| 8/20/2008 12:54:20 PM |
Why did any of you divorce? | Page 2 |
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chas863
Gainesville, TX
51, joined Aug. 2008
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(this post has been flagged as inappropriate, sorry.)
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
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| 8/20/2008 11:57:05 PM |
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java41
Columbia, MO
72, joined Dec. 2007
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My ex was great in the beginning, but he was such a baby about things. He never gave me support when I needed it and I needed it alot with one child being hard to raise. He was not much of a father to this one child and wondered why he went in the wrong direction.
You couldn't kid with him about things but you'd better not take his kidding seriously. He was a very selfish person in many ways. I wanted communication and understanding and he wasn't giving me anything the last several years of the marriage. He blamed it on growing apart, but was unwilling to try to make it work as he wanted to go out and get him another woman. I know he was going with other women up to the time he got remarried but she doesn't know it to this day. I can't believe I married a man like that. He is a phoney and as nosey about my business as he can be.
I've been single for many years and haven't seen any great catches yet. I hope I can be proven wrong as I would like to have a great relationship.
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| 8/21/2008 12:07:19 AM |
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brakeman
Fargo, ND
45, joined May. 2004
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well having not took the time to read through all the posts,i'm pretty certain that my answer,she cheated on me,is a real common one....the real question is "how did we all end up with such unfaithful spouses?"
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| 8/21/2008 7:45:29 AM |
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chevygirl93
Eugene, OR
43, joined Jul. 2008
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i was with my x hubby for 12 years back in 1999 we got married and 10 days he cheated on me
with his cuz wife they were living with us and my parents in a 4 bedroom house i went to springfield to
help her stepdad out and she called to c if his truck would start but anyway i knew in my heart so i pulled up in driveway went upstairs and caught the b*tches i tried to work things out and all he did was play games for years and i got pissed and 2 years now i have been single screw them all he ever did was lie,cheat,and he has abused me before was stupid now smart
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| 8/21/2008 4:32:26 PM |
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purplerose68
Concord, NH
49, joined Jun. 2008
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grew apart
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| 8/21/2008 8:46:36 PM |
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sab1958
Elsie, MI
59, joined Jun. 2008
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My ex was very mean to my 2 older children and let the 2 younger one do what they want. He's wouldn't help paid any of the household bills or medical exspense. His money was 100% his my money was for the 4 children and us. I figure I was better off living on my own and getting child support. So I been on my own since 1998. Plus he's was seeing other women and buying them gifts while I was working. He's would check up on me when I was at work or if I went any place else. I couldn"t visit my family without him spying on me, so It was like I had no privacy.So I made him leave because I couldn't live like that.
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| 8/22/2008 8:01:26 PM |
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fishingmom
Lake Alfred, FL
63, joined Aug. 2008
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He loved his bar room buddies and they were more important than his wife and kids... dealt with it for 22yrs... Id say that was long enough.
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| 8/23/2008 2:43:57 AM |
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hunterdan
Olalla, WA
61, joined Jan. 2008
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found out she was going out on me and when confronted on this matter she amitted to six times and was ask if there was a seventh time, her answer was it doesnot matter how many time ive cheated i know god will forgive me.   thats all had to here
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| 8/23/2008 8:16:04 PM |
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pennell23101
Vine Grove, KY
41, joined Aug. 2008
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the argueing started to happen in front of the kids. if there is that much madness that it happens in front of the kids, its over. my view is that if the kids see it they think its the way things should be and i want the best for my kids so i have to show them that.
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| 8/23/2008 11:50:54 PM |
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hololio
Oklahoma City, OK
66, joined Mar. 2008
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My ex is a great guy! We just weren't meant to be married to each other.
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| 8/24/2008 12:42:46 AM |
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redmaryjane
Mayfield, KY
43, joined Aug. 2008
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The first time because he decided he wasnt ready to be a father.This was after we were married for 2 years and i was 3 months pregnant.He asked me to terminate,I Terminated him instead! Second time was because the little sob hit me,once that was enough.
