| 2/15/2014 3:46:24 PM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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checkersjess
Portland, OR
28, joined Jan. 2014
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Love a man in uniform!
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| 2/16/2014 6:15:50 AM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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karrpilot
Oswego, IL
53, joined Jul. 2009
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You wouldn't if you saw my uniform at the end of the day. Kind of hard to stay clean working on loaders, excavators, box trucks, stake bodies, and tandem axle snow plow trucks.
But if you like the smell of diesel, come on over. 
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| 2/16/2014 7:35:31 AM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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jrbogie1949
Ventura, CA
68, joined Mar. 2009
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after all these decades all i still have are my flight helmet, flying gloves and jungle boots. will that work? 
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| 2/16/2014 5:32:12 PM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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deneez
Rochester, MI
57, joined Apr. 2012
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they are all in treatment for PTSD. just kidding. good luck.
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| 2/16/2014 8:54:22 PM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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tileman1814
Kalispell, MT
66, joined Nov. 2007
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My Dress Blues from 1970 don't fit anymore.
Semper Fi !!!
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| 2/26/2014 6:03:04 AM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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dsaep
Oakland, CA
31, joined Nov. 2013
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We are all hurrying up to wait, standing by for standby, while arriving 15 minutes prior for the 15 minute prior.
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| 2/28/2014 11:49:41 PM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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d_voted
Winnipeg, MB
64, joined Sep. 2008
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they are all in treatment for PTSD. just kidding. good luck.
Don't discourage her Denny.
By the way - is there a treatment for PTSD? <<< serious
I don't think there is - just peer support groups that are limited to military veterans for which I don't qualify.
I suspect the young lady that started this post is really looking for a guy who will stand for something. There is a saying, "If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything."
Good for you young lady. When you know precisely what YOU stand for it will narrow the field for you and the uniform is just cloth. The man in it has to stand for the same things as you do.
D
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| 3/3/2014 2:13:44 PM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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deneez
Rochester, MI
57, joined Apr. 2012
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Don't discourage her Denny.
Never! As a matter of fact perhaps I could even be of some encouraging help.
As of late I have been reading quite a bit about horses for an adventure that is coming my way. Don't laugh. It is true I am 1/2 crazy but the following may be of some help with your most recent thread in man's land for which I for one will not venture into. I see no reason this could not be equated to your dilemma because it deals with fear:
What a horse needs to hear and see from it?s leader is the same thing we want from our horse. They want and need calm, focused and good direction. They need to know what to expect from us and to know we are consistent and fair. Horses find comfort and confidence in routine or in knowing what is going to happen before it happens. They need to develop habits and we help them get this by being consistent and always ready to help. We destroy this when we are scared, not focused, worried, unsure, guessing or trying and failing. The latter teaches the horse to see in us what we try and hide.
Being comfortable around horses is very important. Horses are always watching and learning so seeing you being comfortable and feeling safe sends a good message. If they see you as fearful, jumpy and always pushing them out of your space, they learn that you cannot be trusted and then they cannot be comfortable or feel safe around you. Remember: A horse is a reflection of you; they give back what they get.
I think fear causes people to be too aggressive sometime. Like the saying, make the wrong thing hard and right thing easy. Some may confuse making something hard is the same as punishment. This is a bad mistake. Punishment of a horse does not work and normally only destroys the relationship and makes the horse do behavior that is more dangerous. When thinking of making the wrong answer hard, think is more open terms helping the horse find all the wrong or undesirable answers, so you can help the horse find the more correct or right answer. By keeping pressure, making the horse uncomfortable you make the horse try things to find release of pressure. As the horse is looking for release, if you are doing it right, he will find the right answer and if your timing is right, you will release pressure so the horse understands what the right answer is. Too many just chase the crap out of horse and think that is showing the horse who is boss and that is making the wrong answers hard. That is only one part, the other part is helping and leading and showing the horse the right answer so you can release pressure and the horse can learn what the right answer is to get the pressure released or stopped.
