Would you date me?

12/15/2008 8:18:35 PM	Would you date me?
r_bogdewic Ellsworth, PA age: 31	Deep in my mind I'm a romantic. I love to love. I love being loved. I passionate, compassionate, caring, and nurturing. I'm the type of guy who is your soul mate because of the devotion I put into the relationship I have with you. But there's a darker side to me. When things don't go the way I envisioned them to be, I get very upset, and hot tempered. I don't hit or in no way am I abusive, but I get a hot temper. If I feel that you are going to leave for a short time, or you are late for a date that we have, I get a temper. I feel and sence things on a whole different level. I imagine things in my mind that you are going to abandon me, even though you have no intention to. I make frantic efforts to avoid being abandoned and/or alone. I pout, I start arguments for no reason, I have hot temper flashes, and most of all, I'm different from the guy you met in the begining. Why am I telling you this? If you knew these things about me before you got involved with me, would you still date me? Or would would run and scream the other way, never to look back? I have Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD is a rare social disorder that is coming to the surface and alot of people suffer from this. Try and imagine loosing someone you loved so much and they left for no reason at all. You loved them, and to the best of your knowledge you did all the right things, made all the right moves at the right time, and were the best you ever imagined yourself to be. Now imagine facing the feeling of being desperate to get this person back in your life. You loose sight of everything else in life, and you only focus on getting this person back. So you make more desperate moves to show this person that you love them so much and would do anything to keep them in your life. Because they are lost to you, you become more frustrated at them, and at yourself for allowing them to slip away. So you give up and sink into a deep dark depression. Now imagine this person was there the whole time, but you just couldn't see it because you were so determined to get them back. Now imagine just snapping out of it and this person just looking at you with a "WTF" look on their face at your behaviors. Where does this analogy put you? Now think of this analogy and that's the way I feel towards a relationship. Would you still date me?
12/15/2008 8:31:53 PM	Would you date me?
blkbagger McHenry, IL age: 47 online now!
12/15/2008 8:34:42 PM	Would you date me?
r_bogdewic Ellsworth, PA age: 31	Quote from blkbagger: This is from National Lampoo's Radio Hour. "Buy this box, or we'll shoot this dog"
12/15/2008 8:34:43 PM	Would you date me?
texas_okie Laverne, OK age: 42	Are you on dope?
12/15/2008 8:34:53 PM	Would you date me?
caleb9 Billings, MT age: 45	Quote from blkbagger: ROFL!!!!
12/15/2008 8:36:47 PM	Would you date me?
r_bogdewic Ellsworth, PA age: 31	ROFL Why are guys posting on a forum I intended for women?
12/15/2008 8:57:56 PM	Would you date me?
bjk123 Layton, UT age: 51	Quote from r_bogdewic: ROFL Why are guys posting on a forum I intended for women? They're Bored??? I don't think you'll find many women who will post here. If they are honest, the kind of behavior you express is not one most women will be able to handle. Most of us have so much going on in our own lives that the thought of coping with this would be too much. You'll maybe get some "good luck's" and "I hope you find someone" but unless you find a woman who is a "fixer" type, you probably will not have much luck. There are a lot of techniques you can use to control the moods and tempers you get. I personally think you should find a support group, either online or locally to work on the things that trigger your behaviors. I think you will find that BPD is not as rare as you think it is and there is help out there. To ask someone to risk dating you at this time in your life is brave, but not very realistic. You're too young for me, so I am comfortable telling you how I see it. My brother is a paranoid-scziophrenic, manic-depressive so I do have some idea of what you're asking. My best advice to you is to let relationships go right now and find yourself first. You may email me anytime you wish, especially if you begin to feel the darkness coming on. I think you also should speak to your brother again, I believe he helped you a lot before. This is only meant to be helpful, please do not be offended.
