| 6/13/2008 10:13:36 PM |
Must the man be the one to pursue? |
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salsalady5
Sarasota, FL
age: 48
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Flowergirl,
What the hell time is it in Australia?
Oh, the book is "Stop Getting Dumped" by Lisa Daily and I only bought it because I was at a seminar and enjoyed her presentation.
I absolutely hated the thought that any of it might be true. We are sophisticated women, right?
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| 6/13/2008 10:17:57 PM |
Must the man be the one to pursue? |
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bocky1019
Newark, DE
age: 50
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I met a man I bought a kitchen table from that he had in the paper. Its been about a month. I felt an instant attraction, but I don t know him. I called him back a couple times with some stupid ?. I m to shy to just come out with it. Its so much easier online when I know your looking too.
I'm putting some furniture in the paper for sale,maybe find myself a cute woman too... 
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| 6/13/2008 10:19:02 PM |
Must the man be the one to pursue? |
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gr8stwoman
Napa, CA
age: 41
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I completely agree! I posted something about this a while back and because most women and men are so modern, what I posted was (of course) unpopular. But, I've never let THAT stop me; I have never been in search of the "popular vote."
Flower, while I don't know the particular book that the OP has mentioned, I do know you can sign up for free newsletters and even purchase ebooks from www.callingmen.com. Mimi Tanner is the author and she shares the old-fashioned viewpoints the OP mentions. She has also done the research to support what does and doesn't work. By the way, I am in NO WAY affiliated with Mimi Tanner, so I don't benefit from her sales in any way, shape or form. If you would like me to forward any of her free e-mails to you (as I have saved some), feel free to drop me a note.
Here is what I have learned:
Many people who haven't been successful with dating or LTRs don't want to learn what they could be doing wrong. They want to keep doing the same thing even if they get the same result because in their minds they are convinced that it is wrong to be old-fashioned in 2008. I won't pretend I am completely old-fashioned; I am certainly not! However, I have learned from past mistakes. Many guys won't admit that the pursuit is part of a dating experience; some don't know themselves that well and some just refuse to admit something like that.
Will it always be the same?
Yes, but "here's the rub..." most women won't ever agree with this or will argue to the death about this subject, stating that it is 2008 and all of this is rubbish. By doing this, they eliminate themselves from any "competition" in the end. If the woman does not allow the man to set the pace, if the relationship continues, it will always be off-balance. All of this is an opinion based on research as well as personal experiences.
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| 6/13/2008 10:24:20 PM |
Must the man be the one to pursue? |
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fredricko
Pico Rivera, CA
age: 49
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its actually not a pursuit its called romancing the woman,but if no head games are played,full participation,and nothing to be expected from the man just his respect for the woman and charm
[Edited 6/13/2008 10:24:47 PM]
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| 6/13/2008 10:25:52 PM |
Must the man be the one to pursue? |
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gr8stwoman
Napa, CA
age: 41
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its actually not a pursuit its called romancing the woman,but if no head games are played,full participation,and nothing to be expected from the man just his respect for the woman and charm
...and I completely agree with the "no head games!" That is NOT a part of anything that ever works.
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| 6/13/2008 10:36:19 PM |
Must the man be the one to pursue? |
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ak2washington
Kent, WA
age: 52
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I completely agree! I posted something about this a while back and because most women and men are so modern, what I posted was (of course) unpopular. But, I've never let THAT stop me; I have never been in search of the "popular vote."
Flower, while I don't know the particular book that the OP has mentioned, I do know you can sign up for free newsletters and even purchase ebooks from www.callingmen.com. Mimi Tanner is the author and she shares the old-fashioned viewpoints the OP mentions. She has also done the research to support what does and doesn't work. By the way, I am in NO WAY affiliated with Mimi Tanner, so I don't benefit from her sales in any way, shape or form. If you would like me to forward any of her free e-mails to you (as I have saved some), feel free to drop me a note.
Here is what I have learned:
Many people who haven't been successful with dating or LTRs don't want to learn what they could be doing wrong. They want to keep doing the same thing even if they get the same result because in their minds they are convinced that it is wrong to be old-fashioned in 2008. I won't pretend I am completely old-fashioned; I am certainly not! However, I have learned from past mistakes. Many guys won't admit that the pursuit is part of a dating experience; some don't know themselves that well and some just refuse to admit something like that.
Will it always be the same?
Yes, but "here's the rub..." most women won't ever agree with this or will argue to the death about this subject, stating that it is 2008 and all of this is rubbish. By doing this, they eliminate themselves from any "competition" in the end. If the woman does not allow the man to set the pace, if the relationship continues, it will always be off-balance. All of this is an opinion based on research as well as personal experiences.
Good post and good points. I agree that the chase is exciting and good IF you know the person already, or are around them regularly. Same social circle. Maybe that's what she means? The eye contact, the small talk, walking over to her desk to say hi, etc. Same that you can tell she's interested, because she comes over to your desk, she smiles when she sees you come in the room, etc. This is all from the past when you knew the people around you, in school with them, same small town, etc. Natural progression and yes, the man KNOWS and take the initiative. He's not shooting blind.
