6/30/2012 3:38:08 PM |
Please define FWB |
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lovelyjoy
Tampa, FL
28, joined Dec. 2011
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I met a guy and told him up front that I didn't want anything serious. I'm just looking to hangout, have a good time, and occasionally have sex, but I also don't just want a booty call. He told me his work didn't lend itself to a committed relationship at the time and he was looking for the same. We had sex the second and third time we hung out. Then he started talking about how perfect I was and blah blah. So I reiterated that I am not looking for anything serious and I just want to be friends. He gave me the same line as before about how his work kept him busy and he didn't have time for a committed relationship. The fourth time we hung out, it was kinda late, so we just chilled out and watched a movie. I did not have sex with him that night. He never contacted me again.
I described this situation to a female friend and she said that I probably confused him by not having sex with him and he most likely was waiting for me to contact him to make sure he was wanted(even though he texted me at least every morning previously). She also said that what I was describing (someone to hangout, have a good time, and occasionally have sex with) was not an fwb.
I'm not interested in casually dating because I want sex, and I'm not interested in just a booty call because ideally I want a more meaningful relationship than just sex. But I also don't see the point in a committed relationship because I'm not interested in marriage or children.
Am I missing something?
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6/30/2012 3:43:42 PM |
Please define FWB |
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flyaway003
Fort Worth, TX
35, joined Apr. 2012
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Wow
What you describe is exactly what an " FWB " is. FWB dont have to have sec everytime they meet.
And that's one of the reason its not advisable, as most humans will grow feelings for the other and someone will end up getting hurt.
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6/30/2012 3:55:12 PM |
Please define FWB |
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afrosirene
Brooklyn, NY
39, joined Dec. 2010
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Wow
What you describe is exactly what an " FWB " is. FWB dont have to have sec everytime they meet.
Concur...
My guess, on the OP's FWB..... he was on his period....
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6/30/2012 4:07:36 PM |
Please define FWB |
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teacherrich
Appleton, WI
62, joined May. 2012
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op it's called sick and espeacially these days, slut or wh*re is what some would call it
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6/30/2012 4:29:00 PM |
Please define FWB |
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flyaway003
Fort Worth, TX
35, joined Apr. 2012
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@ Afro
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6/30/2012 4:32:45 PM |
Please define FWB |
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jad071571
West Memphis, AR
49, joined Oct. 2011
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sounds like you are missing brains.
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6/30/2012 4:35:27 PM |
Please define FWB |
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mischiefmanaged
Bellevue, WA
46, joined Jul. 2010
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...I'm just looking to hangout, have a good time, and occasionally have sex, but I also don't just want a booty call....
The first two things are what friends do, the last part (sex) is a benefit. Your friend doesn't know what she's talking about. Not sure how it can be any clearer than that- two people doing friend stuff and treating each other like friends (the "friend" in "FWB/Friend with Benefits") that occasionally have sex ("benefits"). Not really sure why people don't get this, it's pretty simple. Ok now back to you OP, your guy friend's feelings got hurt and he's not man enough to admit that he's probably ready to cling to any woman for dear life. Your friends generally don't let you see that side of them. That's why it's particularly difficult finding an appropriate FWB, and why "it" (AKA the other person- seriously there's no FWB thing running around messing things up, so it isn't the relationship *it's the person*) often doesn't work.
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6/30/2012 4:46:23 PM |
Please define FWB |
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afrosirene
Brooklyn, NY
39, joined Dec. 2010
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I described this situation to a female friend and she said that I probably confused him by not having sex with him and he most likely was waiting for me to contact him to make sure he was wanted(even though he texted me at least every morning previously). She also said that what I was describing (someone to hangout, have a good time, and occasionally have sex with) was not an fwb.
OP...
I think you need to introduce your former FWB to the female friend who gave you this 'jacked' up advice.
Two individuals who live in dreamworlds...and will 'psycho-babble' themselves out of realistic situation. This was a simple arrangement, black & white, no hidden agendas, no games, a verbal contract that was already outlined.
When they're introduced...
Be sure to say...
"Oprah....
Meet Dr. Phil."
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6/30/2012 4:47:29 PM |
Please define FWB |
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lovelyjoy
Tampa, FL
28, joined Dec. 2011
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op it's called sick and espeacially these days, slut or wh*re is what some would call it
Thanks for your opinion. I enjoy sex, but am not interested in commitment. I at least try to be ethical in all my dealings and act with discretion. If that makes me a slut, then so be it. I'll be a slut. An ethical slut.