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| 8/24/2008 10:16:40 PM |
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pittchat
Niceville, FL
54, joined Jul. 2008
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I caught her screwing my best friend in the middle of our living room floor.
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| 8/25/2008 6:46:42 AM |
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retired67
Bristol, VA
77, joined Aug. 2008
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Couldnt get her off prescription drugs. Tried for 8 yrs..Enough was enough
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| 8/25/2008 6:15:01 PM |
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blueshand
Syracuse, NY
66, joined Jul. 2008
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Her dayes would stop by when i was home with the kids...one turned out to be my dentist, and had the nerve to ask me when i would be in to see him. I told him that now was a very good time. She later ran off with a drug dealer, became a prostitute and wound up in prison,,,,i got my children.
[Edited 8/25/2008 6:16:43 PM ]
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| 8/25/2008 6:23:32 PM |
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lipchick
Longview, TX
57, joined Jun. 2008
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she got pregnant when i went to nam the first time i got a letter from my uncles wife (she was german so is my wife)right after the 68 tet offensive said she maid a mistake got pregnant i told her she needed to adopt the kid out and i would let it go...she did...i went back to nam 69 she told me she was pregnant thought it was mine found out march 2007 she got knocked up by my dad...both times ...i raised his bastard son!!!the divorce will be started in october...have to be here 6 month for residency.the old man is dead ...lucky for him ....she is still kicking...ain't much ican do....screwed up 40 years of my life.....stuff happens...i was mad for 3 or 4 days then experienced peace beyond all understanding.....Jesus works  !!!!peace
Okay.... I promise... I am not trying to be funny... just trying to get this straight in my own head! Does this mean you raised your own step-brother?? 
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| 8/26/2008 2:09:14 AM |
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inspectorrick
Florence, NJ
49, joined Mar. 2007
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she cheated on me when overseas(more than once)
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| 8/27/2008 10:20:07 AM |
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bluejay100803
Butler, KY
40, joined Jul. 2008
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he cheated on me with my "best friend" who is no longer my best friend.
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| 8/29/2008 6:02:19 AM |
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msattitude
Parkersburg, WV
52, joined Apr. 2008
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Not even a year after having cancer along with radiation and chemo... he decided he wanted to be with one of my "so-called" friends. She was married at the time as well. (Can you imagine how much trust will be in their relationship??? Both liars and Both cheaters!!!) They really do deserve each other. There is way more to the story but the last thing I will mention is she pled guilty to federal drug charges... WHAT A WINNER HE HAS NOW!!!
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| 8/29/2008 6:05:36 PM |
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iamworthmeeting
Appleton, WI
56, joined Aug. 2008
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My husband came home last Thanksgiving, ate my dinner I cooked all day, and then 2 hours later said he didn't want to be married anymore, no other reason, we didn't fight, I thought we were fine, then on my birthday the sunday after thanksgiving, he packed and left for his new woman. Then he tried to come home when it didn't work out, but I sent him packing. I refuse to tolerate cheating, it is the unforgiveable sin to me. It isn't getting any better, but I am still happy he is out of my life. I just have to get a grip on my life, and put it back together now. I don't care if it takes years.
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| 8/29/2008 7:14:20 PM |
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otheah
Painesville, OH
44, joined Jul. 2008
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Many reasons:
1. The man I dated was not the man I married!
2. Verbal abuse!
3. Constant cheating - sometimes in the bed I slept in!
4. No communication, except to make me feel like I ruined his life!
5. Trying to become a pot farmer while we were trying to raise a child (I came home to over 20 plants in the basement after almost 10 years of fighting with him on the reasons to not try to grow even one plant at home - #1 being our son)!
6. Being the only one willing to work on the relationship!
7. Got tired of paying credit card bills to feed the other women!
8. Living in a house that he was going to renovate, but the only work done was demolition (the rest I wasn't allowed to touch because he "had a plan")!
9. He openly expressed how much he "hated" me!
10. It was time!!!
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| 8/29/2008 7:28:53 PM |
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1goodguy1
Denville, NJ
58, joined Jan. 2008
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She wanted to control every thing i did or said!
