| 10/8/2007 7:24:32 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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That's too bad sailor. Ain't our laws and regulations nifty? lol
[Edited 10/8/2007 7:25:11 PM ]
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| 10/8/2007 7:26:20 PM |
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sailor_nc
Norfolk, VA
49, joined Oct. 2007
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Sometimes I just don't know... I have sat crossed eyed and baffled in court a few times.
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| 10/8/2007 7:29:52 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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I know a few judges.. some are ok some are flaky as hell
and lawyers.. well... ummmmmm... errrrrrr lol
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| 10/8/2007 7:31:01 PM |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
70, joined May. 2007
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what helps.... your atty. should know the court docket....what judges are on or off... what judges are more favorable....for your pleadings... that could give you the edge...
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| 10/8/2007 7:33:26 PM |
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sailor_nc
Norfolk, VA
49, joined Oct. 2007
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sunnyday or tru, have you ever heard incomes sticking with mutual incomes have less of a rate of divorce than that of a marrying out of a income bracket. And if they do divorce the load is lighter because of security found in both parties. My attorney gave my a factsheet on this I might scan it and post it on here one day, it's very intigueing to read.
My attorneys did, they pushed the dates for one judge when the judge was supposed to be the sitting one, it turned out he was sick and the judge taking his place refused another continuence.
[Edited 10/8/2007 7:35:54 PM ]
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| 10/8/2007 7:35:46 PM |
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gawd
Appleton, WI
63, joined Oct. 2006
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I agree with Tru..When I went to court, (I left him with everything) the judge sat there and asked me over and over again..do I know what I was doing..I could take half of everything..He was a jerk..I knew what I was doing..those were just things..and I didnt want anything...
I feel for the men especially if their wife cheated on them..those women should get $0....and it makes me so mad..when women get greedy.
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| 10/8/2007 7:36:15 PM |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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I made 50, ex made 38, is that close?
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| 10/8/2007 7:36:46 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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I don't think the idea of alimony was ever thought through very well at all. It was different 30 yrs ago when wives stayed at home. However, as someone pointed out on here ( I think) the age should be a factor. It would be more difficult for someone my age to get a job ( if I had not been working in awhile while married) and would need more assistance and time to get on my feet. But.. on the other hand, most of us knew when things started to go sour in the marriage and she should have been putting away money to start a new life if she thought a divorce would prob be the result at the end. At least.. that's what I did
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| 10/8/2007 7:41:48 PM |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
70, joined May. 2007
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tru....... i loved the 70"s....... life was simple...... in PA.
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| 10/8/2007 7:44:03 PM |
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kirota2
Webster City, IA
44, joined Oct. 2007
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I'm not trying to be the ball breaker here, but I have to say that you men picked these women and married them. It is not a perfect world and I don't know either of your situations, but I'm betting that neither of you were a peach to live with all the time. To say that alimony should not be used at all is crazy. I didn't get alimony, but I could have. All situations are different and you can't lump all women into one category based on your situations. If you are getting a bad deal I am sorry, but some women give up everything for a marriage while the man gave up nothing and I think that she should, if she wants it, should get part of what was earned while she was married. Housewifes don't get paid and don't think it is such a pleasure to be stuck at home all the time because it is not such a joy all the time.
kirota
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| 10/8/2007 7:46:17 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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PA huh? That's where all the good lookin guys are lol
Yeah.. life was more simple back then. sigh.. I wanna go back!
Kirota.. I don't think anyone is lumping anyone into a catagory. I think they feel it also depends on the entire situation of that couple. They were merely reflecting on their own experience. And you betcha! Being a housewife is NOT an easy job
[Edited 10/8/2007 7:48:56 PM ]
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| 10/8/2007 7:47:41 PM |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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You're right Kirota, you don't know. Ex would drop kids off to me at 4 to go to work. I had to feed them, homework and so on. During the day they were at school, who was working more here?
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| 10/8/2007 7:48:34 PM |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
70, joined May. 2007
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KIROTA.... i did not mean to open up a can of worms.... .......and you are right....but people change my friend..... ........ and the big word is be FAIR with your departing spouse....otherwise you will live with the guilt for the rest of your .....LIFE....
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| 10/8/2007 7:51:21 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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<<<---- pats sunny and steak on the back and offers them a cookie. I got off easy in my divorce so I cannot really relate to what you all have gone through. I was married to a toad. I tried that " til death" do us part thingy but I kept shooting to the left. It was an easy divorce. We used the same lawyer since I wanted so little from him and it was over in about a month Tada!
