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Forums: Relationships: Does telling a lie hurts more then the truth in a relationship?
2/24/2008 8:26:05 AM Does telling a lie hurts more then the truth in a relationship?  

countrydancer32
Chicago, IL
age: 32

 I'm sorry thenew, I have 3 kids and I can ask them anything and they tell me even if they know they will be in trouble. I know this won't last through their teenage years, but I think it has become a part of who my kids are. Example: to my four year old Jack, "Did you hit your sister?" His response, "I sure did, she was being mean to me." Now he knows what is about to happen next, but he mans up to the consequence and when he is done with his punishment apologizes to his sis. Ya, maybe I successfully taught them that it is better to be honest with unpleasant consequences than to get caught in a lie, but I like to think it had nothing to do with me and that they are just genuinely awesome kids.

As for me, well, I'm honest with my friends and significant others too a fault. I don't like to leave any room for mistrust or suspicion. If you get to know me, you just have to take the bad along with it.

Now, as for the original question. Should you forgive them? yes. Someone can say in the most sarcastic crappy voice, "I'm sorry", and I'm done being mad. Do I forget? Nope. How much I choose to have them in my life after that depends on what we liked to do for fun and how much we had in common that couldn't be lied about, as well as how sincere and forthcoming they were with the truth and their remorse over having lied to me, but most importantly their reason. I want to see the train of thought that happened before the derailment and envision for myself if I think that is an innate part of who they are or something that is maleable.
2/24/2008 11:35:53 AM Does telling a lie hurts more then the truth in a relationship?  

2smart
Cherry Hill, NJ
age: 32

 Countrydancer,
you are one hell of a lovable woman
2/24/2008 11:48:46 AM Does telling a lie hurts more then the truth in a relationship?  

nab5055
Medford, NJ
age: 43

 I would rather be hurt 100 times by the truth than have someone lie to me.
2/24/2008 11:55:34 AM Does telling a lie hurts more then the truth in a relationship?  

daddyduck
Splendora, TX
age: 54

 A lie will always come back to haunt you, the truth no matter how it hurts you can get over, it's one mistake, but a lie is two mistakes already and will continue until the truth shows a light on it, by that time it's usually too late. You can throw a brick through a window, go get it, and throw it back through, but the window is still broken.
2/24/2008 4:40:15 PM Does telling a lie hurts more then the truth in a relationship?  

thenewb
North Myrtle Beach, SC
age: 32

 I stand corrected.. maybe there are some ppl out there that have never told a lie? never exaggerated, never manipulated the facts in their favor... hmmm
2/24/2008 4:42:45 PM Does telling a lie hurts more then the truth in a relationship?  

57rickie
Sioux Falls, SD
age: 57

 If you have been told a Lie, whatever it is, then obviously this person is not the right one for you....white lies, yeah somtimes, but out and out Lies
2/24/2008 4:46:13 PM Does telling a lie hurts more then the truth in a relationship?  

tallestdiva
Flint, MI
age: 32

 I would rather be hurt bt the truth than a lie anyday.
half truths are even worse than a lie.
2/24/2008 4:53:31 PM Does telling a lie hurts more then the truth in a relationship?  

ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!

 To answer the OP's question, Yes a lie hurts more. No matter what your reasoning is to actually lie, it's basically a defense mechanism you've honed when you were a child. It's usually being afraid of meeting someone's expectations is how we learn to be dishonest.
A lie won't hurt the one being lied to, it's hurts the liar in the long run. You are actually handing that person the means to destroy you (well your ego). Once they find out that you lied, they get angry at you and then their viewpoint changes toward you. Will they ever trust you again?

Ugh addled thoughts



[Edited 2/25/2008 8:32:14 AM]
2/24/2008 4:56:20 PM Does telling a lie hurts more then the truth in a relationship?  

liteguy
Scranton, PA
age: 50

 The truth always . A lie will always come back and bite u on the ass !
2/24/2008 4:57:17 PM Does telling a lie hurts more then the truth in a relationship?  

seeker379
Dallas, TX
age: 71

 " Y e s"
2/24/2008 4:58:02 PM Does telling a lie hurts more then the truth in a relationship?  

57rickie
Sioux Falls, SD
age: 57

 Lets here a Chorus of Applause for the TRUTH
2/25/2008 7:40:16 AM Does telling a lie hurts more then the truth in a relationship?  

wisegirl33
Queensland
Australia
age: 43

 George,

You wrote..." One they find out they lied, they get angry at you and then their viewpoint changes toward you. Will they ever trust you again?"

Don't you mean to say above..."Once they find out that (you) lied...they get angry at you and then their veiwpoint changes towards you. Will they ever trust again ?"

Correct me if I am wrong - but don't you mean, replace the word, (they) with (you) ?

Otherwise, if you didn't make a written error, you have kind of inverted the meaning of "the liar will be the one who will suffer".

** Please don't see this as some kind of a personal attack here, but I just read through that sentence and I am not certain with regard to what you are trying to say.

I have never trusted people after I have found out that they have lied to me on issues that matter the most. Small white lies like, "I like your haircut" (when they really don't), are not as bad as ...the really large lies, for example.

Best wishes.

wisegirl33 Sent on the 26thFeb 2008 at 141am Aest
2/25/2008 8:30:14 AM Does telling a lie hurts more then the truth in a relationship?  

ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!

 Yep what Wisegirl said

2/25/2008 8:40:33 AM Does telling a lie hurts more then the truth in a relationship?  

mindyb
Bloomington, IL
age: 42 online now!
If she can't handle the truth then she is not a woman now is she!!! Do you really want the baggage that come with a little girl??? Guy's who lie are insecure, they are affraid the woman willleave, if you hooked up with a woman who leaves on the first offense even second offense and has a bigass hissy instead of listening to where your coming from...thats not a real woman. I am not saying people should do whatever their groins tell them to and should be forgiven and kissed and hugged and made love to after by their loved one....i am saying how f*cking imature to not be able to sit down and talk like two grown adults and find out why made a person do something that they would feel the need to even consider lying. Guys get the right girl the first time so you dont lie!!! For that matter ladies too, right guy, no lying to him.



[Edited 2/25/2008 8:53:16 AM]
2/25/2008 8:42:17 AM Does telling a lie hurts more then the truth in a relationship?  

adelinesmother
Fremont, NE
age: 37 online now!

 My opinon: Truth is the way to go. Once there are lies...i personally am done. Its about respect. Respect the person that is in love with you.

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