6/22/2017 2:34:23 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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helena036
Sanford, FL
42, joined Aug. 2012
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My last boyfriend broke up with me little over 2 years ago. I was left baffled when we broke up without notice. We had a great relationship. Never ague, not even once. I supported him in all he did and never judged him for his faults. We where, what I thought, a perfect match.
Perfect minus 2 facts.
1. He had abandonment issues and let that fear hold him back. He felt his life was doomed to live alone and was unworthy of everlasting love. (Which is just non-sense because he was the sweet, humble, considerate, and caring.)
2. His nature is very calm and low key. Im German, my family known to talk louder, show emotions, and famous for having anxiety....At least that is how it works in my family. I've worked years on toning this trait down. While I will never be perfect, I do strive to be the best person I can and treat others with kindness. To think of others before myself.
Each of use had one large flaw, and overall, I thought we were perfect together. One day when he says he wants to end our relationship (but still be friends)....I was in total shock and heartbroken.
I just assumed that time would pass and things would work out. We still went on dates a few times and send text messages. All of which were friendly in nature. No X rated events. But as time passed the messages became fewer. I tried to move on and focus my time on work and my son. I even left the door for dating open.
I just learned that he got married. My heart suddenly felt heartbroken all over again. She looks just like me too, so I know is decision to leave was not based on looks. Obviously, I was not the right one for him.
On one side of the coin: Im happy that he finally found peace and happiness, I wish him a very happy marriage. He truly deserves the best and she is very lucky to have such a wonderful guy. And she must be a great gal to have earned his trust.
On the other side of the coin: I am jealous, I think some. Im hurt. Im sadden by the possibility that never will be. Im disappointed in myself for not being good enough (Which is just non-sense because I am also sweet, humble, considerate, and caring)
We broke up a little over 2 years ago. I have been ready to move on for some time now. This news just threw me back a bit. So perhaps this post is just to blow off some steam? Or perhaps you might have some good advise or words of encouragement? Im sure many of you have had the experience of an Ex getting married to someone else.
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6/22/2017 3:09:45 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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Olaf_the_german
Houston, TX
50, joined Feb. 2017
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If it helps you take your mind off things you can go ahead and send me some naked photos.
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6/22/2017 3:12:21 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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rightguyforu702
Lisle, IL
40, joined May. 2017
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6/22/2017 3:14:12 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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Olaf_the_german
Houston, TX
50, joined Feb. 2017
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You too pumpkin.
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6/22/2017 3:15:45 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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mylegsarecold
Gainesville, FL
55, joined May. 2011
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You want naked photos of her ex? You pervert!
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6/22/2017 3:17:25 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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Olaf_the_german
Houston, TX
50, joined Feb. 2017
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Perverted would be asking to include a shaved goat.
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6/22/2017 3:21:11 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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easttowest72
Bremen, GA
46, joined Sep. 2014
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Just because people don't argue, it doesn't mean they are happy.
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6/22/2017 3:23:10 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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Olaf_the_german
Houston, TX
50, joined Feb. 2017
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Wise words E2W.
Possible 'chatting' detected.
[Edited 6/22/2017 3:23:16 PM ]
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6/22/2017 5:35:50 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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packersbabe920
Green Bay, WI
52, joined Jul. 2013
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You shouldn't beat yourself up over this, don't never say you not good enough for a man know your worth, he's move on and you should to
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6/22/2017 6:12:07 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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enigmaathand
Leavittsburg, OH
37, joined Mar. 2013
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My last boyfriend broke up with me little over 2 years ago. I was left baffled when we broke up without notice. We had a great relationship. Never ague, not even once. I supported him in all he did and never judged him for his faults. We where, what I thought, a perfect match.
Perfect minus 2 facts.
1. He had abandonment issues and let that fear hold him back. He felt his life was doomed to live alone and was unworthy of everlasting love. (Which is just non-sense because he was the sweet, humble, considerate, and caring.)
