| 10/8/2007 3:29:55 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
69, joined May. 2007
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this is a good coffed break topic.......ALIMONY 
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 10/8/2007 3:31:00 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
69, joined May. 2007
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WHAT IS YOUR GUT ON THIS.................... >>>>>>>>
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| 10/8/2007 3:31:32 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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gawd
Appleton, WI
63, joined Oct. 2006
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I AGREE!and they should have to walk away without anything
[Edited 10/8/2007 3:32:00 PM ]
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| 10/8/2007 3:32:59 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
69, joined May. 2007
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i knew,,,you would say that..... ......how are you
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| 10/8/2007 3:33:32 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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allinthedo
Tracy, CA
39, joined Jun. 2007
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so if a man cheats on his wife and the wife files for a divorce, does this mean that she shouldnt get alimony and he should?
Never been married just my question?
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| 10/8/2007 3:33:49 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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waytogo51
Farmington, AR
60, joined May. 2007
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I say it all depends on why they had to file. There are a lot of reasons that are good
reasons.
And All that is one of them.
[Edited 10/8/2007 3:34:39 PM ]
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| 10/8/2007 3:34:14 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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nopretense
Harleysville, PA
56, joined Aug. 2007
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No way. What if one partner just walks out, leaving the other with children and marital debts? The one who is abandoned should be able to file for divorce without losing the right to support.
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| 10/8/2007 3:36:36 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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I don't think one should be denied alimony for filing first.. however, I do feel that alot of men get screwed in a divorce settlement. JMO
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| 10/8/2007 3:36:53 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
69, joined May. 2007
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in community property states.....there are NO reasons...... no one should get a paycheck... ... period......JUST GET A JOB.....
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| 10/8/2007 3:37:40 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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newlife4me2
Sioux Falls, SD
52, joined Jun. 2007
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In my case he is the sole wage earner atm. If I returned to work today he would earn 3x+ what I would make. Even after my degree he will earn 2x to 2x+ what I will make.
I spent 19 years devoted to this relationship and had an expectation that we would grow old together yada yada yada.........
Now, he has filed for the divorce and yet is still trying to fight giving me alimony. In this state they will only mandate it for up to five years for me, personally I think I should get it for 20 - how long we will have been married by the time this most likely will finalize through the courts. He cheated, he is leaving, me and the children...he should be paying. Don't get me wrong - I am not talking of bankrupting him at all, but why should I have to live hand to mouth, even temporarily? I didn't cheat, I didn't leave him.
But honestly, in the end, the most important thing of all to me will be that I am OUT of this relationship.
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| 10/8/2007 3:38:59 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
69, joined May. 2007
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TRU.......alimony.....is not gender fixed....as the court would put it...... its bad law......and soon it will be HISTORY.....
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| 10/8/2007 3:40:37 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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gawd
Appleton, WI
63, joined Oct. 2006
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Good points..and I agree tru that men do get screwed..
I know a man that is married and going to file for divorce..he has been faithful 30 years but his wife has denied him any affection for over 10 years..She has a masters degree and has never worked..now when he files she is going to get alimony and half of everything...its just not fair..
a senerio
A woman could marry a man say no to sex and wait for him to divorce her just for the money..That sure would be some easy money.
[Edited 10/8/2007 3:41:25 PM ]
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| 10/8/2007 3:43:27 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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waytogo51
Farmington, AR
60, joined May. 2007
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I agree that some of the law needs to be changed.
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| 10/8/2007 3:46:46 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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I realize that alimony is not gender fixed. Divorce brings out the greed in people and I just never understood that. Of course, my ex was money hungry all the time.. he could not see why in the hell I would do the Meals on Wheels in my community if I wasn't getting paid for it. We fought over money. Not because we did not have enough money.. but because he could not understand how money could possibly be lower on my list of priorities than ... say like.. my sons? happiness in the most simple form? OMG what a b*tch I was LOL
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| 10/8/2007 3:47:32 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
69, joined May. 2007
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HI....new...... your 19 years or my 7 years.....or jane does...75.......the $$$$$$ award is worked out in a pre-trail setttlement agreement.....most states this is mandatory....... each spouse gives....alitte......or spend 10,000 each....on atty....what shall it be....
ALIMONY..... is a penalty....$$$$$.....and why on earth would you ,,have a penalty on someone who DID NOT FILE..... .
this will be overturned in the higher courts SOON..................
I DO NOT PAY ALIMONY......JUST HIRE A HONEST ATTY.
