How do you go on after your husband has passed ?

4/14/2009 12:10:14 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
forever00 Montgomery, AL 62, joined Apr. 2009	Why is it so hard to go on after my husband has passed. he was the love of my life. it seems that I find myself waiting for him to walk through the door. it has been seven years. I just can't get over him. Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
4/14/2009 6:56:22 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
jonnyspec Tampa, FL 46, joined Jan. 2009	I lost my wife in January to cancer so I know what your feeling. I say just take it one day at a time... just my 2 cents, Jon
4/14/2009 3:09:32 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
blondie102 Staten Island, NY 72, joined Feb. 2009	Im truely sorry for you both. I lost my husband four years ago. I have learned to keep him in my heart. but have also learned im very much alive. Life is a gift.. and it is wonderful he wouldnt want me to be unhappy... so ill will always keep his memory alive.. but i believe there is a new chapter and i am willing to find out whats in store. Try not to waste the most precious gift of life.. everyones time line is different. yes it hurts
4/14/2009 6:31:32 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
3crosses Alamogordo, NM 59, joined Jul. 2008	Now I don't want to sound cruel, but there is an alternative to not going on and that is to just stop. Its not something that I want to do so I choose to move forward. I know what my husband wanted for me and that is for me to be happy. There is not a timeline on grieving, you can do it for however long it takes, but ask yourself what you would have wanted for him if it had been you. May you soon find peace in his many memories...............
4/16/2009 4:32:32 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
txcricket46 Hughes Springs, TX 53, joined Apr. 2009	I lost my husband 8 weeks age tomorrow.How can I go on with out him we were married Sept.23 2008 and found out Nov 2008 he had cancer it was already at 4 stage.I never laft his side until the day he died.I still have on my wedding ring on my finger and his on a chain around my neck.I want to go and be with him with all my heart I cry everyday missing him so .I dont want to go on without him
4/16/2009 4:35:30 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
txcricket46 Hughes Springs, TX 53, joined Apr. 2009	he died Feb 28 2009 [Edited 4/16/2009 4:36:10 PM ]
4/16/2009 10:37:18 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
billx Montgomery, AL 58, joined Dec. 2008	I lost my very best friend, my fiance, the absolute love of my life, my live in girl friend of 4 years a month ago. She died suddenly and unexpectedly in her sleep from congestive heart failure. The tears run down my face as I type this. She was only 52 years old. I awoke to find her dead for hours, had died 6 or so hours earlier in my bed. We had plans for the rest of our lives together. Never thought about not being together. Never would have dreamed it. I miss her much. Time helps and heals. Time does not cure, we will always remember those wonderful times and how we wanted all of that to continue and be all of that. We did not get asked, we are just stuck with the cards we are dealt. There is a saying I heard from a friend, 'fake it until you make it'. Think it comes for alanon of something similiar. But it works. Time will help. God gives relief too for the asking. Does not make you quit crying, but allows you to go on. Best wishes.
4/17/2009 12:42:56 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
forever00 Montgomery, AL 62, joined Apr. 2009	I can say that I am truly blessed to have people like you to come into my life. you know how I feel. you know what I am going through. You can always talk to someone who knows just what you are talking about, can feel what you feel. I believe that if we can find people that is going through what we are going through, and not afraid to talk about it, we can help each other to heal. I want to open up my heart again. I want to love again. It is not easy to talk to people because no one wants to hear about a husband,wife,or a live-in love that has passed away. I want you to talk to me, tell me I'll smile again. do you feel what I am saying? I want to light the candles again.
4/24/2009 2:34:48 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
foxylady001 Modesto, CA 68, joined Sep. 2008	It's been seven years since he died. We were married for 33 years. And I know he'd want me to be happy and find someone to take his place. It's not all that easy to do.
4/25/2009 8:07:02 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
tcnurse Scottsburg, IN 62, joined Oct. 2008	One day at a time...if that is too much, I break it up into segments....make plans and follow them so that I don't have so much time alone...volunteering has been my biggest asset. When I am doing for others I don't think about myself so much. But there is still the time alone at night...I am working on that. It helps when I am so tired I just fall asleep, then other times I go to bed with a good book, hugging my old beagle...and always there is noise in the background (a comedic sitcom, usually, that I pop into the CD player) so that when I wake up there is noise in the house. Just some things I do, hope they help. Pray that God holds you close and you feel His love, Thelma.
