Does it matter how u start?

2/24/2015 12:05:48 PM	Does it matter how u start?
plain_jane_doe Gulfport, MS 29, joined Dec. 2014	I believe how a relationship starts sets the tone for how it will progress. For example, whoever intiates communication or contact first becomes the head of the relationship and is expected to continue doing so from that point on. Do you tend to agree or disagree with that? Why or why not? Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
2/24/2015 12:41:26 PM	Does it matter how u start?
soulflight Dayton, OH 53, joined Apr. 2014	Nothing is that cut and dry across the board. You're just creating limitations for yourself and any potential partner
2/24/2015 12:43:55 PM	Does it matter how u start?
mortara Pittsburgh, PA 61, joined Feb. 2014	Quote from plain_jane_doe: I believe how a relationship starts sets the tone for how it will progress. For example, whoever intiates communication or contact first becomes the head of the relationship and is expected to continue doing so from that point on. Do you tend to agree or disagree with that? Why or why not? Interesting point of view. Now on OKCupit they give you a match percentage and really that works most of the time. I can tell by a 65% match that if the woman contacts me first, it's not going anywhere no matter what I say. [Edited 2/24/2015 12:44:24 PM ]
2/24/2015 12:53:18 PM	Does it matter how u start?
plain_jane_doe Gulfport, MS 29, joined Dec. 2014	Quote from soulflight: Nothing is that cut and dry across the board. You're just creating limitations for yourself and any potential partner Elaborate on those limitations for me plz, ma'am
2/24/2015 12:56:40 PM	Does it matter how u start?
plain_jane_doe Gulfport, MS 29, joined Dec. 2014	Quote from mortara: Interesting point of view. Now on OKCupit they give you a match percentage and really that works most of the time. I can tell by a 65% match that if the woman contacts me first, it's not going anywhere no matter what I say. U solely rely on that percentage to dictate the probability of there being a connection between u and this hypothetical woman? Or was that a shameless plug for OKCupid?
2/24/2015 1:07:40 PM	Does it matter how u start?
love2kiss8 Columbus, OH 23, joined May. 2013	I don't agree with your statement.
2/24/2015 1:11:35 PM	Does it matter how u start?
plain_jane_doe Gulfport, MS 29, joined Dec. 2014	Quote from love2kiss8: I don't agree with your statement. Please bless us all with the reason why u don't agree
2/24/2015 1:34:31 PM	Does it matter how u start?
pickygirl72 Phelan, CA 44, joined Sep. 2011	A balance needs to be created. Both people needs to be in it %100. Both people need to be on board. Both need to want the same thing. No one person should b in control.
2/24/2015 1:55:33 PM	Does it matter how u start?
bumblebee7 Fort Payne, AL 59, joined Apr. 2011	Quote from plain_jane_doe: I believe how a relationship starts sets the tone for how it will progress. For example, whoever intiates communication or contact first becomes the head of the relationship and is expected to continue doing so from that point on. Do you tend to agree or disagree with that? Why or why not? Interesting you say that like that...because traditionally its the men who are expected to initiate, have the car, take them out, be this and that and the other...while they merely exist....and a host of other things, such as he needs to be all of this, yet accept her as is. Most men will say, it started out that way and that's just the way it is like it or now...but as things progressed it balanced out to a point....but in closed corners most will say....you know how it is we are men and this is expected, she is a woman and well..its just the way it is....you know how it is...to room full of heads nodding in a agreement. that said...I don't completely agree with your statement, but considering my first paragraph up there, do you realize you just stated that in general most men get the shaft...by Proxy of your own statement...
2/24/2015 1:57:28 PM	Does it matter how u start?
bumblebee7 Fort Payne, AL 59, joined Apr. 2011	I will say this....if its too one sided from the beginning....in the long run many times that will hold the course in reality in the relation...in one way or another.
2/24/2015 2:02:01 PM	Does it matter how u start?
iheartidiots Grove City, OH 37, joined Feb. 2012	Quote from bumblebee7: I will say this....if its too one sided from the beginning....in the long run many times that will hold the course in reality in the relation...in one way or another. Truth.