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| 10/8/2007 7:53:16 PM |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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All I'm sayin Tru is not all guys are a**holes, now someone has got me pissed
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| 10/8/2007 7:53:55 PM |
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waytogo51
Farmington, AR
61, joined May. 2007
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Tru, that's how my ex and I did it. Well kinda. used her lawyer. Went easy and over and done and single in a month.
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| 10/8/2007 7:55:01 PM |
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sailor_nc
Norfolk, VA
49, joined Oct. 2007
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kirota2 I did not get a bad deal with my first wife, it was my last wife I got burned bad, no one is a peach to live with all the time. But this is no excuse to commit gross/lude acts, and then request payment for them. With my first we have a very good relationship and she is the mother of my kids, I never minded paying a dime to her even when they lived with me. I cannot say either of my wives sacrificed anything material because neither had anything and both already had educations and choose not to work because I made enough to support the family. The thing that blows my mind is I think all should have jobs and neither even work single. This is the paradox we live in, some women (not all) want to be payed as equals and treated as women, but quite a few screw this up for many men. I know I was a Navy psychiatrist and psychologist 22 years and had a huge amount of these types comming to see me weekly.
I cannot help my last wife was a closet nymphomaniac, and I speak for all in saying even with my best schooling and experiance, I could not see this comming. So you have to have think about it "is this why:? "to get into realtionships is called a risk"?
[Edited 10/8/2007 8:01:37 PM ]
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| 10/8/2007 7:56:20 PM |
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kirota2
Webster City, IA
44, joined Oct. 2007
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Steak, I am not saying that you didn't do work. Like I said not all situations are the same. I left my marriage with no guilt or regrets. I left with less than what I came in with after trying for a year to make it work when I wasn't happy. I took care of kids 6days a wk totally by myself so I know that some women do a lot of work that men don't think is. All I was saying is that you can't lump all women or situations into one lump.
Steak, it is unfortunate that this happen to you. I wish you the best of luck.
Kirota
BTW, Steak and any other man on this thread.....I don't think any nor did I insinuate that any of you were a**holes. I wasn't even talking to you when I posted that, but if you want to assume and be pissed off feel free. I am not going to stop you.
[Edited 10/8/2007 8:00:31 PM ]
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| 10/8/2007 7:56:35 PM |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
70, joined May. 2007
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USING the same atty....... like me look >.....that is dangerous and cannot be done in some states.....
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| 10/8/2007 7:57:15 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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Steak..If I thought ya was an a**hole, I wudn't have anything to say to ya. Calm down and breatheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Way.. I guess it just depends on how much ya wanna fight and what you are fighting over. He just didn't have anything I wanted to fight for
Well.. the same lawyer for us worked for us both. I wasn't angry or a bitter woman at the divorce. I'm the one who walked out. I think we both had the same idea but.. with him caring too much what others thought.. it was best that I look like the b*tch and walk away.
[Edited 10/8/2007 7:58:56 PM ]
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| 10/8/2007 7:58:13 PM |
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happy4evr
Picayune, MS
56, joined Oct. 2007
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You know after years of mental, emotional, and other kinds of abuse I decided to go back to college. Got a BA in HIstory, and then walked away, got a divorce without a penny from him. Before that I was a stay at home Mom and wife but I had enough foresight to do something about earning a living. Every situation is different with different people. All he has to pay is child support for the youngest. I am happier now than I have ever been. He did not help me with college. He, of course, did not want me to go. I worked two part time jobs and the government has several programs to help displaced homemakers get through college. If I can do it anyone can.
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| 10/8/2007 7:58:38 PM |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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And while I'm at it, when I was off from my back being broken, I got the kids off to school, breakfast and all. Then I cleaned the house. Was done by 9:30, worked out, watched History Channel, started dinner around 3, kids came home at 4. Yeah, I had it rough, would do that any frickin day instead of working.
[Edited 10/8/2007 7:59:21 PM ]
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| 10/8/2007 7:59:43 PM |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
70, joined May. 2007
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steak and tru...... we all have our opinion......just respect theirs..... otherwise you will be thrown out of this COURT....ON CONTEMP.....>>>>THE JUDGE>>>
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| 10/8/2007 8:01:14 PM |
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waytogo51
Farmington, AR
61, joined May. 2007
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Tru, I didn't leave with a lot. I let her have the house. For the most part it went pretty smooth.