4/25/2009 9:33:54 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
vanity44 Fort Worth, TX 50, joined Apr. 2009	The one thing I realized after my beloved passed away was, I would never get over losing him, but my strength would eventually pull me thru it...you can never get over the one true love of your life, and should never expect to, you had a bond that will last forever, that should give you a sense of peace after a while, never wallow in it, never dwell on it, just remember how he loved you and how you loved him, how you loved each-other and that will get you thru every time...i lost my love 6 years ago, we had 4 beautiful children....and now two grandchildren....i miss him every day, that never goes away, but the grief is has finally subsided. It takes everyone different paces to go thru the grieving process, and no there is no time line on grief, emotions, love and memories will help that, you just have to know what your feeling is ok, and your not alone, there is someone out there missing and grieving a loved one as well...just remember, always..he is looking down and smiling and he will always love you...and depends on you to go on and live....
4/26/2009 10:29:10 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
passer_by West Jordan, UT 38, joined Jan. 2009	My husband passed away 4 1/2 years ago. We were married for 6 years and together for 10. We had a son together and he has gotten me through some of the worst times. I seemed to be doing pretty good until the last couple of days. It still hurts. It's like a roller coaster ride. I have my good days and my bad. I have had more good than bad but when the bad days come, the pain is almost unbearable. Going to the gym seems to help quit a bit, if I could work up the energy to go. Once I am there I am fine, it's just getting there.
5/1/2009 3:03:28 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
imseddy Dodgeville, WI 52, joined Feb. 2009	Sometimes I feel like I am learning to go on and other times I feel like it isn't worth it without him. It has been 4 years and it seems like such a short time ago. You can only take one day at a time, you will have steps forward and then back many times. I still have them, you still have them at 7 years, and some go on in a year or so. It is ok to love them and miss them and still work on what kind of life you want to lead with them gone. Hang in there. At the end of each day when I lay in my big king sized bed that my husband just had to get, I think of at least one good thing from the day. It really does make facing the next one a lil easier.
5/1/2009 1:36:12 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
weasel81806 Sidney, OH 55, joined Jan. 2009	when i lost me wife 7yrs ago i had to learn how to live again like the one guy said you just take one day at a time the pain never goes awya but you will learn to live with it and there will still be days that are hard to deal with so just take slow and it will be alright you will see for yourself just no that they are with us all the time in are hearts and mind and no one can take that from us ever
5/2/2009 10:31:04 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
terry101069 Fort Lee, NJ 51, joined Apr. 2009	My heart goes out to you. I have been there and it is not easy.Every one has a way of dealing with the loss of a husband, but that loss never goes away. It has been 4 years since the love of my life passed on.I miss him every day and i have joined the gym, make new friends but that gap is not closed.One thing i can say is that remeber the good times you had with him. and try not to be sad.I know you think he is far away but he is looking down on you, so alway be happy.If you don't make yourself happy no one will.Just choose to be happy everything will fall into place.
5/4/2009 10:50:22 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
forever00 Montgomery, AL 62, joined Apr. 2009	I want to thank all of you for your comments. I feel so much better. I believe everything you said came from your heart, I feel that. I wish that I could put my arms around all of you and tell you that I love you. I will never forget this. thanks my friends.rose::
5/4/2009 3:00:23 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
tombleweed Kettle Falls, WA 66, joined Jan. 2009	hiforever. I know its hard girl but keep your eyes up. all will workout. I lost mine 10 yrs ago. I still look for him but it has become eaiser. Keep the faith
5/4/2009 8:51:46 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
widowedbutterfl Tuscumbia, AL 63, joined Mar. 2009	Hi' I lost my husband on the 6th of May one year ago. It's been the hardest thing I think I have ever had to endure. I have not been able to go on yet. It's so fresh in my mind. I want someone to tell me how to go on. The only thing I can say I live on my memories..Sometimes that is not enough. I know that my husband would not want me to grieve forever, but that's had not to do. My husband had a bad heart and he believed he would not live to retire in three years, but he was killed on our motorcycle. It is believed that he was already gone before he made the final stop. I have to believe that to be true.Sheila
5/5/2009 11:14:48 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
tombleweed Kettle Falls, WA 66, joined Jan. 2009	hi forever. Way to go girl. Keep up your spirts up . When God closes a door He will open a window
5/6/2009 7:58:29 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
heritageclasic Dodgeville, WI 66, joined Aug. 2008	Forever00 -- I know your sorrow and can feel your pain, as I lost the love of my life 3 years ago. He was killed in a work-related accident just 2 weeks short of our 37th wedding anniversary. We had so many plans and dreams, and then they were gone. One thing that helped me was that I had my husband's shirts and pants made into quilts (for me, my daughter, granddaughters, mother, and mother-in-law) by two wonderful ladies -- my angels -- and I put my special quilt on my bed every night. It feels like my husband is hugging me and wishing me sweet dreams. I think of my husband every day, but with the help of my friends and family, I am going on. It will never be the same, but I am now able to look forward to the next chapter of my life. I only hope it is as wonderful and happy as the first chapters. Don't be afraid to talk about your husband, as he was an important part of your life. Remember the happy times that you had together. And then a day will come when you decide that you can look forward to tomorrow with a smile. And most importantly, take care of yourself.
