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1/13/2011 8:11:19 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
sunny3881
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,236)
Hominy, OK
79, joined Jan. 2010







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1/13/2011 8:17:54 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

sassy_lassy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (22,639)
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007







[Edited 1/13/2011 8:19:09 PM ]

1/13/2011 8:58:49 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
sunny3881
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,236)
Hominy, OK
79, joined Jan. 2010




1/14/2011 9:01:43 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

ted10579
Over 2,000 Posts (3,985)
Crystal River, FL
78, joined Aug. 2010


In Memoriam

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

1/14/2011 9:17:39 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

altje
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,706)
Kernersville, NC
77, joined Jun. 2008


A burglar broke into a house and shined his flashlight around looking for valuables.

He picked up a CD
player when a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying:
'Jesus is watching you.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked off his flashlight and froze. When he heard nothing more he continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out he heard: 'Jesus
is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically. Finally, in the corner of the room his light beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yep,' the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,'
replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of poeple that would name a Rottweiler Jesus'

1/14/2011 1:09:24 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

sunny_
Over 2,000 Posts (2,921)
Paintsville, KY
70, joined Feb. 2009




1/17/2011 5:18:01 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
sharsea
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (31,834)
Gulfport, MS
73, joined Dec. 2008


The more you think about this one, the funnier
it gets.Short & sweet, a good one.


A very tired nurse walks into a bank,
totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.
Preparing to write a check, she pulls a
rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries
to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake,she looks at the flabbergasted teller,and without
missing a beat,
she says:
'Well, that's great....that's just great....Some a**hole's got my pen!'

1/18/2011 6:34:59 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
boonie67
Over 2,000 Posts (3,551)
Jasper, IN
71, joined Aug. 2010




1/18/2011 10:20:19 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

delideliteful
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,193)
Saint Clairsville, OH
80, joined Aug. 2010






[Edited 1/18/2011 10:22:08 AM ]

1/18/2011 11:23:13 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
sunny3881
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,236)
Hominy, OK
79, joined Jan. 2010




1/18/2011 11:34:35 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

delideliteful
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,193)
Saint Clairsville, OH
80, joined Aug. 2010




1/18/2011 5:11:20 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
sunny3881
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,236)
Hominy, OK
79, joined Jan. 2010




1/19/2011 12:49:59 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
sunny3881
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,236)
Hominy, OK
79, joined Jan. 2010




1/19/2011 11:07:36 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
sunny3881
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,236)
Hominy, OK
79, joined Jan. 2010




1/20/2011 12:36:24 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
boonie67
Over 2,000 Posts (3,551)
Jasper, IN
71, joined Aug. 2010


When Love Fades...

Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV
when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen
"What would you like for dinner my Love?...
Chicken, beef or fish?"
I said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."
She replied……………………………
"You're having soup, a**hole. I was talking to the cat."

1/20/2011 12:46:04 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

sassy_lassy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (22,639)
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007


Dang...

1/20/2011 12:47:48 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011


Quote from boonie67:
When Love Fades...

Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV
when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen
"What would you like for dinner my Love?...
Chicken, beef or fish?"
I said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."
She replied……………………………
"You're having soup, a**hole. I was talking to the cat."


Now I know who has that Nurse's Pen..

1/20/2011 3:04:13 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011


A man and his son were in front of me at McD's one Saturday morning. The lines were long (as usual) and so they got into one of the lines behind a rather large lady. (I'm being kind here). The rather Large Lady was wearing a pager. The Boy turned to his father with a look that only a father could recognize as trouble. The father whispered to his son, "Sh-ssh, don't say a word". All of a sudden the lady's beeper started to go off and the little boy with fear in his eyes shouted "Look out dad, she's backing up!"



[Edited 1/20/2011 3:05:12 PM ]

1/20/2011 6:06:29 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

newlady2
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (42,595)
Goldsboro, NC
78, joined Apr. 2008


I can imagine.

1/20/2011 10:01:04 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

homelesslaw
Over 2,000 Posts (2,486)
Cedar Rapids, IA
75, joined Dec. 2010


where was the toothbrush invented????????????? Arkansas!! anywhere els they would have been called teethbrushes

1/20/2011 10:07:07 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

sassy_lassy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (22,639)
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007


An Unusual Offer

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer.
"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says, "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "I do."

The groom leaned toward the pastor and hissed, "I thought we had a deal."

The pastor put the $100 bill into his hand and whispered back, "She made me a much better offer."



[Edited 1/20/2011 10:07:30 PM ]

1/21/2011 1:52:26 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
sunny3881
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,236)
Hominy, OK
79, joined Jan. 2010




1/22/2011 9:25:23 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

delideliteful
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,193)
Saint Clairsville, OH
80, joined Aug. 2010




1/22/2011 3:33:18 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
ooohman2
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,304)
Brockton, MA
73, joined Dec. 2009






1/22/2011 4:23:37 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
halfpint1965
Verona, MO
70, joined Jul. 2010


At my recent assault trial, I offered a plea of "Guilty with an explanation." The judge asked me what my explanation was, so I told my story.