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| 10/8/2007 3:48:04 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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gawd
Appleton, WI
63, joined Oct. 2006
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The laws definately need to change..I feel so bad for some men that get taken to the cleaners.
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| 10/8/2007 3:48:13 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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waytogo51
Farmington, AR
60, joined May. 2007
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Yes, SHAME on you Tru!!!
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| 10/8/2007 3:49:27 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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lol Way... yeah.. I just don't know what got into me
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| 10/8/2007 3:52:07 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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 My ex told me she wanted one but wouldn't file. Well, after some time of the cold shoulder shit and knowing you're not wanted I did. So I shouldn't get anything? This is just wrong people!
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| 10/8/2007 3:55:24 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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As I stated, the laws work for the women in divorce cases. I know some guy.. who right after getting a raise.. must give up that raise to the ex. It's no wonder marriage is becoming obsolete and that is sad.
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| 10/8/2007 3:57:11 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
69, joined May. 2007
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STEAK...... A good family law atty....... will advise you to work it out in the MANDATORY SETTLEMENT AGREEMENT..... both of you might have to give alittle...
BAD LAW EXAMPLES...... BOTH SPOUSES....WITH SAME INCOME..... THE COURTS ARE STUMPED !
they c/not order both to pay........ someone gets to go to the cleaners... 
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| 10/8/2007 3:57:49 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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Yea, it does give you a taste of the bitter pill, like chewin an aspirin
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| 10/8/2007 3:59:46 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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Sunny, I'm just saying what was I supposed to do. It was clear she didn't want me. Hang around and be miserable? I think not.
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| 10/8/2007 4:03:10 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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gawd
Appleton, WI
63, joined Oct. 2006
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Steak I feel so bad for you..I was wrong in my statement..I have just seen too many greedy women..
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| 10/8/2007 4:04:30 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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waytogo51
Farmington, AR
60, joined May. 2007
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Steak I would have done the same thing. Still sucks and not fair to you.
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| 10/8/2007 4:06:55 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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chinatown_girl
Oyster Bay, NY
28, joined May. 2007
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allinthedo that was what i was gonna say.
i think it depends on the situation. steak king or people in that situation would get a raw deal as well as a spouse who was being cheated on or abused, and would lose out for leaving a bad situation.
is there really that much alimony given when both spouses work?
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| 10/8/2007 4:07:10 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
69, joined May. 2007
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steak.......i take a half aspirin so i do not get a stroke....from my divorce a year ago......its good for you steak.....
sometimes....you have to roll the dice.... ....... good honest lawyers....have a better role......
or split....and move to a non-community property state...there are 41....but there is a residency requirement in most.....
or just......PRAY
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| 10/8/2007 4:07:32 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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It does suck! I know women who laugh all the way to the damn bank! It makes no sense for the guy to have to do all the suffering while the woman sits on her a** for the next 2-5 years getting alimony.
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| 10/8/2007 4:07:41 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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That sure wasn't the girl I married, her I miss. The new one sux ass
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| 10/8/2007 4:12:19 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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No alimony tru, I sent her to school, supported her in job changes and so on. Had child support, but that money don't mean shit to all the time I lost when my daughter was 14 (boys are older). Can't buy that back, but no sense in subjecting them to stupid a** arguments after she went to the bar with (Friends?)
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| 10/8/2007 4:12:29 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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chinatown_girl
Oyster Bay, NY
28, joined May. 2007
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steak do u have any idea what caused the change in her?
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| 10/8/2007 4:15:45 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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onlyforyou44
Helena, MT
72, joined Sep. 2007
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Alimony is the f-ckin you get for the f-ckin you got. Or didn't get in my case
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| 10/8/2007 4:16:25 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
69, joined May. 2007
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TRU....* steak.......watch the divorce rate drop when......when alimony is ABOLISHED
NO MORE FREE LUNCH.......
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| 10/8/2007 4:16:27 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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China, she turned 40 and said I was boring. Of course all my married years she wanted me home at night, which didn't bother me, kids were busy with extracurricular stuff anyway. BTW I think I am boring from not being out with the guys, but I can live with myself.