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| 10/8/2007 8:01:49 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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sooooooooooooo.. steak.. are ya sure you are wanting a LT relationship? lol I mean.. ya sounds pretty bitter.. and don't get me wrong.. ya have the right to feel that way! I'm just wondering if you can put that behind you far enough to not judge the next woman
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| 10/8/2007 8:03:00 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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respect whose opinions sunny? I didn't say anything against anyone! I'm innocent I'm telling ya!
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| 10/8/2007 8:04:10 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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Way.. mine went fine too. Of course, he spent the next 3 months coming over and crying in front of the boys to get them to feel for him.. but they knew the score.
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| 10/8/2007 8:04:50 PM |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
70, joined May. 2007
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EVERYMAN.....needs to walk on before he can walk on his 2's.....after a divorce...... i suppose women do it there way......
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| 10/8/2007 8:05:57 PM |
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waytogo51
Farmington, AR
61, joined May. 2007
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Wow Tru sounded like you had a dandy there.
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| 10/8/2007 8:06:12 PM |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
70, joined May. 2007
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typo......walk on their 4's first....
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| 10/8/2007 8:06:20 PM |
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nvr4gttn
Yelm, WA
55, joined Aug. 2007
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i filed on my hubby and i hope to God that the i receive alimony. he brought in 81% of our household compared to my 19%. according to my attorney there has to be an equalization in the incomes. all i want is what the girls and i are entitled to by a court of law...
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| 10/8/2007 8:07:12 PM |
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sailor_nc
Norfolk, VA
49, joined Oct. 2007
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kirota2 if you consider sitting at home and spending my money as viable work we are on a different playing ground I cooked most of the time and was the one picking up the kids a lot of the times, the house was never cleaned or taken care of by my last wife. I tried to pull out twice, she first appeared to me a responsible women, and later turned into a nightmare, as sunnyday said people change.
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| 10/8/2007 8:07:38 PM |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
70, joined May. 2007
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| 10/8/2007 8:11:08 PM |
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sailor_nc
Norfolk, VA
49, joined Oct. 2007
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consider this if you would have had the same as you had going in as you would have had not going in, are you really entitled to anything at that point?
Unless I took you out of mommy and daddys basement, had kids with you and then made up my mind I did not love you anymore I don't think I should have to pay for a lifestyle you never had even when you were with me. My last wife based her lifestyle on a Benz and a Rolex which I never bought for her. She unknown to me bought those things under my name when I was overseas.
I drive a 99 Tahoe I could care less about status.
[Edited 10/8/2007 8:15:53 PM ]
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| 10/8/2007 8:11:58 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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I think everyone agrees that alimony depends on each individual's circumstances. The main point is that alimony is not an excuse to sit around on your a** for years while you are being paid alimony
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| 10/8/2007 8:14:09 PM |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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No Tru, I have no problem with putting it behind. I just can't stand someone mouthing off about shit when I've been there. I did look after my kids and if that makes me bad so be it, I can sleep at night. Why would me stating my opinion be bad? At least you know I'm honest (Or full of crap) 
Just some things really get under my skin, that one did. I never was and will never be a POS Dad. Just check forums, I try to keep it light until some off the wall crap. I protect my kids and whatever I did until I die.
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| 10/8/2007 8:19:43 PM |
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sailor_nc
Norfolk, VA
49, joined Oct. 2007
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As you should be steak, some will never take the time to know this, the only success
I have had talking about this subject is in person, it's hard to show a lot of things through writing only, downright frustrating at times.
[Edited 10/8/2007 8:20:21 PM ]
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| 10/8/2007 8:20:22 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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I know that steak. Don't let it get to ya
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| 10/8/2007 8:23:38 PM |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
70, joined May. 2007
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tru.....marbles...?
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| 10/8/2007 8:25:07 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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I understand the frustrations you guys feel and its understandable.
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| 10/8/2007 8:25:55 PM |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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It did, blame my Mom (), I got her mouth. I'd give the world for my kids before myself and I'm not afraid to say so to the world.
