| 5/1/2017 7:03:57 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
fairymaiden
Bristol, CT
50, joined Mar. 2014
|
When you're at a wake, do you find it disrespectful to the deceased for people around you to be talking and laughing?
When you're at a wake, is it okay to take pictures of the deceased while they're lying in their casket?
Is it okay to send pictures of the deceased in their casket to family members without them being asked or forewarned that they're coming?
Just how long is an acceptable time to wait to find out how much you're inheriting? Is a couple of hours after the death in poor taste? How about right after the funeral? Is that more acceptable?
[Edited 5/1/2017 7:04:56 PM ]
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
|
| 5/1/2017 7:14:30 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
Suzhi
Knoxville, TN
54, joined Aug. 2016
online now!
|
Well aren't you just a bundle of joy, OP???...
|
| 5/1/2017 7:14:38 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
korbyn
Bat Cave, NC
98, joined Jun. 2013
|
I don't know what to say. I wouldn't act like that at a funeral. Probably best to wait until the person is in the ground before asking about any inheritance. As far as I go, I wouldn't care if it is my funeral. People can do whatever they want. I've told my sister I don't want a funeral or headstone or anything like that if anything happens to me, but I know she will anyway because she said so.
|
| 5/1/2017 7:18:12 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
stratus55
Jackson, GA
51, joined Jan. 2017
|
good grief francy..i dont like the old mannerly things of..take your hat off etc..there dead even..i dont know though..im into livin,an musick,an love..stay swee t,an good luck with this question..what is..a wake..never heard of it.......
|
| 5/1/2017 7:20:08 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
ms_Champagne
AngualastoAustralian Capital
Australia
96, joined Aug. 2016
|
When you're at a wake, do you find it disrespectful to the deceased for people around you to be talking and laughing?
Yes I find it acceptable to 'me'... I hope people aren't full of misery when I pass.. We also need to speak about the fun times we had with the person who passed away... So many variables, for eg.. we did not have an open casket with my dad or mum.. but had a 'viewing' hours before the funeral and people chose to come or not. My ex looked so peaceful when he was in the casket..
When you're at a wake, is it okay to take pictures of the deceased while they're lying in their casket?
Yeah why not...
Is it okay to send pictures of the deceased in their casket to family members without them being asked or forewarned that they're coming?
I don't know nor can I actually answer this.. that is such an individual choice.. Depends if you a squeamish or not.
Just how long is an acceptable time to wait to find out how much you're inheriting? Is a couple of hours after the death in poor taste? How about right after the funeral? Is that more acceptable?
I don't think there is any specific etiquette regarding time.. again it all depends, and preferably be discussed in private ... I don't know how long people wait to discuss this... we usually waited on the 'Executor' of the will to contact people who were/are concerned.. but most likely not on the day of the funeral..
|
| 5/1/2017 7:22:03 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
queennawty
Middlesex
United Kingdom
45, joined Oct. 2015
|
I find all of the above disrespectful but I was raised in a very religious home. Such things were not don't out of respect for the deceased.
|
| 5/1/2017 7:22:56 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
killerbugs53
Palo Cedro, CA
53, joined Oct. 2016
|
Well it depends on the situation,as for a wake I would want people to laugh and have a good time,and talk about the bone head things I have done in life,as for the property or estate maybe the executor of the will,feels like family members live far away and feels it would be an inconvenience to have them come back that everybody's together and wants to go over the will while everyone that involved is there... it really all depends on the circumstances.... but being tacky and tasteless about the situation...that's a whole nothing story op.... fairy
|
| 5/1/2017 7:37:46 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
uber_goober
Danielsville, GA
51, joined May. 2016
|
I'm with bugzilla on this one. It all depends. My definition of a wake is a celebration of the deceased' life, usually involving some reminiscence and revelry. Hopefully anyway. I hope that will be how my bucket-kicking will be treated.