"Your Honor," I said, "I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept.
I was met with: 'Hi! I'm Belinda!' This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, 'All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?'

I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science.' Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, 'Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything? ''Fine', I answered.

I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap!

Complete darkness and the power went off! 'Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.' Belinda said, and headed for the door.
'Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?' I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, 'Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back.' Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared.

And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me... half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging a polite 'Hi, how's it going' type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible 'Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.'
'You bet, take care' Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, 'Oh I am sooo sorry!' The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch.. Are we upset?'

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps...."

The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said 'Case Dismissed!!'

1/22/2011 4:34:15 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
ooohman2
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,304)
Brockton, MA
73, joined Dec. 2009


Good one

1/23/2011 11:55:08 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011


LITTLE TONY ON MATH
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little TONY.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream!
Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."

1/25/2011 4:18:35 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011


AN IRISH BLOND IN A CASINO

An attractive blond from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed . . . "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered,
"I don't know - I thought you were watching."

MORAL OF THE STORY -

Not all Irish are drunks,
not all blonde's are dumb,
but all men....are men.

1/25/2011 6:15:08 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

delideliteful
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,193)
Saint Clairsville, OH
80, joined Aug. 2010




1/25/2011 8:19:31 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

sassy_lassy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (22,639)
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007



I am reading and laughing do hard .. thanks for all the jokes .. good ones.. now I have to try and find something fun to post.. keep up the good jokes , or naughty ones..haha love them all..

1/25/2011 11:37:58 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
sunny3881
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,236)
Hominy, OK
79, joined Jan. 2010


Those jokes are so funny, especially the one about the mamogram.

I think I would be in court too.

1/26/2011 8:24:19 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

homelesslaw
Over 2,000 Posts (2,486)
Cedar Rapids, IA
75, joined Dec. 2010


Woman walks into a bar --- man walks into the bar after her------wouldnt you think one would have used the door ??? talk about lame

1/26/2011 8:53:03 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

sassy_lassy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (22,639)
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007




1/26/2011 7:27:03 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

ted10579
Over 2,000 Posts (3,985)
Crystal River, FL
78, joined Aug. 2010


BRAGGING RIGHTS

The Cow, an Ant and an Old Fart --------


A cow, an ant and an old fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.


The cow said, "I give 20 quarts of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest!"


The ant said, "I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the greatest!"



























Why are you scrolling down?
It's your turn to say something...

1/26/2011 11:08:06 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
sunny3881
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,236)
Hominy, OK
79, joined Jan. 2010




1/27/2011 12:20:22 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

homelesslaw
Over 2,000 Posts (2,486)
Cedar Rapids, IA
75, joined Dec. 2010


fartnow thats funny

1/27/2011 6:11:14 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

ted10579
Over 2,000 Posts (3,985)
Crystal River, FL
78, joined Aug. 2010




1/27/2011 6:17:09 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011




1/27/2011 6:17:59 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

newlady2
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (42,595)
Goldsboro, NC
78, joined Apr. 2008


What can I say Ted?? Fabulous,,and THankyou..*smile*

1/28/2011 9:29:40 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

delideliteful
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,193)
Saint Clairsville, OH
80, joined Aug. 2010




1/28/2011 9:51:55 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
cnile1
Star, ID
69, joined Jan. 2011


Late again,' the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy. 'It ain't my fault this time, Miss Crabtree. You can blame this'un on my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!'
Now, Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd years.. Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Sammy what he meant by that.
Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Sammy and trouble were old friends, but he always told her the truth. 'You see, Miss Crabtree, out at the ranch we got this here low down
coyote. The last few nights, he done ate six hens and killed Ma's best milk goat. Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his shot gun and said to Ma, 'That coyote's back again, I'm a gonna git him!'' 'Stay back, he whispered to all us kids!'
'He was naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then, he stuck that double barreled 12 gauge shot gun through the window of the coop.' 'As he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind, our old hound dog, Zeke, had done woke up and comes sneaking' up behind Daddy. Then, as we all looked on, plumb helpless, old Zeke Cold Nosed Pa In The Butt.
'Miss Crabtree, we all been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin'...



1/28/2011 12:42:14 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

sassy_lassy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (22,639)
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007


Signs That Old Age Might Be Creeping Up On You ...


You like to be in crowds because they keep you from falling down.

Your favorite section of the newspaper is '25 Years Ago Today.'

A big evening with your friends is sitting around comparing living wills.

Your clothes go into the overnight bag so you can fill the suitcase with your pills.