5/7/2009 6:28:02 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
sweetlovelyone Zachary, LA 65, joined Dec. 2007	Well said. I lost mine husband 12 years ago and I still think of him at times. But I have moved on. I have talked and dated several men I met on the internet.
5/8/2009 8:30:46 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
limons1 Flint, MI 49, joined Feb. 2009	hi i just wanna say i feel for you i lost my husband as well to cancer june 12 of 08 been really hard more for my kids but there is not a day that goes by that i dont think about him i pray to god to give me and my kids strength to make each day a better one without him its hard but life goes on we will make it.
5/9/2009 11:50:45 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
emamae Laveen, AZ 58, joined Oct. 2008	Just keep breathing dear. It will take time and only you will know how much time it will take. The pain comes in waves and out of nowhere. Treat the pain like a wave of water, keeping your head up to breathe, allow the air to pass through your body and let the pain escape with every exhale. When it is really bad just focus on breathing and not breath holding. I feel so sorry for your loss and the way you are feeling. It takes so long to find a special person and to have found one and lost one in such a short time must be exceedingly painful. My husband passed from cancer in December 2007. It was a long hard-fought battle. You are to be commended for staying by your husband's side. I am sure he appreciated your support. L. Carol Smith 51 y.o.; Phoenix.
5/9/2009 6:37:24 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
coreen1 Carrollton, OH 55, joined Jan. 2009	I lost my husband to lung cancer in 06 and we were together for thirteen years.I left him because of a drinking problem and a couple of months after I left he was diagnosed.I still stood by him through his treatment and was with him when he passed and it is so hard because I feel like the stress of our breakup brought on the cancer.I never stopped loving him and there isnt a day goes by that I dont think about apart of our lives together.I am moving on and trying to find another future but I cant seem to find anyone with his qualities as a man.Without the alcoholism.We had the best relationship without that.Good luck to all of you out there in healing and finding a new direction because it is hard.And as for the lady that hasnt taken off her wedding ring I just took mine off today for the first time.It didnt feel right but I have to if I expect to ever find another love like I had.Sincerely Micky
5/9/2009 8:12:37 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
forever00 Montgomery, AL 62, joined Apr. 2009	that's it. that's why it is so hard for me to move on. I to blame myself myself. I cared for him after he got sick. but when he passed. the day of the funeral his family were so ugly to me. for the first time in my life I saw the devil close up. I am thinking, If I let another man get close to me will I have to go through that again. they were so mean until I did not want to go to the funeral but my pastor to me that I had to go. that is why I will not let a man get close to me. it's so hard to open up.
5/9/2009 10:15:05 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
ms_lowery Cosby, TN 61, joined Mar. 2009	You take it day by day,moment by moment. (I learnt that well as he was fighting cancer) The Best thing that came out of his illness was his decision to accept Jesus Christ,which he did about six months before he died. That gives me great joy and peace,that even though God called him home,he's in heaven. "He made it!"
5/10/2009 11:40:26 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
spunkyone4fun Ocoee, FL 60, joined Feb. 2009	I am new here. I lost my husband of thirty years 4 and a half years ago. It wasnt until about a month ago that I realized that I lived my wedding vows and I wasnt cheating on him. I can do whatever I want now. I am still shy when it comes to dating so that part is still hard. You will always love him. But you have to think of yourself. You will meet again. But you need to live for you. Hope this helps. Oh, by the way, my husband was killed in an auto accident. The guy in the other car was high on coke and hit us head on. I dont remember the accident so that in its self is a god sent. Please let me know how you are doing.