2. His nature is very calm and low key. Im German, my family known to talk louder, show emotions, and famous for having anxiety....At least that is how it works in my family. I've worked years on toning this trait down. While I will never be perfect, I do strive to be the best person I can and treat others with kindness. To think of others before myself.
Each of use had one large flaw, and overall, I thought we were perfect together. One day when he says he wants to end our relationship (but still be friends)....I was in total shock and heartbroken.
I just assumed that time would pass and things would work out. We still went on dates a few times and send text messages. All of which were friendly in nature. No X rated events. But as time passed the messages became fewer. I tried to move on and focus my time on work and my son. I even left the door for dating open.
I just learned that he got married. My heart suddenly felt heartbroken all over again. She looks just like me too, so I know is decision to leave was not based on looks.Obviously, I was not the right one for him.
On one side of the coin: Im happy that he finally found peace and happiness, I wish him a very happy marriage. He truly deserves the best and she is very lucky to have such a wonderful guy. And she must be a great gal to have earned his trust.
On the other side of the coin: I am jealous, I think some. Im hurt. Im sadden by the possibility that never will be. Im disappointed in myself for not being good enough (Which is just non-sense because I am also sweet, humble, considerate, and caring)
We broke up a little over 2 years ago. I have been ready to move on for some time now. This news just threw me back a bit. So perhaps this post is just to blow off some steam? Or perhaps you might have some good advise or words of encouragement? Im sure many of you have had the experience of an Ex getting married to someone else.
Well, you may be a little off in your assessment. Maybe it WAS looks related.
There are things, that led to the downfall of your relationship, that both of you probably overlooked.
It is kinda a shame, that you were left so confused. I am sitting in a similar boat, over a former Scorpio female.
It is strange, how somebody can leave another in a total state of confusing and anguish, like that.
Before you decide to move on, make sure that you understand what went wrong.
I am unable to know why my situation ended, which is counter-productive to my Scorpio personality. We HAVE to know EVERYTHING.
I genuinely hope, you can somehow find peace with this situation, and put your mind to rest.
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6/22/2017 6:22:10 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011
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Just because people don't argue, it doesn't mean they are happy.
True, and in general legit men don't want to hurt someone and/or are taught to take things and not complain....and in time just say to themselves, this is not the woman I can spend my life with and move on....and they might have had these feelings for a while, leading up to all of this.
Men tread on such fine lines and can't feel they can express certain things, because the supposedly golden rule is...keep her happy...but that doesn't hold water when it comes to how he feels.
So...I doubt this was a sudden thing that just came up with him.
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6/22/2017 7:11:21 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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lucky_1million
Pewaukee, WI
51, joined Jun. 2013
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I think my ex might be engaged to his new girlfriend who is absolutely gorgeous.
If so... they haven't announced it on Facebook yet.
She has a nice new diamond ring though.
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6/22/2017 7:16:52 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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rightguyforu682
Lisle, IL
40, joined May. 2017
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^^^^^ sounds like you swing both ways...lol .... do you flip a coin to decide? Heads, i want hair pie... Tails...balls across the nose!
[Edited 6/22/2017 7:17:02 PM ]
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6/22/2017 7:33:45 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
59, joined May. 2009
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It would have been nice for you to have had like an exit interview. It would have let you have closure and kept you from wondering why. The thing is as much as you think about it and analyze it and try and figure it out, you won't. You just don't have his side of it.
He may not have even been able to articulate what the problem was, anyway. He may not have really known, but just knew it wasn't right no matter how good it looked on paper.
I understand how bewildering it can be, especially if your looks are similar. I guess he's got a type, huh?
So, go ahead, let it out, work through it, and in the end you'll be OK. And probably, you'll be truly ready to date again and meet someone even more perfect for you, someone for whom his leaving (and shutting the door permanently by getting married) opens you up for.
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6/22/2017 8:00:45 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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001snatch
Marysville, WA
58, joined Aug. 2013
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I had a somewhat similar situation.i am glad i did not get serious with the guy and moved on gave birth to a beatiful son and went on.i see him on fb and he has aged terribly his wife is dumpy and they deserve each other.
