| 6/3/2006 2:36:56 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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lustorlove
Holiday, FL
32, joined May. 2006
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Ok u all know my deal and I have been talking to my ex the past couple days and im not gonna get into what happened but i will say that he has realized that he made a big mistake and that he truley and honestly miss me and loves me and the same with our two children and the kids r young enough that they really dont understand what si going on or y there daddy isnt here all they know is that we left for awhile to go visit nana. So i need some input from ya'll it would greatly help me out here on this one esp. u Kat. Well I was with him 4 years and i still love him and i think that i am still In love with him for some strange reason. well all i know is that he wants his family back and he knows that he has to come to Florida for that to happe. Well i look forward to hearing from ya'll asap.
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| 6/3/2006 2:47:04 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
63, joined Apr. 2006
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I truly doubt a leopard can change his spots. But if you know that, it makes a difference, and you can keep the leopard in the cage. This man needs to provide for the children FIRST, and you need to set your heart aside, and accept that premise. Then you go from there.
Good luck!
Krazz
[Edited 6/3/2006 2:47:17 PM ]
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| 6/3/2006 5:35:54 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
51, joined Apr. 2006
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Lust girl........I hate to say this, but I think you should give him the chance to prove that he means what he says. Stipulate that this will be his ONLY chance to do so please, because when your kids are older they will understand and be trained to treat females the way they see their dad doing it. You are a strong sister and you may risk more heartache, but at least you will have said "Oh well, I tried to make it work." Scary, huh? BUT, you must also be strong enough to drop the guy without a backward glance if he screws up on his family again. You have the reigns girl.....make that pony trot properly. Smooches, Kim
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| 6/3/2006 6:12:55 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
63, joined Apr. 2006
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Oooooo a horse racing analogy! Now to add to the analogy. When the trottin' horse has problems keeping on stride, they put some "gear on him" to keep him trottin' (called hopples). The analogy works here too. You need to train "him" with the gear. I go back to the leopard and the spots, but Kat makes some valid points. Don't let your heart get in the way of the "right thing" to do... krazz
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| 6/3/2006 6:55:49 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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turtle86
Bay City, OR
48, joined May. 2006
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I've done this before, the trust is hard to mend & you have to stand your ground sometimes.
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| 6/3/2006 10:41:42 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
51, joined Apr. 2006
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Remind me to stay away from Turtle...........lol Kat
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| 6/3/2006 10:54:04 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
63, joined Apr. 2006
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And I thought you loved Turtle Pie....  Krazz
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| 6/4/2006 1:12:15 AM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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kiddwest
Garden City, KS
54, joined May. 2006
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Lust just follow your heart and your gut instincts, they very seldom lead you wrong. Don't do it just for him or just for the kids. Don't do it because it Seems like the right thing to do. Do it Only if it is what You Want to do!
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| 6/5/2006 10:38:14 AM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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lustorlove
Holiday, FL
32, joined May. 2006
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well ya'll i appriciate what ur sayin and i feel that it is what i want because now that i think about it i really never did stop loving him and i will always love him but believe u me this is the final chance he is given he says that i am the one that he wants to marry and b with forever and all that jazz and he can't believe how stupid he was and he really dont understand why he made just a huge and stupid mistake he says that he should have never let me go. well we shall see in due time he he truly means what he says and turtle the trust thing is a true fact sometimes very hard to mend but there is nothing saying that it cant b done well i will talk to ya'll in a bit.
much love....xoxo
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| 6/5/2006 12:17:06 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
51, joined Apr. 2006
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Once, when I was younger and a bit more blind, I had a husband who always thought the grass was greener (in our neighbor's shorts). I left him and he still - 10 years later, wishes he had me back. NOW says I am the best woman he has ever met.......came to find out that he much preferred mowing the grass at home, but did not realize this incredibly important and highly useful info until the lawn went bad. I could never find trust for him again so I simply stayed on my own. GRASS!!!!! LOL Kat
[Edited 6/5/2006 12:18:29 PM ]
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| 6/5/2006 6:26:33 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
68, joined May. 2006
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There is this odd thing about men. It is called being possessive. We don't like others to have what we use to have. Sometimes we think we want it back, but when we get it back, we find out we ready didn't want it back in the first place. Then we may just leave again. We are a odd lot sometimes and not easy to figure out, even for ourselves.
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| 6/5/2006 8:32:31 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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lustorlove
Holiday, FL
32, joined May. 2006
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Well first chuck i must say that i really dont feel that this is true in this case but on the other hand with what kat had said that is very true and as i stated (i think) earlier i will have too see because my children need a father figure in there lives and i would much rather it b then one in which helped make them. well i will keep u posted he is suposed to b here soon and then i guess i will have to go from there. i have a great feeling about it though.