5/13/2009 4:01:34 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
dozey Punta Gorda, FL 67, joined Apr. 2009	Its a living hell. I was married for 42 years, to the love of my life, 3 kids 5 grandchildren, life was great, moved to fla 8 yrs ago so we could be happy in the sunshine. We started our own painting business, ws doing great, working every day, and one sat, night it was all over we were watching tv, he got up to go to restroom come back into living room white as a ghost and i new from the look onhis face he was in trouble, he said call 911, I did and he colapsed over and he was gone that quick, my life will never be the same . I truly dont know how to go on, i only am because my daughter took me in to her home, so I wasnt alone, that night may 31st, ended my life to. I am much better than i was, but i know i will never be that person again. I am lonley, life for me now is helping my daughter with her 2 kids, and pretending life is getting better, and it is to a point, but every night before i go to sleep, i tell him i miss him and love him, only way i truly know how to go on. thanks for listening teressee
5/25/2009 2:24:56 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
marty81556 Buena Vista, VA 59, joined Feb. 2009	hello my husand passed away 8 days after will were married it's been 9 yrs it seems like only yesterday. we were together 17 yrs before we got married i want to move on but it's so hard.
5/25/2009 3:34:52 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
lothlore Greensburg, PA 61, joined Jan. 2009	We had 15 years,going on forever,or so I thought,then cancer took my wife,and that was the end. Yes,it is very devasting,esp. in the beginning,but as so many here have said it "does" get better. There were so many good ideas/thoughts already mentioned that I hesitate to add anything. I will never forget,but I have moved on.I've dated a couple times,and while it was incredibly surreal/unreal the 1st time that I barely remember it,the 2nd time was better,and so on & so on. Our part is to keep living the life God gave us,be grateful for the Love we had,and hopeful that one day there will be a new one. I would suggest that you keep coming here.At least you can be certain that we all Understand exactly how you feel,and it is always ok to talk about it.That really will Help. Hugs and God Bless .
5/26/2009 12:41:14 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
sugar45 Powell, TN 70, joined Apr. 2009	I know exactly how you feel. My fiancee of 18 years passed away in Apr. of 2005. I had a very rough first three years. On the 3rd. anniversary of his death I had to stop and take a look at my life. I knew I had to let him go. His memories will be with me forever. I just sat quietly and thought about what he would want me to do. He was a wonderful, unshelfish man. That is when I decided to join DH. Had no idea how the dating sites worked. Had no knowledge or where to begin. My first day on this site I met a wonderful man from N.C. We are best friends. We have talked every day for about a year. He was a big help to me. He told me my husband would want me to go on with my life and be happy. He told me things I already knew. I guess I just need assurance that what I was doing was ok. Time does heal all wounds. Not a day passes that I don't think about him and think about all the fun days we had. Even though I have moved on with my life he will always be a big part of it. There is really no time set to let him go. Whenever it is time you will know. Hang in there, it does get easier. I have photos of our life together for 18 years and memories galore. God took him from me but the photos and memories will be with me until the day I die. Good luck to you.
5/26/2009 2:12:59 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
dimmi0124 Brooklyn, NY 55, joined May. 2009	I know it is hard I am still going through the same after 9 years.They say it gets easier it does in some ways but in others it doesn't. You miss the hand holding, the hugs n kisses the smiles, the toilet seat up. I know I 'm still their. But all we can do is take one day at a time, I am sure someone will come along and fill that gap of ours' it will be hard no to compare what we had to what we may get. best of luck
5/26/2009 2:16:01 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
peachiecreamie Fruitland Park, FL 56, joined May. 2009	I lost the love of my life seven weeks ago, We'd been together for 35 years, married over 30 years. we lived our whole life with each other. It is so good to talk about it with other people that truly know how you feel. I guess everyone deals differently, I'm probably still in a bit of shock, but the weird part for me is that everyone else seeems to be just going on with their life, I feel like mine has just stopped......I'm on pause...I miss him so much....And yet, the sun still sets every day and comes up every morning.....Sooner or later mabey the play button will be pushed, I know that there is a lesson in everything we go through in this short thing we call life, I'm just trying to find what is to be learned from this. Forever00, I'm so very sorry for your loss, if you want to talk, E-mail me, sometimes I think it's hard for other people to talk about because they are afraid to make me cry, or don't know what to say, so they don't call or come around, but I need to cry and do every day and probably will for the rest of this life. I just keep telling my self I can do this, It's OK, even though I know it's not OK, but I hope that ssome day it Will be OK......