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6/22/2017 8:23:28 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
65, joined Oct. 2009
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Michele just ended our relationship too and never ever did say why. I was ? Later I found out she was cheating. Some people you never get over, but you learn to adjust and move on and deal with the things you do have control of. Focus on yourself and your boy and doing what you need to do. This is no time to waste on someone who coldly dumped you and what's up with this "let's be just friends, bullshit"? Oh you see you aren't supposed to be hurt because you're going to be just friends even if he can't find 5 seconds to give you until the end of eternity. Michele couldn't even do that much. Roger thought he got a bargain when he married her but he knows better now.
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6/22/2017 9:14:26 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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enigmaathand
Leavittsburg, OH
37, joined Mar. 2013
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I had a somewhat similar situation.i am glad i did not get serious with the guy and moved on gave birth to a beatiful son and went on.i see him on fb and he has aged terribly his wife is dumpy and they deserve each other.
That would explain why you don't like men and think double standards of "gender roles" is acceptable....
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6/22/2017 9:37:00 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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sadlsticsienna
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016
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This may sound harsh but its what helps me get over people, forget about him he doesn't love you or care that much about you.
You need to realize its over and you don't want to be with him even if you could because he has hurt you and you no longer feel the same.
I ended things with every boyfriend I've ever had and all wanted to have me back but I wouldn't. I'm just good at getting over people when I don't see their is a future there with them.
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6/22/2017 11:34:33 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
65, joined Oct. 2009
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The day my ex got married there were funnel clouds sighted in the area. This may have been a bad omen for the poor fool. She's still married to him.
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6/22/2017 11:37:42 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
65, joined Oct. 2009
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Well, you're still young, sienna, but soon you'll have to either cut some bloke a break or be single for your whole life like driver. The guys aren't going to keep knocking on your door forever you know. After awhile we start looking for some girl a bit more willing to be caught.
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6/23/2017 2:55:08 AM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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sadlsticsienna
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016
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Yeah when a good one comes along.
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6/23/2017 5:47:14 AM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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Mercedes_3
New South Wales
Australia
90, joined Jun. 2016
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Yeah when a good one comes along.
Plenty of cartoons in the sea.
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6/23/2017 6:23:05 AM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011
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Anyway op...sorry this all happened..
Things like this are tough, and sometimes we never get the answer.
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6/23/2017 6:31:50 AM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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Mercedes_3
New South Wales
Australia
90, joined Jun. 2016
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This may sound harsh but its what helps me get over people, forget about him he doesn't love you or care that much about you.
You need to realize its over and you don't want to be with him even if you could because he has hurt you and you no longer feel the same.
I ended things with every boyfriend I've ever had and all wanted to have me back but I wouldn't. I'm just good at getting over people when I don't see their is a future there with them.
If you're so good at getting over people
why all the threads asking for advice?
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6/23/2017 6:35:25 AM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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bumblebee7
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011
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Mercs finally catching on....
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6/23/2017 6:41:05 AM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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kandykayn
Clarksville, TN
30, joined Dec. 2013
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Women tend to forget how important sex is to a man.
Whenever I hear a woman say they didn't see the break up coming I can't help but ask if he was satisfied in the bedroom?
Sometimes they will not tell you they are not satisfied out of respect for your feelings and just move on.
Op is attractive and well spoken. I am positive she will find a man she is more compatible with.
Goodluck
[Edited 6/23/2017 6:41:47 AM ]
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6/23/2017 10:23:59 AM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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Olaf_the_german
Houston, TX
50, joined Feb. 2017
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Women tend to forget how important naps are to a man.
Whenever I hear a woman say they didn't see the break up coming I can't help but ask if he was satisfied in the bedroom?
Also wise words.
[Edited 6/23/2017 10:24:09 AM ]
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6/23/2017 10:41:33 AM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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sinceresammy
Dayton, OH
62, joined Mar. 2014
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The OP is wasting time trying to figure out her ex-BF's emotions. Often times people themselves don't have a clue why they do things.
BTW, Scarecrow is available:
Notice dem blue eyes!
Oh yeah baby!
