2/11/2015 10:00:55 PM |
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whydo
Hartford, CT
38, joined Oct. 2013
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I really had high hopes for this guy so much I could cry. We been corresponding but it seems he gets back to me whenever he feels. While I'm on edge only able to think about him . I ask him for a day we can meet...since things just kept coming up like snow etc. I feel kinda hurt because he couldn't even respond on his hour long lunch break. After I went off...he said he'd check his schedule. Now it's eleven at night and I know he got out of work. I guess taking two minutes to tell me a day was too much out of his busy and important schedule. When I am just wanting and hoping to hear from him. Unfortunately letting things slip that I need to prioritize. I feel so sad and disappointed.
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2/11/2015 10:01:59 PM |
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nothingneeded
Johnston, IA
46, joined Sep. 2014
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1st
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2/11/2015 10:04:16 PM |
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hatesthesun
Biddeford, ME
29, joined Sep. 2014
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Play hard to get if he don't make it a point to meet he ain't worth your time
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2/11/2015 10:10:11 PM |
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nothingneeded
Johnston, IA
46, joined Sep. 2014
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Someone needs to get off they're azzz, love self, find a job, and stop worrying about someone they never met
It's not playing hard to get...it's doing your life.
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2/11/2015 10:10:19 PM |
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pickygirl72
Phelan, CA
44, joined Sep. 2011
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This is peoples problem they get attached with someone online and think this person is "the one". STOP IT!
See OP you think this guy is great but you really DO NOT KNOW him. Gee he is making excuses that he can't meet you and he only calls when he wants to. I'd say he is playing you and playing you hard. I suggest you move on and heal your broken heart.
Next time meet a local guy and hang out with him in person before you start falling for him.
Good luck
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2/11/2015 10:11:28 PM |
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iceheart86
Florence, OR
28, joined Jan. 2015
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You seem clingy. Let him breathe.
On the another hand, I don't think he's interested.
[Edited 2/11/2015 10:12:36 PM ]
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2/11/2015 10:19:59 PM |
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ymia_dikhed
Gresham, OR
41, joined Dec. 2011
online now!
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Cheer op
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2/11/2015 10:23:28 PM |
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boyinneed
Miami, FL
50, joined Aug. 2011
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You type a lot...
Is this serious...
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2/11/2015 10:25:27 PM |
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wnts2byrs
Conway, AR
42, joined Oct. 2014
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Move on
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2/11/2015 11:12:25 PM |
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dixie_dancer
Kansas City, KS
26, joined Feb. 2013
online now!
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You haven't even met him and your whole world revolves around him responding?
Heck. I got done with work and didn't even text my boyfriend back for nearly 45 minutes, until I realized I haven't responded in three hours.
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2/11/2015 11:15:55 PM |
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bigdinv
Houston, TX
83, joined Sep. 2011
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Maybe he's taking a really long poop.
I mean the time it takes to poop. Not the actual poop.
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2/11/2015 11:44:15 PM |
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amusicluvr
Salem, OR
62, joined Nov. 2013
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Op - Take the hint...he is not right for you. Forget him, and find someone else who is more considerate, and more involved with just you...rather than you and half a dozen others.
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2/12/2015 12:43:17 AM |
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dr_i_got_answer
Gwynn Oak, MD
48, joined Jun. 2014
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I truly believe you're exactly where you wanna be with this guy, that you're happy with how things are going.
I'm sure you've, like many other women on here, had some really decent men approach you and got shot down. How many msgs did you delete and never even bothered to read them? How many did you read and didn't bother to respond?
I see woman on here crhing about how hard it is to find a good man. But yall always put 150% into some guy who even give a fu€k enough to return a call. And the more he shit on you the more you want him. You gotta be happy with what you got.
Congrats!
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2/12/2015 12:50:11 AM |
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dr_i_got_answer
Gwynn Oak, MD
48, joined Jun. 2014
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How can her heart be broken over a dude she never met? Really? Now I'm NOT being mean but how juvenile is that?
Now do you understand why in other cultures why marraiges are arranged? Bcuz when you hear stories like this how can you truly say women knows whats best for themselves?
