| 4/13/2014 2:59:19 PM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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rkelly728
Syracuse, NY
26, joined Jan. 2012
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Ive been used to just dating someone, and just jumping into a relationship without even knowing someone that well (normally after a few weeks), and I find that the chemistry runs out after a year. And that is rough. I have decided to (though Im on online dating sites), be upfront with women and tell them I want to take things slow, start off as friends, and gradually work into a relationship and see what comes of it. Right now, I am happy that I have female friends to hangout with, and ready to see if anything comes out of it. Do you think its ok to start off as friends, when meeting someone online before starting a relationship? Or do most women want to just jump into a relationship?
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| 4/13/2014 3:03:05 PM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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cheatk
Urbandale, IA
48, joined Jun. 2013
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Op With you being so young still, being friends would be the smart thing to do, hope your getting an education while working in a restaurant.
But....dating sites is not all that great to try and start a friendship with.
Just my opinion.
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| 4/13/2014 5:27:48 PM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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iheartidiots
Grove City, OH
39, joined Feb. 2012
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I wish more men were like you. I actually prefer your way.
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| 4/13/2014 7:17:13 PM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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shane0012009
Lake Waccamaw, NC
49, joined May. 2010
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dating
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| 4/13/2014 8:22:25 PM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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1firefighter2
Saltillo, MS
39, joined Jan. 2014
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I think it's best to be friends first. At least that way you get to know about them and the pressure of impressing someone on the first date isn't there and you will find out if there is any thing there or not with out hurting her or yourself. Not to mention you will have made a good new friend even if things don't go to a relationship. It actually gives you the perfect chance to just be your self and not the kind that is trying to impress like on a date. That's how true relationships are created. The best relationship comes from the one were you were best friends before you took that extra step. Relationships are built not given.
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| 4/13/2014 8:23:25 PM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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livinfree1o1
Long Island City, NY
36, joined Nov. 2012
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Ive been used to just dating someone, and just jumping into a relationship without even knowing someone that well (normally after a few weeks), and I find that the chemistry runs out after a year. And that is rough. I have decided to (though Im on online dating sites), be upfront with women and tell them I want to take things slow, start off as friends, and gradually work into a relationship and see what comes of it. Right now, I am happy that I have female friends to hangout with, and ready to see if anything comes out of it. Do you think its ok to start off as friends, when meeting someone online before starting a relationship? Or do most women want to just jump into a relationship?
all my ex's were relationships right off the bat.
but i think after a few long term relationships, we learn of what we really like n dislike and what we want.
after you gain relationship experience, i think it's better to start off as friends.
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| 4/13/2014 9:18:08 PM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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gamerman17
New York, NY
29, joined Apr. 2010
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Ive been used to just dating someone, and just jumping into a relationship without even knowing someone that well (normally after a few weeks), and I find that the chemistry runs out after a year. And that is rough. I have decided to (though Im on online dating sites), be upfront with women and tell them I want to take things slow, start off as friends, and gradually work into a relationship and see what comes of it. Right now, I am happy that I have female friends to hangout with, and ready to see if anything comes out of it. Do you think its ok to start off as friends, when meeting someone online before starting a relationship? Or do most women want to just jump into a relationship?
Depends on the situation at hand, as in everyone's different. You have to take into consideration what is going on within their lives, how comfortable they are with being around a possible significant other, and most important in my opinion the chemistry built up between the two. Starting off as friends to see where things can go is always a good idea just to play it safe, but it can give a woman who's looking for something significant right way a possible false impression that he's not possibly ready for commitment when that possibly isn't the case at all. Your approach is admirable and quite frankly i'm the same way, but certain women I use this approach on sometimes misconstrue this as me being overly cautious rather than try to try to follow my heart and see where it leads......gamer
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| 4/13/2014 10:50:28 PM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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ohdannyboy59
Arlington, TX
97, joined Sep. 2012
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Nobody starts out in a long-term relationship. You can decide, however, to focus on that one person after a while and see where things go. Some might call that "being in a relationship" but as long as you both agree, it doesn't much matter.
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| 4/14/2014 12:25:57 AM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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nat_now
Ocala, FL
58, joined Jul. 2013
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How you started off didn't dictate how or why it ended.
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| 4/14/2014 1:01:47 AM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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saddestangel7
Santa Clara, CA
55, joined Apr. 2011
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Problem with that friends first logic is that men tend to want sex to be part of the friendship. Now you are FWB...no dating exclusively, no commitment just putting out to someone who wants to see where things go. Ladies don't fall for this load of crap.
You can date and still take things slowly. If you're meant to be a close friendship will develop along the way as well. Just stop jumping into bed. It's just doing things backwards. You can have intimacy without getting naked.
This has been a Public Service Announcement from Miss Debbie Downer. 
