| 10/9/2007 1:05:27 PM |
Midlife Crisis.. or an Awakening? |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50
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I have been divorced since 91. I was contented with running my business, spending time with my adult sons and enjoying the company of friends and clients.
Thannnnnnn.. it all turned around when I turned 50 this year. It didn't bother me to turn 50. I do not feel old nor act it. I have no desire to have a sportscar or to be seen with a young stud, arm in arm in public. ( well.. ok.. sometimes, I do lol) I have no doubts about who and what I am.. nor doubts of what I want in life. However, lately... something within me as awaken and won't leave me the hell alone! The void in my life has always been there.. but now.. it is a larger deeper hole than I had noticed before. I find myself craving the kind of life that I have always dreamt of. It's an urgency that I cannot explain and I have no clue how or why this has suddenly come upon me. I am more intense than ever in watching couples my age and older together.. walking trembling hand in trembling hand.. actually looking at one another during breakfast at the diner. I see love all around me. I have always seen this and would smile at the sight and thought of seeing it.. yet now.. I find myself sighing a sad sigh and wishing things that I have been able to shrug off before. The idea of marriage appeals to me more than ever before. The yearning to share the rest of my life with someone is stronger than my ability to stop that yearning. The thought of waking up next to someone.. or have breakfast ready as they walk into the kitchen goes through my mind like a race. It is almost like a tv show that I cannot turn off.
What the hell is this?!
[Edited 10/9/2007 2:47:19 PM]
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| 10/9/2007 2:57:30 PM |
Midlife Crisis.. or an Awakening? |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 59
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I am not sure, but I been feeling about the same way. It started happening when I was about 55, not 50. At 50 I was still very happy being single and had no plans of ever getting married. About 55 I started feeling I wanted to share my life with someone. I don't love my alone time like I use too. Not sure what is changing, but I feel I want someone around instead of being happy to have my freedom like I use too.
I still date, but it is not as fun as it use to be. I feel the need for a relationship, not just a fun friend. While the friends are great and I love spending time with them, it is not the relationship I am desiring. Loved my bachelor life and thought I would be a life long bachelor. Now I am not so sure I want to remain that way the rest of my life.
I have friends that got divored or widowed very late in life. A lot of them are saying never again and are happy single. Maybe it is because I spend so many years single? I am not sure, but I do understand what you are saying.
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| 10/9/2007 3:02:36 PM |
Midlife Crisis.. or an Awakening? |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50
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Whew good! These thoughts have been strong all day and wasn't sure I could explain it in such a way that people could understand it. I loved my new-found freedom after my divorce. Than it began to change and.. although not happy with single life.. I was able to shrug it off. Now... that is becoming a challenge to ignore.
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| 10/9/2007 3:14:28 PM |
Midlife Crisis.. or an Awakening? |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 59
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I have always been happy single. This what confuses me the most. I loved being single, why am I wanting to change that now? It is not like I had no choice, I chose to be single.
Maybe it is the fact I have had my daughter living with me for almost three years now. I miss her when she is gone. Maybe that is why I am starting to feel lonely for the first time in my life. Maybe I am looking at the time when she will be out on her own and not wanting to be alone again?