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2/12/2015 1:07:04 AM |
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lilod
Rochelle, IL
48, joined Aug. 2012
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I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad, but it kind of sounds like you're the one with the problem. Almost 40 years old and letting real life priorities slide while you wait by the phone for a guy you haven't even met? Does that honestly sound healthy to you? Maybe it would be a good idea to step back and look at some larger issues rather than pinning all of your hopes on this near stranger.
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2/12/2015 1:46:44 AM |
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whydo
Hartford, CT
38, joined Oct. 2013
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I truly believe you're exactly where you wanna be with this guy, that you're happy with how things are going.
I'm sure you've, like many other women on here, had some really decent men approach you and got shot down. How many msgs did you delete and never even bothered to read them? How many did you read and didn't bother to respond?
I see woman on here crhing about how hard it is to find a good man. But yall always put 150% into some guy who even give a fu€k enough to return a call. And the more he shit on you the more you want him. You gotta be happy with what you got.
Congrats! the more he ignored me the more I wanted him. But he was also the most intelligent with the most in common and closest my age with no kids...No baggage. All the things I look for in someone. Someone I thought I could really love.
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2/12/2015 1:55:07 AM |
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whydo
Hartford, CT
38, joined Oct. 2013
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Yep...I need to get back on track with my school work here. Etc. It sucks to be me. To finally go after someone only to be consistently ignored. Clingy? I dunno. I could easily lay off as long as someone is understanding and doesn't go out of their way to avoid me. Left hanging constantly at the peak of possibility...that all want and hope for. A little is a turn on. But too much is too much. Playing me? What does that mean? Like he never wanted to date anyone from the beginning? Or just likes to make and watch someone squirm? He was so intelligent and creative in all the right ways.... Oh well.
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2/12/2015 1:55:56 AM |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
59, joined Apr. 2011
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I've read a few of your threads, and they sound more like from a rookie, than someone who's been here a while, and you do sound on the needy side.
I think your getting your hopes up too high, and wishing and a hoping, and maybe you come on too much, and sometimes that scares people off or to back off.
maybe I'm assuming too much, but just going by some threads I've read.
I'd say back off and see what that does. But the bottom line is, your more interested than he is and you may be two different kinds of people, if that's the case, it wouldn't have worked out anyway.
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2/12/2015 2:02:08 AM |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
59, joined Apr. 2011
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the more he ignored me the more I wanted him. But he was also the most intelligent with the most in common and closest my age with no kids...No baggage. All the things I look for in someone. Someone I thought I could really love.
This is something I don't understand. I've read about women and their wish list....now this.
To my way of thinking, you can't will yourself to love someone, its just something that either happens or it doesn't...if its real love.
But it might explain how some women can turn off love like a light switch....the image they built of the guy, thinking he filled the wish list is blown, because he was just human and not some image....and it couldn't have been real love.
Seeing evidence of this in reading here or whatever, doesn't give a guy much confidence when he hears the love word.
I've never heard a man say she hits my wish list, thus I can love her, men either fall or they don't and it just happens.
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2/12/2015 5:14:15 AM |
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grneyesrme
Sacramento, CA
47, joined Aug. 2013
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Don't get invested with anyone you haven't met in person & even then proceed with caution until you know who they really are by their actions & not words.
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2/12/2015 6:06:23 AM |
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stringopearls
Huron, SD
57, joined Jul. 2009
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the more he ignored me the more I wanted him. But he was also the most intelligent with the most in common and closest my age with no kids...No baggage. All the things I look for in someone. Someone I thought I could really love.
This quote sounds like someone who is not ready for a real-life relationship. Please look up ways to address abandonment issues. Also, I do not believe anyone has no baggage even if he/she has no kids.
Your post sounds like you have convinced yourself that a perfect mortal exists someplace other than in your mind.
Your dismay regarding his actions even BEFORE you meet should show you he is not a person for you.
Blowing up at someone to get attention is not a healthy way to start a relationship.
