| 4/4/2017 10:01:35 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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evajoy
Reston, VA
61, joined May. 2012
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would you consider someone to be your friend if they told you you would never be welcome to stay at their house EVER? And then told you that nobody would want you to ever stay with them...
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| 4/4/2017 10:04:20 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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kraven_morehed
Greenwood, LA
96, joined Jul. 2014
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| 4/4/2017 10:34:07 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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evajoy
Reston, VA
61, joined May. 2012
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 I can ask anything I want..and I like to hear different opinions, 
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| 4/4/2017 11:15:56 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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sdakotasky
Harrisburg, PA
68, joined Jun. 2014
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I think what he was saying is why would you even consider someone like that a friend? You already know the answer to that.
Though it may be hard, it is time to dump that person from your life.
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| 4/4/2017 11:20:34 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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evajoy
Reston, VA
61, joined May. 2012
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i have what I thought to be very good friends until last week when my friend said those things to me, even tho i love them and want to stay friends, I just cant
tomorrow is their birthday, we have been friends for almost 50 years, i make my friends birthday cake each year and make them dinner..its hard NOT to
I am not mad, I am just hurt
guess they were not really my friend
it hurts
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| 4/4/2017 11:25:03 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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dmc0115
Cleveland, OH
61, joined Oct. 2012
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I'm sorry you have to go through that and I know it hurts. Maybe if you stay away for a while, she will realize just how cruel she was to you and apologize. 50 years is a long time but it sounds like being a friend was one sided.
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| 4/5/2017 2:18:54 AM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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stratus55
Jackson, GA
52, joined Jan. 2017
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people are supposed to forgive,but after that id stay away from those who for there own reason,or whatever dont like me or want me around,i have been there,an very misunderstood on here,an very liked also..people are thesame,yet there different..i wont be or interject where im not liked.......
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| 4/5/2017 2:58:21 AM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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justaspypro
Petros, TN
41, joined Dec. 2016
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Highly doubt it
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| 4/5/2017 4:25:24 AM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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korbyn
Bat Cave, NC
98, joined Jun. 2013
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would you consider someone to be your friend if they told you you would never be welcome to stay at their house EVER? And then told you that nobody would want you to ever stay with them...
That's a very harsh thing to say. I would think a friend would be a little more tactful than that.....
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| 4/5/2017 7:07:02 AM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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kraven_morehed
Greenwood, LA
96, joined Jul. 2014
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I can ask anything I want..and I like to hear different opinions,
well,THAT is my opinon!!!
was it good for you,too?
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| 4/6/2017 12:22:50 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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evajoy
Reston, VA
61, joined May. 2012
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heres the thing,  this friend has been there for me in the past when I really needed a friend,  he loaned me money many times in emergencies many times in my life, he has come to my home and done many repairs during the years, i have seen him every holiday for almost the last 50 years, I thought we were good friends, but i dont see how that can be with statements like those...just because someone has loaned u money doesnt give them the right to treat you like shit does it?
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| 4/6/2017 2:42:02 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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ltlwing
Williamsburg, OH
54, joined Oct. 2013
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I not trying to be mean here. Have you wore your welcome out with all the favors over the years??? Maybe he thinks you are needy with your favors?? His way of just letting you know staying with him will never be an option if ever you are in that kind of need??
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| 4/6/2017 5:33:22 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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rubyrose2015
Seagrove, NC
98, joined Sep. 2015
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would you consider someone to be your friend if they told you you would never be welcome to stay at their house EVER? And then told you that nobody would want you to ever stay with them...
What exactly happened right before your friend told you that? It would be helpful to know both sides.
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| 4/6/2017 5:42:46 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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stratus55
Jackson, GA
52, joined Jan. 2017
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ok..money is involved then..is that it..then anything can happen..money is best just gaveaway,an forget it..if possible..if thats it..if they pay it back fine,if not..o well..its a personal thing. or maybe someone has said somethin etc..gossip,as is done on here,an people hate,or stay away from others,an they have no clue exactly why..... 
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| 4/6/2017 5:47:05 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
65, joined Oct. 2009
online now!