Wanted me to be something I'm not!
Stopped talking? I don't know who's fault it was?
Suddenly had no feelings for her!
 
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| 8/29/2008 7:37:39 PM |
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imwonderful
Grand Junction, CO
50, joined May. 2008
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Besides the lying, cheating and all of that other stuff that my mom said was a "normal" part of a relationship (I was young and impressionable)....Well, you know the saying "If you don't have anything good to say don't say anything at all"? The silence was deafening! I am not sure he noticed that I left until he went looking for the kids.
[Edited 8/29/2008 7:37:59 PM ]
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| 8/29/2008 7:43:13 PM |
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kweekhi7
Lansdale, PA
72, joined Aug. 2008
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I filed over four years ago after a 39 year marriage full of CONTROL. Nothing I did was ever right and if he asked me a question that may have had 2 choices, I knew whichever one I chose would be wrong. No cheating, no violence, no intimacy...and after 39 years I got the message. 2 great kids came from the marriage and we did have a few, very few, good times, but I am happy and secure now in my own home. I just need a little fun, dates, activities with a man. And a little affection.
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| 8/31/2008 4:54:59 PM |
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somewhere4132in
Mentor, OH
62, joined May. 2008
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Semms like it is he number one choice of divorce. CHEATERS. Mine was and is cheating. New life style. Plus the mind game thing. I was walking on egg shells. So I am with the most of all of you on this one.
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| 8/31/2008 6:49:51 PM |
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softspirit51
Mesa, AZ
66, joined Jan. 2008
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The first divorce was because he beat me. Came home drunk and either hit me, aimed a gun at me, or came at me with a knife. It was a living nightmare. The last divorce, My Ex got layed off where he worked, and decided to live up in our mountain home and leave me at the home in the valley. It hurt so much, I fell out of love and got a divorce.
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| 8/31/2008 9:30:57 PM |
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dans454
Kensington, MD
59, joined Aug. 2008
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The four kids and I got in the way of her drug abuse, and her boyfriend was offended that I was sleeping with his girlfriend . I got the kids, she took the money. I got the best deal.
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| 8/31/2008 9:42:48 PM |
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litmaven
Pittsburgh, PA
48, joined Aug. 2008
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Mine made a joke out of it at first. Said, "if we ever got divorced, I'll bet we could come to an amicable division." Literally said those words. I said, "don't even joke about that." The next day, he said, "I wasn't really joking." Meanwhile, this is about 10 days after Christmas... I was waiting for a damned root canal appointment the following day and was in the worst pain of my life (and I've had multiple knee surgeries). Oh yeah... I cooked Christmas dinner for HIS parents and couldn't even eat it because of the pain. Forget the fact that all I wanted was to be with MY parents that day... sigh.
Anyway, we had his deposition last week (he's disputing our marital assets), and I found out THEN that he had been cheating. Spending HUNDREDS on jewelry, lingerie, hotels... with whatever wh*re now lives in my house.
I got the dog and the (imported from Italy) espresso machine, and my mom's dining room furniture... so screw him. I'm SO better off without him... but I still should have my fair share of the cash, right? And I sure as hell shouldn't be paying over $400 a month for his medical insurance. Let that little trollop take care of him.
Wow... I sound bitter. I guess I'm still pissed, but I really am better off without him. I didn't realize until it was over that he kept me from my family and made me feel lousy about myself. Damn him to hell...
Seems like I'm not the only wronged person out there. I took my vows a lot more seriously than that...
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| 8/31/2008 10:00:50 PM |
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teachur
Vergennes, VT
50, joined Aug. 2008
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I wondered why he was sleeping on the couch for a month before my scheduled trip to Florida. Then I decided to investigate and I was very good at it. I noticed that he was spending a lot of time on the internet, so I checked the history and emails going out. BINGO. I printed out emails that said, " I'm 49 and good looking, Let's get together." Also, "My wife is going to Florida this weekend, let's meet at the casino. I gave them all to him before I left to go to the airport and told him that I hope you find what you are looking for. I had a wonderful time in Florida, cried all the way home. That's when I knew it was time to go. I have been with this person since I was eighteen and if you ever heard the Nicole Simpson tapes of abuse, that was how he was.I called in sick, moved out, filed for divorce, and began living on my own on April Fools Day. He had someone moved into my house after one month. Let's just say I will be sure to get my fair share.