[Edited 6/30/2012 4:47:43 PM ]
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6/30/2012 4:48:41 PM |
Please define FWB |
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mylegsarecold
Gainesville, FL
54, joined May. 2011
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OP, is your situation something like ordering a hamburger but without the meat and bun?
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6/30/2012 4:49:29 PM |
Please define FWB |
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lovelyjoy
Tampa, FL
28, joined Dec. 2011
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sounds like you are missing brains.
Care to elaborate?
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6/30/2012 4:51:29 PM |
Please define FWB |
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esmeraldar
Toms River, NJ
68, joined Jan. 2009
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Maybe your friend didn't really want to be a FWB? Sometimes people think that's what they want, but after trying it out they decide it's not for them.
I think what you described is FWB, but both people have to be on the same page for it to work.
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6/30/2012 4:56:52 PM |
Please define FWB |
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lovelyjoy
Tampa, FL
28, joined Dec. 2011
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OP, is your situation something like ordering a hamburger but without the meat and bun?
More like ordering the meal and only getting the meat and bun... no fries on the side and no condiments. He was rather affectionate and enjoyed cuddling. I suppose maybe he just wasn't honest abut what he really wanted.
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6/30/2012 4:58:24 PM |
Please define FWB |
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philpain
Mansfield, OH
39, joined Mar. 2012
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So op... let me get this straight.. you wanta f with no commitment.. become a prositute.. you get paid. At least they are saying they are worth something
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6/30/2012 5:02:54 PM |
Please define FWB |
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lovelyjoy
Tampa, FL
28, joined Dec. 2011
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So op... let me get this straight.. you wanta f with no commitment.. become a prositute.. you get paid. At least they are saying they are worth something
You clearly didn't read my post.
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6/30/2012 5:06:19 PM |
Please define FWB |
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mylegsarecold
Gainesville, FL
54, joined May. 2011
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More like ordering the meal and only getting the meat and bun... no fries on the side and no condiments. He was rather affectionate and enjoyed cuddling. I suppose maybe he just wasn't honest abut what he really wanted.
Why have a man? Wouldn't a vibrator do? You should order one of them, without ketchup.
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6/30/2012 5:07:07 PM |
Please define FWB |
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philpain
Mansfield, OH
39, joined Mar. 2012
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More like ordering the meal and only getting the meat and bun... no fries on the side and no condiments. He was rather affectionate and enjoyed cuddling. I suppose maybe he just wasn't honest abut what he really wanted.
What? You wanta f without a comitment... gee I can read
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6/30/2012 5:13:54 PM |
Please define FWB |
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esmeraldar
Toms River, NJ
68, joined Jan. 2009
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OP is 23. She is not ready for a permanent relationship. She wants to have sex but wants a more casual relationship that is not going to lead to marriage or cohabitation. She would rather be having sex with a friend who will share some of her activities than with a f**k buddy who is only there for sex or with a one night stand.
In these modern times, people can have these types of relationships. But I think only a small number of people find them satisfactory in the long run.
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6/30/2012 5:14:07 PM |
Please define FWB |
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homelessnomad
Austin, TX
57, joined May. 2012
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I met a guy and told him up front that I didn't want anything serious. I'm just looking to hangout, have a good time, and occasionally have sex, but I also don't just want a booty call. He told me his work didn't lend itself to a committed relationship at the time and he was looking for the same. We had sex the second and third time we hung out. Then he started talking about how perfect I was and blah blah. So I reiterated that I am not looking for anything serious and I just want to be friends. He gave me the same line as before about how his work kept him busy and he didn't have time for a committed relationship. The fourth time we hung out, it was kinda late, so we just chilled out and watched a movie. I did not have sex with him that night. He never contacted me again.
I described this situation to a female friend and she said that I probably confused him by not having sex with him and he most likely was waiting for me to contact him to make sure he was wanted(even though he texted me at least every morning previously). She also said that what I was describing (someone to hangout, have a good time, and occasionally have sex with) was not an fwb.
I'm not interested in casually dating because I want sex, and I'm not interested in just a booty call because ideally I want a more meaningful relationship than just sex. But I also don't see the point in a committed relationship because I'm not interested in marriage or children.
Am I missing something?
Yes, but there's no point saying what it is.
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6/30/2012 5:19:08 PM |
Please define FWB |
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lovelyjoy
Tampa, FL
28, joined Dec. 2011
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What? You wanta f without a comitment... gee I can read
If you could read, then you would have also read the part where I said I wanted a more meaningful relationship than just sex.
