| 2/25/2013 11:27:48 AM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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settee_m
Dallas, TX
64, joined Feb. 2013
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"Once again, you do what you're comfortable with. Are you looking for a potential lover or just another platonic friend? Waiting is great and all, but why deprive yourself, and worse, why risk being permanently friend zoned? "
Huh...what?
Going to a man's home is serious business, it definitely shows interest, on his part for asking and on your part for accepting the invitation....
He'd have to be pretty stupid to infer that means the friend's zone....it would definitely be a step in the right direction...
Jjay, you make it sound like a threat, "either gird those loins or suffer, baby!"
Instead of using the word 'waiting', how about we substitute the word 'anticipating', as in looking forward to....
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| 2/25/2013 11:28:26 AM |
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max811
Palmetto, FL
36, joined Aug. 2010
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Sounds normal to me.
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| 2/25/2013 11:35:00 AM |
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damagedgoods43
Schenectady, NY
48, joined Aug. 2012
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Aw hell, we get like that there's no such thing as waiting! That's hot!
Waiting...if it feels right do it. Yeah that's hot, but then again I do cook.
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| 2/25/2013 11:37:04 AM |
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jjay1970
Syracuse, NY
46, joined Oct. 2011
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Jjay, you make it sound like a threat, "either gird those loins or suffer, baby!"
Instead of using the word 'waiting', how about we substitute the word 'anticipating', as in looking forward to....
Anticipating is a nice word.
As to the girding loins, I thought I said enough times to do what you're comfortable with.
That other part was merely pointing out that your and my perception of reality might not be OP's date's perception.
I've read on these forums that some women feel insulted if the guy doesn't try to kiss 'em. Others have said it isn't a "date" if there's no kiss.
I don't know where OP and her date are, but I merely meant to advise her that some people's feelings get hurt when things they want/expect to happen don't happen.
Also like I said, someone I had invited over thought that meant sex. When it didn't, she was hurt and upset. Although I was interested in her, she thought that because I didn't throw myself at her that she wasn't pretty enough, etc.
Likewise, unless she wants to have the discussion wings mentioned, she might risk hurting this guy's feelings, and he may become disinterested.
But whether or not the guy gets hurt, OP should do what she is comfy with.
Shoot, for all we know, he invited her to his house so she can wash dishes!
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| 2/25/2013 11:59:04 AM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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wgk1963
Denver, CO
53, joined Aug. 2012
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There aren't any rules. Just dont go anyplace/do anything you're uncomfortable with or have any reservations about...(if it doesn't sound right, it probably isn't).
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| 2/25/2013 12:10:31 PM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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desigal2012
Los Angeles, CA
50, joined Dec. 2012
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Thanks to everyone on the forum who replied or will reply to my post.It's nice to discuss.You guys rock
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| 2/25/2013 12:12:22 PM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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cococharms1976
Intercourse, PA
41, joined May. 2012
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Hope everything works out 
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| 2/25/2013 12:13:33 PM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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fly0010
Fort Worth, TX
37, joined Sep. 2012
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Yeah
Make sure to update us with pics off course
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| 2/25/2013 12:15:46 PM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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fing_americans
Houston, TX
50, joined Dec. 2012
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3rd date...Did I timewarp to the 1950s?
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| 2/25/2013 12:20:38 PM |
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desigal2012
Los Angeles, CA
50, joined Dec. 2012
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fly0010 -pics of what?
3rd date...Did I timewarp to the 1950s?- how does it work in your book?
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| 2/25/2013 12:21:27 PM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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desigal2012
Los Angeles, CA
50, joined Dec. 2012
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cococharms1976- thanks!
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| 2/25/2013 12:21:40 PM |
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plantkeeper
Alexandria, VA
53, joined Apr. 2011
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You know what time it is, take mace.......
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| 2/25/2013 12:23:56 PM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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desigal2012
Los Angeles, CA
50, joined Dec. 2012
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You know what time it is, take mace....... -Lol good idea do you do that?
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| 2/25/2013 12:27:02 PM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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pickygirl72
Pinon Hills, CA
46, joined Sep. 2011
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Bring pepper spray and while standing in his living room look for the available exits for your convenience.