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| 9/1/2008 11:16:40 AM |
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zoncey
Frankfort, IL
62, joined Jan. 2007
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the first one put her job before her family and the second one was cheating and emptyed
our bank accts.
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| 9/1/2008 2:52:19 PM |
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michele13
McHenry, IL
49, joined Aug. 2008
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I did not want it. I have health issues and could not have children. My ex left me for someone on a roll playing online game. Michele. Divorce sucks.
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| 9/1/2008 4:15:38 PM |
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munchkin57
Medicine Hat, AB
67, joined Jul. 2008
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Loooonnnnng story, but here goes. (let's see who can understand this the most!) 1st x wouldn't touch me (sex) for over two years. He said it was because he didn't want children, I was on the pill. He said, he couldn't trust me to take them I did take them  I had a tubal ligation at age 28 to sooth his fears  After I had recovered from that and a cyst that had popped out during the procedure, he still wouldn't touch me Well, to make this long story short, what he meant was, he just didn't want children with ME !!!! He forgot to add that to the conversation. The day I was gathering up my stuff to move out, he walked in with the girlfreind, now wife. That's when the lightbulb went on, damn, I felt stupid. AND BETRAYED, why couldn't he have been straight up with me, this had aparently been going on for over 2 years!!!!! When they say love is blind, they must have been talking about me for sure.
2nd x, many of you ladies can relate to, emotionaly abusive, psycologically abusive for 19 1/2 years, woke up one day and said to self, I'm going to die if I continue to live this way and left. My self esteem was gone, I was stupid, brainless, depressed, isolated, uneducated, useless, looked like I was 70 years old or more, felt like I was 100. I am much better now and I hope to find that special someone whose second name is R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
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| 9/1/2008 8:33:13 PM |
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blueeyezforyou
Choctaw, OK
48, joined Aug. 2008
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He was a liar and a cheater. His kids and I were not at the top of his priority list.
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| 9/1/2008 9:00:11 PM |
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cblueyes8
Berea, KY
52, joined Jan. 2008
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SHE HAD A GREAT CAREER AND CHEATED WITH A CO-WORKER . I HAVE A GREAT CAREER AND 3 KIDS TO RAISE NOW.NOW IM TRYING TO FIND ANOTHER WOMAN I CAN TRUST.LONLY AND BROKEN HEARTED!19 YEARS DOWN THE tubes.
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| 9/1/2008 9:13:45 PM |
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bigdaddy45011
Hamilton, OH
32, joined Aug. 2008
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my ex wife like hitting on me because she knew i wouldnt hit her back
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| 9/1/2008 9:16:56 PM |
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johndoe2999
Longview, WA
38, joined Aug. 2008
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She decided she didn't want to be married and left me and my 3 year old daughter.
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| 9/1/2008 9:59:31 PM |
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katalicious4u
Bolivia, NC
48, joined Aug. 2008
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He cheated after 17 years but did it more than once I found out. Kick him to the curb.
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| 9/1/2008 10:05:47 PM |
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jaziej32
Templeton, MA
42, joined Jul. 2008
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she wanted drugs, she cheated and beat our kids and spent every dime I made
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| 9/1/2008 10:40:49 PM |
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imrich29
Wessington Springs, SD
68, joined Aug. 2007
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after the 6th guy i found in my bed she had to go the bed was to crowded
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| 9/2/2008 9:03:53 AM |
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sweetness1954
Hebron, IN
63, joined Dec. 2007
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Wow, it's really scarey when you see how many were cheated on. Does it make you wonder if anyone out there is honest?