The funeral service is another matter entirely. Decorum is extremely important I think. Best, tasteful but somber clothes. Best manners on display. Quiet kindness and respect shown to the immediate family if you are a guest attending. Polite gratitude and hosting skills if you are the bereaved. Save the open grieving for private time if possible.
As to any inheritance, be patient. Legal channels have to run their course as the will is probated. Trying to goose it along is in EXTREMELY poor taste. Too many "heirs" would just "love to remember" the deceased' life through the possession of this China service or that record collection etc. The more brazen hyenas are quick to step to the front of the kill to get the choice meatier bits of flesh before the will is read. I've seen it personally. And it's awful.
|
| 5/1/2017 7:38:37 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
rubyrose2015
Seagrove, NC
98, joined Sep. 2015
|
When you're at a wake, do you find it disrespectful to the deceased for people around you to be talking and laughing?
When you're at a wake, is it okay to take pictures of the deceased while they're lying in their casket?
Is it okay to send pictures of the deceased in their casket to family members without them being asked or forewarned that they're coming?
Just how long is an acceptable time to wait to find out how much you're inheriting? Is a couple of hours after the death in poor taste? How about right after the funeral? Is that more acceptable?
I have this thing about looking at Anyone who is dead in a casket, so I don't look at them. I will go to the funeral home and sit in the waiting room. I do not even understand why people want to do that, but it is their choice, and not my right to judge.
I find it very disturbing that some people take pics of their dead loved ones. I don't understand why they want to remember the person, dead. I want to remember them as they were when they were alive. My sister is one who does that, takes pics of the dead. She sent me pics of our dead mother, even though she knew that would upset me.
I don't know how long it is acceptable to wait to find out about inheriting. I believe I would be contacted if I had any inheritance.
|
| 5/1/2017 7:40:11 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
easttowest72
Bremen, GA
45, joined Sep. 2014
|
I'm sure people wouldn't be laughing if it was a childs funeral. If it was an elderly person who had lived a long life I don't see why a little socialize would be a problem.
Taking pics shouldn't be a problem. Sending without permission 
Waiting till the reading of the will seems appropriate. In my family we usually already know what we are getting. Living wills can be a good thing
|
| 5/1/2017 7:40:26 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
fairymaiden
Bristol, CT
50, joined Mar. 2014
|
I find all of the above disrespectful but I was raised in a very religious home. Such things were not don't out of respect for the deceased.
This is what I think too and I also was raised in a very religious home. To each their own I guess.
Bugs
|
| 5/1/2017 7:42:15 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
uncle_claudius
Addo
South Africa
68, joined Jul. 2014
|
I'm sure everyone will be dancing at pats funeral ding dong the wicked witch dead .
@ Rubyrose
|
| 5/1/2017 7:43:46 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
driver406
Saint Paul, MN
65, joined Oct. 2009
|
A hundred years ago it was the custom here for everyone to take a picture while standing around the casket. My Gramma had lots of pictures like that.
It is alright to talk and laugh. You're seeing people you haven't seen for decades so you have some catching up to do. It's not like the corpse can hear you. He's either getting his reward in Heaven or spending eternity with my mother.
I don't think you should send such pictures to other people unless they are specifically requested. These days I think it would be in poor taste. A hundred years ago probably it is a different story completely.
When Chuck's Gramma died the relatives were there going through her stuff and fighting over it before the body was cold. Why should you even assume you will be inheriting anything? My nephew is getting what I have because that's the only way he'll ever be able to support himself. Until then he sells shoes PT at Kohls, Al Bundy without his Peg. He couldn't handle that kind of actin anyhow. Or do you want to know so you can prepare to contest the will and have the Court demand you be given something AGAINST the wishes of the deceased? That's tacky and tasteless at best, but people will do anything for money.