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You know perfectly well, OPie, that you ought to avoid people like that completely. Why would you want to befriend someone who insults you to your face and puts you down? We have far too many self righteous shitheads in this world as it is.
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| 4/6/2017 5:53:34 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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stratus55
Jackson, GA
52, joined Jan. 2017
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o i see now...the borrower is servant,or slave to the lender..find a way to pay them back,or do something for them maybe..you said...many times..they have helped you
sounds all one sided,an there fed up hurt,an angry maybe..do somethin to reciprocate..make things close to even as possible..or get your own money etc coming in..i help my sis,an she helps me,allways..a good deal,an she thanx me,allways and i thank her allways too.......
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| 4/7/2017 5:24:37 AM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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ltlwing
Williamsburg, OH
54, joined Oct. 2013
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What exactly happened right before your friend told you that? It would be helpful to know both sides.
True! A person can only speculate like I did.
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| 4/7/2017 2:09:46 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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bigbob311
Los Angeles, CA
70, joined Aug. 2010
online now!
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would you consider someone to be your friend if they told you you would never be welcome to stay at their house EVER? And then told you that nobody would want you to ever stay with them...
No not my Friend .
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| 4/7/2017 5:07:44 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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evajoy
Reston, VA
61, joined May. 2012
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True! A person can only speculate like I did.
What happned right before he said those hurtful things?as far as I know nothing, I called him like i do frequently asking for nothing and just called telling him i wish i could go to san diego to visit my grandson but i couldnt because i had no where to stay there  and thats when he said "I dont blame anyone for not wanting you to stay with them, i know you would never be welcome at my house"
and as far as any loans he gave me for emergencies in the past, we had payment arrangements and I always kept up my endand paid him as agreed on,  so it is not that.
I told him I thought it was mean to say that to me and he said he was just telling me the way it is , that no one would ever want me to stay with them and he rubbed in in my face how i would never be welcome to stay at his home...
 when i hung up the phone my heart hurt because i love this guy like a brother we have been friends going on 50 years (since we were kids)
i still love the guy but i am just so hurt he feels that way about me and would say such hurtful things
i am not mad at him
but I am very hurt
I have had to stop myself many tines and not call him..
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| 4/7/2017 5:44:09 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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rubyrose2015
Seagrove, NC
98, joined Sep. 2015
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Eva, is it possible that someone you both know said something to him about you, that was not true, so he got mad at you and won't even give you the opportunity to defend yourself?
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| 4/7/2017 5:51:20 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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justaspypro
Petros, TN
41, joined Dec. 2016
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Was he drunk or something?
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| 4/7/2017 6:04:02 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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rubyrose2015
Seagrove, NC
98, joined Sep. 2015
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Even if he was drunk, he should have sobered up by now and apologized.
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| 4/7/2017 6:07:22 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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justaspypro
Petros, TN
41, joined Dec. 2016
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Agreed. I've just had people do stuff like that while drinking and not even remember
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| 4/7/2017 6:09:13 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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rubyrose2015
Seagrove, NC
98, joined Sep. 2015
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Sure, some people do have black-outs, but he should still call and talk to her.
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| 4/7/2017 6:12:47 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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stratus55
Jackson, GA
52, joined Jan. 2017
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i dont hang around drinkers,i play musick for all kinds in clubs,but all are my friends,an i try an make them happy..maybe just a momentary lapse of reason..
i love to get encouraging compliments,but this is all just weird..psychologically,and every kinda way,,what could have made such a drastic change,hunny..what are you holding back here.....
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| 4/7/2017 6:19:04 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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evajoy
Reston, VA
61, joined May. 2012
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Was he drunk or something?
he does not drink at all
and he told another one of my friends he feels he has done nothing wrong at all!!
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| 4/7/2017 6:22:19 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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evajoy
Reston, VA
61, joined May. 2012
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i dont hang around drinkers,i play musick for all kinds in clubs,but all are my friends,an i try an make them happy..maybe just a momentary lapse of reason..
i love to get encouraging compliments,but this is all just weird..psychologically,and every kinda way,,what could have made such a drastic change,hunny..what are you holding back here.....