Most people cannot do this in a round pen or on a lung line. If you are competent on the ground then you can transfer that competence when you are in the saddle. Everything in horsemanship is interconnected. You may think you can compartmentalize things but the horse knows. That is why trainers and gimmicks do not work. People wanting you to buy their videos of special equipment want you to think you can get success with a special soft rope. The soft rope is just one part of the equation. Knowing how to be soft, knowing how the rope moves, feel, timing, rhythm, release, not being too fast with the rope, not hurting the horse with the rope, not accidentally hitting the horse in the eye or ear with the rope, all of this is what makes the special soft rope work. Since all of this takes time, experience, failure, good horses teaching over the years and understanding of the horse, the special rope is just another rope. Of course if I tell you this I can?t get you chasing success by paying 69 bucks for a 12 dollar rope. The slow way is the fast way with horses. 
Your inability to be comfortable around horses sends off powerful negative and non-trusting emotions and I think horses know this and can feel this, much like people can tell if they are being stared at. If you get scared of a bee and panic, swat and run, the horse can?t reason why you did it, it just sees what you are doing. It shows weakness, it shows lack of confidence, and it shows fear. If you step in a mud puddle and get mud on your pretty pink shoes and you get upset, mad, and angry or focus on your so called problem, all the negative energy, actions, reactions and behavior will send powerful messages to your horse. The more this is done the clearer the message becomes to the horse.
You're a smart guy.
You'll figure it out!
Best of luck to you.
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| 3/21/2014 3:07:09 AM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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d_voted
Winnipeg, MB
64, joined Sep. 2008
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I guess the first order of business is to not step in mud puddles with my pink shoes.
Thanks for the tip.
Confidence coupled with a gentle manner is indispensable in creating a safe environment for others. It doesn't seem to work when one is asleep. The nightmares continue.
No amount of 'reasoning' I know of decreases either the frequency or intensity of them.
Best one can do is learn to accept them.
D
Thanks for the advice about the pink shoes. 
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| 3/21/2014 7:32:31 AM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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deneez
Rochester, MI
57, joined Apr. 2012
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The rule of thumb is one half your age, then add seven. It appears to be the acceptable age for dating or companionship per etiquette acceptability. I would almost guarantee that a man made this rule though,  FYI.
I don't consider myself unique in saying I'm the type much more upset when my everyday brown worn tried and true shoe boots get muddied. Darn!!!!! You know, the comfortable ones! It takes time to get the feel of these again.
Speaking of 'comfort' I'll stay with the horses right now.
They respond to my efforts positively, they are forgiving of my mistakes, and it alleviates the fear for myself.
BUT, I did need advice and good council to get to this point.
It may happen for you yet D., and those nightmare's will become your wildest dreams.
Night mares, "mares"...get it???
Again, good luck,
Denny
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| 3/21/2014 6:48:47 PM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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d_voted
Winnipeg, MB
64, joined Sep. 2008
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I have conjured up a different formula:
Take your age and divide by ten.
In my case 60 divided by 10 is six.
Subtract (or add) that to your age. It gives one a quite comfortable range of 54 to 67.
For the next ten years difference each year is worth two:
Someone who is 53 or 68 is the ten plus two = 12
Someone who is 52 or 69 is the ten plus four = 14
Someone who is 51 or 70 is the ten plus six = 16
Someone who is 50 or 71 is the ten plus eight = 18
Someone who is 49 or 72 is the ten plus ten = 20
In this range the comfort level drops significantly to perhaps 50% of optimum
Once you reach the differential of 20 either way you add three for each year:
Therefore:
Someone who is either 48 or 73 add three to the existing total = 23
Someone who is either 47 or 74 add three to the existing total = 26
Someone who is either 46 or 75 add three to the existing total = 29
Someone who is either 45 or 76 add three to the existing total = 32
Someone who is either 44 or 77 add three to the existing total = 35
Now we are in the range of perhaps 10%
Rating the other person on other characteristics using the higher the number the less reasonable the match is added into some kind of scoring mechanism.