The guy might be more busy than you can accept; he might want to go slowly; he might just not like being pushed into making contacts; he might like you running after him without a thought of your distress; he might not want a relationship with you and doesn't want to hurt your feelings directly; or he knows your are in distress and gets pleasure from your pain. Regardless of why he acts the way he does, you are only in control of your own actions. You can either continue to be upset or not allow his actions to bother you.
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2/12/2015 7:00:05 AM |
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idliketotalk
Punxsutawney, PA
52, joined Oct. 2013
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Maybe he's just keeping you on the back burner for after he's run out of options.
Or he might be lying in a ditch someplace.
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2/12/2015 8:11:21 AM |
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dr_i_got_answer
Gwynn Oak, MD
48, joined Jun. 2014
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the more he ignored me the more I wanted him.
Ooohhhh so thats how it works huh? When a guy ignores you and treat you like you don't exist you want him oh so badly.
So any man (a good man) who has a genuin interest in you, thinks you're attractive in fact beautiful GETS IGNORED BY YOU and treated like he doesn't exist?
Is that how it works?
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2/12/2015 8:27:23 AM |
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dr_i_got_answer
Gwynn Oak, MD
48, joined Jun. 2014
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Everytime I see a post like this I'm reminded of how so many women make threads about how good men are hard to find or where are they at.
Good men get looked over for guys like this.
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2/12/2015 8:29:57 AM |
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sea_
Kent, WA
62, joined Oct. 2013
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Op - Take the hint...he is not right for you. Forget him, and find someone else who is more considerate, and more involved with just you...rather than you and half a dozen others.
This
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2/12/2015 8:53:49 AM |
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dingobarramacus
Hatfield, MA
43, joined Nov. 2013
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I know how you feel. You have my complete sympathy. Loneliness can be overpowering and really mess with your perspective. I'm here for you...
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2/12/2015 8:55:51 AM |
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whydo
Hartford, CT
38, joined Oct. 2013
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Maybe he's just keeping you on the back burner for after he's run out of options.
Or he might be lying in a ditch someplace.
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2/12/2015 9:05:34 AM |
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whydo
Hartford, CT
38, joined Oct. 2013
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Ooohhhh so thats how it works huh? When a guy ignores you and treat you like you don't exist you want him oh so badly.
So any man (a good man) who has a genuin interest in you, thinks you're attractive in fact beautiful GETS IGNORED BY YOU and treated like he doesn't exist?
Is that how it works? somewhat true but not entirely or I wouldn't be disappointed. I just don't want someone at my beck and call. It's a turn off. Those who won't leave me alone is a turn off. Those who have a life, confidence, in command are a turn on....but some give and take is there. It's all in the chemistry. So? I'm entitled to want what I want. I got a few issued I'm hoping for compassion toward. So what? It's not like I have kids, am an ex drug addict...or schizophrenic and a who're. Not that any of these things are biweekly bad....but point is I'm the lesser of evils and these other types have compassionate caring men. Because everyone deserves love and everyone deserves their type.
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2/12/2015 9:24:08 AM |
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dasnixter
Jessieville, AR
55, joined Jul. 2010
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I can see your problem.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, reservations, blah, blah, blah, blah, expectations, blah, blah, blah, blah, drama, blah, blah, blah, blah clingy, blah, blah, blah why won't you listen/talk to/w/me blah, blah, blah...
Oy vey ist mir.
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2/12/2015 9:27:47 AM |
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cupocheer
Assumption, IL
66, joined May. 2010
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I majored in the arts.
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2/12/2015 9:47:59 AM |
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stringopearls
Huron, SD
57, joined Jul. 2009
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somewhat true but not entirely or I wouldn't be disappointed. I just don't want someone at my beck and call. It's a turn off. Those who won't leave me alone is a turn off. Those who have a life, confidence, in command are a turn on....but some give and take is there. It's all in the chemistry. So? ...
Because everyone deserves love and everyone deserves their type.
I agree with this statement only partially. Pedophiles do not deserve children, sadistic people do not deserve to torture others, etc.
However, I am guessing OP just wants a healthy relationship with someone she can admire. I know how that feels. However, I also know that hoping someone will act differently once they realize what a good person I am is an exercise in futility. Most people do not change unless as a result of a crisis.