I really dont know, but now i feel like he wasnt really my friend after all
tomorow is his birthday, I never have forgotten it in decades, i usually make him his birthday cake and give him a card and a gift.
I have to stop myself this year
am i doing the right thing?
I do not understand why he said what he did but if he feels that way, would you consider him a friend?
my heart hurts
[Edited 4/7/2017 6:23:09 PM ]
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| 4/7/2017 6:22:58 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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rubyrose2015
Seagrove, NC
98, joined Sep. 2015
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Eva, I can kind of relate. Someone who I have been friends with for years is obviously upset with me for something, and I have no idea as to what I am supposed to have done. She is giving me the "Silent Treatment" and won't even talk about it.
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| 4/7/2017 6:24:37 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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evajoy
Reston, VA
61, joined May. 2012
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Eva, I can kind of relate. Someone who I have been friends with for years is obviously upset with me for something, and I have no idea as to what I am supposed to have done. She is giving me the "Silent Treatment" and won't even talk about it.
he told a mutual friend that he is not mad at me for anything and feels he said or did nothing wrong, he was just being honest
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| 4/7/2017 6:29:36 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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rubyrose2015
Seagrove, NC
98, joined Sep. 2015
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I don't consider being insulting to someone who is supposed to be your friend, to "being honest." Real friends care about their friend's feelings.
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| 4/7/2017 6:42:18 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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evajoy
Reston, VA
61, joined May. 2012
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I don't consider being insulting to someone who is supposed to be your friend, to "being honest." Real friends care about their friend's feelings.
good point
and even when i told him it was hurtful
he just had a matter of fact cold attitude saying he was just being honest
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| 4/7/2017 7:27:13 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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sillylaugher61
Murrysville, PA
56, joined Aug. 2011
online now!
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I not trying to be mean here. Have you wore your welcome out with all the favors over the years??? Maybe he thinks you are needy with your favors?? His way of just letting you know staying with him will never be an option if ever you are in that kind of need??
I think that this person pretty much nailed it.
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| 4/7/2017 9:19:24 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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evajoy
Reston, VA
61, joined May. 2012
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I think that this person pretty much nailed it.
then that is NO friend!!!
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| 4/7/2017 10:19:22 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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maniacmassager
Lawrence, MA
51, joined Mar. 2008
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Dump them immediately. horrible friends
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| 4/7/2017 11:07:01 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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sdakotasky
Harrisburg, PA
68, joined Jun. 2014
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Is there any way you could have a conversation with him and ask him what he meant by that, why he said that? Did he cut off all communication or are you staying away because you are hurt?
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| 4/8/2017 12:05:25 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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orz
Portage, WI
67, joined Jul. 2010
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Perhaps it is just his opinion that you would not make anyone a good house guest. It could be for any reason..your awake/sleep pattern. Your daily routine. Life style and way you conduct yourself. He doesnt think it is comfortable or compatible with the people he knows. I can think of many people I would not want in my home. Actually I feel uncomfortable with anyone that is a friend sleeping here. What if they wander in the night? What about the bathroom and showering? When do they rise and do they cook or do I feed them breakfast when I dont eat any? He has known you for 50 years so just was telling you as it is. Or maybe he thought you were hinting to borrow cash to make that trip. Opinions are like you know what...everyone has one. I would move past it and forget it as a snide comment. If that is enough to drive you away, perhaps YOU arent the best friend.
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| 4/8/2017 4:38:25 PM |
Would someone be your friend? |
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lucky_1million
Pewaukee, WI
51, joined Jun. 2013
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I have a friend who can say some hurtful things at times. However, after 10 years I know that this is her personality. I take what she has to say with a grain of salt.
I still like her in spite of herself.
In my case if my friend told someone that she didn't want them staying at her place it would be because SHE is a major pack rat and is embarrassed to have people over at her place. I have been to her place because I am a non-judgmental friend. However, I am one of the few she will let come over. She also has other issues that she is dealing with. She isn't a happy person.
Saying that other people wouldn't want you over at their place is opportunistic.
Hopefully it is not true and you know that it is not true.
Otherwise, maybe there is some need for self-reflection... if more than one person feels this way about you.
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