I think the new wedding vows should be" I will love, no honor, not obey, cheat, and lie to you and if you don't like it don't marry me" 
I was cheated on in all three of my marriages, so ladies, if you stay home, clean, do all yard work, paint, repair, and make meals, don't do it anymore your not appreciated.
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| 9/2/2008 7:55:56 PM |
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junebug101
Coalinga, CA
61, joined Feb. 2008
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I got tired of supporting him
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| 9/2/2008 8:33:10 PM |
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laurenrw
Bellefontaine, OH
45, joined Feb. 2008
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Seems like the standard (cheating). The worst part of that was that I was on infertility drugs to try and have a baby. Walked in and caught him. The good news is that life gets better and in time the pain goes away.
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| 9/2/2008 8:45:44 PM |
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mj56
Splendora, TX
61, joined Aug. 2008
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I found out he had a girlfriend for the last 3 yrs. Mental abuse for 32 yrs. What a waste except for my beautiful kids. It's sad that marriage vows seem to mean so little nowadays.
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| 9/6/2008 10:18:18 PM |
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solar_wind
New Haven, KY
43, joined Jul. 2008
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I came home from work and found hand prints on my 5 year old's throat.
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| 9/6/2008 10:39:14 PM |
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1redneckguy
Federal Way, WA
36, joined Jun. 2008
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she told me she did not love me any more and would not give me any other reason and laughed at me when I ask if she wanted to try and work it out
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| 9/7/2008 10:00:32 PM |
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grasshopper74
Churubusco, IN
43, joined Aug. 2008
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Drugs. vs family.... picked drugs, left family high and dry most of the time,
so he wasn't there for his family. Blew paycheck after paycheck.
ditto Love of drugs and alcohol not me or our daughter
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| 9/8/2008 7:17:23 PM |
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kruzer_mike
Baytown, TX
64, joined Sep. 2008
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Remarried after my first wife passed away.... finally got a call at work from the credit union saying they were going to repossess my car for non-payment..long story short..she was going gambling with her girlfriends while I was at work. Spent $15,000 in one weekend. She thought I was being unfair demanding she go to counseling. When she refused, I cut her loose.
Sorry to say the lesson I learned is never make decisions when you are struggling emotionally.
Mike
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| 9/8/2008 9:40:52 PM |
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greeneyemimi
Urbana, OH
57, joined Dec. 2007
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because he didnt want to work thought he should stay home and he abused me and verbal abuse. rammed my car while i had our daughter with me while pumping gas. couldnt take it anymore. i took a vow but enough was enough
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| 9/8/2008 10:18:13 PM |
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moonshadow59
Mahomet, IL
58, joined Sep. 2008
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The ex-husband - Married for 25 years. Workaholic, never home, was always trying to keep up with the Jones. We kept moving. The last move when I was with him was out of state one state from home. Then he decided to move half way across the county and I did not want to go. It was his dream not mine so we split cause he said I was holding him back. I felt it was the best for both. We had grown apart and did not have much to say to each other anymore.
I moved back home and found my best friend in high school single. We lived together for seven years and was engaged. His family broke us up. His mother died and left large trust with witch sister in charge (well three witch sisters). Forced him to move to homestead or they would take what he had coming to him. Banded me from homestead.
The break up with fiancee has just about killed me. Hardly shed a tear over ex-husband.
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| 9/8/2008 10:26:51 PM |
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donovaninsurrey
Surrey, BC
48, joined Jan. 2008
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my ex went to visit her dads new wife and when she got home, she told me how her new stepmother told her that she doesnt love her dad, and her dad doesnt love her and that he wanted more kids and she wanted a house. my ex told me this story with a gleem in her eye. 2 months later she moved out. how lame
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| 9/8/2008 10:27:38 PM |
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fazdraw
Austin, TX
65, joined Aug. 2008
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The animal shelter wouldn't take her. Her parents didn't want her back and killin' her was against the law...
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| 9/8/2008 11:32:56 PM |
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keykeper34
Boise, ID
63, joined Apr. 2008
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The animal shelter wouldn't take her. Her parents didn't want her back and killin' her was against the law...