Each person has to determine what it is they find as HIGH priority issues and rate the numbers accordingly.
For example:
Humor:
Great and kind = 0
Dry or crass = 2
Vulgar / Sexist or Racist = 8
Intelligence:
Highly intelligent = 0
Average intelligence = 5
Dumb as a post = 10
Education:
University or College = 0
High School = 5
Did not finish high school = 10
Job Security;
Held the same job for long time = 0
Had two or three jobs in ten years = 3
Had more than four jobs in ten years = 8
No visible track record of work = 20
Make up your own rating scale.
The higher the numbers added up the less viable the relationship will be.
It sounds kind of 'clinical' but if one is looking for a companion with similar values then identifying your own and rating them according to your own tolerance level might not be such a bad idea.
If the person scores a VERY low score I suspect the romance would be heightened not diminished by this culling of the herd. 
D
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| 3/22/2014 8:53:09 AM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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deneez
Rochester, MI
57, joined Apr. 2012
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I think the OP is allowing us some lead way for a bit of fun, so I'll thank her, she has been gracious with our horsing around.
Before pulling in the reigns I'd like to comment on the scale based on character, education and the like. It could be individualized for what is truly important for us but a funny scenario comes to mind.
Let's say he/she is highly educated, never 'really' worked a day in his/her life, is dumb as a post in relating to 'the real world' so is low on the empathy scale, just cannot relate....
Now the horse who has had the best training, accepts a saddle well, is easily cued, 3 on their temperament scale, and just outright fun.... still comes out ahead.
Oh well. I'm not in it for the race nor the money. So, I guess I'll enjoy the ride. Why not? I actually enjoy the effort I'm putting into it. Actually, I'm getting to the point I can not wait!<<<<
edited for "to be with the horse"
[Edited 3/22/2014 8:54:05 AM ]
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| 6/12/2014 9:42:06 PM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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emeraldxx2973
Carlinville, IL
44, joined Apr. 2014
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Men in uniform ... nomatter what uniform ... are sexy... also a man in a suit
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| 7/10/2014 1:41:19 PM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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irishgirlyokc
Oklahoma City, OK
25, joined Jun. 2014
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A guy in a milatary unifrom or in a suit is a turn on ??
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| 7/11/2014 8:40:18 PM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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yaya1omatic
Bakersfield, CA
27, joined Jun. 2014
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Love a man in uniform!
oh yeah.. wink wink
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| 7/11/2014 10:51:28 PM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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higgins12199
Twentynine Palms, CA
23, joined Jun. 2013
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Marine
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| 7/12/2014 10:24:03 PM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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islandia8_3
Olympia, WA
52, joined Jun. 2014
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Half of them on DH are a bunch of scammers who steal innocent US Military guys pics and create profiles here. I am sick and tired of them saying they graduated from some US reputable Uni and are on contract as engineers in Africa--and have lost their wives to either cancer or a vehicle crash, and are raising a child alone. It is an absolute disgrace to the real US serviceman.
These Nigerian scammers should be tracked down and locked up.
Yeah yeah they are always stuck in some foreign land and need to get back urgently. They prey on unattractive homely/overweight and naive women who actually send them money - then the duped women go on the scammers threads and complain.
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| 7/23/2014 10:17:00 PM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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dream82007
Cheyenne, WY
36, joined Aug. 2013
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Oh yes luv men in uniform
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| 7/24/2014 11:21:54 PM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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hockey815
New York, NY
28, joined May. 2013
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Badge bunnies! Nice!
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| 7/27/2014 3:08:27 AM |
Where are all the men in uniform? |
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scrumptacious
Starkville, MS
27, joined Mar. 2014
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Marine
THANKS FOR WHAT YOU DO!
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