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6/30/2012 5:22:00 PM |
Please define FWB |
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lovelyjoy
Tampa, FL
28, joined Dec. 2011
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Why have a man? Wouldn't a vibrator do? You should order one of them, without ketchup.
I have several of those... in fact I used to sell them. They potentially are more satisfying than a man, but sometimes you want to connect with a person. But you don't want just a one night stand.
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6/30/2012 5:22:01 PM |
Please define FWB |
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philpain
Mansfield, OH
39, joined Mar. 2012
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Then you reply that you don't... keep going
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6/30/2012 5:24:26 PM |
Please define FWB |
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lovelyjoy
Tampa, FL
28, joined Dec. 2011
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Yes, but there's no point saying what it is.
What was the point in posting that? You added absolutely no value to this thread. If you aren't going to shed light on what I'm missing in this situation, then it does no good to tell me that in fact I am missing something.
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6/30/2012 5:26:04 PM |
Please define FWB |
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ctr916
Roseville, CA
53, joined Aug. 2011
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maybe he found someone else and she insisted on more "exclusivity", and he went along with it. i think you should remind him that fwb doesn't require exclusivity, just the commitment of being willing to be friends.
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6/30/2012 5:27:56 PM |
Please define FWB |
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mylegsarecold
Gainesville, FL
54, joined May. 2011
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OP is 23. She is not ready for a permanent relationship. She wants to have sex but wants a more casual relationship that is not going to lead to marriage or cohabitation. She would rather be having sex with a friend who will share some of her activities than with a f**k buddy who is only there for sex or with a one night stand.
In these modern times, people can have these types of relationships. But I think only a small number of people find them satisfactory in the long run.
Then she should order a friend, and a vibrator.
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6/30/2012 6:08:03 PM |
Please define FWB |
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teacherrich
Appleton, WI
62, joined May. 2012
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lovejoy , no matter how you justify it you affect yourself subconsciously and the risks even using protection these days are devastating. For you to endanger yourself is one thing endangering others is just plain sick and you can't justify that all saying you love sex
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6/30/2012 6:50:53 PM |
Please define FWB |
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lovelyjoy
Tampa, FL
28, joined Dec. 2011
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lovejoy , no matter how you justify it you affect yourself subconsciously and the risks even using protection these days are devastating. For you to endanger yourself is one thing endangering others is just plain sick and you can't justify that all saying you love sex
I think you missed the point. That's the reason for an fwb. I'm not interested in laying with just anyone, but I'm also not interested in committing to a relationship. Therefore, I am seeking to get to know an individual as a friend, have a friendship with them, and occasionally share intimacy. It's two consenting adults sharing intimacy, not sure how I am the one endangering other people if my partner(s) know what the deal is.
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6/30/2012 7:01:25 PM |
Please define FWB |
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loveingod
Albuquerque, NM
49, joined Jun. 2012
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I'm not interested in casually dating because I want sex, and I'm not interested in just a booty call because ideally I want a more meaningful relationship than just sex. But I also don't see the point in a committed relationship because I'm not interested in marriage or children.
Am I missing something?
You are so complicated and confusing to me that my head is spinning. Now I am sure that you are a nice lady and all with good intentions, but you don't make much sense to me. I think the most fitting FWB you could possibly find is yourself. You are missing many things, well, to me. You should go take care of your FWB.
[Edited 6/30/2012 7:04:10 PM ]
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6/30/2012 7:22:56 PM |
Please define FWB |
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driver406
Saint Paul, MN
64, joined Oct. 2009
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Friends With Benefits. Tons of sex with no consideration for the woman or for a possible pregnancy? Pregnancy? He's outta there!
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6/30/2012 10:41:19 PM |
Please define FWB |
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lovelyjoy
Tampa, FL
28, joined Dec. 2011
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You are so complicated and confusing to me that my head is spinning. Now I am sure that you are a nice lady and all with good intentions, but you don't make much sense to me. I think the most fitting FWB you could possibly find is yourself. You are missing many things, well, to me. You should go take care of your FWB.
That was meant as more of a clarification for why an fwb is ideal for me. But thanks for the feedback.... I guess some people are genuinely confused by the concept of hanging out, having fun, and only occasionally having sex with no serious commitment.
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6/30/2012 10:42:15 PM |
Please define FWB |
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lovelyjoy
Tampa, FL
28, joined Dec. 2011
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Friends With Benefits. Tons of sex with no consideration for the woman or for a possible pregnancy? Pregnancy? He's outta there!
That's a f**k buddy... not a friend.
