| 3/29/2013 11:36:09 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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medd81608
Pascoag, RI
31, joined Dec. 2011
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I was 'dating' a girl for about 3 weeks, or so i thought. We called each other baby, kissed, held hands, etc., until one day she says she is going on a date with some guy. She told me that since i hadn't formally asked her out she didn't know how i felt even though we were doing what I said earlier. So my question is, do you need to formally ask someone out or does the relationship just form over time?
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| 3/29/2013 11:36:54 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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sofetch12
Willingboro, NJ
30, joined Nov. 2012
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 I guess apparently so in your situation...
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| 3/29/2013 11:38:29 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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hollywoodstar13
Colona, IL
36, joined Aug. 2011
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i like it when they ask me to be their girlfriend. may be kinda childish, but that's just me.
but if i was with someone all the time and we did the things you described i would kind of assume that we were together. as long as he called when he said he would, didn't cancel plans, wasn't talking to any other chicks, etc
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| 3/29/2013 11:39:15 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009
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Evidently, she needed the exclusivity talk in order to be sure.
Though, I have to ask. When you were holding hands, kissing, and calling her baby, did you ever do that out in public, say at a restaurant or at a movie theater?
[Edited 3/29/2013 11:39:37 PM ]
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| 3/29/2013 11:39:55 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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kismetkick
Kennebunkport, ME
41, joined Feb. 2013
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I guess, unspoken rules lead to unspoken territories. Then again, even spoken rules get broken. Atleast she was honest about it.
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| 3/29/2013 11:40:10 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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heatherruss
Wharton, NJ
41, joined Jan. 2013
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Its nice to know what the hell is going on. I was just in a 5 month situation like that and I am still confused.
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| 3/29/2013 11:44:44 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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mikeyibe
Knoxville, TN
52, joined Feb. 2013
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Yeah or the cops show up when you go to pick her up....
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| 3/29/2013 11:45:11 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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pickygirl72
Picher, OK
46, joined Sep. 2011
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No. She's just treating you like a buddy and she's not into you. If I had that kind of affection with someone I'd definitely think we were bf and gf at that point.
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| 3/29/2013 11:45:33 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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daisy_j84
Bemidji, MN
33, joined Dec. 2012
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Personally I think it's better to have the conversation and know you are on the same page than to assume.
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| 3/29/2013 11:46:40 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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2wheelpilot
Beatty, NV
49, joined Oct. 2010
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i don't remember having a problem with this.
sounds like a trap, beware.
-chip
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| 3/29/2013 11:50:02 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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txrose64
Pearland, TX
53, joined Jan. 2013
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who knows!!
ask her?
at y'alls age, it could
*because she met someone she liked better
*yeah! ask the girl out! what the hell, damn!
*she got tired of games be a man and make that move already damn it!!
just my opinion!!
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| 3/29/2013 11:51:14 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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sofetch12
Willingboro, NJ
30, joined Nov. 2012
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Personally I think it's better to have the conversation and know you are on the same page than to assume.
 Agreeing daisy_j84!! Don't ever assume OP.
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| 3/29/2013 11:52:51 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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saltlg13
Elmwood Park, IL
49, joined Jan. 2013
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I was 'dating' a girl for about 3 weeks, or so i thought. We called each other baby, kissed, held hands, etc., until one day she says she is going on a date with some guy. She told me that since i hadn't formally asked her out she didn't know how i felt even though we were doing what I said earlier. So my question is, do you need to formally ask someone out or does the relationship just form over time?
In my old times there was no need of any formality since you kissed and hold hands . . Those times are different ,I guess if you want a relationship with her ,well you better discuss that , negotiate, make an legalized agreement, bla bla bla , all that staff .
But seams like she didn't make that special connection as you ,since she went ahead chatting with another guy and decided to go on a date with him .
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| 3/29/2013 11:54:05 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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e_llicit
Rancho Cucamonga, CA
45, joined Apr. 2012
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I was 'dating' a girl for about 3 weeks, or so i thought. We called each other baby, kissed, held hands, etc., until one day she says she is going on a date with some guy. She told me that since i hadn't formally asked her out she didn't know how i felt even though we were doing what I said earlier. So my question is, do you need to formally ask someone out or does the relationship just form over time?
lol are you kidding?
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| 3/29/2013 11:56:25 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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brookiieey
Tucson, AZ
29, joined Feb. 2013
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Agreeing daisy_j84!! Don't ever assume OP.
Agreed. You thinking one thing and the other person thinking another is no good. It's just flirting etc doesn't mean it's official yet.
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| 3/29/2013 11:57:45 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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daisy_j84
Bemidji, MN
33, joined Dec. 2012
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USB, I'll leave the light on...