5/28/2009 7:16:06 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
mareluna Newport News, VA 54, joined Mar. 2009	Hi, I am sorry for your loss. It's been 59 weeks for me since Dan died. I miss him, I think I always will. I work at a job that I found about six weeks after he passed away. It's in a place Dan liked to go shopping. It's sort of like a pawn shop. Anyway, I work, I go to a couple bereavement groups. I've made some friends so I hang out with them.I go to Water Country and BG some. I stay busy. I find it hard to relax at home. But I'm getting better at it. It's just one day at a time. It's keep busy. It's meet new people. I have not dated yet. Not sure if I'm into that right now. Just want to get used to my new life right now.
5/28/2009 7:34:39 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
lothlore Greensburg, PA 61, joined Jan. 2009	mareluna,your words reached me on a couple different lvls. First thing i want to say is "well done",for "fighting the good fight" of the pain we all know so well.As to counseling,groups,etc., whatever,I would encourage you to find your own path,it isnt the same for everyone. Just very glad to see you in there fighting back against the "hell" of it-way-to-go ! As to the topic at hand,as has been said,there is no "formula",and,when we wake up each day after the tragedy,not knowing what to do,it is only by the grace of God that we get up out of bed,one foot in front of the other,and let Him carry us through it,even when we dont feel like giving even Him the time-of-day,cause it hurts so bad,but,Our loving Father carry's us,and,no matter how we feel,he takes our broken,battered selves right into the hands of His Love,and one day,after much pain,we find ourselves looking into Father's Face of Love and realize he has been here all along,and is carrying us as always,and,we begin to see we will make it,thanks to Him. The details/circumstances are different for everyone,but that part is the same [Edited 5/28/2009 7:35:43 PM ]
5/30/2009 7:14:49 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
halfpint12345 Hamburg, NJ 72, joined May. 2009	The next year will be very difficult.. My husband will be gone 2 years in Aug. I will be having my first date on Mon. I'm excited because I know he wanted me to go on and enjoy what ever my life brings. For the past year and a half I have been a mess, so it does take a lot of time. If you can find any groups near you, please take advantage of them.
6/5/2009 6:44:23 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
sugar45 Powell, TN 70, joined Apr. 2009	Quote from txcricket46: I lost my husband 8 weeks age tomorrow.How can I go on with out him we were married Sept.23 2008 and found out Nov 2008 he had cancer it was already at 4 stage.I never laft his side until the day he died.I still have on my wedding ring on my finger and his on a chain around my neck.I want to go and be with him with all my heart I cry everyday missing him so .I dont want to go on without him I know how you feel. After loosing my fiancee of 18 years I felt the same way. He also died of cancer five months after his diagnosis. We were not legally married because of reasons out of our control,although we lived together for 18 yrs. as husband and wife. Like you, I stayed by his side and was holding him when he took his last breath.I relive that night, especially on the anniversary of his death. I felt that I just wanted to die. I missed him so much. Finally on the 3rd. anniversary of his death I realized I had to let him go. The grief was just about to destroy me. I put his photos away, changed my ring finger and decided he would want me to go on and live a prosperious life. It was a difficult decission but one I knew I hade to make. He was a very loving and unshelfish man and I know in my heart he would want me to have a wonderful life without him. I think of him often and he will forever be a big part of my life. You just have to stop and think about what he would want for you. I am sure he would want you to move on with your life. It does get easier. Good luck to you and my prayers are with you.
6/7/2009 10:04:36 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
carolinagrl39 Sumter, SC 49, joined May. 2006	it has been 3 yrs for me i still think about him and see him in my son and think about our good times but it takes one day at a time and giving your self time to healand i felt like it was all short lived he should be here to watch his son grow up. who is only 6yrs old.and I still cry sometimes but I am ready to go on with my life no matter what Im here for my son.lots of times after he passed i would look for him to walk on the door and that seems to be something that has gone I think I have expected it somewhat now he is gone. it took lots of praying and asking god to heal my broke heart and it's helped alot just i am stilling healing everyday.