If you want to see what, if anything, you are inheriting, wouldn't it be more proper to wait until the reading of the will or until you get a letter from the lawyer? The estate will just be dissipated by lawyers fees, final expenses, lawyers fees, medical bills, lawyers fees, federal taxes, lawyers fees, state taxes, lawyers fees, court costs, lawyers fees, county and local taxes, lawyers fees and cemetery fees! At our cemetery the guy will not let the funeral procession pass until he is PAID IN FULL, preferably in cash. Then there are fees for the monument and lawyers fees. Anything that it left over will be divided up by the survivors even if they haven't seen the deceased in 50 years! Don't be so greedy! At least attend the funeral Mass before trying to rake in your booty. Show a little respect for the dead.
|
| 5/1/2017 7:44:26 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
fairymaiden
Bristol, CT
50, joined Mar. 2014
|
The more brazen hyenas are quick to step to the front of the kill to get the choice meatier bits of flesh before the will is read. I've seen it personally. And it's awful.
Hmmm it is indeed a grotesque display.
|
| 5/1/2017 7:46:56 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
rubyrose2015
Seagrove, NC
98, joined Sep. 2015
|
During Victorian times many people would take their recently dead relatives - especially children - and put them in various poses to look like they were still alive, other members of the family might pose with the dead person also. Now, that goes beyond creepy.
|
| 5/1/2017 7:48:26 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
fairymaiden
Bristol, CT
50, joined Mar. 2014
|
If you want to see what, if anything, you are inheriting, wouldn't it be more proper to wait until the reading of the will or until you get a letter from the lawyer? The estate will just be dissipated by lawyers fees, final expenses, lawyers fees, medical bills, lawyers fees, federal taxes, lawyers fees, state taxes, lawyers fees, court costs, lawyers fees, county and local taxes, lawyers fees and cemetery fees! At our cemetery the guy will not let the funeral procession pass until he is PAID IN FULL, preferably in cash. Then there are fees for the monument and lawyers fees. Anything that it left over will be divided up by the survivors even if they haven't seen the deceased in 50 years! Don't be so greedy! At least attend the funeral Mass before trying to rake in your booty. Show a little respect for the dead.
No no, not ME, I'm the Executor so I already know what I'm inheriting. It's just other people I have to deal with. It's interesting what money does to people.
|
| 5/1/2017 7:52:34 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
uber_goober
Danielsville, GA
51, joined May. 2016
|
During Victorian times many people would take their recently dead relatives - especially children - and put them in various poses to look like they were still alive, other members of the family might pose with the dead person also. Now, that goes beyond creepy.
I've seen old photos and daguerreotypes of that. Some would even paint open eyes on the eyelids of the dead child to give a semblance of life. Different mindset than what is prevalent around here now.
There is(or was) a gal in Intros who had a profile pic of her leaning over for a selfie with a dead relation in their casket. Odd to me. But not without precedent.
[Edited 5/1/2017 7:53:23 PM ]
|
| 5/1/2017 7:57:19 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
52, joined Jun. 2012
|
When you're at a wake, do you find it disrespectful to the deceased for people around you to be talking and laughing?
When you're at a wake, is it okay to take pictures of the deceased while they're lying in their casket?
Is it okay to send pictures of the deceased in their casket to family members without them being asked or forewarned that they're coming?
Just how long is an acceptable time to wait to find out how much you're inheriting? Is a couple of hours after the death in poor taste? How about right after the funeral? Is that more acceptable?
First wakes I went to were up north, Irish...oh Lord....they partied for days...drank, laughed...told stories about the deceased ...cried..wailed....
Down here they are somber events.....
The whole taking pics of the deceased freaks me the fk out...it isn't 1058 people. Not like the only pic you will have is that one as it was then. They did this at my husbands funeral, 30 yrs ago. I was unhinged by the behavior. They also placed an assortment of things in the casket which I also found to be another moment. Cigs,lighter, booze...etc. He wasn't an Egyptian Ruler ppl...slow you sht.
No..it isn't okay to send unrequested pics of this kind to ........anyone.
The whole will situation should be announced by the executor ...prior to the funeral to avoid any circling of vultures....
Bottom line ? Decorum.......
