| 1/25/2008 8:32:58 AM |
What KIND of MAN asks the EX for spousal support?!?! |
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nicksterdemus
Little Rock, AR
age: 50
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Hell Lovin', what 'bout all that character he helped ya build by bein' a bum?
Don't that count fer nuttin? 
[Edited 1/25/2008 8:35:44 AM]
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| 1/25/2008 8:35:54 AM |
What KIND of MAN asks the EX for spousal support?!?! |
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nomad2
Falmouth, KY
age: 60
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| 1/25/2008 8:55:44 AM |
What KIND of MAN asks the EX for spousal support?!?! |
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lasttime4me
Townsend, MT
age: 63
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Divorce is the screwing you get for the screwing you got JMO .
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| 1/25/2008 9:49:04 AM |
What KIND of MAN asks the EX for spousal support?!?! |
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bassman1959
Santa Rosa, CA
age: 49
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Luvin,
I understand how you feel. However, the point I was trying to make to you is sometimes it is best to give them what they want so they will go away. You both worked hard. Nothing is fair. And yes, I am sure you did work a lot harder than he did. But you also have to look at the fact that I responded to you first post. I also admited that I didn't know everything that was going on. You didn't give a whole lot of information.
I am an honest guy. I try to see things for what they are. I see so many guys on here acting like they feel so sorry for all the women on here. But the truth is......a lot of these guys are or were just like your ex is being to you. I'm not like that.
Sometimes it is best to pay someone off instead of fighting them in court. A LOT cheaper in many cases too.
Hire a good lawyer.... and if he still wants alimony agree to pay for his health insurance but nothing more. If you do that he will most likely agree and not push for anything else. He probably doesn't have his own health insurance, Right? When and if he gets married again that will stop. The only real winners in divorce are the lawyers. So, why line their pockets? If you have custody of the kids you won't have to pay child support, correct?
And most likley he won't get awarded alimony anyway.
He just wants to get back at you.
And I won't even comment on what that young pup said about me.
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| 1/25/2008 10:31:49 AM |
What KIND of MAN asks the EX for spousal support?!?! |
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yedjh
Syracuse, NY
age: 37
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I should just not say anything, but can't controll myself.
Divorce is ugly and hard on both sides. Two people spend many years building and living a life together and one day thats all over. Now you have two people that feel jilted and want thier fair share of that life they built.
Try to keep in mind this is a painful process for both of you and each party is expressing thier pain in which ever way they think they will hurt the other. Now it has become a game of who sticks it to whom and who gets the last laugh.
Well there is nothing funny about it.
When all is said and done the children involved are the only ones you should be concerned about. Please do them a favor and no matter how wrong or bad you feel the other parent is, don't belittle in front of the children. Regardless of who or what kind of parent you are your children will love you no matter what. Be kind to the children that love you both.
I have been divorced for 6 years. We fought over everything for over a year and in the end we split everything down the middle-debt-equity-joint custody. In the end we both just wanted what was best for the children. We are friends now. It took a couple years, but we both can see the reasons we married to begin with. He didn't marry a b*tch and I didn't marry an asshole. I married a decent good man with human flaws and he married a decent good women with human flaws. Our kids are good kids and we work together to help make their lives good ones.
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| 1/25/2008 1:45:15 PM |
What KIND of MAN asks the EX for spousal support?!?! |
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luvinlifetothem
Biddeford, ME
age: 41
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Yed, one of my biggest concerns about this is that my kids have suffered a great deal of emotional abuse due to this man. He put us all through hell. NOT ONCE have I badmouthed him. The most I could say is Daddy is very sick, he got hurt and his medicine made him sick. How do you explain to a five year old that his dad is high on oxycodone and drunk as hell? And he did badmouth me, horribly, to both kids...my oldest understands..he says, thats not my real papa...I want my real papa back. My youngest, is just confused, hurt and angry. All he know is that he loves us both. My biggest concern is my children. I even bought presents for them and lied and said they were from him. And they were so happy. So it was worth it. and if you think its easy biting your tongue when they want to talk about papa and this and that...NOPE..it isnt...but I will not cause my kids any more emotional harm then has already been done. We see a counselor and a behavoiral specialist twice a week to help deal with this, my oldest has aspergers syndrome so that makes it even harder.
So yeah, I am dealing the best I can, and yes, my kids are more important than my anger at his physical and emotional abuse...no matter how much it kills me I will NOT tell them that their father is a loser. They will find that out later in life for their very own selfs. For now...kids need their father. Even if its just the thought of him.
We bought "dinasour divorce" and have been reading it every night...its pretty good.
To answer my own question, the kind of man that does what he has is not living in the real world.
I guess leaving out the fact that he beat me up on christmas day in front of both boys was a problem..sorry about that...also and the fact that he was fired in october of last year and refused to contribute a penny since then...my bad.
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| 1/25/2008 1:46:59 PM |
What KIND of MAN asks the EX for spousal support?!?! |
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lynn456
Martinsburg, WV
age: 39
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my state no longer has alimony.