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| 10/8/2007 4:17:13 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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I can see paying alimony for a SHORT period of time while the ex gets on her/his feet.. but dayummmmmmm if they can't do this in 6 months or so.. they are just plain lazy and enjoying the free ride
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| 10/8/2007 4:18:17 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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kirota2
Webster City, IA
44, joined Oct. 2007
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I think there are a lof of what ifs in this question. My ex didn't want me to have a job outside of the house. I took care of all the billing for our trucking company, took care of kids, animals, an acreage on all of the bills. The day that he was home a wk he worked on his semi.....Are you telling me because I got tired of taking second place to a semi and not being able to have a life...... I deserve nothing in my divorce because I filed. That is crazy. I did just as much work as he did only I didn't get a paycheck for it. I didn't even get one day a wk off work. I think every situation should be evaluated and taken into account before anyone jumps to any decision. I had more before I married him than I did when I left. I didn't ask for alimony, but I damn well deserved it if I would have wanted it.JMO
Kirota
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| 10/8/2007 4:21:53 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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I'm not saying that no one should get alimony. I am saying, however, that the laws stick it to the men big time. Of course, the spouse should receive some assistance until he/she gets on her feet.. but he/she needs to stand up, take responsibility and get a job like everyone else.. and not sit on their a** and feed off the ex for a lengthy amount of time
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| 10/8/2007 4:27:39 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
69, joined May. 2007
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TO EVERYONE..... the history that made it law...in the 50"s.....was to have wives with a security blanket..... with here 5 kids....an no skills....back then to support the kids!!!
now in 07......some wives make more than their husbandS..... THE LAW SIMPLY DOES NOT APPLY.....>>>>>>>>> soon it will be abolished....
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| 10/8/2007 4:27:43 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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Don't get me wrong, she didn't feed on me (Other than 1/2 of shit) but I supported ( Mentally and monetarily) everything she wanted to do. This gets back to why should I get married again I guess. I love the company of a good woman, nothing like it. But who's to stop the next one from saying C YA!
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| 10/8/2007 4:30:57 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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kirota2
Webster City, IA
44, joined Oct. 2007
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I agree with you tru, sometimes that isn't always the easiest thing to do. I was fortunate enough to already have my job lined out because I new I wanted out. I made sure before I left that I could take care of my girls and myself with out him. Where I live though there are not the high paying jobs for women. It is tough to make enough money alone. 6mths in not enough time. Do you realize that you can't even buy a house with out two current years of work history? I mean it isn't that easy to get on your feet when the whole time you have been married you have had them knocked out from under you. I could have gotten over 2000 a month if I had taken alimony and child support, but didn't because peace with my exhusband was more important, but it did mean that I am going to struggle for longer than six months to get my feet on the ground. Like I said all situations are different.
kirota
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| 10/8/2007 4:32:11 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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That's what I'm saying Steak. How sad it is that most feel the way you do about marriage. Understandable.. but sad
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| 10/8/2007 4:35:41 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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But I didsn't do this Tru! Someone else left that bad taste in my mouth. What would you do if you were me? Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not perfect by any means, but this was a major decision. And they say buying a house is the most financial decision you'll ever make, BS!
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| 10/8/2007 4:40:56 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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I understand Steak! If I had everything and my ex got as much of it as alot of women do.. I'd be pissed too! But.. not every marriage is like that.. not every divorce is like that. If it happened to me.. I would be even more mistrusting that I am now.. but, I would hope that love would prevail. Damn me for being who and what I am lol I am so naive.. I know.. Ya can shoot me now ( SIGH)
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| 10/8/2007 4:44:56 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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nonickname49
Belchertown, MA
67, joined Jun. 2007
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In some states like massachusetts..alimony is based on amount of years
married and if the spouse is at a low level of income, meaning, if she
never worked, had limited social security coming in, etc, alimony in this
states averages 30 to 35 percent of adjusted income,
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| 10/8/2007 4:49:40 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
69, joined May. 2007
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HI....nick.....its bad law.....needs to go............in a n.y. minute....
she needs to be re-trained.....just like....what clinton did with welfare!!....i.e, the welfare rate dropped.....SO WILL DIVORCE.....
HAVE ONE ON ME>>>>>>
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| 10/8/2007 4:52:59 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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To sum this whole thread up- I feel like I was quadruple phuked. Lost all I worked for. Lost my wife. Lost my kids kinda, but not really, and lost faith in the opposite sex.
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| 10/8/2007 4:55:46 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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chinatown_girl
Oyster Bay, NY
28, joined May. 2007
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what clinton did for welfare...yes the welfare rate dropped but u just have more people who are the working poor. they are working but the pay is so low that they r still eligible for food stamps. they're just as poor as they were on welfare only they're not their to watch their kids so the kids are getting in more trouble. u really think this changed things for the better? reality check please.