6/24/2009 9:00:49 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
dorval Danville, IL 97, joined May. 2009	I lost my boyfriend of 13 years - he killed himself - he hung himself with a belt in the bathroom - I was devistated. Time by myself, my family, my job, my friends and therapy to get me through his passing worked for me. I think it is just a little more difficult to move forward when the death is violent, a natural death in itself is extremely difficult, but I have experienced both..........suicide is a horrible illness, it leave you asking many questions and feeling responsible. Not easy to lose a loved one, the world stops for just a moment to let us grieve, and then continues with or without us. I chose to continue and finally say goodbye. positive .
6/25/2009 5:42:02 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
autumnnites4me Concord, NC 61, joined Jun. 2009	I lost my husband Dec. 2nd 2007 I thought my world had ended and even the air around me was to hard to breath. I went to see professionals trying to get my life back together. Long story short I gave my life back to Christ and finally I have found peace in my life. Acceptance and understanding. Even forgiveness. I still miss him terrible, tears still do come to my eyes, But peace is what we all need peace within ourselves..... Carol
6/27/2009 1:28:05 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
2ndshifter Danville, IL 58, joined Jun. 2009	I pray that someday I will find peace. It will be 1 yr. in July and I still continue to feel like a empty shell. I get up shower, put on makeup, dress, go to work, and come home each night to fall apart. I miss Richard so bad that it makes my chest hurt at times and I can't breath. He was killed in a semi accident. I couldn't believe it when the coroner came to the door. I guess I thought of him as invincible. We were married 5 1/2 yrs. Not enough time, of course if we had been married 50 yrs. it wouldn't have been enough. I have realized though that I was the luckiest woman in the world to have shared those years with him. He was a wonderful man, and husband. There will never be another that takes my heart as he did. It hurts too much. [Edited 6/27/2009 1:35:16 AM ]
6/27/2009 8:22:25 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
juicyfemale69 Bloomington, IL 53, joined Jun. 2009	Its only been two months that my soulmate has passed...i work during the day and I drink at nite...
6/28/2009 9:36:51 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
dancingqueen64 Eden Prairie, MN 71, joined Feb. 2009	Hello, I'm new to this site but I wanted to say several things. I lost my husband five years ago. Some women pointed out about looking ahead. That seems the easy way out but that is what I did. I have many wonderful memories being married 37 years. But after a year my friends said it is time to get out and live. So I started going to some single dances and it became easier and easier to meet people. I have men so many men and women and traaveled to other countries. Probably wouldn't have done any of these if he were still living. I have had setbacks that were hard because I was alone. Breast cancer twice and finally had a mastectomy. Another thing is don't feel sorry for yourself. Look towards tomorrow. I've always had a great relationship with my kids and I have one son that lives nearby. He is always there for me. Yes you can sit at home and dwell on your lonliness or get out there either with church groups or friends. You still have alot of living to do so do it. Peggy
6/28/2009 10:58:09 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
missingron Dadeville, AL 58, joined May. 2009	Quote from 2ndshifter: I pray that someday I will find peace. It will be 1 yr. in July and I still continue to feel like a empty shell. I get up shower, put on makeup, dress, go to work, and come home each night to fall apart. I miss Richard so bad that it makes my chest hurt at times and I can't breath. He was killed in a semi accident. I couldn't believe it when the coroner came to the door. I guess I thought of him as invincible. We were married 5 1/2 yrs. Not enough time, of course if we had been married 50 yrs. it wouldn't have been enough. I have realized though that I was the luckiest woman in the world to have shared those years with him. He was a wonderful man, and husband. There will never be another that takes my heart as he did. It hurts too much. 2ndshifter, I'm right there with you. It has only been three months since Ron passed and we were only married for five years. He was my third husband and the only one who really loved me without question. I finally got it right and now he is gone. We worked together also, so we were together all the time. I have started going to a singles class at church that has quite a few who have lost spouses and it helps to have those around you who understand, but I still can't believe that I will never be able to have his arms around me again. Hugs to you, missingron
7/6/2009 4:28:57 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
mskittykat52 Elizabeth City, NC 64, joined Jun. 2009	i have yet to learn that. my husband has been dead 3 years Jan.19
7/7/2009 1:39:27 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
th6231 Point Pleasant Beach, NJ 68, joined Jul. 2007	I always say we should "celebrate the life" of a loved one who brought so many nice times to your life. SMILE--They shared everything--they provided--they parttook in our daily activities--they made us mad sometimes---YOU need to relish these times. You can't expect that to go away--you shouldn't expect to ever forget your man. BUT when you think about it--finding another may enter your mind---what you want to do is make sure that they also bring their share of stuff into your life. ..IN THEIR OWN WAY. You aren't trying to compare--you aren't trying to replace--you are just going to see it as sharing your life with a new man--in new ways....without forgetting your other man. Millions do it--and are extremely happy----BUT ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT. Sorry to hear of your loss---its a very tough part of life. But YOU deserve to move on and enjoy YOUR life when the time is right. I offer you all my best with your future decisions.