LMAO
That is baaaaaadddddd
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| 9/8/2008 11:36:39 PM |
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keykeper34
Boise, ID
63, joined Apr. 2008
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Our goals changed and we grew apart.
Then we quit talking.
Then the space between us filled up with all the stuff we no longer said to each other.
After the space started filling up, it was done.
So, for my next one, I won't repeat my mistake. It is good if you can learn from your mistakes.
Sounds like mine.
What used to be our relationship ended up being empty air.
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| 9/9/2008 1:38:46 AM |
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flyingdutchman
Lancaster, CA
53, joined Jan. 2008
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my family would not stop getting in my bussiness and made it hell for us to
Then you dump your Family! If that is really the reason?!
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| 9/9/2008 1:46:27 AM |
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flyingdutchman
Lancaster, CA
53, joined Jan. 2008
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It seems now at day’s the contract we entered into means NOTHING.
For better of worst, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, TILL DEATH DO US PART!
Only three valid reasons for divorce IMO.
• Cheating
• Abuse
• Deceit
Perhaps all other idiosyncrasies could have been worked out. I wonder how many people realized the grass was in fact yellow on the other side of that proverbial fence.
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| 9/9/2008 1:48:03 AM |
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dunediva
Happy Valley, OR
53, joined Sep. 2008
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I'm still trying to figure it all out. I thought we were soul mates but after 21yrs he has decided he just can't be married to me anymore. I am sure there is not another woman but can't figure it out. We are in the beginning of the process. Will this hurt go away.
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| 9/9/2008 10:12:40 AM |
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womanofproverbs
Orlando, FL
55, joined Sep. 2008
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After Seventeen Years, I Loved Him Enough To See Him Happy and Alive!.. For He Had Abusively Put His Hands On Me Too Many Times (with the last being "in my sleep")... "WHEN A WOMAN'S FED UP, IT AIN'T NOTHIN YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT"... I TOOK THE WAY OUT, INSTEAD OF SITTING IN (a jail cell that is)... Smile
Yo Girl, WomanofProverbs
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| 9/9/2008 10:23:57 AM |
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womanofproverbs
Orlando, FL
55, joined Sep. 2008
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Dear dunediva from Happy Valley, OR...
Time heals all wounds... Hang in there, "for it's best to hurt for a little while than the rest of your life"... If you can't see the reason for it all (you were wasting your time anyway), "because in reality you never knew him" (so you may have been living a lie)... and it doesn't have to be another woman "the down low is real"... Don't "stress" be "blessed" and remember that God does everything for a reason and works it out for our good... My prayers are with you...
Sincerely, WomanofProverbs*
[Edited 9/9/2008 10:26:10 AM ]
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| 9/9/2008 10:53:41 AM |
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oblue
Bowling Green, KY
60, joined Aug. 2008
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Drugs will do it every time,tryed to get here help but she found a easy way to get
better drugs with a dope head.We was married for 19 years but the last 5 years was
a joke.No place for her in my life just hope she happy now.
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| 9/9/2008 11:06:46 AM |
Why did any of you divorce? | Page 2 |
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alleykatrva
Richmond, VA
40, joined Aug. 2008
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I divorced due to his unchecked alcoholism and cheating. The credit card debt was just icing on the cake.
Live and learn...that's all I can say.
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| 9/10/2008 12:13:39 AM |
Why did any of you divorce? | Page 2 |
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danguitarman
Redding, CA
64, joined Aug. 2007
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Dear DuneDiva, I'm like you. I don't know why. It was all her doing. Everyone else seems to know what happened to them but I don't have a clue. I think it was just her brain chemistry or hormones. Either the dopamine (supposed to be the brain's love drug) wore off or she entered menopause. Either way, she went from "I need you like the air" to "we're too different". It was my first marriage but my second long term relationship and they both ended with my woman walking away without any reason I could figure out. I know that the same thing happened to my brother. And I swear I gave her no cause.
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