Pole, if I ever believe all men are the same, shoot me and put me out of my misery.

Pole, if I ever believe all men are the same, shoot me and put me out of my misery.

I might be leery if I sense there may be an ulterior motive.

Ever heard of "Feminine Wiles"?

Yeah......those.

By my age, most men have been 'seduced' at least once in their lives for nothing more than free drinks.

Or to fix a broken lawnmover.

Or to move a couch (not in the good way).

So, I'm not untrusting, I just realize that women have been using their sexuality to get what they want (w/out any intention of following up on what is implied by doing so) ever since Uggina wanted new straw for her cave floor.

Sure, that curvy, well-spoken hottie w/ the bedroom eyes just might actually desire to date you romantically.....or she may want a nice meal & her tires rotated.

Again, not in a good way.

Now that easy sex is so available, some women are having to deal w/ the backlash of their sisters overuse of that particular weapon in the war between the sexes. If you are young & gorgeous, it will still work pretty well on a lot of men.....as you become less so, those tactics will rapidly become less efficient w/ the kind of men you actually want to attract.

So, if seduction can be seen as a bit of a red flag, would you prefer pursuit? Would you rather a woman state, "I really like you, and I'd like to see where this would go?"

Or would that send you running the opposite direction?

It's not a red flag, per se...I'm just not going to fully swallow the bait until I know it's a legit offer. Which usually only takes a 1/2 hour of conversation. Not a big deal. My current GF and most recent Ex both did the seducing in the early stages....one by asking me out on a Date (made it clear it was a date) & the other by kissing the bajezzus outta me, right out of the blue. Both worked well...

Most secure men will not be put off by a direct statement of intent. Personally, I find it refreshing & will always respond in kind: straight up & direct.

Of course, it may not be the answer she was hoping for, but I will be kind in my response. It certainly isn't cause for flight if I am actually attracted to the lady in question...

I know this doesn't apply to you or Cin, but many women seem to want a way to unmistakably show a man they are interested AND remain emotionally safe @ the same time.

Not sure if that exists...

Why do you have to make me think so much? LOL How do you let someone know you are interested and remain emotionally safe? Is that like sending mixed signals?

And, I think you may be correct a secure, emotionally healthy man would run with it if, and this is a big if, he were honest with himself about his feelings and intent.

Good point, Grey.

Do you think ego bruising is easier to take than heart bruising?

Except I wonder at what point the heart starts to engage.

Yes sir and the wife store one.

Next time someone asks me why I am still single, I am going to say because I want a man who is passionate AND secure.

we are passionate and secure...
most of us at my age are just tired of being USED is all.
you can claim its seductive but its you using your assets at my expense and who in their right mind wants that bullshit...seriously..

Thus, why I'm single. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I think I'm going to start hanging out at divorce court and catch those elusive ones before the ink dries on their divorce papers.


rlm, we are going to spar this morning. If you have been used, it is because you have allowed users into your life.

Just like me. If my frustrations come from allowing passionate, broken men into my life, it is because I have allowed it.

So, if seduction can be seen as a bit of a red flag, would you prefer pursuit? Would you rather a woman state, "I really like you, and I'd like to see where this would go?"

Or would that send you running the opposite direction?

DUH, that's cuz you are a man, you are seeing other men from the outside looking in. That's easy.

I don't lose interest period when a woman does nice things to me verbally, physically, or by actions. I gain interest.

I only lose interest when a woman thinks she can wear the pants with me

I only lose interest if a woman is b*tchy and has bad attitudes, manipulative, or deceitful.

Anything positive a woman does that makes me happy, feel good inside, to include making me horny, I'm all for it.

DISCLAIMER: BESTMAN opinion...

when i flip a credit card and say have fun in Vegas and its just her and her lady friends what i am actually saying IS have fun but try not to max my limit damnit. not sure about anyone else but i feel safe and secure and passionate she has my best interest in mind even if i gave her extra rope to boink me in tha ass. NOW, when im working with women who have been abused and raped and im in there to help them...THEN get off your a** about me being around women looking for men. they were just raped or escaped an abusive husband. they arent looking at men right now they hate men. its a 2 way street people so get off your high horses who think your above and beyond the realm of f**king reality.

Ummmmmm, you know that a black Amex has no limit don't you? Just saying.

Would that that were true for all men. I've dated enough to know that not all men are as secure as you're saying here. Quite a few of them held on to things and would bring them up later...to my complete perplexedness. Usually it was the things they did for me, as if they were keeping some kind of score sheet. According to them, all the tick marks were on their side of the column. Or it would be some argument I thought was resolved. It usually left me feeling as if I could not win no matter what I said or did.


And as for the life in the jungle thing...how many of those in the Wild Kingdom mate for life? I know some do, but others are only together for the rutting.

cheap men and those new generation of bugs-eater women.