I understand allowing hopes to affect day-to-day activities, but allowing yourself to be "sad and disappointed" by the actions of someone you have not met yet to the point of letting other things slip indicates professional help might be beneficial.
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2/12/2015 10:23:28 AM |
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pdforone
Litchfield, OH
63, joined Jul. 2010
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http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/22/magazine/the-science-and-history-of-treating-depression.html?pagewanted=all
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2/12/2015 10:34:54 AM |
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yetskimama
Walterboro, SC
64, joined Sep. 2011
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:
I can see your problem.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, reservations, blah, blah, blah, blah, expectations, blah, blah, blah, blah, drama, blah, blah, blah, blah clingy, blah, blah, blah why won't you listen/talk to/w/me blah, blah, blah...
Oy vey ist mir.
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2/12/2015 10:57:03 AM |
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whydo
Hartford, CT
38, joined Oct. 2013
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Ooohhhh so thats how it works huh? When a guy ignores you and treat you like you don't exist you want him oh so badly.
So any man (a good man) who has a genuin interest in you, thinks you're attractive in fact beautiful GETS IGNORED BY YOU and treated like he doesn't exist?
Is that how it works? kinda crazy huh?
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2/12/2015 11:14:05 AM |
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whydo
Hartford, CT
38, joined Oct. 2013
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Professional help only goes so far. People are never perfect. I'm not ready to jump a cliff or anything. Also I sincerely liked his background and responses were ideal. I do push People away though and get obsessed. Maybe it could be a number of things including simply liking my want of him. Ignoring my distress. Maybe I simply pushed him too far. I had never experienced this amount of broken communication and left hanging. It is unfortunately an emotional trigger. Sometimes it's truly truly hard to find the perfect balance despite the ideals. Guys act so perfect in the beginning while I am too honest... I guess a fantasy is a fantasy. I deserve attention.i guess I will have to give as best to myself for now........... Maybe I'll enroll in another class and put myself in a stronger position that is open to a real relationship instead of some romantic adventure. If I can stand the idea of such normalcy that is.
I agree with this statement only partially. Pedophiles do not deserve children, sadistic people do not deserve to torture others, etc.
However, I am guessing OP just wants a healthy relationship with someone she can admire. I know how that feels. However, I also know that hoping someone will act differently once they realize what a good person I am is an exercise in futility. Most people do not change unless as a result of a crisis.
I understand allowing hopes to affect day-to-day activities, but allowing yourself to be "sad and disappointed" by the actions of someone you have not met yet to the point of letting other things slip indicates professional help might be beneficial.
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2/12/2015 11:46:47 AM |
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ctr916v2
Roseville, CA
51, joined Nov. 2014
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<--- DH texting buddy available; no meeting unless you are local and don't have a problem using sex on me until i cry "auntie".
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2/12/2015 12:34:23 PM |
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mortara
Pittsburgh, PA
61, joined Feb. 2014
online now!
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Well snow does seem the big issue right now on meeting anyone.
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2/12/2015 12:35:49 PM |
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oppsiidazi
Orr, MN
45, joined Oct. 2014
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the more he ignored me the more I wanted him. But he was also the most intelligent with the most in common and closest my age with no kids...No baggage. All the things I look for in someone. Someone I thought I could really love.
...And how long did you say you knew this person? You could love him and
haven't met him, spent time with him, and from what you say- barely really
talked with him on the phone? LOVE, wow...
OP, maybe you gave off a "STALKER VIBE"?
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2/12/2015 2:00:23 PM |
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dr_i_got_answer
Gwynn Oak, MD
48, joined Jun. 2014
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Because everyone deserves love and everyone deserves their type.
Not if you sabotage your own efforts by being unrealistic! Thats like saying, "I adore those who wish me dead and wish death on those who love me" I'm sure that doesn't make any sense to you whatsoever.
I can understand the attraction to something you can't have. Its like when we were kids and told we couldn't see or listen to something, it only made us want it more. But thats thinking on a childs level.
Once you grow up and become an adult you're suppose to think more realistically than when you were 6yrs old.
Are you entitled to want... what you want? Sure! But you don't deserve real love if you keep shitting on it bcuz it wants you.