I am sorry for your loss luv 
|
| 5/1/2017 8:00:04 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
easttowest72
Bremen, GA
45, joined Sep. 2014
|
Fairy I don't see why you would be upset that they ask. Most companies on give 3 days bereavement. Would you rather them wait till everyone is back at work and don't have time to deal with things?
|
| 5/1/2017 8:01:23 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
rightguyforu582
Lisle, IL
35, joined Apr. 2017
|
I dont know.
|
| 5/1/2017 9:21:46 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
crixus13
Bet Shemesh
Israel
33, joined Apr. 2017
|
In my family we tend to try and cheer each other up with a smile and stories about those we've lost. I'd like to think it would be the same when I pass. Remember good times and not the loss.
|
| 5/1/2017 9:23:50 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
russellb1
Brewster, NY
48, joined Nov. 2016
|
When you're at a wake, do you find it disrespectful to the deceased for people around you to be talking and laughing?
When you're at a wake, is it okay to take pictures of the deceased while they're lying in their casket?
Is it okay to send pictures of the deceased in their casket to family members without them being asked or forewarned that they're coming?
Just how long is an acceptable time to wait to find out how much you're inheriting? Is a couple of hours after the death in poor taste? How about right after the funeral? Is that more acceptable?
I wouldn't/haven't done any of that. The deceased are having their final moments above ground. The deserve the undivided attention....
|
| 5/1/2017 9:30:21 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
sillylaugher61
Murrysville, PA
55, joined Aug. 2011
|
at a funeral, I think that it is ok to take a picture of the deceased.
At a wake, you should be able to tell stories and yes share a laugh or two.
|
| 5/1/2017 9:33:44 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
sinceresammy
Dayton, OH
62, joined Mar. 2014
|
Prop the body up so the two of you can be in the shot. Perhaps you can pry the mouth open to feign a smile? Also do a thumbs up to give the picture a positive vibe!
|
| 5/1/2017 11:48:31 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
Mercedes_3
New South Wales
Australia
89, joined Jun. 2016
|
At any funeral I always bring the dead back
to life with my shenanigans.
|
| 5/2/2017 3:33:21 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
korbyn
Bat Cave, NC
98, joined Jun. 2013
|
|
| 5/2/2017 4:44:45 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
Stopsign_01
Londres
Argentina
25, joined Feb. 2017
|
I feel it's very disrespectful when the deceased lies there completely ignoring everyone 
|
| 5/2/2017 6:20:24 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
M4mischief
Grand Prairie, TX
99, joined May. 2016
|
we laugh and we cry...just like the deceased would have done....we're just us when it comes to funerals....pics of the person in the casket I think is very tacky...sending them to others is even tackier.....give the body time to get cold before you enquire about your inheritance....your greed is showing if you cant wait a few days.....
|
| 5/2/2017 6:25:42 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
killerbugs53
Palo Cedro, CA
53, joined Oct. 2016
|
No no, not ME, I'm the Executor so I already know what I'm inheriting. It's just other people I have to deal with. It's interesting what money does to people.
BINGO you hit the nail on the coffin............................................
|
| 5/2/2017 6:30:45 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
Stopsign_01
Londres
Argentina
25, joined Feb. 2017
|
During Victorian times many people would take their recently dead relatives - especially children - and put them in various poses to look like they were still alive, other members of the family might pose with the dead person also. Now, that goes beyond creepy.
Patricia's sweet childhood memories
|
| 5/2/2017 6:46:05 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
stl1
Saint Louis, MO
63, joined Jun. 2007
|
When my mother passed a few years back, my eldest sister was the executor. The financial matters were pretty straight forward with the 5 of us getting equal shares as well as the 13 grandchildren each getting a small amount, as stipulated by my mother.. When it came time to divvy up her personal belongings, the 5 of us each made a list of what we wanted and assigned a priority number to it. If nobody else chose that item for that pick, you got that item. There were only a few items that were haggled over and they were resolved amicably.