2/24/2015 2:04:45 PM	Does it matter how u start?
plain_jane_doe Gulfport, MS 29, joined Dec. 2014	Quote from pickygirl72: A balance needs to be created. Both people needs to be in it %100. Both people need to be on board. Both need to want the same thing. No one person should b in control. In a perfect world I would be inclined to agree with u. Unfortunately I don't believe there's any relationship where both parties involved are giving 100% at the same time. At, different points in the relationship, one of those parties is going to be giving more than the other. Hence, the cliche "give & take." I do believe that in each relationship one of the parties involved is either captain or co-captain?
2/24/2015 2:05:42 PM	Does it matter how u start?
plain_jane_doe Gulfport, MS 29, joined Dec. 2014	Quote from bumblebee7: I will say this....if its too one sided from the beginning....in the long run many times that will hold the course in reality in the relation...in one way or another. That was my point
2/24/2015 2:10:38 PM	Does it matter how u start?
bumblebee7 Fort Payne, AL 59, joined Apr. 2011	Okay...and in the traditional way of thinking. which gender is usually expected to do this and that mostly in the beginning.? while the other merely exist? not that I'm saying that's always the case or that most of my relations started that way because they didn't. but still in the traditional way of thinking, it had been that way for so many years and still around these days to whatever point. so............................................? [Edited 2/24/2015 2:11:03 PM ]
2/24/2015 2:16:30 PM	Does it matter how u start?
unique_woman Omaha, NE 27, joined Dec. 2014	I disagree thats just someone who makes the first move [Edited 2/24/2015 2:16:45 PM ]
2/24/2015 2:21:42 PM	Does it matter how u start?
soulflight Dayton, OH 53, joined Apr. 2014	Quote from plain_jane_doe: Elaborate on those limitations for me plz, ma'am people and relationships are dynamic...to expect them to never change is limiting.
2/24/2015 2:24:21 PM	Does it matter how u start?
cubcougar Lucerne, CA 62, joined Oct. 2010	Pretty big adams apple you got there OP .. you having fun in Mayberry ...
2/24/2015 2:30:48 PM	Does it matter how u start?
plain_jane_doe Gulfport, MS 29, joined Dec. 2014	Quote from bumblebee7: Okay...and in the traditional way of thinking. which gender is usually expected to do this and that mostly in the beginning.? while the other merely exist? not that I'm saying that's always the case or that most of my relations started that way because they didn't. but still in the traditional way of thinking, it had been that way for so many years and still around these days to whatever point. so............................................? Men mostly. I like for a man to take charge and be the head of the relationship. That entails making the first move and steering the relationship in a direction that we both agree upon. However, I was speaking in general. You turned it into something gender specific.
2/24/2015 2:31:07 PM	Does it matter how u start?
mortara Pittsburgh, PA 61, joined Feb. 2014	Quote from plain_jane_doe: U solely rely on that percentage to dictate the probability of there being a connection between u and this hypothetical woman? Or was that a shameless plug for OKCupid? Not a plug but it does seem that if it's below 90%, then any conversation via email is a chore.
2/24/2015 2:32:24 PM	Does it matter how u start?
plain_jane_doe Gulfport, MS 29, joined Dec. 2014	Quote from soulflight: people and relationships are dynamic...to expect them to never change is limiting. I agree with that.
2/24/2015 3:15:57 PM	Does it matter how u start?
greeleybro Longmont, CO 47, joined Oct. 2013 online now!	Even if the man takes charge initially the woman will eventually take over and will want everything her way. Then the man ends up holding her purse while she spends his money.
2/24/2015 4:08:36 PM	Does it matter how u start?
plain_jane_doe Gulfport, MS 29, joined Dec. 2014	Quote from greeleybro: Even if the man takes charge initially the woman will eventually take over and will want everything her way. Then the man ends up holding her purse while she spends his money. Why is this place one big gender battlefield?