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6/30/2012 10:48:24 PM |
Please define FWB |
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cutedimples64
Indianapolis, IN
52, joined Mar. 2012
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not nice to say someone has no brains even though dont learn keep to your self you have no tack
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6/30/2012 10:49:46 PM |
Please define FWB |
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matt13258
Meadville, PA
42, joined Jun. 2012
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fwb for people who have no respect or dignity or morals
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6/30/2012 11:11:59 PM |
Please define FWB |
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notrick158
Miami, FL
58, joined Jan. 2012
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I think what you described is an extended booty call. If the payoff is sex most guys would be happy to hang out and have some fun for a short time. No sex equals a waste of time. If I had gotten use to having sex when hanging out with you and you didn't the last time. Then you changed the arrangement and that was not the agreement. Btw fwb is the nice way to say booty call, he would never see you as a real friend. Just what I think.
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6/30/2012 11:19:48 PM |
Please define FWB |
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sharyagain
Atlanta, GA
40, joined Feb. 2011
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I met a guy and told him up front that I didn't want anything serious. I'm just looking to hangout, have a good time, and occasionally have sex, but I also don't just want a booty call. He told me his work didn't lend itself to a committed relationship at the time and he was looking for the same. We had sex the second and third time we hung out. Then he started talking about how perfect I was and blah blah. So I reiterated that I am not looking for anything serious and I just want to be friends. He gave me the same line as before about how his work kept him busy and he didn't have time for a committed relationship. The fourth time we hung out, it was kinda late, so we just chilled out and watched a movie. I did not have sex with him that night. He never contacted me again.
I described this situation to a female friend and she said that I probably confused him by not having sex with him and he most likely was waiting for me to contact him to make sure he was wanted(even though he texted me at least every morning previously). She also said that what I was describing (someone to hangout, have a good time, and occasionally have sex with) was not an fwb.
I'm not interested in casually dating because I want sex, and I'm not interested in just a booty call because ideally I want a more meaningful relationship than just sex. But I also don't see the point in a committed relationship because I'm not interested in marriage or children.
Am I missing something?
What you want is pretty much in the gray area, is pretty much about interpretation. You gotta be more specific or they are going to 1) misunderstand you or 2) understand you perfectly but take advantage (many guys are specialized in those).
Tell them that you want a semi-serious relationship, when it doesn't matter if a future together ora family is or is not in the picture, but you need respect, friendship and a connection and basically you are not looking just for the 2, 3 days/weeks stand wathever.
To me that's look like what you want, if is not right, make up yours but be specific and clear.
[Edited 6/30/2012 11:21:55 PM ]
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6/30/2012 11:22:23 PM |
Please define FWB |
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teacherrich
Appleton, WI
62, joined May. 2012
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have you ever heard of aids and what other killers such behavior can cause. Anytime you induldge in that behavior you run a risk and you endanger others as well
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6/30/2012 11:23:58 PM |
Please define FWB |
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gonedays99
Eskifjördur
Iceland
28, joined Apr. 2012
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Fanatical wandering bunnies are the types that jump around in the front lawn and have like fluffy ears and tails.
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6/30/2012 11:25:31 PM |
Please define FWB |
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sharyagain
Atlanta, GA
40, joined Feb. 2011
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I think what you described is an extended booty call. If the payoff is sex most guys would be happy to hang out and have some fun for a short time. No sex equals a waste of time. If I had gotten use to having sex when hanging out with you and you didn't the last time. Then you changed the arrangement and that was not the agreement. Btw fwb is the nice way to say booty call, he would never see you as a real friend. Just what I think.
To me is the difference between a non-serious relationship (Aka not future together) when people care for each others even if for a while only, and FWB where is just pure f**king with no other exchages at all.
[Edited 6/30/2012 11:27:11 PM ]
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7/1/2012 12:56:19 AM |
Please define FWB |
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teacherrich
Appleton, WI
62, joined May. 2012
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shary, thats what nortick wants and your in the age group he's seeking even though he's 60 years old. Be careful he's checking the waters with you
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7/1/2012 1:04:02 AM |
Please define FWB |
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lovelyjoy
Tampa, FL
28, joined Dec. 2011
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Btw fwb is the nice way to say booty call, he would never see you as a real friend. Just what I think.
That may have been the case with this guy, but I have had genuine friends that I also occasionally shared intimacy with. I understand it doesn't work for everyone, but don't people believe in communication anymore?
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7/1/2012 1:15:19 AM |
Please define FWB |
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notrick158
Miami, FL
58, joined Jan. 2012
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To me is the difference between a non-serious relationship (Aka not future together) when people care for each others even if for a while only, and FWB where is just pure f**king with no other exchages at all.