She had fought cancer for 5 years and her passing was long expected. All of us were there for her passing, even my brother, his wife and their children from Maryland. The funeral was not a somber event as it had been expected. I think the wake might be different if it had been sudden and people were still in shock.
|
| 5/2/2017 7:39:37 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
stanleyzee
Dayton, OH
59, joined Dec. 2012
|
New age dear
|
| 5/2/2017 7:44:20 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
Lil_Miss_Tia
Anaheim, CA
26, joined Jul. 2016
|
When you're at a wake, do you find it disrespectful to the deceased for people around you to be talking and laughing?
When you're at a wake, is it okay to take pictures of the deceased while they're lying in their casket?
Is it okay to send pictures of the deceased in their casket to family members without them being asked or forewarned that they're coming?
Just how long is an acceptable time to wait to find out how much you're inheriting? Is a couple of hours after the death in poor taste? How about right after the funeral? Is that more acceptable?
I mean everybody deals with things in their own way & got their own ways of coping so I ain't gonna judge nobody. I got no problem with people talking & laughing - who said funerals have gotta be sad? U shud be able to remember the good times too.
Sending casket photos to family members crosses a very weird line tho. I don't know anyone who would do that.
|
| 5/3/2017 2:55:50 AM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
korbyn
Bat Cave, NC
98, joined Jun. 2013
|
|
| 5/3/2017 4:47:47 AM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
yetskimama
Walterboro, SC
66, joined Sep. 2011
|
People should leave the Cameras and Phone OUTSIDE. Drink and Eating at the Wake laughing and talking about good old time???? Maybe this is OK for some, as to myself I don't care for this getting together at all... Pay your Respect and go Home..... Now when it comes to the Greed you will find that everywhere. Be strong and take care of yourself
|
| 5/3/2017 4:57:48 AM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
onlymessagin
New York, NY
47, joined Jan. 2017
|
People around me laughing or talking I think nothing of. Everyone grieves differently and I'm not about to make an uncomfortable depressing situation more stressful by worrying about it.
The picture thing is just disturbing
The will and all of that is an after thought I'd say, unless there is not enough funds to have a funeral as the deceased intended. In that case that money may be needed.
|
| 5/3/2017 6:30:27 AM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
stanleyzee
Dayton, OH
59, joined Dec. 2012
|
We had funerals at home
|
| 5/3/2017 5:41:15 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
korbyn
Bat Cave, NC
98, joined Jun. 2013
|
|
| 5/3/2017 5:43:49 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
ltlwing
Williamsburg, OH
53, joined Oct. 2013
|
I find all of the above disrespectful but I was raised in a very religious home. Such things were not don't out of respect for the deceased.
|
| 5/3/2017 5:57:30 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
devil_z
The Rock, GA
98, joined Sep. 2016
|
Never heard of taking photos before.
Why?
You gonna look at later or something?
|
| 5/3/2017 6:07:04 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
Cicada3301
Hardwick, VT
97, joined Jan. 2016
|
Never heard of taking photos before.
Why?
You gonna look at later or something?
Well supposedly all the people currently on this website are already deceased was what was said last night Right here
F**kin d*ckheads 
[Edited 5/3/2017 6:07:16 PM ]
|
| 5/3/2017 6:22:40 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
uber_goober
Danielsville, GA
51, joined May. 2016
|
The aspect of funerals that I find the most distasteful is the viewing which usually happens the night before down here. The open casket sits on a bier surrounded by flowers and everyone is expected to tell the bereaved how peaceful the deceased looks. When they actually look perfectly ghastly and more like a waxwork figure that has shrunk in size. NOT the last image I want to take with me of someone who was important to me. 
|
| 5/3/2017 6:26:03 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
phikebishop
Venice, CA
46, joined Apr. 2014
|
Mostly Catholic had wakes and kept the casket in the house////and people come over drink and tell jokes
|
| 5/3/2017 8:10:26 PM |
Wake & Funeral manners & matters |
|
korbyn
Bat Cave, NC
98, joined Jun. 2013
|
|