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| 10/8/2007 4:56:55 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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kirota.. ok, the 6 months thing was just off the top of my head.. but ya know what I mean. You are absolutely right! Each situation IS different and it should be based on THAT situation. I'm not against alimony. I am against sticking it to the man unfairly
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| 10/8/2007 4:59:09 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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chinatown_girl
Oyster Bay, NY
28, joined May. 2007
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steak thats really the worse case scenerio. and its scary cause i hear it happening to a lot of people, men and women. i wish someone could figure out where the point is that makes it go wrong? is there something about a husband or wife going back to school; and the other spouse helping to pay for it? or maybe that one spouse is stuck with kids while the other has more interaction and mental exchange with adults?
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| 10/8/2007 5:02:09 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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Greed.. revenge.. hostility... hurt.. it all mixes together and it is never good.
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| 10/8/2007 5:02:27 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
69, joined May. 2007
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if the pay is tooooooo low...... just get re-trained like the rest of us.... no excuse here....
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| 10/8/2007 5:02:29 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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China, if the spouse doesn't have a job you have to pay up to 4 years alimony in this state to get them on their feet. I agree with that IF you were the person that dumped them for ANOTHER person. But it's too easy for someone to sat C YA for no reason in this world.
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| 10/8/2007 5:06:58 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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It is so very easy. And what is this crap about the woman getting after the divorce what they were accustomed to during the marriage? Divorce is a huge step and there are going to be changes for crying out loud. Work something out fairly.. but the man has just as much right to have a life as the woman
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| 10/8/2007 5:17:41 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
69, joined May. 2007
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tru.... thats why courts have the mandatory settlement conf........it avoids alimony...it forces couples to be fair....to avoid a $$$$$$$$$$ court battle...
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| 10/8/2007 5:20:27 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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trublu5ft2
Saint Joseph, TN
60, joined Jul. 2007
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sigh.. sunny.. ya so smart lol I guess I really don't need to be the one to debate this thread as I am not. nor have ever been money hungry. My only greed is that I won't share my home-made chocolate chip cookies.. well.. mebbe for the right one
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| 10/8/2007 5:21:12 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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steak_king
Utica, MI
60, joined Jul. 2007
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Got milk?
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| 10/8/2007 5:23:01 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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chinatown_girl
Oyster Bay, NY
28, joined May. 2007
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women make less money then men to begin with. so when a housewife who is out of the working world or never entered it tries to find work as an older woman, there's less chance of her being hired. if she is hired, theres less of a chance that she will make a wage that will let her live the way she lived when she was married. i don't mean like the rich and famous who now have to live in a single penthouse instead of the many mansions they enjoyed during marriage; i mean regular women who go from a middle class life to a poorer life; moving to a more dangerous part of town or even to the homeless shelter where the largest number of homeless are women with kids.
this is a reality to keep in mind, and not the tv image of young beautiful women living lavish lifestyles off of their huge alimony settlements; but of older women often with limited skills for todays workforce, living a lowered standard of living.
i think its the system itself that is the problem. the same things said about alimony can be said for men who have to pay child support, but its more pc to attack an ex-wife or husband than to attack the kids for making them have to spend money. child support is more of a burden on the average husband than alimony is. lots of people get mad at the dads who don't pay and a lot of them really can't pay and live a decent life at the same time. with the low wages a lot of guys get they can't pay rent and child support too. or they can pay but never plan to have a new family or help out if they remarry someone with kids.
u might think its crazy but there is a campaign - wages for housework, an idea thats been around a while. if women (or men) who stay home r compensated for the hours and years they put into raising a family then during a divorce there wouldnt be one spouse left at such a financial disadvantage, with the other forced to pay for them whether they could afford to or not. just an idea that some people in the world are considering.
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| 10/8/2007 5:24:15 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
69, joined May. 2007
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homemade cookies....sounds like a good break time..... to have some wal-mart ones......i know.....yours would knock my socks offffffffffffff....
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| 10/8/2007 5:25:00 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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chinatown_girl
Oyster Bay, NY
28, joined May. 2007
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sunnyday if retraining is so available and a solution how come so many guys who r downsized from their jobs r having trouble getting on their feet again when they've worked all their lives?
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| 10/8/2007 5:27:51 PM |
Who ever files for DIVORCE (first) should be DENIED ALIMONY>? |
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sunnyday7
Yuma, AZ
69, joined May. 2007
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china.....i agree the system needs to change.....an men and women who are downsized...have it hard....especially with....AGE DISCRIMINATION......
WE just have to be strong......
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