You may be right, but for myself I would only invest feelings if I thought it was going somewhere. I take friendship very seriously. If its just sex I don't need a friend .
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7/1/2012 1:50:41 AM |
Please define FWB |
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notrick158
Miami, FL
58, joined Jan. 2012
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That may have been the case with this guy, but I have had genuine friends that I also occasionally shared intimacy with. I understand it doesn't work for everyone, but don't people believe in communication anymore?
I understand what you're saying ,I tried it myself two years ago. The lady and I talked, we had an agreement. Two months later she started telling me she loved me and wanted more. I knew it was time to end it. When I did, it was a crazy scene. See screamed why are you doing this to me, fell to her knees and grabbed onto my leg. It was all I could do to get out of there . I will never do that to myself or anyone else again.
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7/1/2012 1:55:48 AM |
Please define FWB |
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dan9787
Laval, QC
52, joined Apr. 2011
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Well my impression is that you have the right concept of what a FWB is, but your friend didn't want that.
Without getting stuck in definitions, you know you want someone, the same guy, to hang out with, have an-going friendly type of relationship, and with sex now and then. Someone you can talk with, share things with, not just anyone.
It's the man who either didn't want that, or thought you were letting him down.
Find someone who has a good grip of the concept.
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7/1/2012 9:44:53 AM |
Please define FWB |
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teacherrich
Appleton, WI
62, joined May. 2012
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That may have been the case with this guy, but I have had genuine friends that I also occasionally shared intimacy with. I understand it doesn't work for everyone, but don't people believe in communication anymore?
noticed you didn't answer about endangering others lives with your behavior. I think it kinda explains you really. Just a slut seeking sex and trying to justify it some how
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7/1/2012 12:52:09 PM |
Please define FWB |
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lovelyjoy
Tampa, FL
28, joined Dec. 2011
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noticed you didn't answer about endangering others lives with your behavior. I think it kinda explains you really. Just a slut seeking sex and trying to justify it some how
There is nothing to answer about endangering others. As I said, I'm not trying to lay with just anyone. If my seeking intimacy from someone I also call a friend makes me a slut, then by that definition everyone in a romantic relationship would be a slut. You're entitled to your opinions. I'm not here to change them. You do you, and I will do me.
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7/1/2012 12:56:45 PM |
Please define FWB |
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lovelyjoy
Tampa, FL
28, joined Dec. 2011
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I understand what you're saying ,I tried it myself two years ago. The lady and I talked, we had an agreement. Two months later she started telling me she loved me and wanted more. I knew it was time to end it. When I did, it was a crazy scene. See screamed why are you doing this to me, fell to her knees and grabbed onto my leg. It was all I could do to get out of there . I will never do that to myself or anyone else again.
That sounds like a situation where your partner was maybe less than honest with you about her desires. I often find that I'm the one who has to break off the arrangement because guys are the ones who develop feelings or reveal that they are in fact hoping for more. At any rate, as I said before, not everyone can handle that type of arrangement and sadly some people enter into an fwb situation thinking they can change their partner's mind
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7/1/2012 1:04:14 PM |
Please define FWB |
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spiceythang
Fayetteville, NC
37, joined May. 2012
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That's what I would call a FWB!
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7/1/2012 4:57:31 PM |
Please define FWB |
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littlebigpacman
Jeannette, PA
29, joined Apr. 2012
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What you wrote is exactly what FWB is. I think the best FWB scenario is usually with an ex (or maybe it's just me). When my ex and I broke up, we both still wanted to be friends and hang out. We were both mature and realized that this relationship wasn't going to work anymore. The unfortunate thing was we were having sex so much, it was hard to even fathom what life without sex at the snap of a finger would be like. We were like you, we both love to have sex, plus since we dated, we were very comfortable with each other.
To your point, I think some people (not just men) get all wrapped up in sex and start to believe they're falling for someone. I could see why this would happen. You meet someone new, get to know them a bit, have a good time together, and also get to have sex. It's just like a relationship but with no commitment. FWB can work, they just have to be with someone who wants the same thing and also understands. So your version of FWB is correct. However, I agree with what your friend said. You probably confused him by not having sex with him. You don't want to be someones toy, but at the same time, you want to have sex whenever you desire. Good luck.
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7/1/2012 5:02:06 PM |
Please define FWB |
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bigdaddyishere
Las Vegas, NV
36, joined Mar. 2011
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MILF
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