I thought I might be the only one...glad to see I am not....LOL
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| 10/9/2007 3:18:55 PM |
Midlife Crisis.. or an Awakening? |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50
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My youngest son has been on his own for 3 yrs now. It's not the " empty nest" syndrome. It's nothing like I have felt before. I know myself so very well... and am almost always aware as to why I feel the things that I do.. but this has me stumped
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| 10/9/2007 4:13:22 PM |
Midlife Crisis.. or an Awakening? |
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iamawoodturner
Mountain Grove, MO
age: 56
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   hi tru,,sounds like you`ve got it bad!!some can call it midlife,getting to old,afriad to be alone,empty nest syndrome,on & on & on!! it maybe all of these put together?? only you can say what your heart is feeling,,only you can change this, only you can choose the one that you want to share your life with {that doesn`t mean he`ll feel the same way},,
i have read alot of your post,and feel you speak from your heart on some of them, on the others maybe there`s alot more to share and you know that it`s not the place to do it,,
i can only speak for myself and no one else,i`m the only one that knows what i`ve done in my life,there`s some good & bad things that i would want to share with that special someone,, when i turned 30 i was in a state of depression for about 3 years it seemed,,everyone said just wait until i turn 4o, when 40 came around it was great and no major depression ,,go figure,,50 i don`t remember it {DARN KIDS}55 great but starting to get the same feeling you have described,56 and i got it bad too,,i know for me that no one can made me happy,,i have to love me first then i can share my love with that special someone and all she can do is share with me,,when someone demands your feeling, things will never work out,,,i took the long way around this just to way,, that you`re not alone about the way you`re feeling,its just a natural feeling some of us share in common,,so don`t stop looking GOD will bless us all when he knows we can handle it
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| 10/9/2007 4:18:13 PM |
Midlife Crisis.. or an Awakening? |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50
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I am not afraid of growing old.. I am looking forward to it actually
I am not afraid of being alone.. as I have been that way a long time
It isn't any of the things that I have read about or have heard from people who say they are going through a midlife crisis.
It's not even a crisis... it's just this overwhelming feeling that I cannot shake. I am in dire need of changes.. this I can say with for certain. We all need change now and again and it used to be changing my hair color.. rearranging the entire house.. buying new outfits.. etc that was enough to calm my soul. But this is different
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| 10/9/2007 4:48:02 PM |
Midlife Crisis.. or an Awakening? |
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thepkk
Springfield, MO
age: 52
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Tru your not the only woman that feels that way. I just could never put it into words what it is I feel. Thanks for doing it so well.
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| 10/9/2007 4:59:23 PM |
Midlife Crisis.. or an Awakening? |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50
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Ya welcome Paula. Glad to know I am not the only one. It just doesn't sit with me very well. I can often " fix" it when certain things try to reach into my soul that I'm not really ready to have there.. but this is more powerful than anything I have felt or thought about. And I am ready for such changes.. don't get me wrong. I feel like.. a bird in a cage. I want out.. need to get out there and soar.. but I can't get the damn cage door open lol I have spent many years running from exactly what i am finding myself running to. Strange huh?
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| 10/9/2007 5:05:22 PM |
Midlife Crisis.. or an Awakening? |
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53lady
Jacksonville, FL
age: 53
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Same here Tru...can't shake it..I feel "unsettled" for lack of a better term. A wanderlust has come over me too..to just hit the road and see where I end up! Also that same sense of "urgency," for what, I don't have a clue!
So don't feel like the lone ranger there. This thing can make you wanna do crazy things too! Things I would never even consider a few years ago! What's up with that?????
Guess we just have to ride it out...hope it's over soon..don't really like feeling like this!  
[Edited 10/9/2007 5:06:57 PM]
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| 10/9/2007 5:12:16 PM |
Midlife Crisis.. or an Awakening? |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50
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Funny but.. it's unsettling to me.. but at the very same moment.. exciting. The feeling gives me a rush as well as makes me wanna step wayyyyyyy back. It's such a mix of emotions and thoughts.. like going haywire.
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| 10/9/2007 5:15:54 PM |
Midlife Crisis.. or an Awakening? |
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53lady
Jacksonville, FL
age: 53
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Yep Tru..."haywire" that's the word!
I'm going to do a google search and see what the symptoms are for women and a midlife crisis. Be back later with the results!!!
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| 10/9/2007 5:23:30 PM |
Midlife Crisis.. or an Awakening? |
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thepkk
Springfield, MO
age: 52
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I will be curious as to those results. I have that wanderlust bad.
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| 10/9/2007 5:24:58 PM |
Midlife Crisis.. or an Awakening? |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50
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It just may be my heart, soul and mind are all poking at me at the same time to make me see I am more than ready for a new chapter in my life.
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| 10/9/2007 5:40:17 PM |
Midlife Crisis.. or an Awakening? |
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thepkk
Springfield, MO
age: 52
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If that is the case Tru than it really hurts!!
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