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6/23/2017 1:33:23 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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Mercedes_3
New South Wales
Australia
90, joined Jun. 2016
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Mercs finally catching on....
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6/23/2017 1:47:35 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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helena036
Sanford, FL
42, joined Aug. 2012
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Thank you to those that shared kind works of encouragement. I am feeling better today, though my heart is still sad. Closure is not something that is easy when the other person is so vague. All I got was: I'm a great person, a best friend, a great girlfriend, but I wanted more than he did and he never wanted to get married. Obviously not completely true.
Yes, it does seem as though he has a "type" as I was totally surprised when I saw her photo.
I get that some guys just dont want to bring up anything negative to keep the lady happy. Im big into communication. If something is truly bothering, it's best to calmly and politely talk about it. No need to drag it out. A five minute conversation to discuss the topic like an adult is more than adequate. Knowledge is power. Perhaps the brake up would have not been so out of the blue and I left confused if he communicated any negative feelings. While I can not change who I am, I can twink bad habits that are bother. If nothing else I have a better understanding where he stood.
But that is OK, because I'm sure a great future awaits. I shall be grateful for all that I have now.
Wishing them both well does help me find some peace. Everyone deserves happiness.
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6/23/2017 1:58:35 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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sinceresammy
Dayton, OH
62, joined Mar. 2014
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From what you have said, he told you he wasn't interested in an indirect way. I'm afraid you are going to be disappointed with men if you expect them to lay out their feelings in specific terms. Maybe Millennial Men will do a better job than my generation?
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6/23/2017 2:14:55 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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mylegsarecold
Gainesville, FL
55, joined May. 2011
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Your ex was an a**hole for dumping you!
There, I hope you feel better now, I sure do.
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6/23/2017 2:25:51 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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Olaf_the_german
Houston, TX
50, joined Feb. 2017
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Thank you to those that shared kind works of encouragement. I am feeling better today, though my heart is still sad. Closure is not something that is easy when the other person is so vague. All I got was: I'm a great person, a best friend, a great girlfriend, but I wanted more than he did and he never wanted to get married. Obviously not completely true.
Yes, it does seem as though he has a "type" as I was totally surprised when I saw her photo.
I get that some guys just dont want to bring up anything negative to keep the lady happy. Im big into communication. If something is truly bothering, it's best to calmly and politely talk about it. No need to drag it out. A five minute conversation to discuss the topic like an adult is more than adequate. Knowledge is power. Perhaps the brake up would have not been so out of the blue and I left confused if he communicated any negative feelings. While I can not change who I am, I can twink bad habits that are bother. If nothing else I have a better understanding where he stood.
But that is OK, because I'm sure a great future awaits. I shall be grateful for all that I have now.
Wishing them both well does help me find some peace. Everyone deserves happiness.
And the naked photos you were going to send me?
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6/23/2017 3:28:23 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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mylegsarecold
Gainesville, FL
55, joined May. 2011
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Was Olaf your ex?
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6/23/2017 7:04:35 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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Mercedes_3
New South Wales
Australia
90, joined Jun. 2016
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6/23/2017 7:36:49 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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enigmaathand
Leavittsburg, OH
37, joined Mar. 2013
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Thank you to those that shared kind works of encouragement. I am feeling better today, though my heart is still sad. Closure is not something that is easy when the other person is so vague. All I got was: I'm a great person, a best friend, a great girlfriend, but I wanted more than he did and he never wanted to get married. Obviously not completely true.
Yes, it does seem as though he has a "type" as I was totally surprised when I saw her photo.
I get that some guys just dont want to bring up anything negative to keep the lady happy. Im big into communication. If something is truly bothering, it's best to calmly and politely talk about it. No need to drag it out. A five minute conversation to discuss the topic like an adult is more than adequate. Knowledge is power. Perhaps the brake up would have not been so out of the blue and I left confused if he communicated any negative feelings. While I can not change who I am, I can twink bad habits that are bother. If nothing else I have a better understanding where he stood.
But that is OK, because I'm sure a great future awaits. I shall be grateful for all that I have now.