12/15/2008 9:04:17 PM	Would you date me?
r_bogdewic Ellsworth, PA age: 31	Quote from bjk123: They're Bored??? I don't think you'll find many women who will post here. If they are honest, the kind of behavior you express is not one most women will be able to handle. Most of us have so much going on in our own lives that the thought of coping with this would be too much. You'll maybe get some "good luck's" and "I hope you find someone" but unless you find a woman who is a "fixer" type, you probably will not have much luck. There are a lot of techniques you can use to control the moods and tempers you get. I personally think you should find a support group, either online or locally to work on the things that trigger your behaviors. I think you will find that BPD is not as rare as you think it is and there is help out there. To ask someone to risk dating you at this time in your life is brave, but not very realistic. You're too young for me, so I am comfortable telling you how I see it. My brother is a paranoid-scziophrenic, manic-depressive so I do have some idea of what you're asking. My best advice to you is to let relationships go right now and find yourself first. You may email me anytime you wish, especially if you begin to feel the darkness coming on. I think you also should speak to your brother again, I believe he helped you a lot before. This is only meant to be helpful, please do not be offended. Awwwww sweetheart, I'm not offended. As a matter of fact, I got this post out because I'm a recovering BPD. Sure I have my moments, but I'm trying to get people who are in this same situation I once was to relate. I have found so many techniques through DBT and Marsha Linehan that I decided to start a support group myself. I have a website devoted to this, and if I was allowed to post it in this forum, I would. It's called Borderline Personality Disorder Hope. I'm not an expert in anyway, just a traveler on the same road to recovery as the many of US who are in similar situations, that I'm tying to offer hope to anyone who needs it. Thanks for posting all the same.
12/15/2008 9:08:17 PM	Would you date me?
ge0ge0 Tallahassee, FL age: 42 online now!
12/15/2008 9:12:31 PM	Would you date me?
sedonaphotofan Sedona, AZ age: 44 online now!	Quote from r_bogdewic: ROFL Why are guys posting on a forum I intended for women? Because we have opinions and love to voice them, it called an open forum for a reason. Are you looking for a date or giving a warning! Why would someone get involve with a time bomb! Karl in Sedona
12/15/2008 9:13:45 PM	Would you date me?
r_bogdewic Ellsworth, PA age: 31	Hey Geo: What's up? Nice to have you contributing to my posts again. I like your sence into psychology as well. You seem to have a grasp into it. The only thing my friend was that I was talking about Borderline Personality Disorder, not BiPolar Disorder. BiPolar Disorder is a chemical imbalance, while BPD is nothing more than a set of social interactions that snowballed up into one big mess that was triggered by PTSD and fireballed into repressed feelings and repressed memories that eventually sought their way out. This is a theory by Marsha Linehan, in the fact that it is biological-different from chemical imbalance. Thanks for posting on here. Keep in touch brother.
12/15/2008 9:15:12 PM	Would you date me?
caleb9 Billings, MT age: 45	Quote from sedonaphotofan: Because we have opinions and love to voice them, it called an open forum for a reason. Are you looking for a date or giving a warning! Why would someone get involve with a time bomb! Karl in Sedona Perfect, true post.
12/15/2008 9:17:05 PM	Would you date me?
sedonaphotofan Sedona, AZ age: 44 online now!	PS I was Married to someone with BPD I would take a class in it next time before crossing that ocean! Karl
12/15/2008 9:17:16 PM	Would you date me?
eyeswideopened Huntington Beach, CA age: 43	I dated a man exactly like you and I hung in there to "help" him overcome his weaknesses and insecurities because he was a wonderful man despite his flaws and anger. Now that I have been there in your situation, I would definatly say "no way" to you, turn away and never look back. You have to learn on your own to control yourself and fix what needs improvment on YOUR OWN. You cannot not expect another person to "save" you. It won't work. The man I am speaking of ended up commiting suicide from what I heard, but I can't nor want to verify it. But something that happend in 98' taunted him eight years later but then again, he never wanted help either.
12/15/2008 9:21:29 PM	Would you date me?
r_bogdewic Ellsworth, PA age: 31	Quote from sedonaphotofan: Because we have opinions and love to voice them, it called an open forum for a reason. Are you looking for a date or giving a warning! Why would someone get involve with a time bomb! Karl in Sedona Alright, would you date a woman like this? Would you have enough compassion to educate yourself if you really loved her, or would you completely abandon her? I'm well on the road to recovery, and true maybe I misrepresented myself, but I was trying to find those who maybe need a little hope in their lives who suffered where I once did, and sometimes do in a rare moment or two. Another reason I'm posting this is to market this disorder to see how many people really know about it. The old cliche is true, "People mock that which they don't understand". It's better to educate yourself, because one day you may find a perfect woman who you love and adore whole heartedly, and find out one day that she in fact is BPD. What would you do, as I pose the question to you again?

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