7/14/2009 1:05:03 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
lovin59 Kimberly, AL 67, joined Aug. 2008	To day is the first anniversary of my wife's passing. I went to her grave site for the first time since her death,talked to her,wrote her a note ,tied it to a balloon and let it go. Hope she gets it. The first year is always the hardest they say. I sure hope so . I couldn't stand it if it got worse. Don't know if you ever get over them. Their memory will always be with you and that's a good thing. Just put them in a special place in your heart and try and live life as best you can.
7/15/2009 11:24:00 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
nutnbutalady Redding, CA 42, joined Jul. 2009	Does life go on after they pass away? I've since remarried only to find out the guy was after what $ he thought I had. I know everyday in my heart I still love the man I lost so many years ago. Life and dating has changed so much since I was younger. I know I'm only 35. But how do you move on? There isn't anyone better then he was. I miss him so much, my life has been incomplete ever since. People say I need to get out, meet new people and move on. It's all easier said then done, wouldn't you say?
7/16/2009 9:51:18 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
harleykindofgal Lodi, CA 61, joined Jul. 2009	I'm Ally I was married 28 years. He passed away 7 years ag0. I know its hard but you move forward with your life. The last words my late husband said to me were, "Don't wait too long to find another man, you're too good of a wife to be left facing this world alone." I feel I've let him down cause I've had to find someone in 7 years. Some people have told me to give up. But I wont give up I'll keep moving on with my life because that what my late husband would want me to do. Have a great and blessed day Ally
7/23/2009 6:38:52 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
tisher56 Tappahannock, VA 60, joined Jul. 2009	i lost my david 7 years ago we were married 24 years cancer took him in less than 2 months my heart breaks everyday that god would take suh a loving husband an father
7/28/2009 6:04:52 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
neveravenue Houston, TX 60, joined Jul. 2009	Tish, it sounds like your anger part is still there. Although you have been experiencing your lost years longer than me (3 wks from 2 years, but seems like a liftime), I went through those periods. That is the stage I found harder to get out of. My sister-in-law bought me a book called 'Widowed' by Dr. Joyce Brothers and it helped me alot. When I thought I was loosing my mind during the rollercoaster of emotions, she showed me what was normal, including being upset with God. The only thing about being upset with God, you don't want to stay there long because he is the giver/taker of life. One thing I did realize is that although it hurt so deeply, I wanted to live. After all, my adult children and grandchildren were dealing with it also and it would have been devasting to loose their mother/grandmother soon after. The hardest thing with me was we had a grandchild not yet born, so she will only know her Poppah through us. She started out looking just like her mother and it seemed like when she got tired of me not holding her (hard for me to celebrate life at that time)her little spirit said 'you are my Nannah and Poppah and will need to love me'. Her facial features seemed to change the next day (or either my eyes opened) and she began to look just like her Poppah. I've been attached to her every since.
7/28/2009 9:14:39 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
sharon65 Hudson, FL 51, joined Jul. 2009	I lost my husband a year ago to cancer. It seems like everyone that knows me tells me how wonderful I am doing. I sold my home in Massachusetts and relocated to Florida. It was a dream my husband and I had were working towards before his passing. So, here I am. Yes, I am moving on. I socialize with the new neighbors, attend church, and do the every day things that we all need to do. I am starting classes next week for my real estate license because that always interested me. However, all these things mean nothing without my husband. It is like I'm just going through the motions and doing all the things that I told will help, all the things my husband and I talked about, following the dreams, etc. But I am realizing that none of it has any meaning. It is like I am hollow inside. During the day I am neither happy or sad - just existing. Nights are really tough, usually crying myself to sleep. We were one and when he was called up to God, half of me went too. I wish I were with him. I honestly believe that is where I belong - no here. However, God has other plans for me, so I'll just keep trucking along. I have been reading the different posts listed on this site. They all have one common message "it will get easier". So I am confident that it will.