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2/12/2015 2:34:18 PM |
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dr_i_got_answer
Gwynn Oak, MD
48, joined Jun. 2014
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kinda crazy huh?
Kinda crazy? How about absolutely mentally retarded!
If I tried to date you I'd get shit on and rejected bcuz ANY pursuit on my part is considered TOO MUCH and A TURN OFF!
Now a man who shits on you and considers your pursuit of him TOO MUCH and passes you off, gets your undivided, total 100% attention.
And in all this UPSIDE DOWN, BACKWARD A** CHAOS and PSYCHOLOGICAL BEDLYM you want a "normal" loving relation?
SERIOUSLY!
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2/12/2015 2:53:55 PM |
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whydo
Hartford, CT
38, joined Oct. 2013
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2/12/2015 5:16:38 PM |
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dr_i_got_answer
Gwynn Oak, MD
48, joined Jun. 2014
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Ok lets try it this way. You want this man bcuz he don't want you. So if he ever gave you what you want..... which is his attention..... then you wouldn't want him anymore bcuz he now WANTS YOU.
With this being the case.....
What could you possibly expect to gain from him or this whole situation? What?
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2/12/2015 5:51:53 PM |
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whydo
Hartford, CT
38, joined Oct. 2013
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Ok lets try it this way. You want this man bcuz he don't want you. So if he ever gave you what you want..... which is his attention..... then you wouldn't want him anymore bcuz he now WANTS YOU.
With this being the case.....
What could you possibly expect to gain from him or this whole situation? What?
I wanted him to want me and be considerate. I did like him. I'm not sure how things took on this emotional twist. I dunno I feel very confused. And my anxiety is super high. I don't want this happening ever again. I am upfront about my issues. Some say not to be. But I give someone the chance to respect them and be compassionate. If they can't then it won't work for me. I never claimed to be perfect. He was more than just ignoring me. Otherwise I wouldn't be so disappointed and fallen to yet again figure out my own issues. I've been ignored and rejected my whole developing years by the most important, I am not sure how I made this guy repeat this experience except that I came on to open and strong and needy. I'm so tired of having issues that prevent me from getting what I want. And I don't even want much compared to everyone else.
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2/12/2015 6:17:50 PM |
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Sanfeliz
Haverhill, MA
29, joined Jan. 2015
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Op... "Let it go!"
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2/12/2015 6:38:00 PM |
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whydo
Hartford, CT
38, joined Oct. 2013
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I just had this realization. I was thinking what did I ever do to make those people ignore me, and I realize...I did nothing because none of it was my fault. What do I do now to make people consistently ignore me??? The same thing ironically. I do nothing because I manage to keep myself in this place. It really sucks when the world has repeatedly either ignored you or attacked you for trying. It's not easy to give up old beliefs though. It's not easy to to do the ignoring for change.
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2/12/2015 6:50:54 PM |
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dr_i_got_answer
Gwynn Oak, MD
48, joined Jun. 2014
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I just had this realization. I was thinking what did I ever do to make those people ignore me, and I realize...I did nothing because none of it was my fault. What do I do now to make people consistently ignore me??? The same thing ironically. I do nothing because I manage to keep myself in this place. It really sucks when the world has repeatedly either ignored you or attacked you for trying. It's not easy to give up old beliefs though. It's not easy to to do the ignoring for change.
Ok well let me ask this... I sent you a msg about this thread. You read it but didn't reply. Why?
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2/12/2015 7:13:42 PM |
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epz19
Lancaster, CA
67, joined Jun. 2014
online now!
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communicating in the Internet, is so totally different than communicating face to face.
We might fall in love with our own emotions, the way we want to feel. words we want to
hear. total fantasize daydreaming.
Photos not real ,or disguise. All is a came. If this person want you, you will know.
But you must be real yourself, with yourself.
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2/12/2015 8:29:23 PM |
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whydo
Hartford, CT
38, joined Oct. 2013
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communicating in the Internet, is so totally different than communicating face to face.
We might fall in love with our own emotions, the way we want to feel. words we want to
hear. total fantasize daydreaming.
Photos not real ,or disguise. All is a came. If this person want you, you will know.