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| 2/25/2013 12:36:37 PM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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plantkeeper
Alexandria, VA
53, joined Apr. 2011
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You know what time it is, take mace....... -Lol good idea do you do that?
No, No dates recently, but i can fight...
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| 2/25/2013 12:38:01 PM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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fly0010
Fort Worth, TX
37, joined Sep. 2012
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Bring pepper spray and while standing in his living room look for the available exits for your convenience.
Nah just bring the hand gun and sit in on the coffee table
Why play games !!!!
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| 2/25/2013 12:48:14 PM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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socialgirl73
Janesville, WI
44, joined Oct. 2011
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I usually meet at his house on the first date.....Then again....I am a slut.....
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| 2/25/2013 1:49:49 PM |
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ladyeden
Waynesville, MO
57, joined Apr. 2008
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If he's been a gentleman, not done the leer wink wink when he invited you, he may very well just be looking forward to spending comfy time without a set adgenda.
If that's the case, aren't you going to feel foolish making assumptions, being paranoid, jumpy and eyes rolling with panic every time he moves? You're not going to enjoy yourself all tensed up. Nothing wrong with communicating your concerns either. Would you be more comfortable at your place?
If the switch flips and he lunges (and some will) set him straight. If he presses after that - leave - quickly. Having mace in your pocket is not bad insurance.
Most of all trust your gut and CYA. Make sure someone knows where you're at.
Never mind what the guys say on this - most of them have no clue what it's like for women.
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| 2/25/2013 1:52:35 PM |
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jjay1970
Syracuse, NY
46, joined Oct. 2011
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Quote from caringforu1:
I am fun to hang with.
Dating and getting too close scares the shit out of me
Once bitten, twice shy, eh?
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| 2/25/2013 1:53:57 PM |
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lookin4ones
Hurst, TX
57, joined Oct. 2010
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run a background check and sit at the door for easy access. 
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| 2/25/2013 2:41:02 PM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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plantkeeper
Alexandria, VA
53, joined Apr. 2011
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I usually meet at his house on the first date.....Then again....I am a slut.....
As long as you know....
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| 2/25/2013 8:39:08 PM |
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desigal2012
Los Angeles, CA
50, joined Dec. 2012
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ladyeden:
Actually on his recent txts hes been putting winky faces-does that count as a leery face Lol.Thanks your advice is quite sensible.
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| 2/25/2013 8:54:17 PM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
65, joined Oct. 2009
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I don't date guys. I'd go to her place on the first date if she wanted.
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| 2/25/2013 8:57:44 PM |
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dontmeanharm
Aesch
Switzerland
33, joined Feb. 2013
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That is our third date lol..
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| 2/25/2013 10:27:03 PM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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new562
Colton, CA
54, joined Feb. 2013
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Ask him what the title of the DVD movie is. Anything rated G, PG, or R is OK. If he breaks out the porn, run like hell! Find out in advance how big it is, (the TV, of course)and if there will be popcorn being served. No fake butter either.
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| 2/25/2013 10:28:58 PM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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topcat4you
Memphis, TN
66, joined Sep. 2012
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I would tap that ass
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| 2/25/2013 10:39:20 PM |
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thecorvetteking
Kingsland, TX
40, joined Dec. 2010
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If you seriously have to ask this question your probably in the wrong place looking for love
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| 2/25/2013 10:41:52 PM |
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tjl503
Portland, OR
37, joined Dec. 2012
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Do whatever you feel is comfortable. Just because he's inviting you over doesn't mean he's just looking for sex. I would ask someone over to my house on the third date and it would have nothing to do with trying to get laid. I wouldn't waste my time going on a third one if I wasn't interested in more than that. You control the brakes, if he gets too fresh put him in his place.
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| 2/26/2013 4:01:34 PM |
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abrisbane
Denver, CO
43, joined Jan. 2013
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This online dating kind of throws a kink into dating because usually before you even exchange numbers you message a lot of info about yourselves and then you talk or text even more info then you meet up and it feels like you know them yet it's the first time you've actually met so by the 3rd date you are way ahead of the normal old way of dating I wish you luck and hope you feel comfortable enough to follow your own heart because you have to live with what you decide. 
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| 2/26/2013 4:13:25 PM |
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itcantbeme
Wausau, WI
68, joined Aug. 2011
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Is this all guys?