7/28/2009 9:22:37 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
lovethelake17 Henderson, NV 57, joined May. 2009	i admire that you went along with the dream you and your husband had of moving to Fl. I think that would be very hard, because you'd keep thinking of what he's missing, and what you're missing without him there. I'm a widow, too, in a new place, and that's what I keep feeling. We had moved here together, but didn't get much time here together. I understand the hollowness. I hope that it gets better for you.
8/12/2009 4:24:15 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
justmewithoutyo Pikeville, KY 63, joined Jun. 2009	hi everyone. my husband and i were married for 39 yrs when he passed. i think you just trust in GOD . I GOT SOME GOOD ADVICE FROM A MINISTER, WHO TOLD ME NOT TO TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME BUT ONE MOMENT AT A TIME. HE SAID THAT ONE DAY AT A TIME WILL OVERWHELM YOU. BREAK IT DOWN INTO MINUTES AND THE TASK DOESNT SEEM AS LARGE. IT WORKS. MY LATE HUSBAND HAS BEEN GONE FOR ALMOST 3 YRS AND IM STILL TAKING IT ONE MINUTE AT A TIME. TAKE BABY STEPS.
8/13/2009 8:37:16 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
dewey57 Chillicothe, OH 58, joined May. 2009	I think everyone has covered it. It's beebn years for me and we were married 21 years. I had to keep working after we found out he had stage 4 lung cancer! He took 2 rounds of radiation and chemo and died 3 weeks after his last chemo treatment. They gave us so much hope at the hospital's cancer dept. and I hate them for it!! I know now that stage 4 is really bad!!! I missed out spending his last days with him because of them. I did spend his last 4 days with him in the hospital but he couldn't talk to me after the first couple of days. I hate our local cancer drs. and the hospital!!
8/17/2009 4:51:01 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
di2981 Norristown, PA 64, joined Mar. 2009	In the beginning, it was unbelieveable. When I saw his name up on his crypt for the first time is when I actually believed it. I remember calling my mother and saying "it really did happen, didn't it?" You realize that there is nothing you can do to change the situation and you go on living. What else can you do? I think about him every day. When something goes wrong around the house, I totally lose it as he was such a handy man. Luckily, I have friends and a son that help.
8/17/2009 5:51:07 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
celinanurse Celina, TX 60, joined Dec. 2008	I lost my husband, 8-21-2008 and you never get over it, but you learn to live without them. They are not selfish on the otherside and want us to be happy. I have chosen to move forward, with an open mind and David in my heart. He passed with Lymphoma. I prayed for 12 months and I got 13 months. I am grateful for the one month. My 18yr old son passed 5 yrs prior, in an accident. They think, that is why he got the Lypmphoma, from grieving. Grieving too much, can cause other health problems. I am staying positive and talking about him helps me cope much better. You find what helps you, but remember, you never get over it. It gets easier and it gets where you can move on, but if you didn't hurt, then they didn't do their job here. Just be happy you knew them, for the time you had. I am so grateful for the 18 yrs with my son and the 25 yrs with my husband. I can't ask for more than that. Be good to yourself.
8/17/2009 6:38:07 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
lovethelake17 Henderson, NV 57, joined May. 2009	If you didn't hurt, they didn't do their job here. I like that. It's comforting. I'm sorry, it can't be easy to lose your son and then your husband. I like what you've said about moving on with him in your heart. That sounds really healthy to me.
8/17/2009 8:51:59 PM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
widowj Custer, MI 56, joined Aug. 2009	Sorry to hear about your loss. It's been just over a year since I lost my husband. He had a hear attack, not any warning at all. what a shock! It makes you realize how short life can be and we have to go on. I know it's tough. I have not been on the dating scene for nearly 30 years. take care
8/18/2009 1:12:21 AM	How do you go on after your husband has passed ?
norcalgma Yuba City, CA 71, joined Aug. 2009	my husband died june 26 2009 we were married 47 years, his hat is on the t.v. his toothbrush in the bathroom, he gave me my 16th birthday party. I can't belive he is gone. I think I an beginning to realise he is not going to walk through the door.I don't know what The Lord want me to do. How do I start over? How do I go on? My live ended with his.

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