But you must be real yourself, with yourself.
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2/12/2015 8:32:20 PM |
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worldwarzeke
Bakersfield, CA
89, joined Jul. 2014
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Let go.
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2/12/2015 8:36:10 PM |
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whydo
Hartford, CT
38, joined Oct. 2013
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Ok well let me ask this... I sent you a msg about this thread. You read it but didn't reply. Why?
because I'm in an emotional cocoon trying to resolve and move beyond these inner issues in order to get what I deserve out of life...plus my focus is on this guy...when u unboxed me it felt like u were trying to move in at someone's vulnerable moment. I don't want to date a savior if that's your goal. I'm looking for a real true equal connection.
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2/12/2015 8:38:33 PM |
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whydo
Hartford, CT
38, joined Oct. 2013
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on so many levels...
Let go.
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2/12/2015 9:12:37 PM |
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datxbass
Plainview, NY
18, joined Jan. 2015
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He's not the one for you if he's not feeling it.
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2/12/2015 10:28:15 PM |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
62, joined Oct. 2009
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It gets really old when a woman is all the time about just about every little thing. GEEZ! You're supposed to worship GOD not your emotions. If it's not working out for you then dump him who for someone who is willing to worship you and make you the center of his universe. You're 36 OP, GROW UP! In other words, no wonder you're still single or divorced! Your attitude is so HS. Dump him if you feel that way. I'm guessing he won't give a damn. It's not like you have a real relationship going. You know if he were really interested he would have visited quite some time ago. Did you want him to move in with you?
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2/13/2015 12:43:41 AM |
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dr_i_got_answer
Gwynn Oak, MD
48, joined Jun. 2014
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because I'm in an emotional cocoon trying to resolve and move beyond these inner issues in order to get what I deserve out of life...plus my focus is on this guy...when u unboxed me it felt like u were trying to move in at someone's vulnerable moment. I don't want to date a savior if that's your goal. I'm looking for a real true equal connection.
The first time I msg yoj it was before I commented on this, no response just deleted.
The second time was to just simply discuss the situation, that is what I do. Give ppl an outlet to discuss issues and offer advice.
But if I gave you thd impression that I was trying to take advantage of an emotionally vulnerable woman I truly apogize for the mishap.
Personally I wouldn't someone currently in that state bcuz it would nowhere anyway and its just wrong.
Friends?
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2/13/2015 12:54:08 AM |
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vagmasterflash
Durand, WI
49, joined Nov. 2014
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Stalk him. You fit the type. Stalk him, knock him out, and kidnap him, and make him your slave, and force him to listen to all these threads you dump on us.
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2/13/2015 5:52:11 AM |
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whydo
Hartford, CT
38, joined Oct. 2013
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The first time I msg yoj it was before I commented on this, no response just deleted.
The second time was to just simply discuss the situation, that is what I do. Give ppl an outlet to discuss issues and offer advice.
But if I gave you thd impression that I was trying to take advantage of an emotionally vulnerable woman I truly apogize for the mishap.
Personally I wouldn't someone currently in that state bcuz it would nowhere anyway and its just wrong.
Friends?
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2/13/2015 5:53:51 AM |
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whydo
Hartford, CT
38, joined Oct. 2013
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Stalk him. You fit the type. Stalk him, knock him out, and kidnap him, and make him your slave, and force him to listen to all these threads you dump on us.
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2/13/2015 5:59:59 AM |
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dezweather
Phoenix, AZ
43, joined Oct. 2014
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Why do women do this?
Talking a few times doesn't mean we're in an exclusive relationship.
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2/13/2015 7:39:41 AM |
Available to communicate |
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dr_i_got_answer
Gwynn Oak, MD
48, joined Jun. 2014
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Why do women do this?
Talking a few times doesn't mean we're in an exclusive relationship.
They process differently bcuz they're wired differently. Man was given dominion for a reason. Start to see the connection?
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2/13/2015 9:55:13 AM |
Available to communicate |
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whydo
Hartford, CT
38, joined Oct. 2013
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They process differently bcuz they're wired differently. Man was given dominion for a reason. Start to see the connection?
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