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| 1/25/2008 2:49:35 PM |
What KIND of MAN asks the EX for spousal support?!?! |
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bassman1959
Santa Rosa, CA
age: 49
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Luvin,
Sounds like you are doing the right thing for your kids. It also sounds like your ex is a real sick man. I know what it's like to be married to someone with mental problems. It's not fun at all.
But if it's proven that he has mental problems and he isn't just a jerk.....that could cause you a lot more problems and you might just end up paying alimony.
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| 1/25/2008 3:41:12 PM |
What KIND of MAN asks the EX for spousal support?!?! |
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landing007
Palmyra, NY
age: 55
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Luvin -
Your obviously venting for good reason. You have worked hard for what your doing now. I have several members of my family that are RN's. Not having a crystal ball - but I bet in one year, all this pain you are going thru now will be a distant memory. People get really angry when things break apart. Your tough and will make it through.
As a side note: my brother has been and out of the Biddeford hospital with cancer surgery and the RN's there took real good care of him.
thanks
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| 1/25/2008 8:29:04 PM |
What KIND of MAN asks the EX for spousal support?!?! |
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yedjh
Syracuse, NY
age: 37
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Luvin,
Your a tough one and you and the kids will be just fine I hope someday. I know where your coming from and am expirenced with Aspergers Syndrome. I was not judging you only trying to ease the pain you are obviously feeling. Try not to jump to conclusions about others. As with the internet no one really knows one another. I have felt your pain and wished I had been able to spare my own children some of thier pain as with my eleven year old dialing 911 because mom is in the air and I don't think she can breath he won't let go of her. Some memories will always be very pain full and I do feel for you. I was not judging you.
[Edited 1/25/2008 8:30:07 PM]
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| 1/25/2008 8:42:38 PM |
What KIND of MAN asks the EX for spousal support?!?! |
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dragan
Clinton Township, MI
age: 39
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The only thing a guy who beats a lady should get is jail time so he can have some new friends who will treat him like he treated you.
People say there is no honor among thieves, However, there are certain things that when someone goes to jail for, even the crimals think it not acceptable, Hurting childen and beating on your wife are among two of them.
I don't know the entire story but in most states, not sure about all. Since you have the kids, Tell him you want Child Support. The judge should decide about the spousal support. The best advice would be talk to your lawyer and when it comes down to it, let the judge know the truth about what happened to you and your kids.
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| 1/25/2008 9:17:27 PM |
What KIND of MAN asks the EX for spousal support?!?! |
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bamabob
Cullman, AL
age: 55
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The topic is "What kind of man asks the Ex for spousal support?" All kinds of other stuff has been thrown in here that have nothing to do with the question. Personally, I see absolutely nothing wrong with a man asking for spousal support. Nowadays women commonly make as much or more than men in many households and how they got there has little to do with it. As for all the other things he did and how hard you worked... you worked and paid the price to attain your goal. Had you stayed at home and dumped the whole load on him then you'd be asking for alimony and adding even more burden to him...and probably have a good chance of getting alimony. Considering all the information provided I'd say it's very unlikely he'll get anything except the satisfaction of aggravating you. If you let it get to you and be a problem then you'll suffer far more than if you just sit back and take it on as just another task and follow the rules, play the game, and go along with the program as if it's no big deal...just another thing.... life sucks but we still play in it.
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| 1/26/2008 7:47:09 AM |
What KIND of MAN asks the EX for spousal support?!?! |
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luvinlifetothem
Biddeford, ME
age: 41
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Thanks everybody for your feedback and support..yed, no prob..bassman, you too...thanks..
Yeah, guess I should have made the title,
""what kind of man (after everything he has put us through read below for more info) asks for spousal support?""
Nik..LMAO..yeah, sure, I appreciate the character he 'helped' me build...
Areis..Oh yeah baby, hes going to get a battle royale...You bet your booty!
But sometimes venting prevents full thoughts, just needed to vent, and get feedback, and I did, and it helped, and I thank everyone.
   
Peace and Love Everyone!
Luvin
Now Im going to a hotel with a pool and we are going to take the kids to jokers and rest relax and pamper for two whole days!!! WHOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
So....See everybody later!
[Edited 1/26/2008 7:53:08 AM]
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| 1/26/2008 8:05:57 AM |
What KIND of MAN asks the EX for spousal support?!?! |
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jane_133
Frederick, MD
age: 48
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good point Bama.
Someone who asks for spousal support is someone who BELIEVES they are either likely to get it or entitled to it. And all the rest is just everyone's feeling about how true that is and how much they deserve it based on the past.
Good luck to you on the legal battles. When all the fighting and paying people off is over, I hope you feel that the ex is in the kids lives as much as he SHOULD be and does what he ought to, but he's not in YOUR life more than you want him to be. That will make the how the money works out feel right when the majority of it is over. Meanwhile, cover your bases. Love your kids. Love the rest of your family. Hang on to your friends. Take care of yourself, what you have and hope to keep. It's worth it. You are here. You probably believe in love, marriage and a partner who wants you and what you want in life. You have the best part yet to come if you believe it.
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| 1/26/2008 8:07:28 AM |
What KIND of MAN asks the EX for spousal support?!?! |
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professer2
Saint Petersburg, FL
age: 53
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A man that gots three kids,
whats good for the Goose,
is good for the gander
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