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| 3/29/2013 11:57:48 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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ohdannyboy59
Arlington, TX
98, joined Sep. 2012
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You better call in Henry Kissinger, OP.
Seriously, you need to be up front with her ~ or anybody. If you want to explore a relationship with her and see where it might go, tell her. You can't expect someone to read your mind.
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| 3/30/2013 12:00:59 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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mistymay77
Newnan, GA
40, joined Dec. 2007
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I would definitely want to have a talk because I don't commit easily. I wouldn't want someone to assume we're in a relationship. I never do and assume I am free to do what I want. But I am always open and honest about it.
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| 3/30/2013 12:03:38 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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kismetkick
Kennebunkport, ME
41, joined Feb. 2013
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Why didn't you just ask her out in the beginning, OP? Was it cause you two were friends first and then things started to change in your mind to something more serious, but not in hers?
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| 3/30/2013 12:13:39 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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ichellebereel
Chicago, IL
55, joined Mar. 2011
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I do not like to assume anything. I'm not going to to take it for granted you want to see me again if you do not call, text or email me to let me know. I am not going to assume we are in a relationship if you have not formally asked me.
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| 3/30/2013 1:55:02 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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wgk1963
Denver, CO
54, joined Aug. 2012
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What's asking someone out "formally" mean? ... and how does one ask "informally?"
Nevertheless, regardless of how you "ask someone out" , THAT doesn't mean exclusivity.
Oh, and your girl just made that BS up. She knew the deal , but she wanted to see if this other guy would be better.
In her defense, it's fine for her to see other people... (she didn't have to tell you that garbage though). Kissing, holding hands, even sex does not automatically mean you're in a committed relationship. That's a mutual understanding/agreement... which evidently you two did not have.
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| 3/30/2013 3:25:38 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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sambackwards
Wardensville, WV
50, joined Mar. 2013
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What's asking someone out "formally" mean? ... and how does one ask "informally?"
Nevertheless, regardless of how you "ask someone out" , THAT doesn't mean exclusivity.
Oh, and your girl just made that BS up. She knew the deal , but she wanted to see if this other guy would be better.
In her defense, it's fine for her to see other people... (she didn't have to tell you that garbage though). Kissing, holding hands, even sex does not automatically mean you're in a committed relationship. That's a mutual understanding/agreement... which evidently you two did not have.
Couldn't of said it better.
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| 3/30/2013 5:20:14 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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megpies
San Antonio, TX
39, joined Jan. 2012
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I do not like to assume anything. I'm not going to to take it for granted you want to see me again if you do not call, text or email me to let me know. I am not going to assume we are in a relationship if you have not formally asked me.
This. Except, if we have gone on a date and it went well but you don't call or text or communicate with me within the next day and give me positive feedback I will assume you've written me off and I'll continue to look for new dates. Simple as that. Show interest or be dismissed.
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| 3/30/2013 5:24:47 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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maciscool
Salem, NH
47, joined Aug. 2012
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Dating is just dating. Mutual decision to be in a relationship should be discussed.
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| 3/30/2013 5:41:57 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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th6231
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
70, joined Jul. 2007
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This is a big lesson in life. ONE THING--she is NOT owned by you--she CAN got out with others. Your junior high school hand holding and smooching--is NOT a certificate of ownership. You are one step above--A FRIEND. SO move on to another girl--and speak up if you wanna date her. Work on your personal interaction skills--BEFORE you find another girl. Millions of young men have a lot to learn about DATING. WE all made these boo boos. GOOD LUCK.!!
[Edited 3/30/2013 5:43:06 AM ]
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| 3/30/2013 5:49:31 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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heatherruss
Wharton, NJ
41, joined Jan. 2013
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so I saw this guy at the grocery store every time I went in for a whole two months. I thought we had something special in the frozen food isle. then he showed up with his boy friend one day. I should have had the talk.
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| 3/30/2013 5:52:38 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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l0stspirit84
Leavenworth, KS
33, joined Oct. 2012
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so I saw this guy at the grocery store every time I went in for a whole two months. I thought we had something special in the frozen food isle. then he showed up with his boy friend one day. I should have had the talk.
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| 3/30/2013 5:54:59 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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th6231
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
70, joined Jul. 2007
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so I saw this guy at the grocery store every time I went in for a whole two months. I thought we had something special in the frozen food isle. then he showed up with his boy friend one day. I should have had the talk. 
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| 3/30/2013 5:58:59 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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l0stspirit84
Leavenworth, KS
33, joined Oct. 2012
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They was too busy in the baking isle giggling saying "I'm so going to pack your fudge"
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| 3/30/2013 5:59:00 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011
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Dude, don't be so gullible.