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| 6/5/2006 9:24:14 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
63, joined Apr. 2006
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It's a tough crowd. We ask advice, we give advice, we are told that is not the right advice, or it is flawed advice.... My advice???? Don't give advice? LOL! Krazz
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| 6/6/2006 9:40:22 AM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
51, joined Apr. 2006
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Your advice is to not give advice? Well then, my advice is to not give advice about not giving advice........lol Neener! LOL Kat
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| 6/6/2006 10:25:01 AM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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lustorlove
Holiday, FL
32, joined May. 2006
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Ok now i didnt say that ur advice was wrong or flawed but hey shit happens and we shall see what happens and that all i have to say about that we are asked for advice and we give it weather the person asking takes it or not is up to them and if u didnt wish to give advice then u would have not responded but there was something that told u too.....lol
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| 6/6/2006 11:38:02 AM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
63, joined Apr. 2006
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???????????????????????????????????????????
???????????????????????????????????????????
???????????????????????????????????????????
I need a drink! rofl! Krazz
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| 6/6/2006 12:46:52 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
51, joined Apr. 2006
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Ok Ok I will take Krazz back! He better be real good this time! LOL
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| 6/6/2006 1:11:59 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
63, joined Apr. 2006
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He'll be EVEN better than last time, but can we not use the trapeze this time? I am still a little "tender" there. LOL! Krazz
[Edited 6/6/2006 1:12:36 PM ]
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| 6/18/2006 7:14:28 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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kiddwest
Garden City, KS
54, joined May. 2006
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Lust I'm a little curious. Did you take him back and if so how's it going?
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| 6/19/2006 10:26:00 AM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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unslightlynorml
Seaside, OR
51, joined Apr. 2006
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I took him back...........behind the shed. He got a whoopin' for bein' naughty......lol Kat
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| 6/21/2006 3:36:25 AM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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lynn53
Hemet, CA
66, joined Apr. 2004
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Just my opinion...Once a snake, always a snake...bury the dead and move on...been there, done it and have the t-shirt! LOL
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| 6/21/2006 7:59:59 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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emtnancy50
New London, WI
62, joined May. 2006
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I agree 100% with Lynn..
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| 7/15/2006 2:37:19 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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shorty1987
Perry, AR
29, joined May. 2006
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if u want him back and he wants yall back then take him back. I would do it if i had kids with my ex but i dont and i still love him even though he cheated on me with a crank head.do it for the kids and u dont let them be like me and not have a dad around cause it will bit you in the butt later when they get old enough to understand what really happened cause it did my mom.
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| 7/15/2006 4:55:18 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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krazz
Whittier, CA
63, joined Apr. 2006
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Shorty? You are so wrong.....
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| 7/16/2006 12:20:54 AM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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lynn53
Hemet, CA
66, joined Apr. 2004
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Shorty, I respect your views...but, speaking from experience as well, there is nothing worse than a home without love between two parents. At eighteen, I was extremely relieved when my parents finally threw in the towel after 35 years of marriage. And they said the marriage was for the kid's sake...not a chance, they made our life hell!
They was miserable, we was miserable and it was nice to see both their lives come together after their divorce and see them happy for the remainer of their life without each other.
IMO, NEVER stay together for the kid's sake...
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| 7/16/2006 4:57:54 AM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
68, joined May. 2006
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I believe that you should make every effort to make a relationship work. Not bail out as soon as the excitement wears off as so many seem to do today.
But to "stay together for the kids" is NOT a good reason. I believed it is use more for control and manipulation by one partner then for the "good of the kids".
As many has voiced, I am another that has experienced parents staying together for the good of the kids, there was nothing good about it. Never buy that excuse to continue a relationship with a unfaithful partner. Sometimes you just have to except it is a lost cause.
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| 7/16/2006 8:37:23 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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emtnancy50
New London, WI
62, joined May. 2006
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I again have lived through parents who were miserable, I gave my dad alot of credit though he stayed when he should have left, my mom was always unhappy. Thank goodness I take after my dad.. A home without love makes for disfunctional children. I told myself I would never be in a relationship where there was no love and affection. But my eyes were opened too late..however, now I have grown and learned from it..dont ever put kids through that. Im a success story but there are so many children including adult children men and women that dont know how to show love because they didnt see it growing up...
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| 7/24/2006 4:54:45 PM |
Ok should I take him back? |
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babyboo3
Evansville, IN
60, joined May. 2006
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lustorlove... if he was cheating? there is one thing you should know. first time phooe on him! second time pooh on you. and it will be! you deserve better! so do the kids! one time forgive! if he is beggingly sorry. second time the map has been made. get out!
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