Wishing them both well does help me find some peace. Everyone deserves happiness.
Good luck in your search.
Often times, we offend our mates without even realizing. Passive-Aggressive disorder(or avoiding confrontation) is very common and very destructive in relationships. Glad to see you can find some peace in your situation.
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6/23/2017 10:02:35 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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sadlsticsienna
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016
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If you're so good at getting over people
why all the threads asking for advice?
Entertainment lol
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6/23/2017 10:06:07 PM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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Mercedes_3
New South Wales
Australia
90, joined Jun. 2016
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sadlsticsienna: Entertainment lol
I knew that
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6/24/2017 12:15:59 AM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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lucky_1million
Pewaukee, WI
51, joined Jun. 2013
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Closure is not something that is easy when the other person is so vague. All I got was: I'm a great person, a best friend, a great girlfriend, but I wanted more than he did and he never wanted to get married. Obviously not completely true.
I would just run with what he said to you. You are a great person, a best friend, and a great girlfriend. So, be it. He's married now. The book is about closed as it ever will get.
It's time to write your own story with a happy ending.
I've been in your ex's shoes. So, I doubt it if he would want you to feel bad about things and he probably hopes that you find exactly what you are looking for. He probably liked you very much, but just NOT enough to give up his freedom and make a lifelong commitment to you. He was attracted to you, that's why he chose someone who looked like you.
Unless you ask him, you'll never know why things didn't work out. Something might have happened early in the relationship to turn him off from the idea of "forever" with you... or maybe he hadn't yet warmed up to the idea of marriage and needed more time to process his feelings... but then there was pressure to move forward. When he met this other woman who reminded him of you, it was easy to fall in love and... well... she was a blank page without any issues.
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6/26/2017 9:19:46 AM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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helena036
Sanford, FL
42, joined Aug. 2012
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I would just run with what he said to you. You are a great person, a best friend, and a great girlfriend. So, be it. He's married now. The book is about closed as it ever will get.
It's time to write your own story with a happy ending.
I've been in your ex's shoes. So, I doubt it if he would want you to feel bad about things and he probably hopes that you find exactly what you are looking for. He probably liked you very much, but just NOT enough to give up his freedom and make a lifelong commitment to you. He was attracted to you, that's why he chose someone who looked like you.
Unless you ask him, you'll never know why things didn't work out. Something might have happened early in the relationship to turn him off from the idea of "forever" with you... or maybe he hadn't yet warmed up to the idea of marriage and needed more time to process his feelings... but then there was pressure to move forward. When he met this other woman who reminded him of you, it was easy to fall in love and... well... she was a blank page without any issues.
Thanks for the good advise. It is definitely time to write my own story with a happy ending. And I am sure he only wishes me the best.
I think our relationship came at the wrong time really. After his ex wife left him (so she could get pregnant with another man) he did not dated for 7 years, and I was his first girlfriend. It took him a while to bring down his walls of hurt and insecurities. While I was patient and understanding, time is what he needed. I never pressured him with the ideal of marriage, but being our christian background he just assumed there was pressure. His friends at church always brought up the topic. I'm glad he finally got over his fear even if not with me. I do feel happy to know that my kind words of encouragement finally sunk in.
We all have issues as we are all human.
Lucky for me, this form has helped me process my feelings. While I still might be sad in some ways, I am also very hopeful. I'm a responsible sweet gal that loves to share laughs. Plenty of great guys out there that want a gal like me.
Here's to us all finding our happy ending.
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6/30/2017 10:49:41 AM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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sinceresammy
Dayton, OH
62, joined Mar. 2014
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Also be prepared for unhappy endings. They can occur whether or not you enter into a relationship. Time goes by fast, and life is short.
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7/3/2017 1:17:52 AM |
Just found out my Ex got married. |
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doublethree
Germantown, TN
40, joined Oct. 2013
online now!
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I wonder if one of my exes got married... She claimed she figured she would be, years ago. My last ex I doubt anyone would be dumb enough to marry. Shew as a nutcase. lol.
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