often feel the need for sex. It is up to each individual on whether they act on it or control it. We can't place the whole gender race on the spot based on a few bad experiences. We are all different. Just keep looking for the one who fits the image you want. Good luck.



[Edited 6/9/2008 10:56:18 AM]

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