Approaching a stranger in a coffee shop - WAY different. Neither of you know each other - have never seen each other - total crap shoot. A woman has as much of a chance as a guy does. So go for it. All you're basing the attempt on is LOOKS. Period. You know nothing about them, wether they will say yes or Get the Hell away from me.
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| 6/13/2008 10:40:15 PM |
Must the man be the one to pursue? |
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jill46
Davenport, IA
age: 46
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Thank you bocky..lol
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| 6/13/2008 10:40:33 PM |
Must the man be the one to pursue? |
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flowergirl62
South Australia
Australia
age: 46
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salsalady it's 3pm Saturday afternoon here and yes perhaps I am old-fashioned but I agree with chopperbabe. From my experience when I did approach a male it doesn't go anywhere fast. When a man is interested then you can work from there. Sorry but that is my opinion and I respect everyone elses.
[Edited 6/13/2008 10:40:52 PM]
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| 6/13/2008 10:45:11 PM |
Must the man be the one to pursue? |
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harley9482
Fort Wayne, IN
age: 25
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all due respect to all, but, the man should not be demanded to be the only one to pursue.
That is unjust and unfair to him
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| 6/13/2008 10:46:23 PM |
Must the man be the one to pursue? |
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ak2washington
Kent, WA
age: 52
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Funny, when I've pursued the woman, nothing ever became of it either.
However, when we were both pursuing - we actually ended up in a relationship.
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| 6/13/2008 10:48:42 PM |
Must the man be the one to pursue? |
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flowergirl62
South Australia
Australia
age: 46
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Well I wish you luck with that then..............but no-one is demanding anything. Just stating how I feel and if it doesn't suit someone then - it doesn't suit them. Not really my problem. I am at an age where I have realised certain things work for me and others don't. Just like you know what suits you.
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| 6/13/2008 10:49:02 PM |
Must the man be the one to pursue? |
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gr8stwoman
Napa, CA
age: 41
|
I completely agree! I posted something about this a while back and because most women and men are so modern, what I posted was (of course) unpopular. But, I've never let THAT stop me; I have never been in search of the "popular vote."
Flower, while I don't know the particular book that the OP has mentioned, I do know you can sign up for free newsletters and even purchase ebooks from www.callingmen.com. Mimi Tanner is the author and she shares the old-fashioned viewpoints the OP mentions. She has also done the research to support what does and doesn't work. By the way, I am in NO WAY affiliated with Mimi Tanner, so I don't benefit from her sales in any way, shape or form. If you would like me to forward any of her free e-mails to you (as I have saved some), feel free to drop me a note.
Here is what I have learned:
Many people who haven't been successful with dating or LTRs don't want to learn what they could be doing wrong. They want to keep doing the same thing even if they get the same result because in their minds they are convinced that it is wrong to be old-fashioned in 2008. I won't pretend I am completely old-fashioned; I am certainly not! However, I have learned from past mistakes. Many guys won't admit that the pursuit is part of a dating experience; some don't know themselves that well and some just refuse to admit something like that.
Will it always be the same?
Yes, but "here's the rub..." most women won't ever agree with this or will argue to the death about this subject, stating that it is 2008 and all of this is rubbish. By doing this, they eliminate themselves from any "competition" in the end. If the woman does not allow the man to set the pace, if the relationship continues, it will always be off-balance. All of this is an opinion based on research as well as personal experiences.
Good post and good points. I agree that the chase is exciting and good IF you know the person already, or are around them regularly. Same social circle. Maybe that's what she means? The eye contact, the small talk, walking over to her desk to say hi, etc. Same that you can tell she's interested, because she comes over to your desk, she smiles when she sees you come in the room, etc. This is all from the past when you knew the people around you, in school with them, same small town, etc. Natural progression and yes, the man KNOWS and take the initiative. He's not shooting blind.
Approaching a stranger in a coffee shop - WAY different. Neither of you know each other - have never seen each other - total crap shoot. A woman has as much of a chance as a guy does. So go for it. All you're basing the attempt on is LOOKS. Period. You know nothing about them, wether they will say yes or Get the Hell away from me.
True, ak2, women need to be much clearer with their signals! No one wants to feel like a fool!
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| 6/13/2008 10:51:04 PM |
Must the man be the one to pursue? |
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salsalady5
Sarasota, FL
age: 48
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Washington, and everyone else, thanks for the reply.
I have met someone, from a different online site. It seems things are going well. It's just that we are both middle-aged. Do the basic "rules" apply?
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| 6/13/2008 10:53:16 PM |
Must the man be the one to pursue? |
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fredricko
Pico Rivera, CA
age: 49
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there are no rules,as love has no boundries
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| 6/13/2008 11:03:05 PM |
Must the man be the one to pursue? |
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bocky1019
Newark, DE
age: 50
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Thank you bocky..lol
your very welcome jill....
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