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| 10/8/2007 8:29:17 PM |
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kirota2
Webster City, IA
44, joined Oct. 2007
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Steak, you have attacked me and acted like I said something that isn't true. Did you pick your wife to marry you? Yes Did I not say that I didn't know anyones situation? If you think you were always a peach to live with you would be one of the only people. I didn't attack you for your opinions while you are attacking me for mine. I got nothing. I lost several of my world champion horses in the process. I am not one of those women that lives of my ex-husbands money. I am a mother raising two daughters only getting child support for one while going through cancer, while working full time. I'm not looking for sympathy or someone to feel sorry for me, nor am I going to feel sorry for myself. Divorce does not happen in church and not everyone handles it the same. Eventually we all have to suck it up and move on. I guess if you think my comment is off the wall fine, but I am tired of hearing about the nasty women that get alimony as well.
BTW, Steak, Never once did I say that you weren't there for your kids nor did I say that you didn't take care of them. What I said in a nutshell is every situation is different and not all divorces can be lumped into one category.
[Edited 10/8/2007 8:33:47 PM ]
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| 10/8/2007 8:35:32 PM |
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thenewme
New Castle, PA
54, joined Mar. 2007
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I always believed that alimony should not be a permant thing. And now I am living what I believe. My ex is paying child support, and he is paying me a small amount a month for a year. I that time I believe I should be able to get my finances in order enough not to need it anymore. I was working when the divorce came, I think a stay at home mom should get help longer depending on the situation.
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| 10/8/2007 8:37:41 PM |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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Kirota, apparently you haven't read my responses. Highlights: I'm in favor for someone getting alimony that raised kids only. I'm sorry for your situation, I truly am. But one must realize that all are not bad. I didn't start this thread, just responded from my situation which is JMO.
[Edited 10/8/2007 8:38:12 PM ]
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| 10/8/2007 8:39:41 PM |
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navyhm2soc
Coronado, CA
36, joined Sep. 2007
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Tough crowd here; Lets just make a better future, we can't change our past, if I could I would change a few things but this chance will never come. So I have to accpet my circumstances and live for today.
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| 10/8/2007 8:43:37 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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It's all we can do.. is learn from the mistakes. I just think that alimony should not last 5 years and the ex should not be able to sit on their a** the entire 5 yrs
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| 10/8/2007 8:49:34 PM |
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navyhm2soc
Coronado, CA
36, joined Sep. 2007
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Well somethings are not mistakes, they just happen and we have to deal with them no matter if we think they are right or not, I can't change laws by filbustering them, so I choose not to even bother arguing or giving an opinion on them.
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| 10/8/2007 8:56:21 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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Some things can't be changed.. and yeah.. just have to grit our teeth and accept them. But it is good to sound off about them. Is therapy and the chance of shedding some light on it that wasn't seen before
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| 10/8/2007 8:58:34 PM |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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And I look like an a** for saying so, oh well. Won't be a first for sure!
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| 10/8/2007 9:00:13 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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what makes ya think ya looked like an a** steak?
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| 10/8/2007 9:02:13 PM |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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Fer stickin up for my kids, and I don't give a rats!
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| 10/8/2007 9:02:59 PM |
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kirota2
Webster City, IA
44, joined Oct. 2007
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Steak, I truely am sorry for you situation. I was not pointing a finger at anyone. I think that everyone suffers in a divorce in someway or the other. Even I did and I had a very friendly divorce. I hope that things get better for you and that you find the person that deserves you and respects all that you do.
Kirota
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| 10/8/2007 9:04:14 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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steak.. no one was putting you down about your kids. Just unwind and breatheeeeeeeeeeeee dammit lol
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| 10/8/2007 9:04:50 PM |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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As I do for you also Kirota
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| 10/8/2007 9:06:21 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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are we happy again? huh? huh? I do so luvvvvvvvvvv happy lol
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| 10/8/2007 9:06:46 PM |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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Now the whole world knows I'm an ass. But I knew it 1st
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| 10/8/2007 9:08:52 PM |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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yeah but ur sucha nice assssssssssssss steak
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| 10/8/2007 9:10:01 PM |
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kirota2
Webster City, IA
44, joined Oct. 2007
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Steak, I don't seen an ass....I see a loving father that got a bad deal. I hope it gets better for you and I'm sorry if I upset you.
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| 10/8/2007 9:10:38 PM |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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Thanks Tru and Gawd, breathe Tom, breathe
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| 10/8/2007 9:11:32 PM |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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You're fine Kirota, just hit a nerve, sorry.
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