Somebody you consider an old-timer calls you an old-timer.

Your idea of a change of scenery is looking to the left or right.

Your knees buckle, but your belt won't

Gini Pedersen

1/28/2011 12:43:21 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

sassy_lassy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (22,639)
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007


Now that I'm "older" (but refuse to grow up), I'll share some things I've discovered:
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
Funny, I don't remember being absent minded. . .
All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.
If all is not lost, where is it?
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few . . .
Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
Accidents in the back seat cause...kids.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
It's not hard to meet expenses. . . they're everywhere.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . . I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.

1/29/2011 1:24:35 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

ted10579
Over 2,000 Posts (3,985)
Crystal River, FL
78, joined Aug. 2010


Not staying, just plurking........


Subject: Biker Humor


A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw
a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stop.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he
asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"

So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had.
That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous.
Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

1/29/2011 8:32:55 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

delideliteful
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,193)
Saint Clairsville, OH
80, joined Aug. 2010




1/29/2011 10:31:52 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

sassy_lassy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (22,639)
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007


A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.


"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we're off to Europe tomorrow, and I can stow you away on my ship. "I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe , the woman accepted.

That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small, but comfortable, compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.

Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection. "What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings food and I get a free trip to Europe ."

"I see," the captain says.

Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," replied the captain, "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

1/30/2011 7:52:46 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

homelesslaw
Over 2,000 Posts (2,486)
Cedar Rapids, IA
75, joined Dec. 2010


date and hookup now theres a joke

1/30/2011 4:04:15 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
oldrustybear
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,591)
Cave Junction, OR
73, joined Oct. 2008


Really having a bad day


The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from the on lookers. A minute later, in full view, they were both eaten by killer whales

1/30/2011 4:09:44 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

digitaldog
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,703)
Grove, OK
68, joined Dec. 2010


Quote from oldrustybear:
Really having a bad day


The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from the on lookers. A minute later, in full view, they were both eaten by killer whales


$80.000 DOLLARS...!!!
For that much money I'd marry the darn seal..
D-D

1/30/2011 4:54:15 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
oldrustybear
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,591)
Cave Junction, OR
73, joined Oct. 2008


Really having a bad day:

Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay the postage on a letter-bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was a bomb. he opened it and was blown to bits.

1/30/2011 5:25:23 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

sassy_lassy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (22,639)
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007


Fishing License
A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game Warden was hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!" the Warden gasped. With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes, sir," replied the young guy, "but my friend back there, well, he don't have one."

1/31/2011 10:34:58 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
oldrustybear
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,591)
Cave Junction, OR
73, joined Oct. 2008


The easiest way to figure the cost of living is to take
your income and add twenty percent.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects-- Will Rogers

2/1/2011 10:37:02 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

sassy_lassy
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (22,639)
Athens, TN
75, joined Mar. 2007


A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

'Fred,' he replies.

'Fred what?' the officer asks.

'Just Fred,' the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'

The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.'
I was born Fred Johnson.

I studied hard and got good grades.

When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor.
I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD..
After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school.

Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.

Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the
ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.

Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD.
Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.

Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

2/2/2011 7:37:09 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
oldrustybear
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,591)
Cave Junction, OR
73, joined Oct. 2008


LAWS FOR WOMEN TO LIVE BY

1.Don't imagine you canchange a man- unless he's in diapers

2.What do you do if your boy friend walks out? You shut the door

3.If they put a man on the moon- they should be able to put them all on it.

4. never let your man's mind wander- it's too little to be out alone

2/3/2011 6:25:57 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

delideliteful
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,193)
Saint Clairsville, OH
80, joined Aug. 2010


zwani.com myspace graphic comments
Myspace Funny Picture Graphics


2/3/2011 6:31:12 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

sunny_
Over 2,000 Posts (2,921)
Paintsville, KY
70, joined Feb. 2009


[quoteheader]Quote from delideliteful:[/quoteheader][quote]
zwani.com myspace graphic comments
Myspace Funny Picture Graphics
[/quote]

OMG Deli, too funny. I really needed a good belly laugh.

2/4/2011 1:29:31 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
sunny3881
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,236)
Hominy, OK
79, joined Jan. 2010




2/4/2011 1:35:29 PM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
oldrustybear
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,591)
Cave Junction, OR
73, joined Oct. 2008


DRIVING ETIQUETTE

1. dim your lights for the approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded. and the deer is in sight.

2.When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

2/5/2011 10:48:50 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  
sunny3881
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,236)
Hominy, OK
79, joined Jan. 2010






[Edited 2/5/2011 10:49:18 AM ]

2/5/2011 10:51:45 AM Joke ,cartoons, or just funny things.. | Page 2  

delideliteful
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,193)
Saint Clairsville, OH
80, joined Aug. 2010


I went to WalMart and came home with the Greeter!