You were already dating, no need for formalities after that.
She just dumped you for something better in her mind.
She probably just wanted to get laid and you weren't quick enough on the draw.
Be glad your rid of her.
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| 3/30/2013 6:02:59 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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th6231
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
70, joined Jul. 2007
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don't forget the Hershey kissesssssss--woo woo
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| 3/30/2013 6:05:31 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011
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Evidently, she needed the exclusivity talk in order to be sure.
Though, I have to ask. When you were holding hands, kissing, and calling her baby, did you ever do that out in public, say at a restaurant or at a movie theater?
Reading his words, they were already dating.
She didn't say anything about exclusivity....simply he never formally asked her out...and that refers to dating, not a relationship.
And if they were already dating, someone had to ask to go out.
Sorry, not buying it....whatever the deal was, she wanted to move on....obviously talking to other men, while she was dating him, holding hands and calling him baby.
And made up this flimsey excuse.
Come on, if a woman posted this, everyone would be calling the guy a fake, a player and how he used her.
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| 3/30/2013 8:37:18 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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ohdannyboy59
Arlington, TX
98, joined Sep. 2012
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so I saw this guy at the grocery store every time I went in for a whole two months. I thought we had something special in the frozen food isle. then he showed up with his boy friend one day. I should have had the talk.
There is some cold, hard truth there.
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| 3/30/2013 8:42:28 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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forsalecheep
Hollywood, FL
53, joined Jul. 2012
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After 3weeks she just choose to move on . You were not the one.. Get over it!
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| 3/30/2013 10:10:26 AM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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ambitiouswoman3
Albany, NY
28, joined Nov. 2012
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so I saw this guy at the grocery store every time I went in for a whole two months. I thought we had something special in the frozen food isle. then he showed up with his boy friend one day. I should have had the talk.
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| 3/30/2013 12:26:33 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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kclady41
Kansas City, MO
48, joined Jun. 2011
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I was 'dating' a girl for about 3 weeks, or so i thought. We called each other baby, kissed, held hands, etc., until one day she says she is going on a date with some guy. She told me that since i hadn't formally asked her out she didn't know how i felt even though we were doing what I said earlier. So my question is, do you need to formally ask someone out or does the relationship just form over time?
yes you do. A woman wants to be taken out on DATES or you are in the friend zone
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| 3/30/2013 12:40:05 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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jonathanp177
Houston, TX
27, joined Jan. 2013
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I was 'dating' a girl for about 3 weeks, or so i thought. We called each other baby, kissed, held hands, etc., until one day she says she is going on a date with some guy. She told me that since i hadn't formally asked her out she didn't know how i felt even though we were doing what I said earlier. So my question is, do you need to formally ask someone out or does the relationship just form over time?
Sorry that happened to you. But, YES once you've both established a good connection, YOU need to ask will you be my girlfriend. That way, you are both clear to where you stand at in your relationship.
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| 3/30/2013 12:51:13 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
58, joined May. 2009
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Reading his words, they were already dating.
She didn't say anything about exclusivity....simply he never formally asked her out...and that refers to dating, not a relationship.
And if they were already dating, someone had to ask to go out.
Sorry, not buying it....whatever the deal was, she wanted to move on....obviously talking to other men, while she was dating him, holding hands and calling him baby.
And made up this flimsey excuse.
Come on, if a woman posted this, everyone would be calling the guy a fake, a player and how he used her.
I read his words differently, which is why I asked if they'd ever actually gone anywhere, or just sat at each other's houses and watched movies or something.
It seems that a lot of people in his generation don't actually go out on dates, and consider sitting on a couch a date. I can see why it would lead to confusion as to what the nature of the relationship actually is.
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| 3/30/2013 12:52:02 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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and111111111111
Camden, AR
46, joined Mar. 2013
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You asking a hard question! But simply put, if she is feeling you. She wont date another dude, unless you push her away.
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| 3/30/2013 9:54:06 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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originalme1031
Madison, OH
54, joined Mar. 2013
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You definitely need to ask her out and tell her exactly how you feel about her. Women can't read mind nor can men. Why can't men/women be open with one another. It doesn't do any good if its kept inside.
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| 3/30/2013 9:57:28 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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aladytoo
Monroe, WI
61, joined Apr. 2006
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Communication always works.Ask if your unsure.
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| 3/30/2013 10:00:13 PM |
Do you have to formally ask someone out? |
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cococharms76
Macon, GA
41, joined Mar. 2013
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You have to get on one knee ask for my hand in giving you a hand
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