2/24/2015 4:09:37 PM	Does it matter how u start?
twining Anderson, SC 23, joined Jun. 2014	Sure, but would it kill the other person to put in some effort?
2/24/2015 4:40:58 PM	Does it matter how u start?
greeleybro Longmont, CO 47, joined Oct. 2013 online now!	Quote from plain_jane_doe: Why is this place one big gender battlefield? Welcome to America!
2/24/2015 5:05:06 PM	Does it matter how u start?
eyes4unow Pomfret, CT 45, joined Dec. 2013	Who said anything about control in the opening post? I do agree the OP has a point. It can be an indication of who in the relationship is the extrovert and introvert or myers Briggs. Which would make one person (extrovert) more likely to continue initiate communication/topics/doings.
2/24/2015 5:10:50 PM	Does it matter how u start?
bumblebee7 Fort Payne, AL 59, joined Apr. 2011	Quote from plain_jane_doe: Men mostly. I like for a man to take charge and be the head of the relationship. That entails making the first move and steering the relationship in a direction that we both agree upon. However, I was speaking in general. You turned it into something gender specific. nope...your thread title specifically says....how you start, that means how you start out that leads to a relation...those first emails, the first dates....etc you went on to say how a relation starts out set the tone to what will be. again, starting out are those first emails, the first dates...etc, etc, etc. ...
2/24/2015 5:43:37 PM	Does it matter how u start?
plain_jane_doe Gulfport, MS 29, joined Dec. 2014	Quote from cubcougar: Pretty big adams apple you got there OP .. you having fun in Mayberry ... Normally I don't respond to ignorance but I was unclear on the joke u were telling. Please dumb it down for us folks from Mayberry and explain the punchline. Cute snoopy gif though
2/24/2015 5:52:07 PM	Does it matter how u start?
soulflight Dayton, OH 53, joined Apr. 2014	Quote from eyes4unow: Who said anything about control in the opening post? I do agree the OP has a point. It can be an indication of who in the relationship is the extrovert and introvert or myers Briggs. Which would make one person (extrovert) more likely to continue initiate communication/topics/doings. ...depends on how you define introvert..I am def the introvert in my relationship but I do initiate things, in fact I was the one who initiated first contact but I'm not in charge nor do I always initiate. He is a true extrovert, he is energized by social interaction while I am more drained by it. Still, he does not initiate everything. I think there are certainly trends that could be noted but I don't think there is a standard answer for OP's question. [Edited 2/24/2015 5:52:41 PM ]
2/24/2015 6:25:23 PM	Does it matter how u start?
packersbabe920 Green Bay, WI 49, joined Jul. 2013	Quote from plain_jane_doe: I believe how a relationship starts sets the tone for how it will progress. For example, whoever intiates communication or contact first becomes the head of the relationship and is expected to continue doing so from that point on. Do you tend to agree or disagree with that? Why or why not? Don't agree,it don't matter who kick off the relationship first, won't nobody be head of nothing
2/24/2015 6:30:02 PM	Does it matter how u start?
audlove515 Jasper, IN 26, joined May. 2011	Quote from plain_jane_doe: I believe how a relationship starts sets the tone for how it will progress. For example, whoever intiates communication or contact first becomes the head of the relationship and is expected to continue doing so from that point on. Do you tend to agree or disagree with that? Why or why not? So superstitious...
2/24/2015 9:02:50 PM	Does it matter how u start?
ctr916v2 Roseville, CA 51, joined Nov. 2014	I disagree; for me, it is more about spending quality time with each other. I believe the person who wants the relationship the most should put the most effort toward obtaining it.
2/24/2015 10:11:13 PM	Does it matter how u start?
driver406 Saint Paul, MN 63, joined Oct. 2009	Who knows?
2/24/2015 10:33:04 PM	Does it matter how u start?
grneyesrme Sacramento, CA 47, joined Aug. 2013	No, it doesn't seem to work that way in my experience.

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