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| 4/14/2014 1:30:54 AM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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hbguy311
Huntington Beach, CA
36, joined Aug. 2010
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Then you get friendzoned. That defeats the whole purpose.
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| 4/14/2014 1:36:23 AM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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sum12see
Alhambra, CA
33, joined May. 2013
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Dating... Friends stay in the friend zone and do not level up. EVER!!!
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| 4/14/2014 1:42:59 AM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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hbguy311
Huntington Beach, CA
36, joined Aug. 2010
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^^I'm sure winning lottery would.
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| 4/14/2014 6:24:53 AM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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1firefighter2
Saltillo, MS
39, joined Jan. 2014
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Problem with that friends first logic is that men tend to want sex to be part of the friendship. Now you are FWB...no dating exclusively, no commitment just putting out to someone who wants to see where things go. Ladies don't fall for this load of crap.
You can date and still take things slowly. If you're meant to be a close friendship will develop along the way as well. Just stop jumping into bed. It's just doing things backwards. You can have intimacy without getting naked.
This has been a Public Service Announcement from Miss Debbie Downer.
I disagree not all men are the same way. You can't say men want FWB. I for one don't. I only make love to the one I fall in love with.
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| 4/14/2014 8:19:17 AM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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indianadave1951
Mishawaka, IN
66, joined Dec. 2010
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Most women will state they want to be Friends First. However if after the first date you haven't made some sort of romantic overture (hold her hand, kiss her, put your arm around her) they loose interest and mentally begin to move on. When younger I remember women never had this friends first idea. It's developed because some men try to push sex to quickly.
For several years after my divorce I tried the Friends First thing and I soon learned if the man doesn't display some amount of romance and affection women start looking elsewhere by the third date. Usually on the first date you can tell if there is any kind of emotional connection between you. If there is then begin to display signs of affection on the second and third dates. I'm not saying press her to spend the night with you but women don't want to waste time with a man if things aren't going anywhere.
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| 4/14/2014 10:54:21 AM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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naturebiy
Bangkok
Thailand
41, joined Jul. 2011
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When I was younger I wanted nothing to do with this concept at all... and didnt..
Start getting older.. it is the best way to do stuff... if you are single... and not exclusive... than you can be friends with multiples!
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| 4/14/2014 1:17:54 PM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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wd888
Ponchatoula, LA
36, joined Mar. 2014
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Then you get friendzoned. That defeats the whole purpose.
This.
We're supposed to have friends anyway, but "friendzone" is the worst place you can be. You fall in love, and she won't know you exist, because she's looking at the next guy over.
You're better off telling her how you feel early and often, so that doesn't happen.
Been there, and done that. I had a "friendzone" incident when I was about the OP's age which completely ruined an entire circle of friends. Then you end up in a 3rd/5th wheel situation, and you're like, "what the hell, I have to get out of here."
It's a pretty screwed up situation to be in, and it only gets worse the longer it goes on.
If she ever asks you for a hug BEFORE you've told her what you really feel, then you have probably already entered the "friend zone" and she thinks of you as a buddy, or a step-brother type, instead of a potential date, and now you're screwed apparently.
So ask for the date relatively early, and if she says "no" you can still be friends, but you'll both be on the same page, but now neither of you are over-invested in one another.
Also, I don't want FWB. I want wife with benefits. lol.
[Edited 4/14/2014 1:19:50 PM ]
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| 4/14/2014 1:20:40 PM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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sweetnika2408
Las Vegas, NV
26, joined Oct. 2012
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Frankly I don't date my friends so this would never work me but I can understand why it would for others. I like to date and hopefully build a relationship from that but I definitely don't rush the latter.
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| 4/14/2014 8:00:50 PM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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naturebiy
Bangkok
Thailand
41, joined Jul. 2011
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Then you get friendzoned. That defeats the whole purpose.
There is only 2 places a person can go and that is join the team... or addios...
Friendzone is just a state of mind at the moment.... IMO
Just because someone wants to do you... does not mean they want to be with you...
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| 4/14/2014 8:03:32 PM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
65, joined Oct. 2009
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Oh just start dating and get the breakup over with!
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| 4/14/2014 8:10:46 PM |
Start slow and hangout as friends, or just start "dating"? |
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chele1234
Toledo, OH
39, joined Mar. 2014
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Ive been used to just dating someone, and just jumping into a relationship without even knowing someone that well (normally after a few weeks), and I find that the chemistry runs out after a year. And that is rough. I have decided to (though Im on online dating sites), be upfront with women and tell them I want to take things slow, start off as friends, and gradually work into a relationship and see what comes of it. Right now, I am happy that I have female friends to hangout with, and ready to see if anything comes out of it. Do you think its ok to start off as friends, when meeting someone online before starting a relationship? Or do most women want to just jump into a relationship?
If I spend my time with one person then yes I wanna need dating but you have to work on your relationship just like it's your job or yes it does get boring
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