Maybe I'm missing something because, I'm not like this.
I'm not an automaton who schedules sex for a certain time and etc.
If it's right for both oof us, ok.
If it's not, then it ain't gonna happen.
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| 2/26/2013 4:16:07 PM |
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itcantbeme
Wausau, WI
68, joined Aug. 2011
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He just said he wants to watch a dvd.So you think I should ask him if he wanted to have sex? Lol
If you ask him that, he might think that's what you want.
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| 2/26/2013 9:49:14 PM |
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gobowl
Denver, CO
48, joined Jan. 2013
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It depends on how the first two dates went. If u felt an attraction and ur liking whats happening with u two, I think u should just relax and let things happen naturally on their own. By the end of that third date u'll both know where u stand and how the 4th date will go to be sure.
Rob
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| 2/26/2013 10:58:47 PM |
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smooches84
San Diego, CA
32, joined Jan. 2013
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Yeah I noticed that too...even a 2nd date
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| 2/26/2013 10:59:50 PM |
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stobil
Gallatin, TN
37, joined Nov. 2009
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Third date you build a fire and sacrifice a goat.
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| 2/26/2013 11:04:00 PM |
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struckbylightn
Oelwein, IA
60, joined Oct. 2009
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My only rule: There are no rules. I've met women who by the third date, I'd say yes to something like that. And I've met women I would not have asked. Each person is different and each two people together certainly are.
That's right. No rules! Anarchy reigns! 
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| 2/26/2013 11:09:43 PM |
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sofetch12
Willingboro, NJ
29, joined Nov. 2012
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OP it seems as though you are apprehensive about being at his place and at the thought of him trying to make moves while watching a movie. I would suggest if you are uncomfortable about the possiblity of this happening and about talking to him in regards to his intentions, try planning something else for the 3rd date. Keep it public if you need to, nothing wrong with that, and if he is interested in you (and not just the sex) he will be willing to do another date option of your choice. Be proactive about what you want (and don't want) and don't put yourself in some situations until you are fully ready.
Best of Luck
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| 2/27/2013 12:03:16 AM |
Third Date,how do you feel if he invites you to come over to his place | Page 2 |
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stautresolve
Chula Vista, CA
32, joined Sep. 2012
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Who cares?
Go over and watch a movie if you are comfortable.
Cuddle during the movie if you are comfortable.
Have sex if you are comfortable.
Let's be clear: he can't 'trick' you into sex. Even if he gives you drinks...he can't get you DRUNK. You've actually got to CONSUME the drinks.
A lot women have a horrible habit of relinquishing responsibility for their actions JUST so they don't appear horny or promiscuous. I hate to tell you this...but if you can't see yourself jumping this guys bones when you look at him: you are off to a bad start. Physical attraction CAN build over time, but so can many things that you'd just prefer to purchase 'ready-made'.
You are both adults. My advice: act like it.
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| 2/27/2013 10:01:33 AM |
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desigal2012
Los Angeles, CA
50, joined Dec. 2012
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@watchman76- It's okay I don't mind this thread going on longer I'm reading all the comments and digesting them 
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| 2/27/2013 2:08:44 PM |
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macdan1
Gillette, WY
47, joined Feb. 2013
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Who cares when you go over to his house, you are 46. If there is no chemistery you will know it the first date. If you want to have sex have sex thats the nice thing about being our age we all know what we are looking for. the games that we played in the twenties should be over,If you like him you like him why worry about it. To me some women just want to date and go to dinners and maybe kiss then move on to the next guy. I always know by the first date if I like a person and you do to. So if you are not feeling it by the third date you should tell him, because he may like you and thinks you do to but you really don't thats just as bad as a guy sleeping with you and not calling you the next day. You are leading him on if you don't feel the chemistery, there are no rules on sex if you do it on the first date or tenth. 
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| 2/27/2013 2:09:49 PM |
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cococharms1976
Intercourse, PA
41, joined May. 2012
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| 2/27/2013 2:29:14 PM |
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rdeffley
San Jose, CA
36, joined Sep. 2009
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Well if you are uncomfortable you could always treat him to a movie out. In conversation bring up how you remembered how he likes a certain genre and then say you want to return the favor for him showing you such a good time. That way you are still watching a movie, you are treating him, and you are in public.
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